Here's all the links that we discussed on this week's episode:
Lil Bit'a News
Ohio man goes on all-beer diet again for Lent to lose weight, gain money for charity
Burger King sued by customers who claim Whopper is smaller than advertised
-BK Tiny Hands: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C89uOeDL9Gw
Man finds semen in salad at Red Robin
-WKUK Pussy Salad: https://youtu.be/zGK1K19iuO0?t=122
Southwest Passenger Arrested for Masturbating FOUR Times During Flight
Company Installs VR-Enabled Masturbation Pod for Employees
The Deep Shot
Stefon Diggs gets the bag
Four-year, $104 million extension that includes guaranteed $70 million
What could he do with the money:
Purchase 577 houses in Buffalo (median sold price $180k)
65,408,805 wings from Bar Bill Tavern (one of Buffalo’s most esteemed wing stops)
4,118,811 Niagara Falls tours on the Maid of the Mist
Buy 1.8% stake in Bills ownership (values at $5.7b in 2021)
How does this money translate to on the field performance ($104m / average of his 2 years in Buffalo * 4)
$157,575.76 for every target
$226,086.96 for every reception
$18,840.58 for every yard
$2,888,888.89 for every Rec TD
Get Josh to ride shotgun with this Bills Mafioso
AJ from The BotchPod and Buffalo AF on IG & TikTok - links in the show notes
Down goes Lil Josh Allen
Looks like a technical to me
Europe’s Country Strongest Mans
Scrub My Clip
Monkey head bob
Fastest Potato Head
Unspoken language of the whites
In the love chair
Italian Puppet Show
Saved by the bell
Now time and place, totally inappropriate. But the ambidextrous nature of being able to wink it on both sides kind of impressive it's this sway parade with shock sway welcome into this Sway Parade. My name is Shook Sway and this is the show. This is the parade. Sit back, relax, whatever you do. And if driving to work, coming home from work, sitting in your living room, I saw one of your listeners actually pulling up on the big screen on the television and watching the show.
So I appreciate everyone for watching, listening, consuming the content. It means a whole bunch because I spend the whole lot of time working on this stuff and it's all for you all to enjoy it now. Quick, super quick plug. If you want to help support the show monetarily, you don't have to. The show's completely free. Everything is free that you can get.
But there is parade plus plans. It's way unlimited dot com. Go check it out. Sign up if you want to. The parade or infinity plan got bumped up. It's a little bit more expensive now but it math works out that it's $0.69 a month for 69 years is like $571 but it's a great investment and you get a lot of perks with that.
But what is the show if you are brand new to it. Well this is a break away from all of the stuff that's going on in the world just to sit back and have a fun time, read some crazy news, check out some sports and screw up some clips. So let's get into a first thing. There is a phone number that you can call.
That is the direct line to this show. The telephones right here. 818275 sway. You call that number, you leave any message you want. It does not get screened until this very moment when the recording has begun. So pick up the phone, call that number and leave a message. And let's move on to the calls we have for this week.
Hey, Chuck, this is Todd Harmon, bottled There's the first call. Todd Horton Bible. Thanks for checking in. There's another call here. It's from the same number. So I think they're going to elaborate a little bit more on what they wanted to talk about. Let's check it out. A chat got a little messed up on that last one there.
This is Todd Harden doll. And I just wanted to talk to you and get your sort of your take on the situation. So here's what I got. It's it's you know, it's springtime and, you know, everything's blooming and popping off in I've got this big problem. I've got a big problem. There's these trees out here. They're just they're they're common everywhere.
There's come on. My car there's there's come on my house. There's come on my driveway. There's coming my cat. You know, some of you know, it is pollen, but I tree come from getting all of my house, and I just want to know, Chuck, is this a problem that you experienced? You have come tree come just all over the place?
Is it just me? My the only person with palm tree come to Goodwill all over the place. Just please let me know. Chad, thank you. Have a good day. That's a great question. And it's springtime. And the cup is very present in nature. Yes, I have experienced this, Todd. I think everyone has. You walk outside, you go and get in your car, and there's just a bunch of plant come pollen as the official term would be noted as.
But, yeah, that's semen everywhere. And guess what? If you have allergies, you're allergic to come. So there's nothing I don't have any suggestions as to what you could do to avoid that. Maybe don't go outside if you were that concerned about this come being everywhere. But it's just it's that time of year. The the trees and the plants, they're all waking up from their winter nap and they're just right nothing all over the place.
So, Todd, my advice to you would be outside of the political implications and just general health implications, wear a mask that might help, but thank you for calling in again, that number. If you have a similar issue with plant come or an issue with anything else that you need to take on. 818275 Sway. I also wanted to mention right.
You can help support the show monetarily parade plus plan. You can sign up for it, but something that is completely free and takes about 5 seconds is heading over to the same site swear unlimited dot com and signing up for the email list. There's going to be a $50 visa gift card up for grabs. So go on sign up your email it's not going to be any spam.
We're six episodes into this. I still haven't sent out a single email yet so it's sitting on it so it's not going to be every day. Hey, you listen to this week's episode, I have to teach you to engage with the Instagram clip and Chuck underscore swear it. No, it's going to be very methodic whole in which we do things and informative and worth your while and you could, you know, win a $50 as gift card.
So check it out on top of that. The thing that is absolutely free to do and helps this show tremendously is to like subscribe comment rate, do all that stuff the same song and dance that any and every content creator is pleading for you the consumer to do. But here at the Sway Parade, we like to take it a step further.
The engagement and the involvement of the listener and the viewer is very important. But I think every single creator, aside from myself, I could be wrong. There are millions of them. They don't look past who is consuming their content. They don't look to the actual nitty gritty of the sorting of the almighty algorithm. So as we do every week, we shall pray to that algorithm almighty algorithm your power, vast and pure your sort is truth and I am here to give myself to you almighty algorithm, so that you may see that what we're doing here at the Sway Parade is worth your consideration and your prioritization I give you my heart.
I give you my soul in exchange for your blessings. Oh, almighty, algorithm. Amen.
All right, now, we got that out of the way. Let's get in to some news. What's the big deal, fella? It's just a little bad news.
First story, Ohio man goes on all beer diet again. For Lent to lose weight, gain money for charity. Dale Hall, the co-owner of Ohio's 16 Lots Brewing Company, began his all beer diet in 2019 over a 40 day fast. Not only did he lose £40, but Hall says he felt great in the process. Ever since Hall decided to make the fast his tradition, he had begun to add his goal.
He but let me back up here for a second. But he began to add a goal to his only unusual diet in 2020 raising money for charity while also losing weight. Now Del and I have an endeavor in common because in 2020 right around two years ago to the date we're in April right now, I went on an all rice diet, not for 40 days.
I couldn't do the whole Lent, but for 28 days I ate nothing but plain white rice and I tried to raise some money for charity. As well. So, Del, you and I were on the same page with sacrificing our bodies for the greater good. According to his Go Fund Me page from 2020 Hull lost £50 and raised $10,000 for charity during the pandemic.
Those are pretty good numbers. I didn't lose £50. I didn't raise $10,000. I get pretty close. So a 10th of the way. It was about $1,000 to Feeding America, and I lost, uh, £35 in a month is very healthy. I recommend if you're looking for a quick and destructive weight loss solution just eat plain white rice or just drink and nothing but beer.
While many worry about his health over the 40 days haul, he said in the past he has consulted his doctors about the choice. It's a good call. He said that. She said, You're an idiot if you do this. Yeah, I would agree with that. But he's going four years strong now. Three years strong now. And yeah. What the fuck do doctors know anyways?
He's going to lose weight just by drinking beer and he's doing it for charity. If you want to read a little bit more about this story, you can check out. So element of dot com. I post all the links and all the show notes. So if you want to follow along, you can check out, make sure everything is where it needs to be.
If you're curious how something looks or something sounds, it's all there. You can access it. Next story. Burger King sued by customers who claim Whopper is smaller than advertised for Burger King. Customers are suing the chain over its marketing, claiming that the company makes the burger look about 35% bigger in its advertising than it is in reality. I don't know how you came up with that number at 35%.
It's well, to me that looks about 35%. The lawsuit alleges deceptive trade practices with the file claiming that Burger King stated to materially overstate the size of its burgers and ads beginning in 2017. The timeline doesn't add up because in 2007 if we remember Burger King had a brilliant ad campaign with a tiny hands to take a look.
Whoa guys wrong turn this is BBQ Whopper Jr is just a buck. Flame. Fresh off the grill with I've got these tiny hands and that big burger is going to make them look even tinier. What if we all just turn our backs while you eat Let's do this.
So these four accusers of the king didn't do their research beyond 2017 because Burger King's been putting it right out there where you can see it with your tiny hands. If you have small hands, you can eat this big old whopper So do your research. Burger King has called has been called out by authorities in the past for its advertising techniques.
In 2010, the UK's advertising authority told the chain that it misled viewers about the size of a chicken burger and told the chain to stop running the spot. It's not even taking into consideration the tiny hands on. That was a whopper. Full blown. It's massive, tiny hands. You can't eat it. This is for a chicken sandwich in the UK.
So 35% bigger in the advertising. I don't know. You be the judge. I don't typically frequent a Burger King, but I might just go ahead and get a whopper and then just hold it up to my phone and compare sizes and come up with 35%. All right, next story. Staying in the food realm. Man finds semen in salad at Red Robin A black Multnomah County resident is suing Red Robin for $1 million after ordering a salad at the restaurant and finding semen in it.
A lawsuit filed on behalf of the mother of the man. A lawsuit filed on behalf of the man identified as City alleges that the staff at the Red Robin and Clackamas did not treat his group of friends and family the same way they treated other customers, which is why they led this story with a black county resident Among the ways they were treated differently is that they were separated from sitting together, and that one named defendant referred to his group as a big gang Okay.
City ordered a salad, and while he was eating it, he became aware that it contained semen. Now, I'm just going off of my reference. If I was eating a salad and it tasted funky. My brain doesn't go to someone came in the salad This tastes like cum, but apparently he's familiar with the taste. The texture and light went off, and he's like, that's come.
That's come in my salad. City became nauseous, queasy and disgusted and was hospitalized later that night for nausea. And a panic attack. Yeah. I don't blame him.
No one should be subjected to eating. Come. They don't want to eat just like Todd from earlier calling. No one should be subjected to all the plant come in the air right now. But in a salad. Sheesh. Before he left the restaurant, Katie put the semen and surrounding material. It's a direct quote. I assume the surrounding material is the salad.
In a container. Read Robin provided laboratory analysis later found the substance was semen. So he went to a lab with a half-Eaten salad from Red Robin. Open up. The Styrofoam was like, hey, I think there's come in here in the labs. Like, what's okay. Let's test it. They take their little vials and droppers. Put it in. Shake it up.
That's come. You guessed it. It's cool. I'm going to sue Red Robin now. Red Robin was not able to identify the employees they had working that night. The suit states because they suffered a data hack. Oh, how convenient. Oh. Who was working that night? I don't know. We have, like, 15 employees. It was at least seven of them were on shift, but we got hacked Fuck out of here, by the way.
Fuck Red Robin, I. I will share my experience. It was nowhere near the level of semen in my salad. Maybe because the service I got, there was just no effort to put. I could have ordered semen on my cell. They still wouldn't have done it for me. We showed up. We sat at the bar. We waited like 15 minutes just to get a menu.
And then we waited another 35, 35%, 35 minutes just to get our non inseminated food one and only time I considered dining and dashing, but I didn't meet good citizen and there wasn't any common my food. So according to this story, I should be grateful. But yeah. Fuck you, Red Robin. And if anyone remembers this show, the whitest kids, you know, they did a bit.
And this is a older show, but they did a bit. And I felt like it was quite relevant to this story about how the feather tastes like feather so it's got to be the spinach because the whole thing tastes like pussy and cheese. Can I try mine? Yeah. Dig in. Where in the hell is this waiter guy? Waiter?
This salad doesn't taste like pussy. I knew it. You are grounded, young man. What? I knew you'd been eating pussy. And now I guess all of us do. And now everyone in Clackamas that wants to go to Red. Robin knows that there's cum in the salad. Next story. So we're staying on topic here. Well, this is great how this all comes together.
Southwest passenger arrested for masturbating four times during flight. A man on a Southwest Airlines flight from Seattle to Phenix is facing federal charges for pulling down his pants and masturbating at least four times in front of a female passenger beginning shortly after takeoff. No. First off, I don't know why they need to add that information of it was in the air This is when it happened on the airplane.
It wasn't grounded. Does that mean it's different laws, like when you're close enough to a port, it's that country or that state's jurisdiction. But then when you're out at sea or you're in the air, it's international waters, it's international space. And the international calm enforcement gets in the play. It's read more here. Antonio Gerard McGarrity was arrested by officers from the Phenix Police Department when Southwest Flight 38 14 landed Sky Harbor International Airport on Saturday.
McGarrity told cops that he didn't do anything wrong and in fact thought it was kind of kinky. Shortly after taking off and while the aircraft was in the air again, what's with the international airspace and the police in the sky? McGarrity exposed his penis by pulling down his pants and shorts and began masturbating. I like to how this is a breakdown of like this is how he masturbated the plane.
Right. It's an airplane. Once it got into the air, this man then removed his pants and removed his trousers. Took his penis out of its resting point and then began to fondle himself. We got that from the headline when the female seated next to him noticed his lewd behavior she began taking pictures of McGarrity when he fell asleep after masturbating for roughly an hour.
The female passenger told a crew member about what she had witnessed and was allowed to move to another seat. Can you imagine? You look over. You opted for the middle seat. And the window seat dude is just jerking it Take a picture of that and then hit the button booth. Flight attendant comes over. Hello.
This guy here. He's asleep now, but I have pictures if you want to see. He was fucking jerking off Can I move seats? Can you imagine that exchange with the flight attendant? Like, Oh, no, we have a strict. No, we can't move seats. Sorry. It's just our policy. And they turn over. Sir, your mask needs to be on.
Unless you're eating I'm sorry, ma'am. I have more important measures to deal with, but she was able to move seats. Thank God. That has to be. This is like the Louis C.K. incident on steroids at 30,000 feet. Police officers interviewed the woman who reiterated she had seen McGarrity masturbating on four separate occasions, using both his left and right hands.
Now, time and place, totally inappropriate. But the ambidextrous nature of being able to whack it on both sides kind of impressive, McGarrity advised. He asked the female witness if she minded if he masturbates The complaint states. According to McGarrity, the female witness put her hands in the air and said It doesn't really matter. So if this is true, right?
He's claiming he did nothing wrong, and it was kind of kinky. But if this is true, I mean, flying is very stressful. I get a lot of anxiety when I'm in the air, not to the point where I was like, I should beat my meat for the last time. But if he had the courtesy to be like, Excuse me, ma'am, would you mind if I masturbated?
And if she said, it doesn't really matter to me, it's like one of those things is like, can I go to the bathroom versus me? I go to the bathroom. It's like, excuse me, ma'am. Does it bother you that I have masturbated before? I don't care. Took it as like, cool. Yeah. Going in right now. Statement from Southwest Air Alaska line here.
No, that's it. Statement from Southwest Air. On April 2nd, we received reports of inappropriate customer behavior on flight 38. 14 from Seattle to Phenix. The situation was reported to crew members while in-flight Again, in-flight has to be in the air for it to be an issue. If this was on the ground, on the taxiway and there was a passenger masturbating there just like well, we're not in the air, so we can't really do anything.
Just make sure to keep your seat and tray table up and don't whip out your cock in the air. And the captain contacted law enforcement to meet aircraft, meet the aircraft upon arrival. So Southwest like I mean, yeah, it did happen. And the flight attendant gets this information, right? Goes to the front, knocks on the captain's door and like there's a passenger masturbate And then he has to go on the air.
If you've ever listened to like air traffic control and just airplane communication from nine over one away or all this echo bravo, it sounds like gibberish. So then you have to break that mold of professionalism, like, oh, look, this is flight 38, 14 and a bird. We have a passenger masquerading as Braniff in the air. Our request from Russian for law enforcement over I mean, what can you do once it's in the air?
That's really you're kind of in a rock and a hard place. You know, masturbate on flights in-flight if you're on the ground and in the plane, I would say take your chances. Next story. It's a wild story or idea that some wild names and I want to mention to you before we get into this last story, if you ever find some crazy shit out on the Web and you want it to be heard on this show, send it to me.
Send email. How do you sway unlimited dot com? Damn, it's me on Instagram. Check on the score, sway or join the Sway Parade Discord and drop it there in the appropriate channels. Let's check out the story. Company installs VR Enabled Masturbation Pod for employees. Mm hmm. A sex startup says it's created a VR enabled masturbation pod for companies that want to make their employees very uncomfortable.
Very quickly, a lot of common masturbation in the first 20 minutes. Welcome to the Sway Parade. Strip Chat. A porn site naturally announced in a blog post that it's developed something it's dubbed a wank pod to give employees, to give company employees a place to engage in a little office onan ism. I don't look this word up the definition of onan ism is masturbation or coitus interruptus, which then the definition of that word is sexual intercourse.
In which the penis is withdrawn before ejaculation. There is a Latin phrase for pulling out and I guess if it's not in where it's supposed to be, it's got its own word, coitus interruptus. And you can do that in this pod but not on a plane and fuck you plants because you're doing it. No one asked you to.
The company even installed one in their own workplace and plans a commercial rollout in the future. And I have the blog post from this strip chat site. Just looks like a regular old pause you would see in a typical office. And you get in there, you sit down, you put on your VR, you got your little handles, you got lube, you got a nice 4K monitor.
You have all the creature comforts that you don't typically find in the sky, but you do in these wank pods the each wing pod is planning to come fully equipped with a masturbatory accessories, including 4K, LCD screen VR cam and boosted by Dream Cams technology. I don't know what that is. The Oculus Quest. VR Headset. Lotion, tissues and more.
Now I have had one of these Oculus Quest sitting in a wish list for quite some time, and I can't bring myself to pull the trigger. I want to though it VR. I've used it before. I've used the quest before. It's super cool for non masturbatory things. But then I brought it up to the wife and I was like, Hey, do you want to buy this?
This VR headset? You let me be cool. Like just, you know, experience the future and she responded immediately, like she had rehearsed it. She's like, Yeah, but what if you use it to masturbate? That's weird. And like, I wasn't planning on it and I won't. If you don't want me to, I won't have any desire to sleep. It's just weird because you're like, there and you think that you know, you're with the people on the, on the video.
And I'm like, not, not my thing. Not my thing. So masturbation pods, especially in the workplace, maybe not for me, but this could be an idea. Kind of take a load off, especially if it's encouraged. If you're traveling for business and you make it all the way through the flight, then you land. You're like, I really have to fucking jerk off right now.
You get to the office or you get to the hotel or get these could be everywhere. You get there and be like, Oh, thank God, there's a masturbation pod. Oh, I can't hold it anymore. Primal urges. Primal Urges. Well, that does it for the news. Let's move on to the Deep Shot. This episode of the Sway Parade is brought to you by support from Parade Plus members.
Shout out to A.J. Joe, Michael Davis, Reverend Tanner, Mills, Quinn and Tyler. If you want to hear your name, shout it out each week, not by sharing stuff to be played on the show. Head on over to Sway Unlimited Icon and sign up for a parade. Plus, plan, plan. Start as low as $6.90 a month. Bunch of bonus content that you can get access to and that helps support the show is actually something I am working on acquiring that would not have been possible without the contribution from these wonderful float goats as they are branded.
So sway on limited dot com go there. Sign up. Now let's get back to the show straight Look at that big belly shock. You get the restless deep shot. Okay. First story in the deep shot. If you're watching on YouTube or if you've seen any of the clips on social media, you know that there's always this Josh Allen Bills helmet sitting here signed by him.
His hand graced this helmet. And I just want to take a note here. There is a facsimile signature of Josh Allen here, a little a little bit of shrine. And then today I even wore the Buffalo Bills hat to show my support, not directly for Josh Allen, although he always has that, but for one of his best friends, wide receiver, Stefon Diggs, secured the bag, signed a deal four years, $104 million contract extension and a $70 million guarantee.
Now, I know not all of the listeners of this show are into sports, which is one of the reasons to why the Deep Shot isn't a full blown show in and of itself anymore. Just a little segment. So instead of boring you with hero Stefon Diggs, you caught this many balls and this many touchdowns, and he's going to be an integral piece to the Super Bowl run for the bills for years to come.
It's like, yeah, let's go somewhere else to find that. But what we do here is we break down the numbers. We have a little bit of fun with what Stefon Diggs could do with that. $104 million in his contract extension and it goes beyond football. So let's check this out. What can he do with all this money? And this is an assumption that he gets the full $104 million he's already getting $70 million.
Doesn't matter. He could wake up tomorrow be like, I don't want to play football anymore. It's like, well, okay, we thought you were going to have but here's $70 million. No, this is the assumption that he plays all the way through he gets all the incentives, all the bonuses, gets the $404 million. So what can he do with that money?
No one he could purchase 577 houses in Buffalo. And that's based on the math that the median sold price of a home in Buffalo, New York is $180,000. Fucking cheap shit. 577 of them for Stefon Diggs. If he so pleases No. Two, he could get 65,408,805 wings from Bar Bill Tavern. I look this up. This is one of the premier Buffalo Wing stops in Buffalo.
65 million of them. If he just wanted to drop the bag and just eat wings for the rest of the time, he also could go on 4,118,811 Niagara Fall Tours on the Made of the Miss. I don't know if that's that alluring again. Haven't been in Buffalo. I do plan on visiting. Rest assured but just hopping on a boat and going to see falls closer than what you could from the shore.
I don't know the allure to that. Also he could buy 1.8% stake in Bill's ownership and as of 2021, the bills were valued at $5.7 billion. So if he just wants to reinvest everything in the ownership of this team to show that he is committed to being a bill, he could be a 1.8% year. Now on the field translating that same amount of money.
If he doesn't do any of those four options, which some of them sound very enticing. 65 million wings, come on. But on the field, if we break down what he's going to make per each stat line over the next four years, this is what it looks like. And this is taking his average from the two years he's already played in Buffalo and extrapolating them out to if he does that average for the next four years.
So for every target for every time Josh Allen drops back, he's like Stefon Diggs. We knew he didn't even have to catch it for every target he would make. $157,575.76 every time Josh Allen drops back and goes, Oh, Stefon Diggs throws it to him and he catches it, which it happens often. He'd make $226,086, and with every yard after he receives the ball and starts running up field for every yard that he gains as a receiver, $18,840 for a yard for three feet.
You go three feet, you make $18,000. And then these Josh Allen drops back. He's like, Oh, Stefon Diggs, he catches it. He gains yards and he scores a touchdown. Every touchdown that he would score for the next four years, providing he sticks with his average, which Buffalo fans. We hope that he doesn't go above that, but for the sake of the ease $2.8 million per touchdown, that's something to dance about.
So Stefon Diggs, he got paid. It's his money do with it as he pleases. But I have some suggestions for him. Just, you know, take a look. Let's take a look at this and staying in Buffalo land. So I've seen this come up on my feed multiple times and I did a little bit more digging into it. This is DJ from the Botched Pod podcast and the Buffalo app on Instagram and TikTok.
And as of today, and it's still going on. I don't know how long he's going to do this. I don't know if he's going to get to his goal today's day. 65 of shotgunning every day until Josh handles shotguns with me but he's taking a shotgun of a beer until Josh Allen comes out and it's like, I'll shotgun it with you as a franchise quarterback on one of the best teams in the league.
I don't know public image wise, if he would greenlight this, if he did it in private, that'd be cool. But then you know, this guy, AJ, he wouldn't be able to deliver on his promise. So he's going 65 days strong of shotgunning a beer. Let's see the let's see the actual motion here we one today found them randomly.
They stopped selling them. So these are probably old like just leftovers at a gas station had but I guess fuck you and I'm so there were 64 more of these to date on Buffalo ass and there will probably be more than 64 in the future but AJ I salute you that's that's putting it out for your team let's try and try to get noticed and showing that you are willing to sacrifice whatever it takes especially to if you wake up one day and just not feel like drinking you have to shotgun at least once.
So I salute you. Next week I will actually grab a beer or shotgun one for Mr. AJ and Josh Allen of course, try to get more traction there so this man can have a break of his insane commitment to the bills and to Josh Allen and then I have this clip. I'm just going to run it and then we'll talk about it here comes a little Josh and oh, so if you're listening, there is a guy and a girl just kind of roughhousing out on the lawn, the ladies wearing a Josh Allen shirt and the guy gets up and they're just kind of their tomfoolery.
They're just roughhousing, just having a good time and coming into frame is a little take with a little Josh Allen jersey on running out. This guy, this is either dad or his mom's boyfriend or just a guy. I don't know. There wasn't a whole lot of context, but then he runs up and the guy just puts his foot out and just gets a stiff foot.
It's not even a stiff arm. It's a stiff foot. So down goes little Josh, but he's a trooper. He'll be fine. What else do we got here? Take a look. Are recreational basketball leagues? Those are always really fun. Now, the one thing about it, there's generally pretty good competition depending on what league you're playing in. And you know, it's sport it's the common goal to try and win.
And sometimes and by sometimes, I mean a lot of times the rec league basketball or the the rec basketball league referees will get in the way, just like referees in any other sport. They make a call that you might not agree with and you have some words with them. If you're a fan, they're a little bit more colorful words than if you are a player.
But if you're a player, you're putting your hands up like, Oh, I can't do this. Like, and then they're like, I, I don't it's in the rules. I blew my whistle. So it is what it is. I am the judge, jury and executioner here on this year court 99.9999% of the time you move on with the game, you move on with your life.
Maybe after the game be like, Hey, ref, fuck you. That was a bullshit call. Thanks. You know, we lost the game. I just want you to know I'm really upset with you. And then again, that's it. You go about your life, but here at this rec league, wasn't I have the same encounter? Let's take a look at so whistle blows.
There's a group of people starting to go out to this referee confronting him and some words were said and the referees, I got time to go, then I'm done here. And so he starts running. And then these group of guys start taking shots. Refs got to defend himself. You can't call it technical with that because the game is over.
And now he's just getting swarmed and he's getting the shit kicked out of him.
He went to the other side of the court. It's one of those where it's a super wide court and they have two basketball courts that are just running together. He went to the complete other side where another game was being played and they are just beating the shit out of him. And then they run away like bitches like, all right, I've said my truth.
I've spread my fists. Now I'm going to leave the voice of the at the end of it, the person who took this video is up on the second level, looking down at the courts, watching the games or was watching the game so would you do that for it's like, yeah, why would you do that? It's just a ref, especially a rec league.
And it says here on the headline here, you get 30 stitches after that. And I think some of the comments in here was something like, you know, the program is barred from programing again in basketball. Yeah. But if it's rec league, there are a million more that you can join and you can beat the shit out of a ref.
Okay. So I talked about it for a few weeks, the goals and bracket and how magical it was in the March Madness men's basketball tournament. And, you know, Gonzaga lost. My bracket was in shambles. The tournament's finally over. Just quit covering Kansas. If you know where Kansas is, congratulations. Because, you know, they're the ones that won the big national championship.
So not much to cover there. But the women's tournament, I saw a few different clips from the the later stages of the tournament. With Snowbird and Kelsey Plume. And then they had a you know, I wasn't super. Is that super? Diana Taurasi? Anyway, WNBA players kind of doing the Peyton and Eli, what they did on Monday Night Football.
They just kind of were given commentary as the tournament was going on. And I believe this is Diana Taurasi makes a comment. So spoiler alert for the women. South Carolina, the Gamecocks ended up winning the national championship. And let's let's get a take from a long seasoned WNBA veteran on, you know, the Gamecocks success, the length of the Cox as long you can't help it The lowest hanging fruit is sometimes the sweetest.
And she she dropped that line. And that was probably in her head like, well, the Gamecocks are playing well. Time to have some fun with it. She drops her line. Some of the Cox is long and she looks over to her co-host. She's like, huh huh? Oh, you're like, we're on ESPN right now. Damn it, one of them, I don't know who this is at the top.
It's kind of blurry.
Oh, no, that is super. Okay, that was right. Those dinosaur. See that? That made the comment submerged just like who Oh, sorry. I was drinking. What did you say? And Kelsey Blooms is going like but. Yeah, I mean, when you're WNBA royalty, you can get away with, say, in just about anything. And we're seeing more of this. Again, this is ESPN, the Peyton in the eye thing.
Was ESPN. But actually getting the players to do more of a lose slayed like kick back, like, oh, yeah. We're kind of bullshitting, but we are also talking about the game. We know the game really well. But we also know how to crack jokes and we're not stiffs like Joe fucking Buck. And we can say, you know, whatever we want.
And she wasn't wrong. In saying that. You take that out of context since he's talking about a penis. No, it's women's basketball. There's no penises. So that was fun. Graduations to the Gamecocks for just laying it on all their opponents through the tournament and taking home the national championship let's get coaches strong coaches don't play the week this week's Country Strong those out all the way to Europe and it's Europe's strongest man so you best believe it's going to get country strong this is what this whole segment was made for is the strong guys.
Let's take a look oh, my God. These are man. These are absolute man. Okay, let's see and get this team get strong oh, here we go. Walking away over there. And they're picking up boulders and they're stacking them up on different tiers. There's two boulders, then there's three boulders. Do move to go pick them up. You could your strong lose your leg?
Huge, man. Yeah, get headed up this country. Stro Oh. Oh, those of a photo finish. And at the end, so the guy in the black ended up winning. Europe's country is the strongest, but the dude that decided not to wear a shirt and is an absolute shithouse of the man, right? It ends. They're both like fucking one. Yeah.
And they're. This is what competitions should be. Granted, there's no ref. You just picking up heavy boulders. You don't have a common enemy to get angry at, but they're elated for the success. Doesn't matter who won, they're like, fucking good job, sportsmanship, country, strong sportsmanship. And the dude who ended up losing the the shirtless man, he's picking them up, they're hugging, and now they're doing country strong hugs because they are just picked up million pound voters.
But in a where's your country? Strong this would you love to see I should try to train for this just so like the camaraderie of this sport is like doesn't matter if you win or lose all wanting to measure your country's strong culture strong. So that does it for the deep shot let's move on to scrub in some clips scrub my clip clip same as the news same as the sports.
If you come across anything that you want to share to be featured on this show, send it my way. We got a few. You heard user listeners submitted clips and this first one is a monkey with its penis out. And if we remember from a few weeks back, I started yakking because the baboon jerked off and started eating it.
And this one, this is this video is a little bit more tame. It's still on Instagram for that reference. They haven't decided to take it down yet. So I mean, it's just not just a penis. It's just the animal kingdom penis. It's out. But this monkey's laying on its back. And this other monkey is just given given the monkey a nice belly rub.
And guys, your you'll know about this women, you can't do it, but you might have experienced it. He's doing the dick flex. Excuse me.
Where it's just, you know, kind of just keep in blood in that region, getting a little belly rubbing. His his dick is just my mind. Well, that will remove my mind. Monkey dick just kind of bouncing. Same as the baboon splurge video. This video was submitted by Jeff. So, Jeff, your algorithm is full of monkey dicks. And now everybody knows next clip Mr. Potato Head.
And let me take a step back. Gender neutral potato head is a 20, 22. This kid sets the world record. 13 year old for assembling a potato head in less than 6 seconds. Let's take a look at this and we're checking our favorite food cart I'm at one year. Marks, get set. Go stop now.
When I think of, like, speed with, like, hand-eye coordination and dexterity, it's usually, you know, a Rubik's Cube in half a second or the the cup stacking Super quick. MS.. MS. Sorry. Potato Head. I know. I don't know. Like, that was quick write tell. You knew where every piece was going to go, but that didn't seem that fast.
Yeah, that's good. I'm going to run this back again. Yeah. And see, like, I almost feel like I want to try this. I want to take this on and see, you know, how difficult it is. I don't have a reference is kind of the same or it's not the same thing. It's different. Like a Rubik's Cube. I don't even know where to start.
It's impressive that people can solve it in a week, let alone, you know, 1.7 seconds or whatever the current world record is. But a Mr. Fuck a potato head record on your marks. Get set, go like it's quick, but it's not like lightning fast. So I think, yeah, I think I'm going to order a potato head and see what all the hype is about and thought maybe I could be a world record holder.
I'll be like, the, the adults that go to baseball games and steal the ball away from the kids because their fathers didn't love them do the same thing to this 13 year old be like fuck you and your record. It's all about the man hands. Next clip. This is pretty much how whites interact when you're not familiar with them.
Any sort of eye contact here you know it's just a pressure lips together raise your eyebrows and kind of not just hey you don't have to say anything. And even in this video mugging a dude still just acknowledging your presence getting rid of the body same thing. So now as submitted by Austin I had one of these experiences not more than two days ago.
I pulled in on the driveway. The driveway is a thin road, so there's a little turn out. I was waiting. The weather was nice. The calm count in the air was low. So I had my windows down and down comes the neighbor who I don't know personally. So what happens in my brain this defaults to? Well, just be white.
Be what? How you know how to be. So I'm sitting there, he comes down, I look at him. It's one of those things every time, you know, it's just the courtesy when you're waiting for someone or if they've waited for you just to give them a little wave. And as he got closer I realize this window is down and I realized my window was down.
I was like, it would be kind of rude to roll up my window just to let you know I don't want to talk to you because we're neighbors, right? We share this general space. And so and I turn my radio down like, you know, everyone should when they pull up to their destination, they turn their radio down so they can hear to make the turn and see.
And yeah, he rolled up by I looked over, I went I didn't say a word and it was quiet. The only thing you could hear was the tires going over the road. And I was like, Okay, I'm gone. Next clip here. Let's take a look husband and son, the front so the innocence of a child is very pure.
This little bloke is on a leash. Somewhere in Europe. Maybe his dad is a country strongest man and he walks up to I don't know, a brown rusted box and someone has graffitied a penis, a pink penis, two sorts of balls, a shaft and the parents, I mean, they had their phone out, so either it's stage or they knew, you know, it was going to happen.
Or they think, oh, little Johnny tanks at the penis drawings I had found show would have a laugh show with the lads. And so they, they kind of ease up on his leash and they let him walk up to this rusty box and touch the penis drawing he traces how he saw what he saw a short notice shape on how familiar with the shape.
What is this is how our Mm headphones are so and so and then the leash kind of tightens again. But he does have found Oh. Wearing headphones. I saw headphones on the street. I love headphones so much. I can't wait to play with my headphones. Yeah. Innocence is pure. Next clip we have here. This one has gone pretty viral.
I'd be somewhat surprised if you haven't seen it yet, but this is someone getting a procedure medically laying down on the chair, and the doctor is putting his hand up like this to try and I'll just play it and show you try and receive a syringe, and the patient that's sitting there thinks, Oh, this gestures on my heart.
You're operating on me, and I want to show you my support. And the doctor kind of smacks the hand away and it's like, No, bitch, I'm trying to grab this. I was at the dentist last week and I got a new tooth installed finally, and sitting in the chair. This was a fairly simple procedure. They literally just had the screw on the implant and I'm laying there not on nitrous.
It was super, you know, low stress just sitting there. They're screwing in. I will say quick side bar though, there was a cap. If you've ever been familiar with or know what a dental implant is and the process of that, they drill a a post like a titanium screw into your jaw, your bone grows around it. And as that's happening, you know, they want to close it off.
So they put a cap on it. And I had my cap for like four months, four and a half months as the bone was growing around my jaw and it got loose shortly after it first got put in. So then when I went in for my cleaning, I was like, hey, this shit's kind of loose. I could I could literally turn it in my mouth like screw.
And I was like, I left you, Lucy, ready to fuck. What what's direction for my mouth stuff? And so they tighten it back on and then the second procedure, not the one that I had to actually get the the new crown put on the one where they had to fit it and more that make sure the, the teeth were, you know, the, the right size and the color and all that stuff.
They took that cap off and because it was loose is my theory. Because it was loose early on there's stuff that got down there and just rotted. So I'm not exaggerating when I say that when they took that off and I went, I felt like Sponge Bob with the sun where he had that killer breath, just sun so as that this procedure, this last one and they took it off to put the the screw on and I could still smell it.
And it's I don't wish to smell on anyone, but I was laying there and I had already seen this video. And the doctor, the dentist reached his hand over to get something from his assistant. And I thought I was laying there and I was like, Oh, fuck, I've thought about it. I almost wanted to make the hearts meet, and if I was on nitrous, I probably would have those one of those things, too.
They had the giant suction. I and so even the smile like crack, a smile was a little uncomfortable, but I almost choked on my spit and started laughing. I was like, I could get away with this. I could make a little heart. But I didn't brush your teeth, wash your teeth, do all that stuff. Implants suck. Next clip to wipe up my bucket son.
Look out. My. Oh, my goodness me.
Oh, I'm gonna go to the cinema, to the oh. This is how you say Italian. No television. If you couldn't tell by the language. I wanted to point out this part in particular. Actually, before I do, I'm just going to continue. I'm going to play it a little bit more. And you got to know, this looks like Italian court TV, like a judge.
Judy. You're like a judge. Angelina and she's just like super animated, I would assume, because it's she's on TV. But a photo shoot down the balance before I or this is maybe like the Dr. Phil, the Dr. Philip. So mentally, they know she's just hot. But the one thing is, I don't know if it's all a bit I have no idea what they're saying, but the one thing that is not a bit in is true.
Authentic Italian, though, is the hands. Look at this part again. Show me the way The Matrix saw the match and use this here as I talk about the thing that I am so passionate about.
Viva Italian. The next clip so if you're listening, pretty easy to tell that we're dealing with bells here, but big bells like Notre Dame type bells up in the steeple or whatever the fuck it's called. And you have your your bell crew ringing four because it's fucking 11 a.m. or something. And so they're ringing it and this bell gets a little bit too belly start swinging upwards on its a little gimbal that it's on and instead of just going your typical ding dong, ding dong, it went up and bless this bell keeper, he holds onto the rope but then gets, gets set upwards.
Oh, go into heaven he also does when it's starting to swing he looks every kind of looks like this. Don Vito from Vive La Bam. If you remember that show he looks over at, the one is like oh, bam. So the play the bell games. It's nice girls tell me. No, no, no. And so he looks over and he's like, oh, this is not great.
And the rope catches on the top of the bell and he just goes flying up and then disappears like his way kind of counterbalanced it. So he's standing at the top of the bell, and his weight is causing the bell to be, you know, like a 90 degree angle. When it's like normally sitting straight down, but we don't see this guy anymore.
I would assume he's still sitting there. And the other bell ringers, the bell keepers are still doing their bing bong, but then these guys are like, Oh, well, I mean, we fix the problem the bell's not swinging and doing 36 shows anymore. Okay, let's get on to the moist clip. This next clip is so moist. And this here we got this, this beetle and this beetle is going to oh, just spray a mist of something.
There's been a lot of come on this episode, but I did a little bit of due diligence and read into some of the replies on the tweet. So it's very sound as far as information. But these beetles, when threatened excrete this, like, boiling irritant to, like, try to get away. It's like birds, like, I'm going to eat you in this.
Beetles like fuck you, hot, hot abdomen juice and just shooting it. I wish I did a little bit more research now that I'm watching this again because how the fuck does a beetle just have, like a little boilermaker in its thorax, my lax, whatever the fuck it's called and is like shooting hot like you can see it's steaming because of probably the I don't know if it's a proper term, but the ejaculatory nature of the the expulsion of the fluid but then it starts steaming and it looks like chemical seems like it literally looks like the Breaking Bad theme music where it's showing all the chemicals and then the steam and crystal meth and all that
But now that is moist and it's like it's like if you've ever seen like an exhaust pipe of a car that like just came out of the wash and there's some water in there and so it's kicking it out. That's what this bill is doing. And that's why it was the moist clip in the Scrub My Clip segment.
So that's pretty much going to do it for this week. Thank you, everyone, for watching and listening, especially if you got to this point. You actually finish the show your you're my person. Thank you. I do want to give a shout out again to the executive producers of this episode and the all the episodes for the next 69 years.
A.J. Jo, Michael Davis, Quinn, Tyla and Reverend Tanner Mills, because they are a parade plus Infinity members That price to go up. But again, if you want to support the show, check out our limited dot com go to the pricing. $6.90 a month package range for a lot of people and it does help support the show. I do appreciate it but by no means expect you to do it.
Keep enjoying the free content. And last but not least we're going to do the end of the line by it as this parade comes to a close. We're going to take one of hundreds of soundbites that I have just sitting here on this app. Hurrah! Excuse me. That wasn't it. And that's going to do it. Sia next week.
My big mic. Thank these drum mic spanking to shine