Here's all the links that we discussed on this week's episode:
Lil Bit'a News
-There are 5 fewer Doritos per bag now thanks to inflation
-Florida man calls 911, requests for meth to be tested for authenticity, police say
-Gun-stealing, hot dog-eating, beer-swilling bandits chased from hunting cabin in Autauga
-Company Plans to Dig World's Deepest Hole to Unleash Boundless Energy
-There's A Petition To Launch A Vulva-Shaped Spaceship
The Deep Shot
-Ruthel to Mile High
-Mitchell Trubisky signs with Pittsburgh
-Formula E is racing with gas
-Country Strong: Big Boy Blade Runner
Scrub My Clip
-Follow up on the farts
-Bills Mafia approves
-Monkey see monkey cum
Oh, no. Okay. What's going on? Oh, I just lost the contact. Good. Because I need to be blind for the remainder of this.
It's this sway parade with sharks sway welcome into the Sway Parade. My name is Sharks Sway and thank you for everyone. Throughout these last two episodes, because the third episode, everyone that's been listening, been watching on YouTube and all that good stuff and get some great feedback to improve the show. And if you're new to this show, well, here's a little rundown of what it's about.
This is essentially a break from all the crazy stuff that goes on in the world in your daily lives if you check in Twitter. It's not fun stuff. So this is meant to be kind of loose, laid back fun, forget about life for a little bit. And it's it's just a fun time and I want to make it the funnest time possibly.
So welcome if you're brand new. There's a lot of things about this show. Sometimes it might seem a little overwhelming. Everything that's going on and what we have, but we're on social media. We have a discord server. We even have a hotline that you can call in 818275 Sway, leave a message and right off the bat, we're going to get to one of those calls.
And before I do, I want to let you know when you call this number and you leave your message. I don't listen to it. I don't screen it. It's just going to be played raw live reaction. So without further ado, let's play the first hot line voice mail. Oh, okay. Let's run it hey, I have this is inside him in danger.
And I got to say that you big fat is so bad that it's so good. I like the other day, you you play that video that that just adds to be to the basketball player. And we just have country jobs you see that? I could help you. Sure you are, Jack. You're strong yeah.
Well, thank you, anonymous caller for that message. And they are referring to last week's Country Strong. We got a really nice country strong play later on once we get into the deep shots. So again, that number 818275 sway leave a message like that as enthusiastic as that was. Thank you, caller. I also want to let everybody know that there is a $50 visa gift card up for grabs when you subscribe to the sway parade newsletter and sway unlimited dot com.
And I'll tell you why that is a delicious reward. So delicious reward indeed. Thank you Brian Silva. De la da da Silva I should say so. That's up for the running you subscribe. It's not spam by any means. It's going to be a once a month newsletter just letting you know, hey, this is what happened the last month, the last four episodes that you might have missed and being sure to check it out and listen on any platform that you use and YouTube as well.
If you want to watch it now, we'll say as well. When you watch on YouTube, the video segments of this show are blurred out like tasteful Japanese genitalia. How you get that on Blurred is by subscribing to some of the premium plans here at the show parade. Plus there is a bunch of different tiers. You can go on this way unlimited dot com and that's all listed if you have a little scratch to drop, definitely worth it.
And it helps the show so yeah, the big thing is just the support from you. This is what this opening is just going over. Is this the show is nothing without the listeners and the involvement I mentioned the discord, the landing point for this show, potential clips that are going to be played that don't all be shared there on that discord server.
And all of this information that I am talking about is available right now. Sway on limited dot com. So check it out and do with that as you will. And of course, if you do like the show, that's important is I want you to like it. If it's absolute crap, don't listen to it. If you don't like it, if you don't like the structure of my face, if you don't like the sound of my voice if you don't like the content that is created from this show, find something else.
But if you do like it, be sure to like subscribe do all that stuff because that helps with the algorithm and getting us ranked higher. But that's only part of it. What we do here every week is we get a little spiritual and we pray to the algorithm. The almighty algorithm you know, almighty algorithm. It's me again, Chuck asking, pleading to your grace and might do.
You may find us a spot near the top so that more people may enjoy this parade of fun and festive though almighty algorithm. Your power is vast, your sorting is absolute. And I just ask you a simple consideration from a simple man, your grace. Amen. Oh, and now that we got that out of the way, hopefully our prayers are heard.
Let's get into some news. What's the big deal, fella? It's just a little bad news.
First story, very important. It's why it's at the top there. Five fewer Doritos per bag now, thanks to inflation. A moment of silence for that. Here's what Frito-Lay had to say. We took just a little bit out of the bag so we could give you the same price and you can keep enjoying your chips. This is just passing it on to the consumer of Tasty Doritos and all of the Frito-lay's products.
You'll also get fewer brushes out of a tube of Crest 3D, white, radiant mint. That's not a sponsor. That was what was in the article. 28 fewer crackers out of a box of family size, original Wheat Thins and several fewer sips out of your bottle of Gatorade as companies try to pass higher supply prices on to consumers with sneaky downsizing and repackaging.
That's dirty because everybody knows when they get a bag, they're paying for the air. Mostly they open it up and there's just little crumbs for you to just go out among yourselves. Hunger is a very real thing in the world. And Frito-lay's like, Yeah, figure it out. That's on you, bud. And I was actually thinking about this the other day because April of 20, 20, I did a rice challenge for anyone that remembers 30 days straight.
The entire month of April, I ate a bowl of rice, the multiple bowls of rice a day. That was my only diet. And just going back super quick on that, wanting to thank everyone who donated to the Go Fund Me, all those funds went to Feeding America and this story suggests that I've done more to help hunger than Frito-Lay.
I it was like a thousand bucks and you do the math that is now less chips that these hungry people received of Doritos or Cheetos or Fritos are those because of inflation? It's killing us. It's absolutely killing us. So yeah, just be mindful that you're buying more air and I think that that merits a call to the local authorities, the Better Business Bureau, all of the entities that try to make life enjoyable for us, and especially this next story for different reasons.
Florida man recurring theme. It's in Florida, a big surprise. This is the third week that we've done a Florida story and it's not going to be the last. I'll tell you that Florida man calls 911 requests for meth to be tested for authenticity. Police say police in Florida arrested a man after they say he called nine men one and requested them to test his map.
Deputies of the Hernando County Sheriff's Office were dispatched to a home in Springhill, Florida, after a resident called 911 to request that a deputy come and test the methamphetamine that he bought. This is it's meth brain for sure, but it's smart thinking. Where else are you going to find a reputable methamphetamine test? The police, they'll be on that idea.
That wasn't really considered here because if it test positive, you're going down. What else we got here? When deputies arrived, they met with 41 year old Thomas Colucci, by police said Colucci told the deputies he had purchased meth for a man he met at a local bar and believed it was actually bath salts. After using it. The substance did not provide the sensation Colucci was expecting, which is why he called 911.
I mean, I've never bought meth before, but I feel like a local bar is a good place to start. And you just you're you're taken you're taking the risk. They're okay, Colucci told the deputies he wanted his meth tested because he did not want other people to purchase fake meth from the man who sold it to him, the sheriff's office said, adding that he wanted deputies to put the person in trouble after selling dangerous drugs.
So he thinks that he's being a stand up citizen. Like, Hey, there's something wrong with my meth, and I want the parties involved. I want proper justice. K I smoked it and it didn't feel like me. And I know what meth feels like. And this is not meth. The cops are probably like, Okay, let's just test the right here and put a little in the little baggie and wait for it to turn blue.
Oh, yeah. No, this is meth. You're going to jail. So yeah. Colucci Not a smart guy. It's not smart to smoke meth. It's really not smart to call the police and have them confirm that it is meth. I'll say to all of these links that I'm going over these articles that is all available on the show link portion of the website.
I just breakdown of the entire episode. And if you want to read these for yourselves, I'm not making this up. I'm trying to be as journalistic as possible and hold that integrity. So it's all there. Check it out. Swim limited, dot com. Next story. We're staying in the South. We're moving away from Florida a little bit. We're going up to Alabama Road.
Dad, this is the headline, by the way, and I'm going to speak it in Alabamian Gun Steele in hot dog eating beer swilling bayonets, chased from a hunting cabin in our Targa. The Target County Sheriff's Office is investigating a weird weeks long burglary, burglary and theft case where at least two men apparently took up on again, let me go back to this apparently took up on again.
Off again. There you go. That comma threw me off residence in a rural hunting lodge, drinking beer, eating hot dogs and stealing guns. The owner lives in another county and became suspicious when he noticed a few things out of the ordinary occurring during the past several weeks. He said he had noticed in the past weeks unusual things such as all the beer gone out of one refrigerator.
Hmm. That's a real head scratcher. When you go to your cabin, you're like, I swear I left more beer than none. Huh? Something is lucky, I would say. Surveillance cameras placed inside the large lodge building. That's I don't know if I'm just stumbling over words today, and it's just one of those weird days or this is written poorly check it out on so I limited I come the links going to be there.
Surveillance cameras placed inside the large lodge building caught images of two men lounging on a furniture and eating hot dogs. Oh, if you catch one, then there's a nice spot down by the river. Nice cabin with beer and hot dogs would you go in squat for a little bit?
There's no additional information as to what's happened to these guns stealing, hot dog eating beer, swollen bandits. And I like to have the article mostly just points to, well, the beer was gone then we had guns that were stolen from the story. I believe it was a 22 that was stolen. And then the owner arrived at the property and saw these assailants ducking out the back and fired a warning shot.
Well, based on you are Tawargha resident, hopefully you can get your cabin back in in good works and get your beer restocked and maybe install a lock. Next story. Company plans to dig world's deepest hole to enlist Boundless Energy, a company that plans to drill deeper into the earth and ever before, creating holes that would extend a record shattering 12 miles under our planet's surface.
Geothermal energy is a low profile compared to other renewable energy sources such as solar, wind and hydro. But Quasar Company that's trying to dig deep believes it is, quote, at the core of an energy independent world. And the PR team probably creamed themselves when they came up with that one. Quasar intends to pioneer this technology using vacuum tubes known as Guyra Trance It's a made up word that shoot millimeter wave light beams powered by electrons and a strong magnetic field.
Using these devices, the company plans to burn almost twice as far into the earth as the deepest holes ever made. This just seems like a startup that was birthed on just a high idea, blunt getting passed around, hit it like did What if we just dig really deep, man? With these big things? There'll be things this guy would try and do just shoot light into the earth because the sun.
The sun delivers light to the surface. But the underground ground never sees anything. Why do you think moles eyes are so small? Because you don't get enough light. So if we go deep, deep, deep it's all magma and hot and really just a lot of energy down there. We could harness it and sell it. We're green, man. We're going underneath the green to get green.
What do you say The company, Quasar, has already raised $63 million in seed funding. That'll be really interesting if that goes through just drilling holes, just getting down in the dirt and drilling But the next story, which is the wild one at the end of this segment, asks us to not look downward at the Earth, but upward towards the stars.
And also wherever the almighty algorithm is doing its sorting. Let's check this one out. Now, he used to look up in the sky and wonder at our place in the stars, I just look down and worry about our place and our idea that some wild needs there's a petition to launch a vulva shaped spacecraft a German feminist group were bunked feminists myths.
I of course I'm not German I do not know this language which translates to who needs feminism has created a distinctly Volvo spaceship and here's the best bit. It's said to be more convenient for space travel than its traditional phallic counterpart. If we all remember last year, bunch of cock Scott launched into space by a bunch of rich dudes and everyone was making the comment That's a dick going up in the space.
So this company and this group was like, We need more representation for our genitalia. Everyone's saying, that's a dick. We want people to be tweeting and talking about how a pussy is getting launched in to space. This is the video from that WB Aeronautics and what they're designing. Let's see here base B for everyone. And is a phallic shaped rocket really the best way of getting there?
We want to restore gender equality to the cosmos. So we've decided to revolutionize space travel forever. Introducing the vulva spaceship ride that pussy to the stars together with scientists and space engineers, we have developed the first spaceship shaped like female genital area tests and our wind tunnel have revealed that our unique vulva design is far more effective than traditional rockets.
The shape is surprisingly aerodynamic What a wild idea just to start with, because the big question is, hey, how do we leave Earth? How do we get into orbit? How do we travel to other planets? Interplanetary travel, interstellar travel, all of that in this company started with, Well, how do we do all that but make it look like a vagina?
Let's get to work. It's my top women, my team of top women. Figure it out. The thing looks really cool, though, the vulva rocket. But I mean, I don't know if this literally is rocket science, so I can't be like, well, it needs to be phallic shaped because that's the most aerodynamic to get out of the atmosphere.
The problem is to I guess the question is you only need to worry about air drag on the earth. So what is this? I mean, this looks a lot cooler than just a willy rocket in space and just going through and humming. Yeah, more power to them is the thing. I would love to go to space in a dick or pussy.
I don't care. I have no preference. I just think it'd be really neat either way. Someone has to if someone came to me and told me, All right, you choose this penis shaped one or this pussy shaped one, and that's. That's all the one or the other you got to pick. I'll be like, what? Do you have a coin flip a coin?
I don't care. Honestly, the pussy looks cooler. All right. That this episode of the Sway Parade is brought to you by supporting Float Goats Parade plus members every week on whatever plan you sign up for, you get a shout out. And this is the time of the show to do those shout outs. So big shout out to AJ and Joe.
They both signed up for the parade, plus Infinity membership whip that top tier. So here is one of their perks. And if you're interested in hearing your name on the air, as well as other perks that you could take advantage of, had to sway unlimited dot com, check it out to be a good time. All right. Let's get back to the show and some deep shot sports okay.
First, in the deep shot I was singing before I started, if I want to say the names because it is trademarked. But as small of a show as this is right now, I don't think it's that big a deal. Is there a bigger fish to fry when it comes to trademark infringement or incorrect usage? March Madness, the big dance is going on actually right now when I'm recording this, and we will have just finished the first round of 64 when this is coming out on Monday every year since 2011, I believe I have been filling out brackets.
A lot of people do. It's a lot of fun, especially if you really don't know much of what college basketball has been up until this point. And every year I get over confident that I have the golden bracket, which is my trademark But you can use it freely. I don't care because my golden bracket is kaput. It's fucked, it's so fucked.
I filled it out. I haven't watched a single lick of college basketball this season. I went off of previous interests in in teams and schools and then just thought, Oh, hey, this is a five seed versus a 12 seed. You know, those are usually upsets. And through the first round, the bracket is broken and the dream is dead.
It's not golden. It's the the first round of this tournament is always so fucking fun because there's just it's basketball constantly. You have teams that you think are going to be good based off of little blurbs that ESPN puts when when I filled out my bracket, that's what I was going off. I was like, oh yeah, they, they won twice against top 25 teams.
Sure, that'll be my pick. But the big one upsets that's always the sexiness of the first round and the big ones of the first round, which you rarely ever see is when you have your top one or top two seeds lose to those bottom 16 or 15 seeds. And that happened with St Peters beating Kentucky, a perennial long running tournament runner turn.
They're good. Okay. Kentucky's always present in the tournament, but not this year. Because Saint Peter's and it's always the names and the schools with the best mascots that do these upsets. St Peters University is the peacocks. Another crazy upset by a great team name is the Richmond Spiders. They ended up beating me pull here I got my my bracket that I didn't take into account.
They beat the five seed Iowa to advance so I posted a story, you know, all hyped about my golden bracket. I'm here to tell you now. It's fucked it's absolutely fucked.
But hopefully yours is doing well. I believe this was four or five years ago now. Warren Buffett came out was like, hey, if anyone fills out a perfect bracket, I'll give them $1 billion. But the statistical chances of doing that is damn near impossible. It's like 15 quadrillion to one to getting every single pick right and this morning I checked the after the first round, there's no more perfect brackets.
And this is ESPN's Are Yahoos, but they're gone. They're all gone. So now we just keep writing it. I did say that I would share my bracket in its entirety, but since it is so big, in fact, I'll just go with my Final Four, which now is down to my final three. Gonzaga, UCLA, they're still in it as when this is being recorded.
Illinois Bear nearly edged out their first round, and USC took a dump. So I have three out of my four or final four remaining and Gonzaga is my pick to win it all. I've picked Gonzaga a few years ago when they did win it. So that's basically all I have to hold on now. Moving on to the NFL, because as you can see, the Bills Mafia shirt, we have a few Josh Allen Shrine items a lot of moves going around the NFL and they're going to be covered here.
But the ones, not every single one, but I think the ones that are most important or at least most entertaining. But first off, huge blockbuster trade between the Seattle Seahawks and the Denver Broncos, Russell Wilson, there's no longer a quarterback in Seattle. He is now going to be quarterbacking the Denver Broncos. And this this was big. And everyone here in Seattle and fans of the Seahawks they pretty much knew it was coming.
They didn't know how it was all going to shake out. But he checked the little box on his contract to be like, I don't want to be not traded no more. Send me off. So he's gone. And next season will be the first season in ten years that the Seahawks do not have Russell Wilson at the helm. Maybe we should check on Matt Flynn.
See that there's an old name digging up. That's who he beat out his rookie year to become the starter. And then a year later, two years later, he won the Super Bowl. He's had a pretty interesting run here at Seattle on and off the field. We can remember that he won the big game, the Super Bowl against the Broncos.
Coincidentally enough, even in the wake of Golden Tate allegedly having sex with his now ex-wife but then after that, he married Cierra and that was the birth of the future curse. We'll see if that curse is transferable with this trade, see if it follows him in Denver, because now that he's in the AFC, that entire conference is absolutely stacked with talent.
There's going to be a lot of good teams. As a Seattle fan, a long time being local. I wish rough all the best, but I'm not really expecting the Seahawks to do much of anything in the next couple of years, which is why. And if you're a Seahawks fan, I open this up to you. Bills Mafia is open enrollment right now.
You have Josh Allen and that entirely stacked team going up against Russell Wilson and his Broncos new Broncos now. So give a give Josh Allen in the Bills. Look, they're going to be a good team for a while. Seahawks not so much another move in this NFL offseason is coincidentally enough Bills backup quarterback Mitchell Trubisky signing with Pittsburgh.
Josh Allen's backup joins a quarterbacks room that includes longtime Pittsburgh backup Mason Rudolph. The team is also expected to bring back Dwayne Haskins, who served as Pittsburgh's third quarterback. Last season. So we get a rundown of all of these players and try to determine who's going to be the starter come the beginning of the regular season. Well, Mason Rudolph, if we remember had a helmet, swung at him after an exchange of alleged profanities that whites are not allowed to say towards Myles Garrett and he got in the got fucked up.
You can look it up. I don't have it prepped here, but Mason Rudolph got fucked up with a helmet and deservingly so maybe. And then there's Dwayne Haskins. He got released from his previous team, the Washington, whatever their new name is, I'm just going to call them The Washington Team. Now, they're not the commanders or the admirals. They're just the Washingtons.
You can't call him by the previous name because that's insensitive. So they're just the Washingtons. He got cut from them. For taking selfies with fans when he should have been on the field, taking a knee to win the game. So just a little immature, rough spot to be if you're a quarterback. On the sidelines when you are supposed to be out on the field.
And then their newest edition, Mitchell Trubisky, he bask in the glory of Josh Allen for a year as a backup, probably learned a thing or two. And he is the first winner of the NVP, the Nickelodeon Valuable Player. That's his biggest claim to fame. And I think that is what is going to boost him towards the top of that depth chart.
So I think the choice is obvious. Go with NVP, Mitchell Trubisky, Pittsburgh. Okay. Next on the movements around the NFL, Raiders cut NFL's first actively gay active player. And this is Carl Nassib. He came out a year ago, told everyone he was gay I don't have the sound byte here directly in front of me, but came out. It was big news.
Obviously, the NFL is very physical and a lot of butt taps with going to the sideline and out on the field, but not a lot of gay. So Carl Massive was kind of a trailblazer in that regard. And Raiders owner Mark Davis said after Carl Nassib came out last year, quote, It's 20, 21. All the more power to Carl doesn't change my opinion of him as a person or as a Raider.
And clearly he stuck to that because he looked at all the assets that he had and was just like, get rid of him. Like, yeah, but he's the first actively gay active player in the NFL. Like, I don't care. It's the value, isn't there? I don't care what he does off the field. So hopefully Carl Nasser finds a job and another team.
And the the big hope is that teams don't look at and be like, oh, he's gay. So yeah, we need to move forward. We need to move past that. NFL owners, you rich whites rich straight whites sign a gay player, you sell jerseys, it's San Francisco. If he goes to San Francisco or even Seattle, just typically gay or areas in the country, that'd be ideal.
Moving away from the NFL. Those are the big three acquisitions and drops that I thought to cover I want to talk a little bit about Formula E. It is electric formula racing and it's fucking cool. It's really cool. We have a clip here submitted by listener Taylor. Is Hyde Park in a fancy looking into the last corner of the right pipe?
I'll go to the inside the Kodak and then fuck off and that's an accident for Nick Heidfeld he has gone off the circuit. The two of them come together to the final corner, which means Lucas Degrassi. He's going to take victory in the FIA formula race here in Beijing. It's a wild sport and it's super cool that is electric cars and not gas cars because if you're using gas right now, that's irresponsible because it's like $12 a gallon.
So just to run down a formula, E Taylor, who submitted this clip, also set up a fantasy league that that we're in with a few buddies and it's super fun and it's really easy to watch the, the race, the entire race is 45 minutes plus one lap. You don't really see pit stops and you have a set amount of power.
You have your battery and you got your juice and once you run out of juice, that's it. The race is over for you and it comes down to it. During the broadcast there's the entire poll showing where everyone's at and also how much power they have. The other super cool thing about this sport, because it's electric, is what they do is they put special, they call them attack zones on the outside of Apex of turn.
So you have to strategically take a wider turn. And when you drive through that, you get a charge like a boost of power that you can then use to make your car faster than the rest of the field. Who is just on the regular juice? So I would say look into it. It's it's super fun. The season is still new.
Were three races in at the time. That this is being recorded and the next race is April 9th in Roma. So check that out. But I will warn you, if you're in the United States and don't have access to the international or the the British UK commentary, just know it's not going to be as fun because we saw on this clip a breakdown or just a quick sample rather of of what you get when you listen to the chaps who have been calling these races for the last eight or nine years going to the inside line and they contact and then fuck off and that's an accident.
Super enthusiastic, super fun makes it incredibly fun to watch. But if you're in the U.S. and you get the CBS broadcast, you don't get that. What you get is just commentators that drew the shortest straw that had to go to this game or this race and call it. And they're just like, oh, you know that all these cars are powered strictly by electricity.
And so there's a pass there and there's an attack zone that they can take to give them more power. And it's about equivalent to an additional 45 horsepower, but it's not gas, electricity. So just be warned, if you do want to check out Formula E, the commentary will be very disappointing to find that food for the UK. And it's it's a blast.
It's a fucking blast. Next here, this one was submitted by AJ, who's a parade plus Infiniti member. This is some bills prop hunt if you don't know it probably is a call of duty game mode where you have one team that is just regular players with their guns and then the other team is props and the props have to hide.
And the goal of the game is to as a prop survive for the entire time of the match. And the goal of the opposing team is to eliminate all the prop. So that was fundamental. A cool little bit of insider to what may be the equipment room in Buffalo looks like all the neat branded stuff as a Josh Allen hurdle.
Is that just like a little fathead thing or is that where they do training? They try to jump as high as Josh Allen? No, but thanks AJ for some in that one though, it's fun and now it's time to get a little country strong Just don't play the week. All right. Check out this country show clip right here.
This here is out of skate park. And go on, Flip. Oh, my goodness. How did those wheels hold on to that? My oh, that is impressive list. You got some air and he's let's get audio in here. Have his post flip comment I like it. But this is what the peak male athletic form looks like and there ain't a fucking thing you can do about it.
You bet. Your bottom dollar that country's strong country. Strong. Fly on the air. Crazy. Okay, that's it for the deep shot. Let's move on to scrub in some clips scrub my clip. Clip if you've noticed the theme of listener and viewer submissions, I encourage you to send any cool clips, sports or just general to me on social media at Chung underscore sway or join the sway parade discord and drop in there.
There's a channel for it. First off, last week we covered the jar farts that were being sold by the eagle. I did a little bit more digging and found out that I I'm not doing something right. I'm not doing most things right with my life because that eagle amaranth makes $1.3 million a month selling her farts, doing a bathtub or not bathtub.
The kiddy pool twitch streams Just being a sex worker in today's modern era. And so I did a little bit of deeper digging and I found her website where she sells these charred farts and bathwater. So I stumbled over that because she sells that as well. This is cute. Patootie is sent by Amaranth. And if we just take a look at this website really quick, I want to click and buy.
Oh, my God. So how this makes me feel good as far as what I'm offering for Parade Plus Access, I know that I don't have haters like that to sell my services and entertainment, but I mean, $69 for full tilt access is pretty good if you want a little vial of bathwater. She wants $100 for it. And if you want a jar of her farts is $1,000 for a jar of farts, which by the way, where's the certificate of authenticity on that Do you even know it's coming from her?
She could outsource that. That's what I would do.
I'll tell you what, if you're interested, this probably will devalue the plans. But if you sign up for any parade plus plan in the next week, I will get you both a jar of my tub water and a jar of my FA or either or. I will ship it to you, and it's yours. You get as low as $6.90, undercutting my competition by a mile.
I did mention she's making $1.3 million from doing all this stuff. I did a little digging on her YouTube and this circles back to a nether person that was doing these kind of sexual streaming things and found that she does the ear fucking asthma as well. But instead of one of these weird ear microphones, she has two of them and I'm going to play this and just, just think while it's being played that this woman makes a very good living doing this What's really crazy to look at in the comments of this video is a lot of people are saying how relaxing it is.
It's like, yeah, they'd be pretty relaxing too, if this is what you're into and it makes you come. It's it's weird. I talked about it last week, too. I do have the gene that gives like that sensation with air. Some are those like lower sound frequencies but I don't get it on my deck. I get it from the back of my neck and it kind of makes me uncomfortable, but hey, if that's what you're into.
So I wanted to go over that show that, you know, people are doing less for a lot more. Okay. So so this next clip again, another one submitted by AJ, thank you very much for sharing the love This is Crusty Malone Post Malone. Now, I wish I was teething because I'd love to latch on to one of Uncle posts, Mountain Dew, others, and see what flavor comes out of this one spot last And this one's Code Red is coming up just now.
I don't know. Okay, cool. I could open it up. Yeah, it's a hawk in on post Malone. No, oh. I mean, even Post Malone wouldn't go as far as tattooing his own nips so he can dispense Mountain Dew Thanks for that submission, A.J. Oh, that's nice.
This next clip. Another listener submitted clip submitted by Eric. This is Bill's Mafia. Prove this almost ended up in the deep shot. But I figured scrub my clip is a little late this week, so let's check this out.
1000. This was an unintentional table slam. If you're listening this is a surfer not on the water, but over a moist mud patch coming down the hill and there is a folding table with one set of the legs down and the other up to make a makeshift ramp. And he's got a nice approach, but then, oh, he loses it right at the end, loses the balance and just takes his full force and just sends it into the table.
Like I said, Bill's mafia right there, right up that alley Oh. So thank you for that submission, Eric. And the last one in the Scrub my clip segment is the moist this and it's another listener slash viewer submission. And this one, even if I didn't blur out the videos on the regular free YouTube segment, this one would need to be big because of the subject matter.
Let's let's check it out. This next clip is so moist. This clip was submitted by Jeff and to be completely honest, I'm surprised that it is still posted on Facebook because of what it is. So I'm just going to run it as we're going out. Once again, we do a refresh. All right. Check this out.
Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh.
What's going on? Oh, my goodness. But I have I'm tearing. I watch. Just before I got put on for this week's show to see if it was worthy and I was like, that's fucked up and funny and all that. I think that it's just the lights and the cameras and everything here. I got I got queasy I'll run it again.
And then listeners, I'll tell you what's going on.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, I throw up. Oh, literally gagging Oh, no. Okay. What's going on? Oh, I just lost the contact. Good. Because I need to be blind for the remainder of this. Holy shit. So this is a primate. I think it's a baboon sitting on. It's one of those, like, drive thru safaris.
Oh, yeah. It's sitting on the passenger side mirror, rearview mirror, and it's having himself a little wank, and so he's tugging on his baboon deck and get to the point of completion. Oh. Oh, God. Oh, I was going to say thank you, Jeff, for submitting this, but at this point. Oh, shit. Hi. Tugging on this maybe it's a baboon butt tugging on the baboon deck, and it starts to release its baboon seed and instead of just letting it go down the shaft in the hands and just, you know, let gravity take its course, it leans over and it starts consuming his own nut Oh, God.
Oh, try not to puke.
Ow! Ow! It just pulls the head close to him, and it's like lollipop cream. Oh, oh. I figure it's getting B as there's extra on his hand, and he just so fucking could. Oh, God. Oh, my God. You got this on my. Wow. And then he wipes it on the windshield like you witnessed that you'll never forget. The stain may wash off, but the stain in your mind will never wash off from this that's going to fall off and then he drops his dick and starts to get up from the mirror.
And probably it's going to go on to the next car and do his little trick. Oh, fuck. Oh, that clip made a contact pop out, I should remind you. Oh, my God.
Blind in one eye. And that's not a bad thing. Oh, well said. It was giving me a moist clip, and it was that link if you want to watch it, it will be on sueh a limited outcome and the show links for this episode. And if you sign up for any parade plus membership, there'll be an entire video segment without the blurbs that you can watch and you can see that you watch it and have a good time.
Maybe if you wear contacts, they'll pop out too. Because the audacity of those visuals. Oh, okay. I need to read the, the rest of my notes here to get out of here. Pretty much closing out. I want to thank again one all of the submissions from the viewers and listeners, except I'm still on the fence about that one.
Jeff, I don't know if I want to thank you. I almost threw up and then, of course, a thank you to the parade plus members. We have Joe and AJ thank you for your support. Any and every dollar that comes to the show goes to benefit this show. Right now, there are some advertisements on that. That's where those funds are going is just to spread the word of the parade.
Also, though, I do want to mention since Joe and AJ are Parade plus Infinity members, they are an executive producer of this episode and of all future episodes for the next 69 years. So again, guys, thank you so much for your support. It means a ton. And again, we're plugging all the internals here. If you want your name slapped as an executive producer or just a shout out during the show, even without submitting anything Parade plus the plans underway on limited dot com.
Check it out and end the show. The end of the line. Bite the sound bite here we pull this up and it's pretty indicative of what parade plus is like It's really hard because I can't see anymore. I'm half blind Yeah. Okay, we're getting it out here. I got it. Sway parade plus the plan and sway on limited dot com.
Here's a sound by and I'll see you next week. Just know it's the tips bye