Here's all the links that were shown on this week's episode:
The Deep Shot
Lil Bit'a News
Scrub My Clip
What's going on? Your Mid-Autumn Festival. I need to know. I mean, holding off for two years.
They get told. Well, we have a very special surprise for you. We got a.
Stripper. That's what I'm talking about. Hurry up. Get over with it. Get here. Not get over with. Hangover. My time with this is going to be the last one thing that I do.
It's this Sway parade with Shaq. Sway, welcome into the Sway Parade.
My name is.
Chuck Sway and this is the.
Parade for brand new to the show. Thank you for joining. And if you're coming back time and time again, I thank you as well. But if you are new, you might be wondering what is a show all about? Well, it's a parade. It's a fun time. New sports clips, we cover it all on a very lighthearted and fun manner.
Now, I know we're only, I don't know, 15 seconds in or so if you're counting.
Me, if you.
Are wondering, well, what can I do to help out this show? Well, if you're watching on YouTube, hit that like hit that. Subscribe it's offerings to the almighty algorithm. Same thing. If you're listening on a podcast platform, leave a review. I'm not certainly five stars. I'm also not saying leave one star, just leave something again offerings to the almighty algorithm, which we will be praying to at the end of the program as a little bit of a sprinkle of a blessing to the show as we do every single week.
But let's move on. First off, if you don't know, there's a hotline that you can call and that number is hot. Hot, ready to dial 818275 sway 7929. If you're having trouble matching letters with numbers 8182757929, you call that number, you leave a message off the cuff because it's listened off the cuff. There's two callers this week, so say a benchmark of the show.
We've never had two callers before, so 28 episodes in and it's taken this long to get to callers. But hey, we got calls to listen to and I haven't screened them. I haven't looked anything about them. I'm just going to play them. You're going to hear them for the first time. I'm going to hear them for the first time.
And I'm going to react, see what the people have to say. Who called the hotline first caller? Let's take a listen.
So you think you can beat up only five, five year olds? How many ten year olds do you think you could beat up before they beat you up?
That's an excellent question. CALLER And this is in response to last week. We have the question of how many five year olds do I think I could beat up? CALLER said 25. I think I ended a 20. I think it was a it was a fair number based on my explanation. Now we're upping the stakes. Five year olds now become ten year olds.
How many could I take on? I mean, they're going to be older. They're going to be little smarter, a little quicker maybe. But here's the thing. Five year olds, to my experience, are pure balls of energy. Ten year olds, you're kind of rolling the dice. They're either super active, still have that energy, or they have found solace in the X-Box, the PlayStation, the couch, ultimately.
And they might have chunked up I mean, by ten years old, I was £150 and I was of the group that loved the couch and loved me some PlayStation two. So it adds a degree of difference in my thoughts compared to dealing with five year olds. How many ten year olds or the number for five year olds is 20?
Just break this down again. You're going to get a mixed bag. Some of these ten year olds are going to be scrappy. They know what to do, maybe even at that age. I mean, what grade are you in by the time you're ten? I think you're in third grade. At that point, there is a chance that some of these ten year olds will have had the experience of being in a real fight.
So I got to take that into account. But then the lazy ten year olds, they're almost not going to want to do it. For whatever reason. They feel threatened. They're like, We have to take on this almost 30 year old. And again, for whatever reason, let's go. But some of them are going to be hesitant. They're going to think, oh, can I just play Fortnite or Minecraft and just do it there?
It's a lot easier to push a button that is to move my body. I'll tell you what, if you're that ten year old, you're going have a long, hard life in front of you because you've got to get up, you've got to get active, you got to seek your dreams because they're not going to come to you. Minecraft and Fortnite could be fun.
So as I said, it's a mixed bag. I'm going to say five off the bat is easy. I'll take my chances. 50, 53, energetic, two lethargic, five easy, go up to ten. I'm going to struggle more because it's going to take more energy to best these ten year olds, one by one, five year olds, because they're smaller, I could maybe use their weight against them and toss them.
Ten year olds are going to be a little bit bigger. I'm going to exert more energy. So ten is going to be my sweat mark where it's going to start to be difficult that if you can here is a wolf that just for the reminder, I didn't even plan this. The dog just started barking. If it's a single wolf in the Octagon, I'll beat it.
Doesn't matter what age it is, but at ten, that's going to be my sweat point. I'm going to start to struggle. And I think a 15 I'm going to do five less ten year olds than I could with five year olds because they're going to be a greater challenge. But I accept the challenge. If you have a group of ten year olds that just need to expel some energy and go fight a grown man, and it's reluctantly all accept.
All right. Thank you caller for calling. There's one more in here. Let's see what we got.
Hey, if this is real, but I got a joke for you. I'm Dallas, by the way. Kind of. Kind of. I would say she used to make a fire escapes. Yeah. Pretty boring. I thought.
All right. Thank you. CALLER coming in with the zingers the jokes were kind of would do use to make a fire fish sticks are all right. Moving on. We're going to get in the meat and the potatoes of the show and we're going to start off with the sports and the deep shot. Go to strong.
Look at that big burly chop.
You get the rough. Was there a deep shot?
Okay, NFL, it's going to be the top story in the deep shot for a while because we are just a week two in the regular season. Before we get into a recap of some of the action throughout week two, there's becomes the do you want to go over that make up the proper sound here I think it's this one there we are.
So last week I think was the very last week that I will pick my pick comes right here while I record because it took 10 minutes and I know the people that have not they're not too akin to sports are like, get on with it. And I don't think that really serves the almighty algorithm the best that it can.
So my picks have already been made for week three, but I do want to give a rundown of give some props and also a little bit of incentive. So this the first time I'm revealing this, we're going into week three. If you're already part of the Pickens, fantastic. You don't need to do anything except keep picking them. Right.
If you have not joined, the pick comes yet. Super easy. You're watching on YouTube. Go down in the description. If you're listening on a podcast platform, go to the shownotes. There's a link there for the ESPN group. That's how you join the pick them the password. Josh is daddy 17 super easy to remember. The Buffalo Bills influence is very real here.
Josh is Daddy 17 is the password you join in. Now at the end of the season, there's going to be a $100 grand prize to whoever has the most picks, correct? Since we're already going into week three, chances are you won't be able to catch some people that are already in, but and this applies for everyone in the group as well.
For every week there will be a prize to the number one pick getter and that prize will coincide with what week it is. So week one, it's a dollar week to $2, week three or $3 and so on and so forth. So go ahead and join. You're not too late because you can still make some money. And if you play your cards right and make your picks right, you could potentially make more than $100.
Just get them right. Not that hard. So for this last week, week two, I want to give props to Mrs. Sway. She actually came out on top in the group 11 picks total 110 points. Now, as far as the money goes, sadly, we're married. So she's not going to get the $2. I'm not going to keep it in house.
I'm not going to shit where I eat. It's going to go out. Week three The pot is now added $3 for week three plus the two for week two. Because Mrs. Weight, you just don't get it. Sorry, but still nonetheless, Mrs. Sway, you know, three NFL players by name and the fact that you were able to go in there and pick more than everyone else, it's very impressive.
And you got the hot picks to the picks where no one else got them, right? Two out of three of them this week was Mrs. Sway. One. She picked the Jets over the Browns. Who would have thunk? It's the Jets. And she picked the Cowboys over the Bengals. No one else picked those. And my theory is, is that she's just going off of team names.
Maybe she likes the color, maybe she likes the mascot. But with this one, the Jets and the Cowboys picking them correctly. I mean, a couple of years ago, we went on a trip, we flew on a jet, we had a layover and connecting flight in Dallas also is where the Cowboys play or close by whatever works to make the picks.
Right. You're doing better than me because mine are dog shit. Also shout out to moles before holes only want to pick the jags over the colts. No one really expecting the Jags showing up and no one really expecting the Colts to be in this hard. Haven't won a game. They've kissed her sister and tied and they also lost the Jaguars and the cold picks.
Well, it goes to me.
I was the only one to pick the Bears over the Packers. That did not happen. Packers won handedly Sunday night, but also. Kid, can you pick the Titans over the bills? Yeah, that's rough. You always got to pick the bills, especially if you're part of the deep shot pick, which if you're not a part of it yet, you can join.
Like I said, Josh's daddy, 17. Follow those links and you can make some money or you end up like me and just go play with your heart because that's what life's all about. And be below 500 in the picks, the choices, yours. Okay, first story here in the deep shot. As most of us know, the royal hierarchy is changing.
The queen is dead. In comes the king and of course, news coverage is stupid with everything like.
Well, what do you think that the Queen is.
Going on interviewing everyone, citizens of the United Kingdom and beyond? But I found this. This was in Edinburg, Scotland. We have some Bills Mafia fans, so they're being us.
Well, well, how is life going to change with you now that the king is a king and the queen is no more.
In this couple? Here's like, well.
Actually, we don't give a.
Flying flub about the queen. Royalty is nothing. I know it's Scottish. I don't have a Scottish accent, so let's just pretend they're English.
But what we're really looking forward to is NFL season. Just start.
And if you're not familiar.
With the Buffalo Bills, what a a good team quite good a very good squad out there on the pitch. So we wore Buffalo Gear.
To pay homage to what we believe. The wife and I is the real king and that there's Josh Allen and right they are. Because that's totally what they said. Because the bills are on top. And if you're listening to this, the day it comes out on a Tuesday and you watch the Monday night matchup against the Titans, you will know that the bills ran rain on the Titans home opener out in Buffalo.
They look fantastic. Now, the really the biggest story that came out of this game was the days leading up to it, because the Orchard Park, Central and Frontier Central School districts in Buffalo gave all their students half days on Monday because the bills were playing. Now, if that isn't the most loyal fan base in all of football, Dare I say all of sports where they're like education, you know, you need to prepare for the bills and you need to get training on your bills.
Mafia game, these tables aren't going to smash themselves in. You got to start them when they're young. Now, just going back to the caller question super quick, if it had been how many ten year olds from Buffalo, do you think you could take on zero because they know what's up. Fuck school go bills. That's what I'm saying. Okay next here in the deep shot.
I do want to if I still have your attention, I want it to be made clear that the deep shot. Yes. Is an entire sports segment. But we're not getting into the stats, we're not getting into the matchups, we're not getting into any of that. We just find what's fun in sports. I share it with you. Hopefully you enjoy it even if you're not a huge sports fan.
Mrs. Sway. She's when it comes here. I know she doesn't care about sports, but I know she likes the show. But then again she kind of has to. So Mike Gesicki, given the name, he's white and he plays football sometimes he scores touchdowns and this touchdown that he scored, you know, you score a touchdown, you got to celebrate a little bit.
You're happy. You just gave your team points. You're changing the tide of the game, setting up your team to win. So you just let the swag take over and you celebrate a little bit. Well, Mike Gesicki, as I said, is white, and he pulls off the whitest gritty that we have seen to date. Now, this clip, I'm just going to show it to you and then we'll talk more about it.
Mike Gesicki goes the gritty and he just kind of scampers off the field. The elegance is not there a for effort for trying. But I'm thinking it's Mike Gesicki Gesicki never however you want to say it in Italian. If he has a confidence to pull that off, why can't I? So I'm thinking about it. I might try my own gritty having not practice it before, and we'll come back to this in a few weeks and do a side by side.
And the question will be who did it better a.k.a who did a worse a.k.a who did it whiter? Mike Mycoskie or yours truly? I do want to mention here as well, if you are watching or if you're listening, this clip in particular, and other clips that I feel like are going to get flagged for copyright, I blurt out because I don't want to win or ruffle feathers over there at YouTube and keep the channel in good standing.
But every single link to all the clips that are on the show, you can find them. Sway Ltd dot com slash blog episode, show notes, everything is there. They're all hyperlinked. You click on it, you can see it completely uncensored and some of the stuff gets uncensored. Uncensored for the fear of a copyright issue. And other stuff is just plain inappropriate for YouTube, but it's not inappropriate for the show.
So check that out if you're curious. Excuse me. Moving on, sports commentary. It's it's a it's a give and take. It's you really don't know what you're going to get until the game starts. And then you hear who is calling the game and they're like, okay, cool. They're great at what they do. Tony Romo, for example, or, oh my God, these people are fucking awful.
Why are they still talking on television while a game is being played a.k.a Joe Buck and Troy Aikman? But Mark Sanchez, if you don't know that name, it's he hasn't played in the league for a long time. He's the guy that's known for committing the butt fumble when he did play Look It Up on Your Own Time, he's kind of lived with that in infamy his whole career.
Everyone knows, Oh, Mark Sanchez, he's either the guy that fumbled off a butt or is a guy that was gobbling down glasses on the sideline during a game that they weren't winning. He was a Jets, so they did not win often. But I think Mark Sanchez has a calling in commentary for the NFL because he's he's not but fumble in this gig.
Here's a little excerpt of some of the plays that he was calling, which you didn't expect the bump from where to have this sort of articulation and metaphors out there during a live broadcast. But here we are. Let's take a listen.
And we Shelton's cleared up Fender Sasser. Then the teenager clears his search history on his Web browser. Holy smokes. Oh, what?
Clearing out defender faster than a teenagers clearing out their search history on a web browser. Now that is football to watch. So I'm really looking forward to Mark Sanchez and what he can do post NFL. And if he keeps bringing the singers like that, we will all but forget the butt fumble, the glitzy during the game, the the blunders of Mark Sanchez and his playing career.
He'll be known as the commentator God. Now staying on the topic and category of sports commentators. It's a tough job. I don't think many of us, if any of us has had to call something live as it was happening. Have all your thoughts arranged, organize, ready to come out of your mouth in a crisp and buttery fashion? I mean, even me, if you've been listening to the show for the last six months, you know that I love to stumble over my shit, and I don't think that's really going away.
But I'm not trying to get to the big leagues here. This was actually from the Monday night broadcast, the Buffalo Bills. We have a nice shot of Joshua Allen as he is getting warmed up. And just take a listen to this commentary.
Now, the big the big.
The big change is the commitment to running.
Sometimes when you fumble over your words, you got to recenter, you got to find where you actually need to be. I'm going to play one more time now.
The big now the big.
He's fumbled. He's got to recover. I mean, we're talking about football. If you fumble about enough, you're going to turn it over. You might lose the game. This is live TV. It's no. One but yourself and your co-hosts. So you got to reset. And what does he do? He goes just makes a little fart noise and just brings it back.
And then calls the rest of the game. I believe this was at the pregame game, hadn't started yet and for all intents and purposes called it a decent game. I mean, it's it's not Booger McFarland call on him anymore. So Monday Night Football I can't remember the dude's name know we're not here for facts and stats. We're here for laughs and and gags.
I don't know, but what a way to recover. Actually, we're not here for stats, and you know what I'm saying? All right. All right. Moving on to football of a different sort. I'm talking about football from down under. It's a different game. If you've ever watched it and you are more familiar with American football, you see whatever the fuck they are doing.
And just like I'll stick to the pigskin well the Australian rules football some some team, some fringe team, not even the national teams not even like the big ones. We're talking about the Bush League guys, some of them.
Are in a little bit of hot.
Water. They were captured on video engaging in wild public sex act at a bar.
And if you're thinking, is there a video to this? Yeah, there is. Just hold on. According to multiple reports, the footy competitors made a bet during a day of heavy drinking. Like I said, bush league. These aren't pros, maybe pro drinkers, and the bet required the loser to perform oral sex on the winner. Oh, well, shockingly, the man who lost the wager completed the sexual task in the middle of a bar while all patrons stunningly looked on, the footage went viral and reps for the Glen Waverley Football Club were outraged and said the guys would be disciplined.
The thing is how this is Bush League. The guy who got the sex act done on him might just have to just play soggy waffle or I don't know Australian rules football but cocky I don't know why I was going to be punished. Here's a quote. The individuals involved, along with the broader playing group, will both be disciplined and educated if need be counseled and the type of conduct expected by members of our club.
It's basically saying if you play for our team, you don't suck each other's dicks along with physical and emotional impact that has had on the families involved, club members, players and the wider community. So it's a physical and emotional impact of like did you hear the the local team, two guys were fooling around at a bar publicly. This cuts deep into our community like I don't know how we're going to recover from this.
There's a Reddit comment that said, Worth keeping in mind that these are some randoms at a local league. They're not professional. So it is confirmed by a Reddit commenter. These aren't the big leagues of Australian Rules football and this is the Bush League, as I said. Now for the video and this is a rip of a rip. It's a scream recording on a Twitter that is now being broadcast south that's been blurred out.
I mean, I'm on even I'd have to blur this out because you can hardly see anything. But let's take a look. So the reports were true. I guess the there was a bet and the loser paid his dues. And you can see in that video, the winner drops his trousers, exposes his Australian manhood, and the other guy's like, Oh, look, a glitzy I'm no Mark Sanchez, but still, this is a new level of promo sexuality.
I think that's a proper thing to call it, because I have engaged in multiple acts of bromance sexuality with my own bros, you know, the occasional butt grab, the coming in for a bro kiss, but then pulling back a little bit of chicken are even playing another form of chicken with I'm going to put my hand on your lap and I'm going to get closer and closer to your manhood and you're going to do the same.
And someone's going to pull out because they feel uncomfortable and it's like, I feel like I'm getting right up to your chicken giblets, then you pull out. But it's never gotten to a fact where it's like, Well, I'll just suck a dick because I lost a bet. It's like, No, bro, you want to go, bro? I will drop it out, bro.
You. You playing right now? There's no way you could suck my dick. No way. It's like, bet. Pull it out. All right, here you go. You see, guys? He's not going to jump. Dickheads is a guy.
And then bonds. Oh, God, he's like my dick. We're like, the.
Best friends ever now. So really I hate to use the the term, you know, guys will be guys because I mean it was at a bar. It's a little bit inappropriate, but a lot hilarious that they actually went through with it. Still, though, if you are getting real touchy feely with your brothers and you are out in a bar and you do lose a bet, just save it for when you're back at the apartment or whatever and be like, hey, remember, you lost the bet.
Time to suck it. It's us, it's all us bro's. We want to see you pay that debt. But then like someone just I mean, you imagine someone just sitting at the bar enjoying a pint. It's been a rough day for whatever reason. And they look over and there are these dudes that guys is putting another guy's dick in his mouth.
What the fuck? Take it.
Elsewhere. Yeah, well, seeing as how these are the the Bush League Reddit footballers, I don't know how they're going to be disciplined, nor do I really care because it's it's below us. Remember, it's down under in Australia. Moving on to the next story, doing a little bit of basketball, it's the NBA's in, it's off season, but they're still players being doing playing stuff, staying in the news, signings, tradings, whatever.
But this has to do with Dallas Mavericks forward Luka Doncic. He is currently in a legal battle with his mother. Yeah, a Dallas Mavericks basketball star, Luka Doncic, has gone up against the best in the game at his most recent opponent, maybe the most formidable his own mother. He's from Sylvania, so I'm going to butcher this name. Mirjam Porter.
Ben Last week, Dodgers filed a petition to cancel against a trademark of his name that is currently owned by his mom. According to court documents, he wants poder Ben Luka mommy to transfer ownership of Luka Doncic seven back to him. How did she get ownership of his trademark in the first place? Well, growing up as a basketball prodigy in Slovenia, Dodgers was playing the game in the elite level since he was 16.
And at that time, according to the court filings, he relied on his mother to provide assistance and guidance for his off court business opportunities. I mean, could you imagine you coming to any sort of level of fame and revere, whether it's sports, whether it's from talent, whatever it is, and then all of a sudden you're 16 years old, you're like, I.
Don't know what.
I want. All these guys wouldn't give me money where I do mommy.
And so Mama Dodgers, Potter Ben steps in. She's like, I'll take care of you, little baby. And then took over the trademark. And now Luka is grown. He's 21, 22. He's around there, and he's like, Mommy, remember that trademark you filed for me?
Can I have a pack, please?
And clearly the answer to that question from mom was, no, you're my kid, and now you're my meal ticket. Hmm. Good luck. And then he's like, Fine. I'm a fucking. I make NBA money now. I'ma sue your ass he relied on. I already read that the assistance included filing various applications for his trademark is sorry. This is going back to what his mommy helped him do.
He's 23. Oh, my God. If I had only read what I typed out. Look, a Dodgers 23 years old, still grown ass man signed a $215 million deal with the Mavs. Or, like I said, he's got NBA money and he wants full rights to all of his trademarks. Fair enough. That's him. Your own person. I don't know how they do it in Sylvania, but let Luka be Luka.
It's that simple. All righty. Now, the part of the deep shot that you arguably have all been more waiting for whom I got to see really restart is time for coaches down.
Who just don't play the week.
All righty. Bear with me for 1/2 while I get geared.
Up because anything coach strong without a coach strong cowboy.
Hat. And as I'm getting this set up.
Yeah I'd like to.
Remind everyone that I'm not chick's way. I'm actually country strong clad in every single week I have here on this year program and I'll show you clip that's country strong and one thing that you know after 28 episodes you would think one of us would have made some sort of mention as to a reference of the clip to introduce as a country strong player of the Week.
Well, it's really come to my attention that neither of us have. So if you do watch on YouTube, you'll notice that there's a football player, catches the ball, turns upfield, runs over and involved down. Well, spoiler alert, that guy is worth half of me. The other half is Chip. That's who that is. Country strong. And I hate to toot my own horn and be a egomaniac, but to my memory, that is the the first country strong.
And actually, I feel like I've told the story before. One of the players that the country strong phrase was actually invented when I was playing basketball I went up, I didn't got a rebound pretty good one you know box and outgoing grabbing the ball and one of my opponents on the team I landed down I passed ball out work still playing but one of the opponents that was trying to get the rebound I took it from as I see it he said that more country strong and it seems fitting so I just feel like there's.
A little bit of celebrity history for.
You, get you to understand, you know, the visuals, everything. Now, without further ado, let's check out his hundred drone clip. And here.
We're going, all the men on the desert.
Master trope going in a dove, doing the flip do. Who did in there? Whoa, whoa. Could you just flip it over seven foot on the gas and you could just.
Oh, that is poetry.
In motion with metal.
And all oil fluids.
In a drive or oh, my God, let's do it one more time. The Monterey truck does flip land on the front wheels. I mean, this is this is the massive vehicle.
This is larger than a pickup truck, larger than a semi truck. In the types.
Of motions that you see here.
Ain't nothing but country. STROH No, man, that was fun. All righty, let's get out of this persona. And when the hat comes off, we just kind of switch over. I mean, dare I say, it's kind of like we have split personalities. Probably not. I don't think a doctor could diagnosable when it comes to country strong. I think a doctor could diagnose up.
Okay. Moving on here. Let's check out the news.
What's the big deal, fellas? It's just a little bad news.
First story excuse me really doesn't line up for how improper that was, for how proper this story is. The royal beekeeper informs the Queen's bees that Her Majesty has died. The royal beekeeper, in an arcane tradition thought to date back centuries, has informed the hives kept and the grounds of Buckingham Palace and Clarence House of the Queen's Death.
So I guess they've been doing this forever. Every time a royal dies, they come up big.
Hello, bees. I've brought the news from the crown for you today. I know. Don't know how to read, but this news is important for you. Probably see you have a new later as to why and how you feel about it. You still should make honey because it's very delicious. But I just thought you should know the queen is no mo.
And we have a king now. He place.
This is the royal beekeeper.
Oh, he placed black.
Ribbons tied into bows on the hive home of tens of thousands of bees, royal bees, before informing them that their mistress has died and that a new master would be in charge. Now, as I just pretty much said word for word of what they probably said, he then urged the bees to be good to their new master himself, once famed for talking to plants, I'm learning more and more about the royal family with the passing of Queen Elizabeth, mainly because it's in the news.
I'm looking into it, but ultimately I really don't care. But it's neat that they're talking to bees. This strange ritual is underpinned by an old superstition to not tell them the change of owner would lead to the bees not producing honey, leaving the hive or even dying. So that superstition is correct. Those bees are buzzing around the. And then one bee flies into.
I hear the news we have a new the queen's dead or the king's whoever's dead.
And the recipes are like, Oh.
We were not informed by the royal beekeeper. What are we do now?
And the bees just come to consensus.
Well, I guess we all die. We stay. Show told us fuck your wank.
I don't know. Next story Nursing home hires a stripper to entertain their seniors.
The lyrics The Tao ee Tao.
One veterans home are given a government run facility of retired soldiers in Taiwan, compensated the adult performer for a sensual performance to commemorate the Mid-Autumn Festival. This is a significant celebration of the rice and wheat harvests in the season in Chinese culture, and there is a video of that. Let's watch a lot of veteran senior citizens just enjoy the little time that they have left.
And this as she's doing her dancing. Oh, yeah. Man's got a hands on it.
But there is others. Rio. I haven't had it in so long. Well, bring him here, sweetheart.
She lets him. She's getting paid. She's a stripper and a little kiss to you, and that's a clip. There are some senior citizens that are really into it, like the guy who was able to grab on those stripper potatoes, other others that are kind of clapping along. And then there are others that I don't think they really know where they are.
I was more into this story after receiving criticism. Moon Naturally. So the elderly Care Home issued a statement indicating that the, quote, events goal was to amuse and please the residents.
Well, well, I think they succeeded.
We sincerely regret the offense that it was committed or that was committed. That's another way of saying we're sorry that you have an issue, but you just imagine you're all this shit waiting to die and you haven't felt the touch of a woman and we paid for a stripper to come. So fuck you. It happened. Sorry, huh? A spokesperson for the elderly facility noted that the COVID outbreak had forced the nursing home to cancel Mid-Autumn Festival celebrations the previous two years.
So those in the nursing home that hung on there like, hey, just so you know, you know, you're getting up there. You know, there's no secret to that. There is a global pandemic kind of making its way around. And yeah, it turns out that it's like any other disease. If you're old and you get it, you'll probably die.
And then seniors get that message like, Oh, that's okay.
What about the Mid-Autumn Festival?
Like, Oh, sorry, that's canceled.
Dare me, give me the virus.
So the ones that just wrote it out made it through the the peak of COVID got out of it, and.
They're asking, What's going on your Mid-Autumn Festival? I need to know. I mean, holding off for two years.
They get told, well, we have a very special surprise for you. We got a.
Stripper. That's what I'm fucking talking about. Hurry up. Get over with it. Get it. Get it here. Not get over with. Ain't got much time. Well, this is going to be the last one thing that I do.
They did admit this is the the facility that the erotic dancers antics were very exuberant and fiery. Yeah. They promised to be more careful moving forward. Like, okay, like, we won't let the senior citizens touch the dancers. We're still going to bring them on if that appeases the public. I mean, these are the people that run this facility really care about old people because they're going above and beyond.
This, of course, is not the United States. But if this were to start happening in the United States, I think the rates for elder care would skyrocket up because everyone would want to be where the action is. There'd be Yelp reviews like, Where are we going to take Grandpa? It's like, Well, where do you want to go?
Grab is like Which one had the best tits.
And then, you know, it's an extra 500 bucks a month or whatever. So I mean, shout out to this care facility, the people that, you know, are doing the Lord's work of gently guiding these senior citizens into, you know, the end of their days, making it a little interesting. In an adjourning nursing home, they claimed there were also a more somber game of bingo in some karaoke.
So they they equalize it like. All righty, happy campers in this room. We're going to have an exotic dancer. And this one, we're going to play.
Some bingo and karaoke.
And because they're old people, someone misheard.
Like, I want to go to the toilet.
And then all of a sudden they're playing bingo and karaoke. They, you know, kind of know off and just.
They wake up where are the kids?
And they're like before, all right, who's ready for care?
I want kids.
It's like, oh, sorry, you're in the wrong room. Maybe next year or maybe not because you're really old. However, and here is again just trying to justify these types of actions by wearing face masks. During the central display, the residents and the dancer were able to stay COVID safe at all times. I mean, again, when I get up in age and I have to end up in a nursing home and I'm not planning on it, I want to be gone by like 55.
But if I decide to hang on for much longer and I have to go to a nursing home and I have to choose my words carefully because I know Mr. Sway listens to the show, I want to be in a home that's going to, you know, offer, you know, fun, fun activities. I'll just leave it at that. All right.
Let's check out the wild news. Oh, I did that. Some war.
I old news.
Young chess grandmaster denies anal beads are secret of his success. Let's dove into this. In the 1500 years since the dawn of chess, the ultimate test of cerebral fitness, countless champions have employed innumerable methods in the struggle to truly master the game of kings. But one top ranked U.S. chess star insists that as far as he is aware, a string of vibrating spheres up the rectum is not one of them.
So this guy, the chess master, is accused of putting anal beads up as Bambam to be better at chess. No, I'm not a fantastic chess player to the extent I know how to play the game. If you were to tell me the secret to get good of this game is to put anal beads up your butt. I'd be like, I think I'm going to look into a different game.
San Francisco born grandmaster Hans Neiman, 19 years old, pulled off a huge upset when he defeated the reigning world champ, Norway's Magnus Carlsen, who was 31. This was at the same Sinquefield Cink Field. I don't know. Chess, this is this article is way too smart for me as it is. It was at a Cup tournament in early September.
Speculation has grown online that Neiman, the alleged butt cheater, inserted wireless vibrating anal beads into his body before his victorious match. For those attempting to calculate how such a device could help achieve chess domination, the theory is that the remotely controlled amusement operates much like a wireless telegraph scam. Again, gambling's used to cheat so.
He doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo toot.
Sending a message. But instead of on the other end someone's got a telegram machine is write down the Morse code. They're feeling it. Oh, okay. We're feeling it in there. But someone is playing chess by vicariously through someone else's.
Savvy chess aficionados speculate that Neiman's was observing the match while using a computer chess program to determine the perfect moves. So it wasn't even a person on the other end. It was a computer, a innocent computer that just is programed to send commands, having no idea that it's allegedly sending commands into the player's bumper, feeding the strategies in Morse code.
So you have a telegram for your asshole. Neiman has vehemently denied using the beads or any kind of implant against Carlsen in the cup match. But according to the Daily Mail, he did admit to cheating during online game at age 12. Now take into account he is 19. So this was relatively not that long ago. One of his friends used an iPad loaded with a chess program that offered him genius countermoves while his opponent couldn't see what he was doing.
So his buddy, not a computer, used his iPad, a computer to show him how to do this one. Take put put the gesture. No, no, not the gesture. The rook, the pawn. I know the game. Not that well. Again, it's still all speculation if this is really what's going on. But cheaters will go to great lengths to achieve victory and whatever.
They're trying to cheat at. So, yeah, he might not have shoved beads up his butt to win a chess, but he also cut off all that. You sit on, literally sit on what you think is the truth. Okay, let's just take a moment and bask in the glory of capitalism. It's time for a dose of capitalism. Live by consumer die.
And part of the show where I want to give thanks to those who are supporting the show. That's right. Big old shout out to AJ, Joe, Michael Davis, Reverend Tanner, Mills, Quinn and Tyler. Your support has gone to help out the show in ways you can't even imagine now. If you're not one of those people that I just rounded off their names.
But you do want to help support monetarily put us way unlimited dot com slash pricing pick a plan that works for you every single cent aside from the transaction fees goes to helping the show and whatever that might be. At this point, it's making monetary offerings to the almighty algorithm to let people know, Hey, the parade is here, just please come and listen and work really hard on this.
So thank you again to all you. Fine, fine gentleman. And thank you.
In the future.
If you're thinking about supporting, you can also donate too. If you do want to do a monthly installment, you want to throw a penny, a dollar, $10. However, I'm not whatever you want to put, I won't stop you. There's also a donate link again sway unlimited dot com. Now the other one I want to plug have been plug in it for a few weeks now.
Amazon, it's the world's largest small business and who doesn't like to support small businesses. So what Amazon does, whether you're aware of it or not, so you watch a video you're interested in. I don't know. You're interested in what the best Buffalo Bills gear is for your desk because you are a raging Buffalo Bills fan that doesn't live in Buffalo, has never been but really enjoys watching the team now that they have been good.
And you watch a video and they say, hey, this helmet right here, this is the shirt you need to buy this. Check the link down in the description below to check it out. You click on that. It's an Amazon link. You're like, Okay, cool, this is Amazon. I'm going to put in my cart. I'm going to order it again.
Whether you know it or not, the person that referred you, it's a little bit of a kickback and they don't share any of it. And still to date, I haven't found anyone that's doing anything similar. I'm sharing the commissions, whatever you buy on Amazon using my Amazon store code, super easy. It's a little convoluted, but I'm going to break it down for you.
Go to the description on YouTube or go to the show notes on the whatever podcast app you're listening on. Click on that Amazon 5050, whatever the description says, you'll be taken to a regular Amazon store. Then you go and order whatever you want to order one time big purchase, little time recurring purchase you want serial. I think they sell Serial on Amazon.
You want to read up on your seller Serial and you want to get the sway parade some shine as well. Do that. What happens once that order goes through? Take a screenshot of what you ordered. Send it to me. Howdy at Sway Unlimited dot com h0wdy at slam ltd dot com and on my end I'll see. Hey, look, you have new referrals.
This person bought the Buffalo Bills helmet in a box of cereal and some rope. I don't know what you're buying on Amazon, but I see that cross-reference said it tells me, okay, you're going to make this much commission for this item. In this item and this item in most every other case, it's like, cool, I don't need to do anything.
When does a check clear? But for this I'm splitting a 5050. The commission is five bucks. You're getting $2.50 of it. Now does take some time for those Amazon payments to clear it's about 60 days after the purchases made me mainly so they can assure that whatever you bought you didn't return. But once that clears and it's on record that hey, you did use it using the Sway Parade Amazon store code.
I'm going to Venmo you, I'm going to PayPal you. I'm the cash app you. I'll write you a check, whatever you prefer. I'm sending you money. You're getting paid to shop on Amazon and we both benefit a win win 5050 so relationship you have the content creator, you have the listener, and with that it's all one big happy show.
Without you, it doesn't exist. Without me, it doesn't exist. Okay, tune this out. That's pretty much that dose of capitalism you got to remember to live by, consume and die. Moving on to our final segment of the show as I cut that out, because we're done trying to buy stuff, it's now back to trying to enjoy stuff. We have to scrub some clips, scrub my clip, some clips to go over here on this episode.
While we were around out the show. First off, we've all been in the subway, right? We've all ordered a 12 inch a foot long, as it's called. Whatever you get bread, meat, cheese, the fixings, whatever. You probably have wondered, is it actually 12 inches? But you most likely come in prepared. You just got to look at it. You know, I think that's 12 inches.
I don't know. Or you don't care. That's just the name of it. There have been studies done that in reality, a 12 inch is actually ten and three quarters whatever. But I think I have a new method for you to try. Next time you go get a subway footlong and to ensure that you're actually getting 12 inches of sub sandwich over.
Is that 12 inches?
So he asks, is that 12 inches? Well, he hasn't wrapped it up. You have the right of the register. Is that 12 inches? So what are you ordered? Here it is. I'm so he's rummaging for something. A pause on the frame. I actually think this one will be blurred on YouTube. I just don't. He won't take any chances.
Chances? Good. Good God. Rummaging through you think, okay, maybe a tape measure. That's the best way to quickly measure something. No shit. What the fuck? In 10 to 12 inch dildo. So, like, I brought my own measure you guys that are either never opened before or every time he goes to a subway, he brings the plastic for a fact, pulls it out.
Be like this 12 inches straight from the factory, gingerly sets the massive dildo next to a sandwich. And that's.
12. That's 12 inches. That's 12 inches, 12 inch foot long.
So it's like claiming it to the world and the audience, whatever. Like subway has 12 inches and I just proved it with this 12 inch dildo. Moving on and going back just for a second. As I said, I'm learning so much about the royal family. Didn't give a shit before. Still really don't give a shit. But they say you learn something new every single day and this was new to me.
I'm going to play it. Then we'll talk about it.
Three cheers for His Majesty back.
Hip, hip, hooray! Hip, hip, hooray! Hip, hip, hooray!
I just thought that they did that.
In the movies. I didn't actually think. And mind you, I am. No journalist. So I didn't do research to tell you when exactly this happened, why it is going down for the new king. But either way they go. Three cheers for His Majesty.
And everyone in their fancy fun little clothes and their poofy feathered hats all in unison.
Hooray! Hip, hip, hooray! Hip, hip. Oh, we had a king.
And then once it's all over, they quietly and properly put their caps back on. And now you can applaud. I just. If you knew that there could be a hip, hip, hooray and it was actually linked the royal family and the the the Kingdom of England, the United Kingdom, whatever. If you knew that a call in just to say hey, you're dumb shit, everyone knows that.
Can I get a hip, hip, hooray for your ignorance and stupidity. I'll hip, hip, hooray with you next clip.
So this is.
Someone I don't know where the affiliation lies as far as the church, as far as what teachings of what did they follow? I want to say most likely it's not the almighty algorithm, but that's the extent of what I can say. This lad is grabbing women at pool party, or at least this woman at a pool party and just giving old baptism in the in the resort pool.
She goes down, he brings her up. She's like kind of like winced over. She's got water up or no, she didn't do the plug where you go.
You're good to go now you're your soul is saved. So I don't think she was really expecting it. So then another lady runs over and kind of trips over, probably under the influence of alcohol and more of the devil's work and kind of grabs him. He's I would I would be next to I'd save my soul next. And she kind of puts her leg up.
The dude who's doing the resort baptisms is just a little bit surprised of like, oh, oh, okay. Like, you're really excited to be saved. Like, how much sin have you, son? And so the camera pulls away and comes back, and now that woman is fully in the pool, pretty much got body slammed by the Holy Spirit, like I'm speculating, probably a lot of sin.
Who knows? She's down, she's kicking, and she comes.
Up. Oh, I felt it. Oh, I saw Jesus.
And this, this dude in a collared shirt and a tie in a pool. Again, I really don't know. The context I'd love to learn more is just kind of walking away like, that's all I can save today. And the girl just is still coming to grips with that. She has been born again as a Christian or whatever. I don't know.
I just thought it was fun. If I saw baptisms going on at a hotel pool, this is like a kid. Evil to this is like, you know, shin deep, just enjoying drinks. You have your feet in the water, but no one's really swimming. And someone was walking around going through baptisms. Who wants to be saved?
Hip, hip, hooray.
I'll be like, I mean, I'm here. This is a sign right now. You get up there and be like, Can you do it for the almighty algorithm, please? I'm just I'm it's a project I'm working on just it would really help and I probably would get denied and get tossed in the pool like that. That one last. Okay, well, the power of Christ compels them.
Hopefully it compels you to check out this moist clip for this week.
This next clip. Hmm. Is so moist. Ooh.
And before I move on, going back to the footlong with the dildo, because it's still pretty moist. I do want to give a shout out to Jeff. Jeff did share it. If you find anything out there on the web, if it's news, if it's clips, or if it's sports for the deep shot, send it to me. Chuck underscore swae on Instagram, on Tik Tok on Twitter send it.
Give you $0.22 restart. Give you $0.02 of what you think about the clip or just say, Hey, this should go on the show and most likely I'm going to put it on and I'll give you credit, albeit this one was a little delayed. Sorry, Jeff, but thanks for sharing that one. And this one, the moist this clip is by compliments of Davis.
Let's take a look at some crocs. Oh, getting juicy. Yeah. So someone thought it was a good idea to take. First off, someone thought it was a good idea to buy Crocs. I'm not going to confirm nor deny that I am wearing Crocs right now. But it's not these kind. It's not the clogs. These are some easy, no pussy getters.
You get the slides and you can put your little charms in it to the actual crocs, the clog crocs. I'm sorry. I just. They're the worst piece of footwear fashion that has ever been made functional. Sure. Culturally relevant? Most definitely, but fucking terrible. And if you think differently that these are stylish, you're a fucking idiot. But either way, this person took the crocs and thought it was a good idea.
First to, you know, buy crocs, but to to fill their crocs of beans and put their white sock wearing feet through the crocs and push the beans out of the holes. Just yeah. Not their is super duper moist. Oh yeah. And then out to go about your day Davis thank you for sharing that one. That one most definitely is a moist one.
And lastly, as get out of here, another parade is all but in the books. We do have to pray to the almighty algorithm and if you're baptized in the teachings or if you're brand new, just learning about what it is doesn't really matter. Because again, I said at the top of the show, if you want to give an offering to the almighty algorithm, you don't have to go to church.
You don't have to give typical tithes unless you want to. But really what that almighty algorithm is craving is for you to leave a review, for you to like, for you to subscribe, subscribe, leave a comment, whatever it may be. The two callers from this week, I'm almost certain, came from the YouTube short that got posted of talking about beating up five year olds.
And there's some comments in there that were roasting my ass. And I read those and I'm like, Thank you, almighty algorithm, you have delivered, so leave it, engage with it, enjoy it, leave review, mind you, not leave it, keep listening because we're almost done. Bow your heads because we're going to pray, pray, pray to the Almighty algorithm, O Almighty algorithm.
Thank you for the blessings you have shown us. The fun clips engaging in hard hitting news and a deep shot segment after the bills absolutely blew out the Titans. It is only to you that we can thank where you provide us content, and it is my offering and our offering to provide you with engagement, to provide you with a reason to take the Sway Parade to another level.
The next level, your level. Amen. Oh, already. Well, that about does it for the show. Thank you so much for listening and watching. Why this going to be anything now? I just needed fart it out when I stumble. Thank you so much for listening and watching, especially if you've made it to the end. That means a great deal to the most high.
Right before we get out of here, I do want to give a final shout out to AJ, Joe, Michael Davis, Reverend Tanner, Mills, Quinn and Tyler. Thank you so much for your support. If you are interested supporting the show in a monetary fashion, you can sway unlimited dot.com slash pricing. But above all, leave a comment, leave a review, leave a subscription, leave it all because I am leaving you and I will see you next week.