Here's all the links that we discussed on this week's episode:
Lil Bit'a News
Scrub My Clip
The Deep Shot
I got a decent set of man boobs. Always have, but never the size where I could nap on them. I mean, I got to push them up, push them up kind of to a point. But even my big stupid head, I can't rest it on my tits and take a nap. But this woman can. It's this sway parade with shark sway.
Welcome into this Sway parade. My name is Shark Sway. And this is the parade. This is your first time joining. Welcome. If you're asking yourself, well, what is this show all about? Well, let me tell you, we cover news, we cover sports, and we cover clips from around the Web with a few other segments snuck in there as well.
It's bound to be a fun time. And before we go any further, I want to let everybody know that this week, this episode comes out, it's my birthday. Turning 29. And yes, I had to rehearse and memorize how old I was turning because I haven't been keeping track. But what you can do for me for my birthday and I will be eternally grateful is help out this show.
And how can you do that? Well, sharing it with your friends, loved ones and family members is key. If you enjoy what is in front of you in your eyes or in your ears and you think, Hey, buddy, Jacko, I don't know who your friends are. Might like this. Hey, check it out. And also, if you're listening, leave a review.
I'm not gonna say five stars leave how many stars you feel is appropriate. And if you're watching on YouTube, like it or dislike it, it doesn't matter. However you feel about this show. If you express your opinions either positive or negative, that is all offerings to the almighty algorithm, which we will be praying to at the tail end of the show, because we always have to give thanks to the almighty algorithm because they are the ones that decide where this this gets put out, who consumes it.
And you can help also if you want to check out smaller bits of the show, little clips and what have you couldn't follow me on the social media sites? Instagram and TikTok and Chuck underscore Sway. There's a Facebook page if you're still using that. And then on YouTube at Chuck Sway, I don't have enough subscribers yet, so I can't change the URL, but just search Chuck Sway on YouTube.
You're bound to find me. And so before we get the show started off with our main segment, I do want to remind everyone that there is a hotline, a number you can call, and it's a live voicemail. Ready to take your calls. 818275 Sway. If you're trying to assign letters to the numbers at 7929. Call that number. Leave any sort of message that you want.
It doesn't get screened until the episode is recorded. So we do have a caller this week. I have not listened to a lick of that message, so we're going to hear it for the first time together. So let's see what the caller had to say.
Yo, yo, yo, what's up? Um, so there's a popular there's a popular Internet thing out around right now. How many five year olds do you think you beat up? I'm not condoning beating a five year old, but I was just curious. Three five year olds, do you think you're beat up like the nineties kids versus today's. I just had kids.
How many more do you see your beat up? Thanks.
All right. Thank you. CALLER Excellent question. How many five year olds do I think I can beat up? It's a good question because hopefully none of us are put in a situation where there is an army of five year olds trying to attack you. But in that case, how long could you last? And he put in there nineties kids, which I am.
We're getting older, but we're still scrappy. We're not over the hill yet. Even though some of us might feel that way. And then we have these iPad generation kids that for the most part have been sitting in front of iPads, in front of phones as their pacifiers are five year olds as active today as they were back in the nineties and before?
It's a good question. It's a good thing to consider because we could be dealing with a gaggle of lethargic IC five year olds that might not have a whole lot of gas in the tank. But I think at that age, at five years old, youth is still a huge factor. My cousin has a five year old and he is bouncing off the walls and to imagine him paired with a seemingly unlimited amount of five year olds, picture a kindergarten class that does not end in an infinity room and you've got to fight your way through until you're done.
So what is my number? How many five year olds do I think I could take on before I run out of steam? Before I just give in and just engulf like a zombie swarm of five year olds? Ha. Let me think here. It's a good question. I'm going to break it down first. Your first five year old, I mean, obviously, you have strength them, you're with them, you have the advantage.
So one easy and done. Two, I mean, I think through ten, ten and then the sweat would start to be running. Also taking into account the psychological damage of, like I just asked, ten, five year olds, how much more can I do to this? I mean, think of the youth and the future. And I mean, that kid could have cured cancer if they would have live longer, but I mean, they shouldn't have attacked me.
So after ten, I'm going to be dealing with that after another five. I think, you know, people talk about, oh, like catch me in the ring. I could go five rounds, ten rounds against you. I mean, you even look at professional fighters, boxers and moms, what have you. I mean, they get gassed. They have two minute rounds. No time limit was set in this scenario.
So I'm just going to go with it. Is just until I'm done. So five more, 15. I think I'm starting to feel it. And if they keep coming, you know, if it's just ding, ding, ding every minute, another five year old gets summoned at 15, I'm going to start to struggle and I think I could make it to 20.
But then at that 20 mark, it's going to start getting real difficult. My time per five year old, that efficiency is going to go down and I think by 25 I will have bowed out because that's that's a lot of energy to just put down. And I think each five year old that's coming through is going to be as energetic because the last one, I'm going to be on reserves at that point in the twenties.
So I think I think 25 is my number, 25 five year olds and then I'm down for the count. Now the question was not how many wolves, because I would just be one and I would win. But I think the equivalent of one wolf in the Octagon is probably 25 five year olds. And then I would be done.
They'd just be little savages and just be bashing my face. And until I wasn't moving anymore, and then their moms would come pick them up from school or the equivalent of not from school, from beating me to death. And they definitely have something to talk about at the dinner table, while hopefully my memory would live on in this show.
And if that gets build it would be well documented in my my smack talk to these five year olds. So there's my number 25. Excellent question. CALLER Now, if you have a question similar to that or completely different, again, the number is still at the bottom of the screen. If you're watching on YouTube, if you're listening pen and paper or just remember, it's an easy number.
818275 Sway 79298182757929. Give it a call. I'd love to field your questions, your scenarios, your anecdotes, your longer stories, what have you. The hotline is wide open. All right. Let's move on to our first main segment, which is the news.
What's the big deal, fella? It's just a little bit news.
And probably the biggest story in the news this week, the queen of England, Queen Elizabeth, has died. She is no more. And for those outside of the United Kingdom or outside of the E network, people's Magazine, that are royally obsessed with the royal family, it's just kind of a headline to brush over and be like, Oh, okay, so what happens next?
Well, great question. There's someone else in line. They're going to take up the the head role of the United Kingdom. It's king. It's the king guy with the hands. I'm sure you've seen it. It's not what I'm here to talk about this week. When I am here to talk about is in the queen's passing that calls for national mourning in the United Kingdom and capitalism runs hard, thick and deep in the United Kingdom as it does here in the United States.
And so in a time like this, it's capitalists that are trying to capitalize on such an event, and these capitalists deal in the sale of illicit drugs because dealers are giving discounts in cocaine and ketamine in honor of the queen. I think that's what she would have wanted. Drug dealers are making Queen Elizabeth's the second to death by messaging customers with their condolences alongside specialty discounted products, including cocaine, weed and ketamine.
In a screenshot attached to a viral tweet, there's actually a few of these screenshots of text messages from the plugs. One seller sent out a mail shot text 13 minutes after the queen's death. They were waiting for it. She died at 96 and was announced last Thursday. And with that there was a list of drugs and accompanying prices, including an ounce of weed for £150 and £30 grams of ketamine.
Now, I don't typically dabble in the black market of illicit drugs, and I also don't typically dabble in the British sterling pound. Or is that a euro? I don't know. So these numbers and prices, I don't know if this is below market. I mean, 30, £30 for a gram of ketamine, a great deal maybe. They then told their customers that they were offering, quote, a queen's dead discount on anything.
Ask me for detail. So it's not just the weed, it's not just the ketamine. It's obviously cocaine there as well. Get a deal. Are you sad? Text me. Anything can be solved with drugs. Another dealer put the word out an hour after the queen's death. I mean, you've got to be first to market with things like this. They're a little short.
This was on WhatsApp and there was a gif of the queen doing the royal wave and the dealer told their followers, Are you upset or feeling down with the sad news about the Queen's death? Then don't hesitate to contact me. I'm around till 1 a.m. to get your drugs. And here we have some screenshots of what I just mentioned.
Here's one. There's the royal wave. Are you feeling down an upset? And then a follow up text in tribute to the queen, who was 96 years old at the time of her passing. I will reduce the price of one gram of Bolivian Flake to £96 tomorrow and Saturday, guys with the champagne glasses clinking together. Bolivian Flake not familiar with that street name, but a gram of it for £96 might be a good deal.
I don't know. Another screenshot here unfortunately yesterday was all shocked and saddened by the announcement of Her Majesty's death. We will all mourn the loss of the greatest monarch ever, the most loved, the most revered, the most respected Queen Elizabeth. The second rest in eternal peace, our queen heart, the United Kingdom flag and British pound dollar emoji. During this time of national mourning, we are still operating a full service.
Don't get your panties in a wad. We are still selling drugs even though she's gone. So please feel free to contact us. And then the last one, this one's a little bit more informal. Just crown emoji, crown emoji, crown emoji, crown emoji. Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. R.I.P. to our Liz. She's with Verdi now and all that. Got that king Charlie ready for you and I'm about all weekend mind blown emoji raffle take one for £40 two for £70 three £400.
Got some huge £80 bags as well. £80. The currency. I don't know how much a bag is. Lightning emoji. Lightning emoji. Lightning emoji leaves area 12 p.m. till late Harlem me so I mean take advantage of the market, see an opportunity and sell some drugs. I mean we're all out here grinding and trying to make a living legitimately or illegitimately.
And it is true during times of national sadness, whether it be the queen passing, whether it be a global pandemic, whether it be a recession, whatever is going on, if you're sad, the statistics show that drugs help so good on them for seeing the opportunity and getting out to their base and maybe expanding their base like it. I you've never lost a queen in your life.
I mean, she's been around for as she was 96. She took the throne at 25. Good chance. These customers, this is their first royal loss. How do you cope with it? Cocaine. We mean ketamine. Moving on to our next story. Restaurant Receives Backlash for insensitive 911 menu. Speaking of national tragedies, this last week was the 21st anniversary. Two 911 911 can now legally have a beer.
Seems like it was not that long ago, but here we are and again seeing an opportunity to make some money. A restaurant came out with a 911 themed menu. A country club in Virginia. Apologize on Facebook Tuesday after receiving backlash on a 911 special menu that included the Remember Teenie Flight 93 Reader hacked. Oh, that is. And Pentagon pie.
Yikes. And there is an image of the menu here. Patriot Day 2022. They build it at that seafood Sunday. Also, we we have the 2977 chowder, which was that a flight number? I can't remember the flight 93 redirect, though. Here we go. It's hot crab deck with crostini, crostini, croissant. I don't know. Ten bucks. So should have been 11.
Maybe. There's the first responders, flatbread, a crispy oven baked flatbread loaded with tenders, shrimp, fresh tomatoes, spinach, garlic and mozzarella. There's your pentagon pie. It's just chocolate soaked pie, but it's the pentagon pie. It would be, I think, appropriate, because none of this is. But it would be appropriate if the pie was actually baked in a Pentagon shape, then you can make that argument.
But given the picture, it does look like it was your standard square or not square circle pie. The freedom flounder 911 oysters. There's that remember teeny and then the never forget sampler you save $22 which is just 11 times to probably the sampler is a meal for 250 bucks and eats and drinks for two so good deal there two cups of the 2977 chowder.
A flight 93 redirect crab dip, first responder. I mean, you get everything on this menu and you never forget because that's that's all that was 9/11 and so.
Yikes to that one the clubhouse manager said in the Post My intention was to bring attention to that horrific day 21 years ago. And I was also trying to profit off of it. That's outside of the quote. But we know what you were saying. The manager continued to honor those, wanted to remember 21 years ago to honor those who lost so much as well as those who gave everything that day.
We will have a new theme tomorrow. So you're back pedaling, but the jig is up. We all know why you did that. And I mean, all press is good press. Right. And you only have a day to do this. And a lot of people are like, not cool, bad taste, but if the food's good, you could make that argument.
Be like, give me that, never forget sampler because I don't want to forget and neither does my belly. Okay. Rounding out the news segment, we have the wild news. Oh I did that some.
I wild news.
And before I read this headline there's never really a theme to these segments. If it's in the news, good chance it gets into the show and I want to put it out there. If you find some weird shit, some crazy news out there on the web, dammit to me, email it. The social handle and check underscore sway and email you want to click that hyperlink and highlight the stories.
Makes it easier for me to know what I'm going to talk about. Howdy at Sway Unlimited dot com. You can send that email to so the wild news for this week. Teenager hospitalized after USB Cable Gets Stuck Inside his penis. The incident which was first documented in a urology case report in Science Direct in November of 21. So we're nearing the one year anniversary of the USB cable stuck in the wiener.
Apparently saw a 15 year old arrive at the hospital as he had apparently been trying to use the cable to measure the inside of his penis. We've all been 15 for some of us. For a lot of us, probably our most horny time and curiosity is a bitch sometimes. I've never gone as far as thinking, hmm, I have my measurement on the outside, but I know that there's part of that pain that goes deeper into my body.
I want to see how long it is. I don't want to be a fiver. I can tell people I got eight inches technically from the bottom of the urethra, the inside most point I can run with that. I never did that, but I'd be lying to you if I said that. I never walk past the vacuum and thought, Oh, is that what a blowjob is like?
Never did it. Because I had some foresight and some common sense and thought, well, I could stick my dick in the vacuum house and turn it on. It's going to suck me 100%, but it could suck a little too hard and my entire dick could just rip off of my body. And then my five or eight I wasn't trying to measure, but my member would be zero because my dick would be ripped off of my body.
Well, let's read a little bit more about what happened to this curious 15 year old who decided to act on this experiment with his newly found manhood. The cable that he did stick inside became tangled and knotted while it was inside him, causing him to lose blood through his urine. So he went took this USB cable, got it up there.
And then they got knotted and he's like, I got to pee. And then he's pissing blood. In a report the doctors wrote, the two distal ports of the USB wire were found to be protruding from the external urethral metas, which I guess is a biologically technical term for your junk the meters. It's that meaty part of your manhood.
Your dick wilts in the middle part of the knotted wire remained within the urethra. So it's stuck in there. The patient was an otherwise fit and healthy adolescent with no history of mental health disorders. So they had to put that in the report. They said, mentally, he's there. But from a commonsense standpoint, this guy is a dumb ass.
Stuck a USB cable up his dick. The teenager who's from the UK. Oh man, I wish this happened more recently. It happened November 21. Queen Elizabeth was still kicking butt. I mean, if that's a part of your morning, like, I just I have to see how long my dick is. I feel like the queen would want that now.
She's gone. I got to do it for her. But it was. It was before that, so we can't make fun of that. He had been taken to the medical facility by his mother and confessed to the medical experts when she was out of the room that he had used a cable instead of a ruler as a means for sexual experimentation.
I mean, really, that's the easiest way to get out of this. Get a ruler, get a tape measure. It's something else that you can use as a measurement outside of your dick. But USB cable, I guess was the only thing lying around and got to the hospital. Probably killed over in pain, piss and blood. There's a blood stain on his crotch and they ask him what happened here?
He looks over at his mom. It's like I don't want her to hear. It is quite embarrassing. Remembers from the UK and so mumsy leaves the room and he tells the the medical staff, well, we see what happened, right? Usb-A in my wanker. I'm quite ashamed. In the report, the doctors explain the procedure as follows. And if you're watching on YouTube, I'm going to throw an image of the X-ray up right there.
You can see that little bulge is where the USB cable became tangled in his urethra. And so if you get a little squeamish with details of surgery, I guess just fast forward 30 seconds, it'll be over soon. Just like this kid getting ever moved a longitude, a longitudinal, penile or Pinus scrotal incision. I'm no doctor so I'm this the first time I'm reading these these terms a longitudinal penile scrotal incision above the palpable foreign body.
The USB was made and carefully dissection from undertaken and careful dissection was undertaken pardon me, through deeper tissue splitting the bulbous spongy gnosis, spongy ptosis muscle the deck just going to translate it for you. Both ends of the wire were pulled out successfully through the external urethral meter's. So they went in there, they made an incision, they saw it, they loosened it up and they pulled it out.
Thankfully, the young man recovered well from the surgery and was discharged shortly after. So if you're 15 years old, listen to the show. I'm not really my demographic, but hey, if you're thinking about it, don't do it. If you're older than 15 and you are thinking about it was a report said you might be suffering from some mental health issues.
Seek help, don't put a USB cable up your dick. Moving on, let's scrub some clips and scrub my clip. All right. It's time for a script. Script, clip, scrubbing strip club. And we got clips here. We're going to share them. Same thing goes with the news as it does with the clips. You find some weird shit, send them my way.
I will be sure to share it. And the first one we got is a follow up kind of this was a couple of weeks ago. It's sitting up with the camera, see right there on the top shelf, Vegemite caller called in. Hey, have you ever tried it? No, I have not. I'll try it. And I tried it. And I seem to have maybe started a trend.
The chance is extremely low because the next guy that tried it has a much bigger reach than I do. The Almighty algorithm loves this guy and I'm speaking about Hezbollah. We don't know who he is. He's the the shorter gentleman out of somewhere east that likes fighting and cars and doing crazy shit. He's been all over. I mean, you know who Hezbollah is and the boys down in Australia.
That's the group name of the channel. They know who he is as well. They're actually big fans. And so they brought him out. He was in town and they just kind of showed him the ways of being an Australian, which included Vegemite. And so they gave Hezbollah some Vegemite, had him try it. And Hizbullah is not a native English speaker.
So there are subtitles. If you are listening, I will read to you what he says.
Because you're nice and good. Yeah. Try it.
You know I don't like how it smells. He says they're getting a rise out of it. Give him a thumbs up. He throws it.
Together. Family run.
It is the worst smelling food. And I won't I won't agree with Hezbollah on that one. It smells salty, but it's not the worst little bit of an exaggeration I've ever had. The worst smelling food of ever had.
I just got to go. Oh, my God. Yeah.
That was in English. Oh, my God. So he didn't like it. He threw it, but still had a good time out there in Australia with the boys. I've actually been watching them a lot on YouTube. They're most famous for the the VR chat. They're in the green suits. Oh, God. I don't know if I can find the the sound bite.
I didn't prepare for this, but here I can. I can play this.
No, no, don't touch me. There. This is my. No, no square. No, no.
So they're famous for that. They're famous for a lot of things. Fantastic channel on YouTube. If you're not familiar with the boys, there's Molly, there's Josh is a narrator. There's Smash, Ali. There's a whole bunch of them. This is just my personal endorsement to check them out because it's some good content. Moving on here, scrub my clip. Get back to the show.
No sound on this one, but I'm going to move this over so you can see the beach can get a little wild sometimes in here we have all just throwing it down on the beach, all sandy, this nice woman has decided to give this man a beach dance he's laying down on his back in the sand. She's just kind of doing some gyrations and what have you.
And then she turns around and leaves the air. She gets enough air. She throws herself, heaves herself up into the air, does the splits, and just slams down on the dude's midsection and he pops up. I don't think his testicles are there anymore. I think they're completely ruptured because I said he's oh, god. So summer is coming to an end.
But if you want to get freaky on the beach, get a dance like that, get your balls smashed. Next clip. Everyone gets tired in the middle of the day. We're moving towards the Deep Shot segment, which is the sports big theme this week and moving forward for the next multiple weeks. As the NFL's back Sundays are now pretty much reserved for football.
And even with all the excitement of the season starting, I'm jumping ahead a little bit, but I'll real it back with the season starting, it's a lot of football to watch. Not I haven't really prepared for it. And so I went over to a buddy's house. We're hanging out for group, the boys watching football and by the time we got to the tail end of the second round of games, I was a little tired.
I wanted to take a nap, but I'm like this woman. I couldn't use my massive tits to just doze off because this is exactly what this woman is, that she has such large components. She sit on the bar, whether she is hammered or just tired, regular. She put her tits on top of the bar, made them nice pillows, which they are.
Nature's pillow tit is a great place to have a nap. She puts them down and just kind of dozes off on her titties. I got a decent set of man boobs always have, but never the size where I could nap on them. I mean, I got up here, push them up, push them up kind of to a point.
But even my big stupid head, I can't rest it on my tits and take a nap. But this woman can. I'm moving on to the next clip. There's a recurring theme in the show that has to do with animals, and I feel like I'm referencing it every week. I believe it's episode 14, right? We've almost done a full another 14 since this episode.
Episode 14 or so, Animal Kingdom. There's the survey of how many, what percentage of Americans think they could take on blank animal and hand-to-hand combat. The bottom one was a grizzly bear. It was like 6% of Americans or just morons and think they can take them. And since then there have been a lot of clips of bears or other predators higher up on that list, in clips to show, hey, 6%.
If you're part of that camp, you're fucking wrong. Wolves single wolf, though I'm dying on the hill. Any time it comes up, I'm letting you know I can take on a single wolf, but a single bear of any kind. Fuck, no. And this video just shows that I want.
To go get out of.
So. Ooh, that's a freeze frame right there. Some guys out on a river, on a boat trying to show off the the the cubs out on the shoreline, grizzly cubs and just, you know, hey, go on your way. We're going to go on our way. But bears don't speak English, so mama has something to say about it. And charges.
This is like a 1400 pound mother grizzly bear charges the boat. And fortunately or unfortunately, there's two sides of a coin here. The bear gets shot, but the people, well, they protected themselves for the animal lovers. Well, you shouldn't have been near the bear. I'm split right down the middle. If I have a gun and there's a bear in the bears attacking me, I'm going to shoot it.
But I'm also going to feel bad because it's like, hey, this was I don't live here. They do. I'm just here to hang out. And it's a good lesson to learn that, hey, just don't go to the woods. Just just leave it to them. I mean, they've lived there for tens of thousands of years. We're settled in to the the valleys, and we've made cities and, you know, places for humans, the outdoors, especially where there are grizzly bears or any sort of bear, not for humans.
So just stay out. So the bear runs off, did take a shot. Don't know the caliber of the gun. Don't know if it was a fatal shot. If the momma dies, well, the babies are probably going to die, which is, again, pretty sad. They've got to respect nature. But what are you going to do when a fucking grizzly bear is charging you?
And I think at this point, they're probably nervous, laughing. I would be. Because you just cheated death just because you happen to have a long stick that shoots out metal super fast, they get a gun, and so they're like, we.
Could die by a bear.
The sadness will set in, though, because the bear probably didn't make it together.
No, I never. Did you get.
That? Oh, he said a shot right in front of her. So warning shot, bold move. Also again, bears don't know English. If you say get back and then you do a warning shot, make them dance a little bit, you still might die. But that hopefully the pull it didn't hit maybe mom is going to be okay.
Pull out some of.
And they're continuing going down the river oh oh good and they lost their paddle. They get it back seemingly. I would like to think everyone in this clip was a okay. Now who's not okay. And the next hope, which is the moist. This clip is. Well you'll see.
This next clip. Mm. Is so moist.
So sticking with the theme of animals besting humans, the crocodile or the alligator, kind of the same thing. If you want to get really nerdy, you say who with the the teeth of the alligators is is is intermixed. There's bottom teeth and top teeth, but a crocodile whose only top teeth is actually a big difference, Chuck But you just have to read more into it.
There's still dinosaurs that are still alive by some grace of the almighty algorithm. They're still kicking. And down South Florida, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, that region, they're still quite prominent. And, you know, as I said, with the bears, stay in your spot for a human, let the bears have their spot. But how populated the south is those states? It's kind of like, well, there were gators here and now we're here, we'll just live in peace.
And for the most part, I mean, I used to spend my summers in Florida. Yeah, it's true. You got to know what to look out for. They're not coming at you full charge that you need a rifle to shoo them away. You just walk around them, don't provoke them. But I'm not a native of Florida in the South and the native sometimes get a little wild and this zigzag actually what happened in this moist clip and it's moist because.
Jonathan letting bite your finger do it for the snap. Never snap. Oh, my God.
This guy got a little gator, has his hand round back side of his neck, mouth is open. This is the teeny tiny one. I mean, this thing, the giant one, Crocodile Hunter style. This is little gator. So I have him by you. They're antagonizing the poor beast.
You got to touch him. You got to touch him. Hey, hey. First down.
You got to touch him. You can't just do some flick. Do not expect it to bite you. Let him bite you. Come on.
You cross down.
This. This is a little dated doing it for the snap once people are still doing it for the snap. I'm not. But I guess this guy's gonna hurt.
He's put it tongue out. He don't want to tell me he did a lactation things. He wants to take the gators back out.
No, do your finger there.
This is escalating versus good.
You have him back.
You do a pretty snap thing. I want him back. My finger on the back, my tongue.
No. How about my dick?
No, not that. Not bad.
Oh, so you didn't pull out of dick people that one of his testicles out his jeans.
You broke? Oh.
I mean, I screen this before we got to playing, but I did the same thing with the baboon that just in its mouth and eat it. I don't know if I own a watch. Is it different when the cameras and lights are on?
I ha ha ha.
He's his whole alligator and he's got his nut out and he's just kind of petting the gators heads like hares, mobile.
Take a bite or jump.
He looks up, he's like.
Yo, yo, like this. Now, this.
Is this comedy. You're out of here.
No. Oh, he he bet it. He bet his ball. Oh, oh, oh, oh. You just clamp down now.
I'm not know I might not know the difference between a gator and a croc with the T thing, but I do know, as a matter of fact, the either those animals, when their mouth shut down, you can't pried open, you keep them shut. You put your hand over it. They can't they don't have enough strength drawstring to get it open.
But once they're down, they're locked down in his own. This man's testicles would go.
I got you got a bucket, fractured his neck. This man's bigger.
Oh, you can see the pinch. Oh, if you're watching YouTube, it's blurred out because it is genitalia. So I'm not going to throw that on there but the links are in the show notes sway unlimited dot com. You can see there is a now there's a part of this man's balls in this gator's mouth.
You stop doing stuff, you stop, stop, stop.
I don't feel bad. Not a lick because he deserved it. But still, it's tough to watch as a man.
He's going to be.
He got what he deserves 100% got what he deserved.
Lucky lady, being.
A gamer goes up to really.
Got me. Who would have really got me he's.
If he wasn't sweating now or then he was since out he's sweating now though he's got gator teeth wrapped around is nuts.
What the fuck.
Oh, what the fuck indeed. Okay. Oh, my God. I think Gator. Gator one man zero. This could have been avoided, but those avoided. It would have been the choices clip this week. Let's move on to a little bit of capitalism on this show because we all are going to make money, right? I'm not selling drugs for the queen.
I'm selling subscriptions. It's time for a dose of capitalism. Live, buy, consume, die. And so, like I do every week, I want to give a shout out to the parade. Plus supporters AJ, Joe, Michael Davis, Reverend Tanner, Mills, Quinn and Tyler. Your support, fellas, has gone a long way, been 27 episodes in been improved upon each time. And it is because of the monetary help and support from you.
If you want to help the show out, you can Sway Unlimited our Collins Class Pricing. There's a few monthly subscription options. There's also a one time payment option. It's a little steeper, but you can access premium access for 69 years. And it says in the terms and conditions, I'm not shitting you. You can pass that down to your children, whoever you bequeath it to, you pass it down and they can continue reaping the benefits.
Am I going to be around for 69 years? Maybe we'll see. But just something to keep in mind. But the lowest end parade plus $6 in $0.90 a month. Cancel any time, every single penny that doesn't get lost in the transaction fee goes to support the show, not pocketing it, not going to saving up to buy a new Tesla because it can it goes to the show, like I said, upgrades, new equipment, cameras, ad space prayers of the almighty algorithm.
Every single dollar goes that way. And also Amazon, everyone uses Amazon, right? Well, I'm doing something a little bit different that I have never been seen done before, which is I'm splitting commissions from Amazon 5050. Now, how this works is in the show links or in the description on YouTube, you click the Amazon link, it looks it's Amazon, but it's shortened link, it's amakhosi and back slash, whatever.
That's my store code. You click on that, you're taken to Amazon. That's a normal Amazon site. That's basically a referral link for me. Pick what you want on Prime, not on Prime, whatever Amazon's got literally everything you make a purchase. My account gets credited because you made a purchase off of the referral and then the time that Amazon processes by yep you made the sale you made this commission.
How this normally would work is I would make that commission from it, but I'm offering a 5050. So whatever you buy on Amazon, there's different rates for the commissions. I'll give you half of it. If Amazon pays a dollar commission and this whatever item I keep $0.50, you get $0.50. And how you do this is a few extra steps you need to take, but it's kind of worth it to get some money back on Amazon purchases, which is not being done anywhere else.
This way is whatever you order on Amazon. After using that link, send a screenshot of the items you ordered to Howdy at Sway Unlimited dot com. Once you do that, I see what's there. I cross-check it with the back end that Amazon provides. I look at that, I see what the commission is and then once that payment clears from Amazon, about 60 days later, I'll Venmo Cash App, PayPal, whatever, that bit of scratch is that easy and again that helps support the show.
Is this a dose of capitalism? We got to live, we got to die, we got to consume, we got to buy. So there we have it there. And without further ado, we're going to round out the show with a sports section in the deep shot.
Go destroy that big old belly shop here, get the rack was buried deep shot.
All right. As I had mentioned, the NFL is very much back, super excited for all the games that are played, even though I did say I wanted to take a dating app, I didn't. I enjoyed all the games going into Sunday night. Monday this episode drops Tuesday was watching Russell Wilson's struggle against the Seattle Seahawks. Geno Smith is a real deal.
I do understand that The Deep Shot is now a segment in this show instead of what used to be an entire hour long podcast. So I do. But you know, not all y'all are football fans. So I try to make the football and just the sports in general fun. I'm not going to go through all winds and stats and trades and contracts.
I do contract sometimes though with fun mouth seeing, you know, how they could spend their money. But one thing that should be increasingly obvious, if you are viewer of any of the cons and whether it's the shorts on social media or chuck in the hallway or if you're watching on YouTube. Josh Allen helmet there's a Josh Allen picture.
There's there's a there's a Josh Hall and Pop somewhere. I have a few of them. Oh, Buffalo Bills helmet. I mean, you can't see that on screen, but we got to talk about the bills each time, especially when they win. Oh, hell yeah. So I do have a clip for you. Just a short one. Nothing too much. But I mean, I have to drool over Josh Allen.
I mean, I was telling Mrs. Sway at the beginning of the season because the Bills played last Thursday. So I've had time to kind of sit on it and just suck it all in that I want to give Josh on my goof juice when I see him play because it's just it's it's electric, it's erotic. Gets me going as a Buffalo Bills fan and as a Josh Allen fan.
So they played the Rams are kicking off the NFL season. The Bills, of course, I'm going to be riding high most all season because they're favored to win the magnificent chalice, the the super game bowl. And so we're going to we're going to run with that. And so I have a clip here from the game Bill's one handedly spoiler alert but Josh let's just revel in the man among boys that he has we have him draw back score in the third quarter is 17 to 10 doesn't see anyone open so he decides to run and just dunks the ball.
Wrong sport you don't dunk a football typically Josh Allen No, it's something else to say about it. So he dunks over Bobby Wagner as he tries to tackle him, does tackle him. But after the ball had crossed the plane, touchdown for Joshie boy, he even thought about just given I mean, that's a lethal weapon as he gets up and this clip in any NFL clip that gets shared I'm blurring it out the yin yang, because the NFL is just their hammer is long and mighty and hard.
And if they catch even a whiff of commentary content on YouTube, they will flag you. So you're going to have to check the link in the show notes at this one. But after he scores, he pick up picks up the ball. It is a little pump fake to the crowd. Mind you, this is in Los Angeles, is not where the bills play typically.
And he almost just fired a rock. It could have took someone's head off but thought, hey, that was a really cool play. I want to continue playing. I don't to be charged for murder because I'm going to blow someone's head off with shooting a football out of my cannon arm. So he shows some restraint and the bills looked real good.
So that's my little bit of bills. And Josh Allen stroking for this week. But don't you worry, we'll be stroking more and more throughout the season. Moving on, though, there is the Pickens Group that a decent amount of you joined in. The season has started, but some people have asked me, hey, is it too late to join? It's not too late to join, but you want to get in sooner than later because you've already missed out on a week of picks to potentially get points.
Whoever at the end of the season has just straight up the most picks. You're going to get 100 bucks. And so this, I would say, is probably the the last time your opportunity, if you're already in hey, this is your weekly reminder fill out your picks for this week just to go over some of the stats before we get into the picks.
Krispy Kreme touchdowns he won the week got 1010 out of the 16 right pretty good percentage scored higher than everyone else. Krispy Kreme, right? Yeah I think I. A Krispy Kreme. Krispy Kreme touchdowns. If you're listening, I'm not sure if your listener there are some random people on Twitter that decided to join in. But if you are listener DM me, I'm going to Venmo you a dollar and I'm going to continue this throughout the season.
Whoever gets the high pick, I'll give you a dollar. Hey, great job for picking them. Me? Unfortunately, I had like I think seven, right? So I was a little down below, but is what it is, there's always next week. I do want to give a shout out of a hot pick goes to now for he was the only one to pick the Browns over the Panthers.
Good pick on that one because yeah. No one else thought that the Browns would win and then the cold pick mauls before holes. Hansi Boy, you were the only one that thought the Falcons could beat the Saints and you were wrong. It was a close game, came down to a field goal, but still a cold pick nonetheless. And I do want to give an honorable mention to the lovely Mrs. Sway.
She doesn't watch football. She watches me watch football. Her first time playing pick comes. I mean, not she doesn't. She knows Josh Allen is in the bills and she knows Russell Wilson and she knows of the Seahawks. I had to tell her. And the Monday night game that Russell Wilson no longer played for the Seahawks, but she got six picks, right, nine, wrong, six nine.
So shout out to her. I think she did that on purpose because that's our anniversary shout out six nine. And moving on, I'm going to take these picks, kind of do a rapid fire for this next week starting out be super brief because if you're not in the sports and you're still watching, you're like, move on with it.
Stewart Country Strong coming up. First game here, though, Chargers and the Chiefs. Ooh, Sherbet and Patrick Mahomes. I'm going to go with Froggy Voice. Patrick Mahomes, chiefs look good week one. They're probably going to beat that division. Rival Browns and Jets most always, I will pick against the Jets and the Browns. They support women beaters. They support women abusers, but they don't support being a mediocre football team.
Well, I take that back. It's the Browns, but they're still better than the Jets. The Washington commanders and the Detroit Lions commanders got a new name. You can't call them by their old name. I think the name is kind of lame, but they're not the lions. So give me the Commander's Bucs and Saints, Tom Brady and a Drew Brees list.
New Arlene's team. I think Thomas, he's like 45 years old. I still think he's pretty damn good at football. Give me the Bucs Panthers lose at Giants. Panthers, as we know, did lose to the sport. Women hating players supporting women, haters supporting abuse for women browns. I've come up with a classier catcher or classier. It's the opposite of classic.
Come up with a catchy name for the Browns as the season progresses and the Giants, 69% good number. Pick the Panthers, but I'm going go with the Giants. Saquon Barkley. Looks like he can run the football pretty good again. Patriots and Steelers again as a Bills fan, Tom Brady is no longer there, but Bill Belichick is still the root of all football evil Jimmy the Steelers and the sister kissing Colts who tied against the Texans going up against the Jaguars.
Give me the Colts. I think they're going to get their first win. They haven't lost yet, but they did kiss her sister. More on that in a second. Dolphins and ravens, the dolphins are going against the Patriots. But are the Ravens better? I'm actually go dolphins on this. So I'm going to go against the grain, see if I can get a hot pick.
Falcons and Rams. Rams did lose the bills. The Falcons aren't the bills are probably going to beat the Falcons Seahawks at 49 are Seahawks coming off that high of beating Russell Wilson a return to Seattle. I'm gonna go with the Seahawks. I got that pick wrong. I thought the Broncos were going to run train on the Seahawks and I was wrong.
So I'm going to go local, support the Seahawks. I like them in that pick Bengals and the Cowboys Bengals did lose to the Steelers. And I do want to give just a quick shout out to the meme. I'll share it next week. The Steelers, Mike Tomlin, the head coach, got all the players black out. Air Force Ones. Steelers, of course, known that black out and that gold clean uniform.
And they ended up edging the Bengals in a atrocious overtime game where not a single kick could be made except the last one. And That's what counted. Bengals lost. But the Cowboys again, don't put your money on the Cowboys. They say they're America's team. They are most definitely not. Buffalo Bills. Red, white and blue baby. Give me the Bengals, Joe Burrow, the big SpongeBob and kick defense off.
I have two Texans in the Broncos. The other sister kisser? Yes, the Colts. The Colts and the Texans. Yeah, they tied. They are sister kissers in week one. We don't normally get sister kiss or ties, but we did week one. Pretty awesome. But the Broncos, they still look pretty good. Seattle just looked better. I think it was too emotional for Russell and Seattle to put on a great game to beat them.
Field goal missed he kicker kind of cocked it but I'm still going to take the Broncos Texans I still have much faith in them they're going to sister kiss and they're going to lose cardinals and raiders. Kyler Murray Right. We talked about him a few weeks ago, has a clause in his contract or at least he did. He has to do his homework.
If he doesn't do his homework, gets kicked off the team or not kicked off, but he loses his money. I'm going to go Raiders, though. Vegas, baby and Bears and Packers.
Packers look rough. I'm going to think the Packers are going to stay rough. I'm going to get some green here picking the Bears. And then Monday night, there's two games, one of them, the Titans and the Bills. Not much of a question. Gimme Bellies and then Vikings and Eagles, both teams, one and one. I'm going to go Vikings on this one or slightly favored on the percentage picked and the tiebreaker.
How many total points will be scored in the Vikings and the Eagles? Give me an easy tie breaking number. I'm just going to say I'm going to say 32. There's my number and pilgrims are locked in and that is that again, if you haven't joined yet, do a quick do it by this Thursday so you can have a chance, because after that, it's just going to be following along and just gassing on your own accord.
But those are the picks for this week. Next week it'll be the same. I'll try to get quicker that actually ran in a little longer than I would have liked. I'll just go quicker. I'll work on it. I'll get better. Be quick, like quick like the wind quick. Like all the fast football players in the NFL, they're recounting, oh, he ran a 4 to 140 time.
It's like, that's faster than I can blink, but I'll be quicker. I swear. I was a big man. I'm not very fast, but I'll be quicker. Olympics, I swear to God. Moving on in, the deep shot college football is also going on. I'm not really going to cover a whole lot of college football unless it's something like this.
And I want to give credit where credit is due. This was submitted by Cooper Dale, frequent YouTube viewer. Thank you, Cooper Dale, for submitting this clip. This is at a Clemson football game, allegedly a grown ass man picking a fight with a 16 year old, 15, 16 year old, an adolescent, which first off were, whoa, not five years old.
So not part of the question at the top of the show. But also, I mean, that's child abuse. And you're in public. And let's take a look at what that looks like.
Oh, here we go. Here we go. Here we go.
So I believe if you are watching, dude, see on the left is the adult, the frat bro. And the kid that just went down the steps is the adolescent adults are up on this one. Here we go.
Oh, here they went.
The kid gets up. Go, throws a clean hook for a 15 year old. I didn't know how to punch like that back then. This kid watches. The mom probably gets a clean shot in frat bro is kind of back like.
Down? And the kid just starts wailing for Abra number two, Chad has to come and back up. Brad and Skyler, which is the friend of the other kid, Bryson maybe kind of back. Whoa, whoa, don't you do this like you guys are, like, full blown adults that are still living off your parents. Oh, fuck you. Like, stop. No more, no more.
We're done. That's not cool. And the adults stay down. Don't do it. Stay down there. Call security like, hey, that man legally just beat out the shit of that kid. But then hold on. I was there. I saw the whole thing. Then the kid actually Sucker Punch got some good hits, and I'm going to give it to the kid one more time.
Here we go. Here we go. Oh, here they.
Oh, just nice hook, very nice hook. Good has him stagger goes for another one misses down but still 15 year old got five six good shots in the adult got maybe two Let me give this one to the kid and I think if you change the caller question questions the top how many five year olds do you think I could take on?
Multiply that 15 year olds I'd say maybe one. That 15 year old got some scrap he held on. All right. Well, at this time, Guitar Man actually ran out the show. Oh, what am I doing? What am I doing? Oh, you have the hat on. Hey, we we. We got to get strong. Let's go.
Coach. Don't play the week.
Same time of the show.
Well, I got to make sure I don't break my headphones because I already.
Is time to get country strong. And we got a ten gallon hat on. My is country strong, lad. Yeah, that's right. We landed on that. My name is Country Strong Cloud and I'm here to call the country strong play of the Week. And I have some land up for you. That was a football theme to kind of inaugurate of sorts the the start of this NFL season showing how physical and tough the NFL can be.
And what went on and happened is a link that I had selected just went in, disappeared. We're not available no more, so I had to find something else. And I do want to give a shout out because there's something else that I found. And let me tell you what, before I move on a strong clip is now just like any old clip, it's country strong.
So you got to keep that in mind as I do want to give a shout out to my lovely wife, Mrs. Sway, because she done did find herself a clip, not half an hour before I came up to record. She showed it to me and I'll break down more the the story and the happenings on how everything develop once we get rolling on it.
But she showed it to me and I was like, dadgum woman let their country Django Unchained that in a damned me a chuck underscore sway and I'll be sure to show it on the show. I did not think that it was going to make it all the way to the end in this show. It would have been in a future show did backlog the content but given that we got to be flexible sometimes lynx don't be Lincoln no more.
This one is country strong and just want to give a shout out again to Mrs. White. Thank you so much, Barrow, for providing this.
Get in trouble. It worked in practice.
So live television, given the nature of the jersey, I would make the argument that one, my headphones are slipping off. Just kind of what you get. But I would make the argument that this clip is quite dated but if it even shown a Brady at it's brand new to me so the woman standing there lives little tag on the screen holding the microphone.
She's saying when we ran duration practice, she's wondering if you're not familiar, a minnesota Vikings jersey by the number of 669. Who would doubt? And if you remember such a player that played for the Minnesota Vikings are wore number 69. You know the dad is Jared Allen, another man among boys. I mean, I feel like at this point, if your last name is Allen and you play professional football, you're a man among boys and you are at least an affiliate to Coach Strong.
You're going to play is actually my role this bear because it is a quick clip we're going to play this. We have a man and a random M.C. tossing the ball to a man that's behind the woman here on this live broadcast. Let's take a look here.
Get in trouble. It worked in practice, like.
Running a good distance.
When they had rehearsed our think, they had rehearsed that we were going to get really over in a don't play one more.
Practice pass the ball good step.
She done got her back blown out in in the worst way possible. She gets a blind side as blind as you can get she doesn't have she might say to her kids the has in the back of my head actually maybe her grandkids don't you fool around. I got ads in the back of my head. But when it comes to football, she did not because she was not seeing me.
She knew the man was coming, but she didn't expect to be knocked into next Sunday.
But didn't practice like.
They did to go.
In. As I said, the best part about it is Mrs. Sway Saw. Like I said, she doesn't know. She don't know football too much. She knows Josh Allen, she knows the Seahawks and she knows Russell Wilson. So she saw 69. She saw Allen on the back of the jersey and she went, Hi, this is Josh Allen. Well, he could only wish that he was half of defensive managed Jarrett Allen, but still an owl nonetheless.
Very good question. If you didn't know, I would say do the man that threw the ball just kind of like, oh, my God, what happened? That is that country strong. All righty. We're going to round out this show same fashion that we did last week. We're going to pray to the almighty algorithm and we may in may country strong clad, going to say our prayers.
So at this point, bow your heads if you can. And if not, if you pray to another deity or lower to God. What have you heard? Really no discrimination. You can serve both because one is in the physical space and the other one is in the digital physical space. So you can still give your thanks. And again, give those shoutouts, share with your friends.
It is Chuck's birthday because I'm not Chuck Grant. Now, Chuck's birthday this week. He would just appreciate it like no other if you shared the show LAUGHTER Review subscribed on YouTube like disliked again doesn't have to be positive, doesn't have to be negative. It's got to be a review. It's an offering to the almighty algorithm. And now we will pray, Oh, my day algorithm is me again.
Cut drunk, lad, just praying to you because I really haven't done this before except last week asking you to be real nice to the show. Share or in it in your soul as you go through millions upon millions of episodes of podcast trying to decide, hey, which one is right for the listener? This is my case. As much as jerks to say the Sway Parade is the right one.
And we ask you, we pray to you, we bare to you to grant us that bless and with all Your grace and power, a man felt like I had to stop for a second because the headphones are slipping off. I couldn't hear the the sweet sounds of the angels, the algorithmic angels singing. But we got through it. Hopefully you did, too, because that concludes another episode of this right parade.
Before we get on out of here, I do want to give another shout out to AJ, Joe, Michael Davis, Reverend Tanner, Mills, Quinn and Tyler. Thank you for your support. Parade Plus Member. If you want to help support the show's main limited outcome, go to price and you can also donate. I mean, throw painting my way. Why not?
That's going to do it for the show. Thank you so much for watching and listening. And Chuck and I split personality. The both of us will see you next week on Homeland. By now.