Sway Parade #26 Show Links





Sup y'all!


Here's all the links that we discussed on this week's episode:

 

Scrub My Clip

You got me

Left 4 Dead Witch freak-out

Browse safely

Horse runs over drone pilot

Florida. Home of the Fourth Reich

MOIST CLIP: Turtle Wax

 


Lil Bit'a News

It's now illegal for anyone under 21 to buy canned whipped cream in New York

Jennifer Lopez Cut Dancers From Auditions Because They Were Virgos

Sydney nightclub bans staring without getting prior 'verbal consent'

WILD NEWS: Man 'Chopped Off' His Own Penis While Dreaming About 'Slaughtering a Goat'

 

The Deep Shot

Josh Allen and a ping pong

Look out coach

Purdue Puke 6

COUNTRY STRONG: Beefy Griddy

 

Transcript

Yeah. Well, it's a new policy and a rule I like. I would like to look at you two, but I would need consent from you as well. Well, if you haven't given me consent to look at you, I'm not comfortable with giving consent to you to look at me. Good day. It's this Sway parade with Shaq. Sway.


Welcome into the Sway Parade.


My name is Chuck.


Sway, and this is the parade.


Thank you for joining me on this wonderful day. Evening, night. Whatever it may be. I'm glad you are here. And if you're brand new to the show and haven't heard anything about it, you've stumbled across it. If the almighty algorithm has been pushing this out. Welcome. And you might be wondering, well, what is this whole thing about on Mattel?


You, Mattel, you good? We cover news. That's weird. We cover sports. It's mostly Billy, a lot of bills. And I mean, NFL is right around the corner. And then we do clips in a variety of order of those segments. And then there are going to tell in segments to each one moist. This clip, the wild news and country strong.


And I got the I got the cowboy hat down yonder for a little bit later. Excited for this week's clip but we'll get to it. I do want to mention, I believe I forgot to even give it some shine last week. There's a phone number, it's a hotline, it's live. It's ready to go. If you're watching on YouTube here, it's at the bottom of the screen.


If you're listening, get a pen and paper or remember it. It's pretty easy. Number 818275 Sway. It's been a little light on the calls as of late. So this is my plea to you call that number, leave any sort of message, tell a fun story, ask a question, anything. Just call it up if you get cold feet, if it goes through.


Because when you call it, there is a little prerecorded voicemail thanking you for calling. And if you get cold feet, you're like, I just I don't know what to say. I can't do it. Ah, hang up the phone. Take a deep breath in through the nose, out through the mouth, and call again and say whatever you're going to say.


It's off the cuff. And I listen to it off the cuff. So there's a little bit of pressure for you as a caller because it's, you know, one and done that recording is a recording. But I don't screen any of these calls when they come through. I am recording and it is for me live. When I'm playing it back there is a key on the number pad.


There's some number you can press. I don't know what it is, but you press it and it restarts the voicemail. So just keep that in mind. Well, let's move on to the first segment. But one more time on that number 818275 sway. But we got to get to scrub in some clips, scrub Meklit, clip. As with every show, we take clips from around the web, finding fun stuff, finding raunchy stuff, and it's progressive.


It gets a little bit more raunchier as we navigate through this segment until we get to the moist. This clip and today's wine is pretty damn moist, if you ask me. But we have to get to everything else first. Let's take a look at this first clip.


All right, Mom, you got me. All right, I'm busted. What are you going to do? You got me. Okay, I'm busted. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, boo. You got these fancy range cameras and you got me on video. Okay, I know. I know. You're sitting there in your fancy chair at the Nassau, Bahamas.


And you. Oh, we got him now, Mike. We got him now, Mikey. We got him. But I'll tell you one thing, Mom, you ain't you ain't as clever as you think he is. You ain't got me because I'm gonna get in this house and I'm up there on 62, and then you're not going to do anything because you're in the Bahamas.


Well, did he get God or did he not? He kind of changed his story, this dude rolling up and getting home late. So, Costas, all hell and proclaiming to the ring camera outside of his parents house.


Mama, you got.


Me.


You're sitting there out on the Bahamas looking at this video.


Thinking, We got him. But guess what? You didn't get me, even though you got me. This kind of seems like this chap has a potential future in politics. And I'm not talking about, you know, I can't not deriving anything of his policies, what he believes in. I mean, you can gather from the accent what part of the United States he's in.


So you can assume something there. But not knowing anything about this guy's background aside from.


He got got.


This feels like it's a politician that the scandal breaks driving drunk unruly conduct but he he holds it together pretty nice in his drunken stupor. You got me. But guess what? If I get your vote, then I got you. And if you travel to.


The Bahamas with my mom or.


Whoever, just know I'm going to get in this House of Representatives for the good state of Mississippi. And I'm going to fight for you. I'm going to make sure bars stay open. Last call is first call. It never ends. The juice keeps flowing because I got you. I'm moving on crazy dad. I. So the caption on this here clip reads Their flight got canceled and there is a a girl that is not happy with that and I don't blame her.


Traveling sucks a certain part of the male anatomy. I'm not on it at the time yet. I want to keep cursing down to a minimum, but it sucks that part of the male body generally. So she has a freak out. Their flight.


Got canceled.


They either are not going to go on their vacation or it's been a rough vacation. Given the behavior of this class, it probably was a pretty rough vacation, if that's the case. So she has a freak out. And if you're listening, the best way that I could paint the picture of her reaction is if you've ever played either of the left for dead video games, zombie games, you navigate through the map through a bunch of regular zombies, hordes of them, and then specialty zombies.


And one of those most formidable zombies is, of course, the witch. If you're not familiar with the witch, when you get close to her in the game, you'll hear a.


Name.


A little like sorrow crying. And the strategy in the game is to turn off your flashlight, crouch down and sneak past that bitch, because if you wake her up.


You'll have hell to pay.


And when you get closer, the whining rises. And then when you disturb the witch, she freaks.


Out. Just like this girl.


Here and consider you and your teams down for the count. This is which takes no prisoners and I sharp claws and you're just messed up This is in real life. And this isn't the first left for dead reference I've made. There was another another clip a few weeks back, maybe months back. At this point, everything's a blur. It does the same thing.


So if you're not familiar with the left for dead references, just Google a left for dead which and tell me I'm wrong. Moving on. So this is this is on the street of a city office building on the ground floor windows. You can look into the office. Whatever they're doing, they're making phone calls, they're sending emails, they're making money happen.


This guy comes up to the window and sees one of the employees not doing business for the business sake. He's taking care of his own business. That's right. He is browsing pornography.


At work with his back to the street, to the general.


Public.


How was this? Is this a good idea?


And how he takes a look to the left, someone in my cube of cubicles. Is anyone looking? No, I think I'm good, man. It's like this internal monologue, man. This would suck if I worked on the first floor of this building. My back would be to the street. Well, carry on. Or he gave another look to the right.


And in his peripherals was this guy taking the video. And he leans forward and he's looking back and you say.


Hey, uh huh, uh.


And he just kind of gives a smirk, like, I'm red handed. I'm into threesomes.


Good job.


Oh, and then he changed the tab watching this back again. Uh, it's hard to tell this. This floor of cubicles doesn't have that much flair to it. So I was thinking it might be the library. But then don't they have firewalls on the library internet? You can't go to Popcom. I don't know. I'm going to I'm going to shift up.


I think I wanted to defend him. If he is at work, if work is this boring and it is just I mean, just picture a cubicle boring. Nothing going on. You're entertainment is solely on your screen and you don't want to look at spreadsheets. You don't check your email. Who wants to do that when just a.


Few keystrokes.


Away p0r you can access all the fun that you could ever want. That's what he does. And it's a little blurry, but it looks like the gender of the performers in these films or this film in particular is slightly crossed. This looks to be and bear with me here, because this is not a typical zone that I traverse on the online videos in such space.


I don't know the actual term, but they appear to be trans. They have breasts, but they also have links and they're just kind of going to town on this guy. Yeah, there is a dude, so the kink is real here. It's trans porn. If that falls into that category again, I apologize. I don't I'm not familiar with this type of work.


I don't typically or ever have a seeked out, such, as I said, visual. But for this guy, I mean, this is just another day at the office. For him, it's like, I want to see two ladies with wieners fucking dude. And by God, nothing's going to stop me. That's exactly what he does. Let's rewind for 1/2. He is on the ground floor of this building with the street and now the world, because the do to take the video pulled out his phone and started recording.


How in.


Any spot.


Anywhere. Is this a good idea? I'll tell you what, I've never had such an urge at work to be like. I need to rub one out. I can't take it anymore, can Jonathan? In across the hall is just badgering me with all the shit I put in the wrong formula once. He just keeps making jokes about it. I just need to watch a trans person fuck a dude with another trans person.


Never done that. But if I was in such a situation where I was just chomping at the bit to come, the here's what I would do. I would get up from my desk, I would walk away and I would go to the bathroom with my cellular device. And I've actually experienced that before, not firsthand. Again, like I said, I hold my urges until I get in the comfort of my own home.


But at a previous job that I had, one of the employees went into the bathroom, which is the shared bathroom, wasn't an office, this was a car dealership. This was the main bathroom in the showroom. And the waiting room shared by employees and customers alike went in there. You would think, oh, going to the bathroom there probably have to piss or shit or powder their nose or whatever you want to do in the privacy of a bathroom in a public place.


He goes in, he comes out, my boss goes in and it's kind of a layer to this that I didn't realize until now. These bathrooms were gender neutral. There were two of them, and they just said, bathroom, it's a personal shithole. Don't care what you are, just use. It's a very progressive on the dealership shadow to that. But my boss, who was a woman identified as a woman, went into the gender neutral bathrooms to do whatever she needed to do in the bathroom and on the sink was the employee's phone who was in there previous, and on the phone was something like this.


So she had to take a walk of shame of sorts and go hand the phone back to him, be like, Hey, you left your phone in the bathroom. Awesome. I'm going to go wash my hands now. In another instance, not at work, but when I was in school I had a class in a computer lab. This was in the basement of the building, one floor down from the top floor, which arguably is a much better place to engage in viewing of adult content.


And I sat in the same seat every day as most of us did in school. Hey, this is going to be my seat. We're adults now. We're in college, we don't have a seating chart. But hey, you know what? I'm comfortable here. And I always sat at the back of classrooms because I am quite a large gentleman. And so my fear was, well, I don't want someone sitting behind me and just look at my big stupid head from the back and not learn anything.


They're paying good money to be there as much as I was. So I sat in the back of this computer lab, same spot every day. I came in one day and opened up Chrome and this was just the general school login. Wasn't specific to my student idea or whatever. It was just student one password go. What were the was a mascot of the school.


I think there were the dolphins go dolphins. One, two, three. Then I was in open up chrome. And when chrome has those boxes of like, hey, you normally visit these sites or here are your recent sites you visited. What I saw was recent tabs not from me because one of them was hentai ex x x and the other one was xqc's hentai to hentai sites and so I was in an interesting predicament because in that class everyone knew or everyone was familiar with if they had to recall that I sat in the back at that computer and so I had to make it loud and proud, like, hey, someone was watching porn on here.


That was not me. I just want to put that out there. And same thing with hentai as it is with transgender porn. It's not my thing. It's just pointed to someone is coming in here and watching stuff and still much a better move than this guy who was in the basement. It was at the back of this cold and damp damper space.


Once this person was done doing their browsing. But you got to go incognito. Another tip for the oblivious, I guess, because there should be common sense.


Always, always.


Always open up an incognito window doesn't track your history. It doesn't throw your algorithm for a loop and you can browse.


What ever you like. I do it at home.


On private so Mrs. Sway doesn't type in PO to look up poop.


Pope.


Who is the Pope? Pope Who is he? It isn't autofill that the hub so this person didn't do this. I mean, I guess this is three instances of just negligence when watching porn in a place that you shouldn't be watching it. Just use these simple trip trip tricks. Oh my God. And you can browse safely. Now, back at school on the browser, I mean, I kept it open, I took pictures of it, I posted it actually, because it wasn't too suggestive for Instagram, which is like, look at this shit, hashtag college.


But one day I think it was a few days or maybe in the next week after I discovered said suggested recent tabs, I walked in the room and there was a boy sitting at the back. He was standing up, so I didn't see where he was sitting, but he had kind of a low brim hat identity was I mean, I couldn't idea it's years ago now.


And then he swiftly walked out of the room and I thought, Hmm, is that my guy? I don't know. But moral of the story here, if you're out and about and you really need to watch porn, be smart and be safe. Okay. Little bit of a rant there for online porn viewing, but let's move on to something different.


This is a horse.


O and a man.


So there is a drone pilot taking some drone footage of a horse. It's kind of out of sequence. We get the punch before we get the setup. But I mean, cool shot here nearing sunset. This stallion is just trotting through a field, but then it takes a turn. I mean, it's a drone gone. Flying around the horse is like, fuck, that diverts.


And this isn't just standing and looking up at your drone type of drone. This is put on a VR headset headset and fly the drone in this guy who's flying it, the pilot just thinks, if I stand at this spot in the field, I'll be fine. Oh, no, no, no. AU contraire. Because a horse takes a turn.


Or.


It just knocks this dude out. And I love the replay on the drone footage because the drone passes the horse as it's banking going towards the pilot, knocks him out and that just sends the drone colliding down to Earth. No. One more time. It's like the perfect hip check on a horse and a human just bam and even knocks the headset out, gets hit first on the hip, hip opens up, the remote is trashed.


And then.


The the hip.


The actual hip of the horse clips, the headset smashes that thing. And the dude is just down for the count. I actually have access to a drone at my day job and I am so scared to use it, I'd be even more scared to use it around the horse because I am afraid of horses. The two fucking big to be so gentle doesn't make any sense.


So just be mindful. If you are a drone pilot, maybe stay away from the fields or be outside of the field that the horses aren't for you. Go shoot your neat shots. All right, moving on. I want to preface this clip before I play it, because I was not aware that such things happen in broad daylight, those things being.


Overt.


Racism. So I want to share this clip more for awareness of like, hey, this shit is going on in America.


Every day.


And then no more appropriate of a place than the great state of Florida. So if there's viewers out there, the algorithm picks it up that, oh, hey, this is this is hate speech. Yeah, it is, but it's not mine. I just want to show you what the good people of Florida spend their, let's say.


Tuesday, today's Tuesday.


For listening of the day of the drop.


Tuesday.


Afternoon in Florida. Let's take a.


Look at, you know, high powered, high power.


This is a group of grass walking neo-Nazis. And they got signs, they got flags. You don't really see anymore. They're doing a thing with their hand a little bit a little bit limited on the camera. Open up here. They have their hand.


Up like that.


There's a freeze frame for.


You are just doing a demonstration. This is not only feel and they're just shouting. They're good word that you know what is right.


Then this lady comes in, she's got her phone on a gimbal. She's walking, she's like.


Hey, this one stop and taking videos.


Of us. So she walks over, takes her video, and then clicks her heels together and goes, Watch this and gives the old segue.


I'll give you 6 million viewers. 6 million. Again.


This is the argument. If it comes to court, we go to the wider camera angle. Again, that's the argument if it comes to court that all these people are just spouting hate speech and they play this video back and they're like, no, your Honor, we were waving at them. They they rode up on us and they were filming us.


So we just went, Hi.


Sorry, I'll.


Golly, there's more to it. Don't you worry when you're like, Oh, another one. And it's inaudible.


To please you look at them. Oh yes, we're you're going back to jail. We can.


Now that is super racist. I'm mad actually. BLEEP, bleep, bleep that out. Let me write that down, that time stamp because oh we you can't say that and you should never say that.


How do we know that you're ju because racist comment number one in racist comment number two you have frickin derogatory due term what the fuck? Oh, I'm going to go. Oh, sure, buddy. About that.


First off.


Terrible, terrible. Dude pressured I'll.


I'll bite he's got a megaphone not ten feet from the alleged Jew who's taking this video.


How? Oh, I'm Jewish. Well, I'm not.


Jesus.


I it it's like the Rabbi Dunn.


Oh, I should also point out for the listeners.


This is right outside of Starbucks. This is America, baby. That's a copycat.


This guy's got way too much power with the megaphone, and they just got even good insults.


I'm going to suck baby penis. Look at me. Thanks for coming.


I have something prerecorded.


All right?


Premeditated. Not just spout out. I mean, I feel like I'm defending hate speech. I'm not. I'm just saying, come with your digs a little bit more Diggy. Okay? If you're going to insult someone, make it a good insult, because then it's funny, but this is just cringe.


Yeah. You know? Oh, mean.


They just kind of walk away. They do have the megaphone, realize, oh, that did not land. I'm just going to go down a little bit and just.


Why power or why. Oh why bother giving love may if I feel like it's other races for oh.


No it's really funny if you hear the dogs barking.


Or you shut up.


Coincidentally enough, that is a German shepherd and Doberman, two very prominent German breeds.


I'm not a racist. Okay, we get it. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I thought.


And then they they just they default to their circle back around. We're not getting a rise out of these people. What do we do? Execute plan 20 to pile of 20.


Two white power white power.


Fucking morons appoint. I mean I don't know if I've spoken at length about Florida and how great of a state it is, but man, these dogs are really riled up. I mean, that's what these people are in these videos. They're just a bunch of dogs, not the good kind. Just like go piss and shit somewhere else. But Florida, I used to live in Florida.


I used to spend my summers in Florida. Oh, 1/2. Not turn this down so I don't clip the mic. If you're watching, though, you could see me yell at dogs. God, it's like they want to jump in. But anyways, I've spent a good amount of time in Florida and outside of the Miami's, the Tampa Bay Rays, the Orlando's.


I've been all those places outside of them. It turns into a real fucking dump. And I would like to guess that this is in the dump beer parts, uh, the true south, if you will. So, I mean, still a really cool place. You know, it's subtropical. You get a nice temperature, you get more humidity than what you know, what to deal with.


Just get moist as all hell. Speaking of which, moist is coming up very soon. You got nice beaches. You got I mean, there's a lot of stuff in Florida. But keep in mind, if you have a trip planned to go to Florida, don't be surprised. Especially listen to this episode. Do not be surprised if you're driving down the street like, oh my God, there's a bunch of white supremacists, huh?


He wasn't kidding. Yeah, I'm not. Okay, let's get moist with the moist this clip and move on from the hate speech and get into a little.


Bit of love. This next clip is so moist.


And I'm talking about turtle love, folks.


Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh or I, I ah I.


Let me change that statement. That turtle love, tortoise love tortoises making coitus would be the name of the episode. This is a tortoise orgy. If I've ever seen one and I have not ever seen one. Let's count them out. There's one.


Two, three, four.


Five, five pairs of tortoises bumping shells and getting it on. I wonder if you're a reptile expert. Please let me know. There's a there's a reason to to call the show. Well, put the number out there for you in case you've got 818275 sway. If you're a reptile expert, let me know if this is a common occurrence in nature.


Obviously, this is not in nature. This is in some sort of reserve. And there's a boatload of tortoises. Tortoises in this enclosure. And like I said, ten of them decided all at once to get it on a I mean, is is something in the water? Is this at high noon on the fourth Thursday every other month? It just a nature thing where they get all horny and be like I need to tortoise fact.


That's what they're.


Doing. Wow. Yeah. Uh huh. Uh huh, uh huh.


One more time with the turtle.


Come around.


It's a lot more fun than racism. Just tortoises fucking. All right, let's move on to our next segment, which is the news.


What's the big deal, fella? It's just a little bad news.


Top story this week. It is now illegal for anyone under 21 to buy canned whipped cream in New York, according to a recently passed state law. The law is meant to prevent teenagers from using whipped cream canisters to inhale nitrous oxide, otherwise known as whip. It's approximately one in five young people used inhalants like Whip. It's by the time they reach eighth grade, their number seems pretty damn high.


I have never done whippets in this fashion. I've done it under medical supervision. And let me tell you what, if I had known about it before, I reached eighth grade.


I might have.


Tried it, but then my brain wouldn't have developed in such a way. Maybe we wouldn't have gotten the show. Maybe we would have just been addicted to whippets. But you know, we think of whipped cream cans and we think, you know, what you get at the store, it's a plastic has that nozzle that you just turn a little bit and you get their whipped cream.


My mother would take it a step further and make her own whipped cream, which was like a more convoluted device, at least it appeared. So it had the canister where the cream was and had a little nozzle for you to pull down. It was metal, it wasn't plastic. And then at the end, at the top was where you put your canisters that had the nitrous oxide, and then you just had your different flavored special whipped cream.


That's, I believe, the best way to take whip. It's not endorsing it by any means. Don't do whippets unless you need to go to the dentist and then whatever the procedure may be, even if it's a teeth cleaning, if they just need to take a look and see how things are going on in your mouth. Demand don't ask demand for the nitrous because it's awesome.


But don't go to the store. I mean, it's it's dirty anyways. You want the pure stuff from those kids. But with that device I feel like I, I would have formed of habit. And it seems like younger people agree because one in five before eighth grade seems to be a bit of a problem out there in New York.


And this is a statement from the DEA. And you know that they mean business when it comes to drug use. Abusing inhalants can cause damage to the parts of the brain that control thinking, moving vision and hearing. So, yeah, preserve those things. Just do it at the dentist. Nitrous oxide is a legal chemical for legitimate professional use, but when used improperly, it can be extremely lethal to young people by inhale this gas to get high because they mistakenly believe it is a safe substance.


It's not safe out of a can. It is safe sitting in the chair at the dental office. And after my first trip, if you will, of my experience of nitrous, which was actually somewhat recent, I went in for a cleaning. I didn't go to the dentist for years because of the anxiety, like, what do you want, some nitrous?


And I'm like, I've never had that before, but I'm very uncomfortable right now. This guy just they put this like hog nose thing over your nose tube just feeds it. And there's like, just take a few deep breaths in and I just.


Oh, all right.


You could fuck my mouth right now. I wouldn't care. It's fantastic. If you want to dissociate at the at the dentist's office again, I am not endorsing this to do recreationally, but if you're looking to dissociate away from that chair and all the sharp objects and the drills and all that shit, ask for nitrous. But I did a little bit more research after my my first trip, my first experience.


I also found that they also use nitrous in hospice, which is when you are on your way out of this world, it helps ease your passing. And let me tell you what one of my greatest fears is dying is death. I get into a can of worms as to why. Pretty common though by the book's like I don't know what is going to happen.


The lack of control, the fear of that experience because who the fuck knows what's going to happen once that happens. But after reading that, I am looking forward to my end of life care because I get to get all hopped up on nitrous and what a way to go out if you've had nitrous before at the dentist's, not whippets, you know what I'm saying?


Next story. Jennifer Lopez cut dancers from auditions because they were Virgos. And we're in Virgo season right now. September is here. Temperature's starting to cool down. Leaves will be changing colors here shortly. I'm not dripping sweat when I'm recording these shows now, which is very encouraging. I get to look forward to that for 8 to 9 months. So I, I to with it being September, it is my birth month.


So I am a Virgo. So just reading this headline, Jennifer cut dancers from auditions because they were Virgos. I mean, I don't know how I'm going to cope with knowing that I will never be a dancer for J-Lo. Like, and if you're a Virgo as well, and that is a life goal of yours, cut it out and find a new dream because you are out of luck.


Jennifer Lopez held an audition for dancers for one of her tours. She walks in the room and she said, Thank you so much. You guys worked so hard. By a show of hands. Are there any Virgos in the room? Can you just raise your hand? All the Virgos raise their hands. She looked at them and she said, Thank you so much for coming.


And they had to leave after a full day of auditioning for Jennifer. Most of the time at a dance audition, you're not getting paid. It's an audition. You're trying to get the job. You've been there since 10 a.m. and you are auditioning until 6 p.m.. She spent all that time. You're busting out all your moves, showing what you got for J-Lo, and then at the end of it, you just happened to be born in the wrong Zodiac period.


Oh, no. While there's no official proof that this story is, it is worth noting for fun that the on the floor singer ex-husband Marc Anthony is a Virgo. Her new husband, Ben Affleck, is a Leo. So I guess he's in the clear. I'll tell you something. If you're Jennifer Lopez or anyone and you live your day to day life with the thought of, hey, I don't deal with insert zodiac sign.


I just the vibe is not there. Even in the retrograde of the rising moon, sun, it's. I cannot deal with those people. I won't work with them. I just can't. They're toxic for my own setting. Rising moon, sun and even in Prograde retrograde and even when my horoscope is as on point as it could be, nothing. Even if my horoscope said Virgos are all right for you.


I can't do it. I just can't. Well, you're cutting out a 12th of the population and also deliberately wasting these people's times. I might. I might do something with this. I might become a Zodiac guest if that is the term where you're discriminatory against different signs. As a Virgo, I'm curious if that is a trait of my personality because virgins.


I don't fucking know. J.Lo, get your act together. Come on. Next story. Sydney nightclub bands staring without getting prior verbal consent. Let me read that. Against Sydney nightclub band staring without getting prior verbal consent. A Sydney nightclub has banned staring unless the person doing the staring gets the prior consent of the person they are staring at to continue staring.


A failure to do so could result in the police getting called. It's also discouraged people from coming if their sole purpose was meant to meet someone and to pick up. Club 77 and Darlinghurst in Sydney's inner east gave steering as an example of an action that would be in contravention of its new safety and harassment policies. In an Instagram post from earlier last month, the club said safety officers in pink vests would enforce the staring rules.


Okay, so I get it. If you're staring at someone creepily like you're not breaking eye contact, want to get in a frame here and you're being a creep. Not going to break eye contact with you, the viewer, if you're watching on YouTube this whole segment. Do I have your consent? I don't fucking give a shit staring at you.


So doing that is one thing, but just looking at someone, all it takes is for someone to go fuck, I got to blink. All it takes is for someone to go.


You're staring at me. Tweeted, We.


Call the safety officers in their pink vest. Come over and escort you and potentially call the police. How do you get the consent, though? Do you walk over like just head down, scooch in over. Hello, sir. Or madam, I wasn't able to get a look at you because I. We can't stare here. I was curious if I may ask and inquire about staring at you briefly so I can have a conversation.


Please say yes. I'm so uncomfortable right now. And then they have to say yes. You can stare at me or they can say No. But if they say no, then they also haven't given consent or received consent to stare at them. So it's just people down, just looking down. May I stare at you? No, you may not stare at me.


Okay, well, I'm going to look at my feet and walk to the other end of the club and ask someone else if I can stare at them because I haven't seen a face in 45 minutes. And I don't I don't know what time it is. I don't know even what's going on. I can just hear music and I want to look up and just take in the scenery of all the people having a good time.


But I can't get anyone to to consent to it. Yeah, well, it's a new policy and a rule I like. I would like to look at you too, but I would need consent from you as well. Well, if you haven't given me consent to look at you, I'm not comfortable with giving consent to you to look at me.


Good day. What the fuck? Again, I understand. If it's, you know, trying to deter the people, the creeps that are going in there and don't get some pussy, but stare at them. There's. There's a stair trick. Yeah, he wants them. It's like, no, don't do that. I mean, that's kind of universally agreed upon. But if you just lock eyes with someone for a second as you're looking around and then lock again, it's like the scene from Always Sunny, where they do the triple take and then that person says, No.


Stare.


Stare, and they alert the safety officers and pink. And then you go to jail for just looking tough. Very tough. Club 77 and Sydney. I still want to go and see what it's like if I ever find myself down under. Okay. Let's get in some wild news here, this next clip.


Hmm. Is so moist.


That's the wrong soundbite. We already did that. Those were turtles. Fucking next stop. Those are turtles fucking. This is wild news. And it is arguably related. Oh, I did that. Some war.


I old news.


Moist as well as we get into this man chopped off his own penis while dreaming about slaughtering a goat. And I do want to give a shout out to Mrs. Sway. She sent me the story. Thank you. This is why. I married you. You provide me content and I profit from your efforts. Love you. If you want to feel the same way, that same amount of love and exploitation of your contributions.


Please, if you find something, if it's sports, if it's clips, if it's a news story, send on my way. Instagram chunk. Underscore Sway. Tick tock. Same handle. Twitter same handle. Email it. Howdy. It's Sway Unlimited dot com. I'll be sure to share it. I'll be sure to give you credit because I mean, who doesn't want attribution? A man in Ghana reportedly chopped off his own penis while he was half asleep.


The man had been dreaming about slaughtering a goat when he awoke to sharp pains in his scrotum. When he looked down, he realized that through some form of sleepwalking, he'd picked up a knife and chopped off his genitalia. Though he doesn't remember doing any of this. The article that I got this from and I do want to mention that all the clips, because there is some that are blurred out, dude watching porn.


I'm not putting that up on YouTube just as it is wrong. I do a little bit of a mosaic filter to blur that out, but everything can be seen uncut, uncensored, all the links that are in all the shows you can access on these show notes. There's a link if you're listening. It's in the description. If you're watching on YouTube, all of them are there.


And I wanted to say that at this point because the link to the article for this story, this is what it said, a direct quote from the article, I don't know if it's been changed since then, but this is what it said in the article. This is just me copying and pasting and then adding a little bit of flair for a voice.


All right. Quote, I no remember how I carried the knife. Even if me I de confused.


Like they they wrote out phonetically the English which this man is in Ghana. I'm pretty sure English is not the native tongue there. So the publication was like, Well, how did this happen? And then they just sounded out what he said in English. I know. Remember how I carried the knife? It says D knife, d k and I f e even me I de confused.


Journalism is dead. You should be getting all your news here because this is the. This is the place for it. The man's wife rushed home and found her husband sitting on a chamber pot full of blood with his penis in his hand to prevent him from losing his manhood.


Uh, the wife right handed her husband a diaper and then took him to a nearby hospital for treatment. So, first off, you chop off your own dick because you were sleepwalking. And second off, your wife tells you to put on a diaper because we need to save your life. That's tough. I mean, you roll up the hospital on a diaper.


That's one thing. It's like, oh, you're fucked up. What happened? You seem to be bleeding. Well. Funny story. I'm wearing this diaper because I cut off my dick. According to multiple reports, the man suffered critical injuries from the accident, but they are not thought to be life threatening. So he gets to live. But what's the purpose to live when you don't have a dog anymore?


He's currently raising funds to receive surgery. Ooh. I feel like that window might be tight to get his dick reattached and it still be able to work. Hopefully I should look into this, but hopefully the the same onus of support that we had with the guy that changed all the gas prices to $0.69 on June 9th. Earlier in the year, he made like 25 grand in his go fund me hopefully everyone can relate to this and men especially.


What would you do if your dick got chopped off? Just donate a few bucks. Feel like I should. I need to look into it, though. I'll have more information if I can find anything. According to sleepwalking, dawg, up to 4% of adults are thought to experience sleepwalking. An episodes can last anywhere from a few seconds to half an hour.


The American academics of sleep medicine also found that 58% of sleep walkers have experience violent behavior during an episode, including 17% who expected experience pardon at least one episode involving injuries to the sleepwalker or bed partner that required medical care. So it's the whole thing. I mean, I think of the the scene multiple scenes from Stepbrothers where they both are sleepwalking and then know I'm going to wake them up.


Oh, no, don't do that. And they freak out and they, they beat the shit out of the dad. His name in the movie. It's been a while but yeah I guess it's true. I've never, I've never dealt with a sleepwalker firsthand. I think maybe once in my youth I did sleepwalk, but didn't chop off my dick, didn't hurt anyone myself or someone else.


Um, so it wasn't violent. But if I had taken melatonin, potentially a different story. Now the reference to Step Brothers and the story in that connection is in that scene where they wake up and Dale goes.


The car has no penis.


Well, this clown in Ghana has no penis as well. I don't mean to dig them too much. I mean, that's tough. It's not his fault. Kind of. But he did get a dick chopped off, and he did it by his own hand. Alrighty. Let's do some capitalism. It's time for a dose of capitalism. Live by consumer. Die. Super quick dose.


Because I'm running out of time here for eight plus infinity and for eight plus the monetary element of this show available at Sway Unlimited dot com. I want to open this up for you, for your viewers out there on the YouTubes. Just want to give a shout out to the homies that have supported to the show AJ Joe, Michael Davis, Reverend Tanner Mills Quinn and Tyler Fellows, as I say every week.


Thanks for your support. If you want to support on camera, if you want to support, go to the site. Sign up for a plan. Starts at $6.90 a month. You get some access. I actually will be restructuring that whole caboodle. I have some stuff for you, some perks. So, yeah, check it out if you will.


Okay, last segment and we will get out of here. And that, of course, is, of course.


The deep shot destroy that big old belly shop. You get the wrap. Was there a deep shot?


All right. Sports going to run through this. As I said at the top of the show, the NFL season is nigh this week. Actually, first game, it's going to be the Bills and the Rams Thursday night to kick off the whole season. I do want to remind everyone there's going to be a $100 pigskin pick and. There is one actually.


I actually help Mr. Swag get set up with it last night. Super easy. Go to the show notes on the podcast platform that you're listening on or on YouTube. Go to the description. There's a link there. You go to the pigskin, pick em deep shot, pick pot group on ESPN you enter and password is Josh is daddy all under case 17 Josh is daddy 17.


So password to get into the group, it's as simple as simple gets. Once you're in each week you can choose to pick. This team will win or this team will win. You go through the whole thing at the very bottom. There's a tiebreaker. Question In this game, how many total points will be scored? You put in your guess, you submit it and you're off and running.


You can do the entire season all at once or you can do it weekly. You can do a monthly, whatever. I would recommend doing it weekly because the season changes teams get better, teams get worse. I made my picks like a month ago now, but starting next week I will be running through those picks as we navigate through the season.


Now the big emphasis is that the season starts on Thursday. So if you're listening today, Tuesday or tomorrow, Wednesday or Thursday morning, sign the fuck up. Because if you do it after that, you can you're more than welcome to. But if you do it after that, you're going to miss out. You won't that game won't count. And at the end of the season, all the way down late December, early January, in that group, whoever has the most points, whoever essentially picked the most correct picks, they get 100 bucks.


So like I said, it's open to all. So check it out. Of course, I mentioned the Bills and the Rams are kicking off the season and there is a a buffalo bias here at the Sway Parade. A whole back story to it. I won't bore you with the details, but as you can see from the studio, a Josh Allen helmet.


You got Josh Allen up top here throwing a football. We love Josh and especially at this point in the year. With the NFL about to kick off, I'd be remiss if I didn't share some bills stuff. So before we actually have games, we have just another fun innocent Joshie boy Allen clip. But also shows his prowess and accuracy when dealing with balls.


Let's take a look at.


Sunk it so those are ping pong tricks you try to bounce it off of pan off a wall and then land it in a cup. I really wish because I mean, you see these videos all the time. There's this hole. The floor is riddled with ping pong balls. Obviously, he didn't sink it first shot, but I really wish I would have been some trick photography and be like Josh Allen accurate?


Oh yeah. And then just bing, bing, bing made it seem like it was on the first shot, but either way, they sunk it good on him. So looks to be mid-season form for Josh hitting that target. So I mean next we'll see him actually slinging footballs and hopefully winning a lot of games. I'm rooting for him, as you know.


All right. Next clip.


You know what the amount of experience you guys do bring back, just just how do you feel about this group and just their chances to go out there and compete this season? Well, I mean, the expectations. Oh, you. Oh, that hurt. You hear that one.


Coach just getting interviewed with his back to the field, which I understand for the shot. You got to see, you know, there's football stuff going on behind, but head on a swivel when you step out on that gridiron head on swivel group and he's just taking his questions. This looks to be a high school coach, taking his questions in the back and he's just answering a question.


His team's playing behind him. Hey, we might go one state, then this happens. Oh, she gets run over. You just got to be aware. All right. Next on the Deep Shot, college football has already started. I don't pay much mind to college football. You know, outside of the top 25, if they're playing, especially the top ten, the top five oh, they should.


Pretty competitive. General consensus is these teams are pretty good. Let's see what can happen. But in this lull right before the NFL season, Best Believe, I've watched a decent amount of college football in the last week and one of the games was unranked Penn State against unranked Purdue airing this aired on Fox right it's getting national coverage they don't have any NFL the show so let's show this college game and this is later in the game about halfway through the fourth quarter an interception and this had to be separated in two clips and I'll show you why I had picked so there's the interception went through there's is on the jets Chris Jefferson get to


the end zone he's close Denver's a little bit further down Purdue they go that's a pick six That's exciting in any league and he's celebrating with the team pointing up got your team six points Took the lead over Penn State shows a crowd it was at Purdue which to this day I don't know where the fuck Purdue is, but these people do in the stands because they're watching the game.


They're having a good time. Now what happens here? I'll continue playing the end of this clock shows the guy who made the interception, but then the clip ends. But that's not what happened. That's not where things ended. Because after a run like that first game of the season, whether it be nerves and jitters or whether it just be conditioning, you're not in you're conditioning is not where it is going to be.


Midway point or at the end of the season. You're still getting in shape from just having a hot boy, summer, whatever the fuck you did. So Twitter, all the main accounts just showed. Hey, look at this. Pick six. This is pretty neat. Look, football's back. And then I had to go to more of the fringe accounts. I mean, shout out to foot underscore basket.


It's a combination of football and basketball sharing this clip right? Dude had to have a good old fashioned YAC after running it back. I mean, he ran. He ran a good amount. See, what was this interception done? Yeah, he ran about six yards like straight from where he caught it all the way, the end zone and then, you know, bob and weave and back and forth, probably 80, 90 yards in total.


I mean, I'd puke too. And I actually have puked to get those nerves out. It's going to be a fun season. Okay. With that, we're running out. We're getting near the end of time here. So if you are the things that I can share on future deep shots, having you come back for more, but we're going to get out of here with some country strong.


So let's take a.


Look at this. Coaches don't play the week.


All righty. And as I do every single week, I have to get the cowboy hat on ten gallons and I have to be mindful not to break my headphones because technically they already are broken that once side that a snap last week.


Well, it's not moving.


Anymore it's just kind of stuck in a set position. So I really don't want to break these headphones because I spent a nice penny on them.


But if we keep.


The country strong, it's a it's a bit of a junior as it's a kid and you know, peewee football, they don't play around special and come to country strong. You got kids in there that potentially or, you know make the college makes the league do all that and then you got any other kids in there that their mom and dad just want to know and play?


And in reality, they were more interested in theater or dance or video games or what have you. So it's a good combination of competition, if you ask me.


And let's take a look at this here. Big old running back in slow motion. They're not even trying to tag him and he just greedy it out. And I would like to think if you're watching, if you're not watching, you should be. But if you are watching, you are you see this running back here? He's a bit larger ball.


He's big country, strong more than his fellow teammates. And I like.


To think that if his mom or his dad came in big sun, even blind tomb would let not. Four. We need to get you out, boys of football. I mean, straight up, I'm going to level with you. You're fat. We need to get you in shape and little man here is probably a pro at building buildings and getting Gold Scholar doing all that for not stuff he said, our daddy, I'll do it.


But I know where they're going.


To put me. They put me in the same place last year. I don't want to play on the line. I want to be a running back because you know, well, as I did, if I were to cut all this white, I'd have a running back somebody and Daddy had to take a second. Thank him. He's got a point.


All right. You can play running back.


And that's exactly what happened. He's running the ball here in the opposing team. I mean, they they went through their tack tackled remind you I mean, these are young taxis or maybe.


I don't know, seven year olds, eight year olds, maybe nine year olds, probably close to seven.


I mean, they're still learning the fundamentals of the game. But the big thing is you got to wrap up and take that man down if he's holding the ball. But his man to country strong, they just try to give him a little shove, but he gets it for six country strong. And like I said, he was playing for an hour before his mommy and daddy forced him to go play football.


So what do you do after you score? You hit that four down dance, cut ten gritty and it went to teammates, had to run him back for love. You don't put him on the line. You put the ball in his.


Hands.


Now. All righty.


Given that Coach is strong, is at the end of the show. Oh, this is interesting. We still have to pray to the almighty algorithm and it looks like I'm praying. Country strong ladies, strong clad.


Whatever the fuck my name is.


I'm doing the prayer.


So praying to the algorithm. Before we get out of here, please bow your heads to the.


Oh, my God, the algorithm. We've been praying for you for some time.


And we're still waiting. Still waiting for you to bless us with expose your.


Listeners.


And viewers. And we'll continue to pray to you, because in the digital space, you are the most high.


We give thanks to you and all that you do. Sword and podcasts.


Tell telling people.


Suggest 10 to 1, but really you're telling them what they should do, how they should think, and what podcast is worth a go by man. All righty. Maybe a different voice.


Shut up now. Maybe a different voice.


Praying to the almighty algorithm. Maybe a.


Little bit different of a tone and a vibe.


Of what they're going to hear.


Maybe will be blessed, but.


Should also mention that I mentioned this at the beginning of the show what you can do to help your offerings to the almighty algorithm.


Whether you decide to pray to it or not, share with friends.


Find a family member, cousin the sibling, hail even.


Your grandparents. Let them know about the swipe right. Tell them to give it a go. They're a bit older. Just direct them to the YouTube, just click on it forms. They don't know how to name that easy, right?


The heart actually and just share it. Subscribe Leave a review if you like it.


Leave a review if you don't.


Honestly Almighty algorithm.


The criticism.


Ain't a factor, but the fact that you said something is a factor.


So back some stuff.


So all that stuff, you're not going to be able to stop.