Sway Parade #23 Show Links




Sup y'all!


Here's all the links that we discussed on this week's episode:

 


Scrub My Clip

New fear unlocked

Big release

Wedding day jitters

Bee bang

Free the nipple

MOIST CLIP: Boob job refund



 


The Deep Shot

Josh Allen Bills Training Camp Fight

Josh Allen Slip and Sleep

Don't deny Josh Allen a handshake

Bills Mafia begins training camp

Choke me daddy

COUNTRY STRONG: Big splash


 



Lil Bit'a News

Klondike looking at bringing back Choco Taco after consumer uproar

WILD NEWS: Grandma’s Dying Wish Was a Giant Dick on Her Grave


 

Transcript

A compilation of video could just drown Mac diving into the wild. Oh, my God. It's this Sway parade with shark sway.


Welcome into the Sway Parade. My name is Chuck Sway, and this is the parade. It's brand new, and hopefully it's enough of an excuse to explain why I've missed a week. Because there was no show last week. Because I just missed it. But if you're watching on YouTube, you can see through multiple camera angles that we're in a new space.


The parade hasn't really moved. It's the same space as before, but new and improved. Everything is here. My P.S. It's a one stop shop for making the show. Editing it everything. I can do everything here. So I mentioned in the last rendition of the studio when I made the first move into this room that I would do a tour.


But there was something about that space that was like, Oh, it's a studio, but it's not everything. Well, now it is everything. So I will be making a studio tour showing all the fun gadgets that I have here and how I do this one man band man show without a C, by the way, I will mention it is August, so there's going to be some poisonous in part in addition to the moist this clip.


I mean, I'm already I'm already starting to sweat. I had a fan on earlier, but I mean, come on. This is an audio medium. I can't do that if it's all you hear now, I take shortcuts. No, I don't. I make sacrifices that I do. And speaking of sacrifices, as the sweat is starting to bleed, I'm, what, two, 3 minutes into this already?


It's going to be a wet one, folks. It's going to be a wet one, indeed. But I want to start off picking up where I left off. This would have been last week's show had there been one. And actually, before I get into this, oh shit. I just shot on camera while spoiler alert, we got Vegemite. It's going to be here in a second, but I got to take care of some things.


First off, I'm moving the release date to Tuesdays just so I get that extra day. I typically record on the weekends, but sometimes weekends are a little bit jam packed in this last weekend. This is no excuse for missing last week, but this last previous weekend I was in the wilderness. I was in the shit as they say, camping in the mountains, no cell service, no electricity, just a tent, some dogs, some water, some friends in good times.


So I'm moving the date to Tuesdays for the sweat parade so this doesn't happen again. I want a main tain consistency. I want to deliver for the viewers and the listeners out there. And speaking of that, Vegemite, that's exactly what I'm going to do, because on the last episode we had a caller call in to our number and I'll put it right there on the screen for you on the bottom, if you're watching 818275 Sway, the phone is now back here.


It's not hooked up to anything. It's just a problem. Call that number. Leave any sort of message. You want a request, a story, anything. Let it ride. And one of the callers asked, Hey, have you ever tried Vegemite? And to my response, No, I never have. So what did I do? I want to grow. Amazon ordered Vegemite Yeast Extract Product of Australia.


Since 1923, 99 years they've been doing this, making this stuff. It must be good, at least for people down under here in the States. We're about to find out, because I also have not one but two pieces of toast that I will apply the Vegemite to first time trying it. And if you recall from the last episode we had that little jingle from Rocket Power.


When I get it stuck in your head again, if it flighted that and.


You might be on your morning nine.


So I'm about to find out if it truly is yum yum. Morning, noon and night. So again, never tried this before. I've really only known it from. I don't know if I said Rocket League, Rocket Power, the television show for kids, but that's all I know of it. So I've never tasted it. I've never tried it. I've never smelt it.


I'm about to smell right now. It smells sweet and earthy, if that makes any better sense. All right. I'm going to push the mic away here for a second. Get far away. I'm going to apply the Vegemite with maybe a drop of sweat to the first piece of toast. Oh, it's dark. It looks like dark. Dark. Drawn a blank.


The the hazelnut spread. Fuck, I have no idea. You know what I'm talking about? You're probably screaming at yourself right now. The hazelnut spread that everyone loves. This looks like the dark version of it. I just want to say Vegemite. I know it's not. All right. Going on to the toast. It's dark. It's very dark. And every time I hear a toast things up, I put things on my toast.


I'm typically a butter man, mostly, but I like to spread it on liberally. So I'm going to get a good ole helping of this and this will be a live reaction of what Vegemite tastes like to my virgin taste buds of such flavor already put this away. There's a number again, though. I kept it up there for a while.


818275 Sway. Maybe if you try Vegemite, give it a call. Let me know what you think. All right, here we go. The toaster will burnt. There's a bit of salt to it. Like a lot of salt. One by then. It's not terrible. I don't know if it's good yet. Hold on. Hmm. I apologize. How about it? If my lips smacking is not ideal, listen to.


I would agree. Okay. To bite. Send it really salty. Like almost sour salty of a taste. Go for three. I mean, the salt of it although it's pretty intense pairs nicely with this Dave's killer bread. I don't know three bites in three like big bites to look I mean that the slices almost gone. It's like if you take if you're eating sushi and you take soy sauce, soy sauce is great in small amounts on your sushi because you know you're going to smacked in the face with all that sodium.


This is the bread, the toast equivalent. I think this is how this is enjoyed down in Australia and New Zealand. It's like that. I might have put a little bit too much on, but it's just I just am tasting like really salty. Now one more thing. There's another flavor though. It's a lot of sodium. There's another flavor there.


But I can't put my tongue on it because my tongue is covered in salty flavor. It's like, Oh, man, trying to do what they do with wine and just kind of swirl around my mouth. The aftertaste. Oh, just like earthy salt. Like, not what you get in. I like table salt in a can. This is like salt that was mined from the source.


And then you just took a big, huge crystal of salt and just licked it and salt some dirt on it. That's Vegemite. I remember I have this little bit of sliver left and the sweat is flowing. That fan was making a big difference earlier in the day. One more megabyte and I'll give my final review on Vegemite for I mean, I don't necessarily know what yeast is supposed to taste like just straight up.


This is an extract of it. It's just salty. I'm doing a little tongue punch. Yeah. I don't know, young man. Morning, noon and night. I don't know if. I don't know if I agree with that. It's different. It's not what I expected. I thought it was going to be sweeter, but there's really no sweet. It's kind of like a harsh sodium salt.


It punches you in the front of the tongue. And then once you get it down like it, I feel like a slight burning in the back of my throat. And that's the might, I guess so. I mean, I bought this whole this is an Australian 220 grams of it. What I have it again maybe if I needed a salt pick me up.


And this almost seems like it's the equivalent of like with horses they do the salt blocks, the horses just lick it. I think this is just in more of a creamy form. So first impressions of Vegemite, it's really fucking salty. Do I endorse it? Yeah. If you like salt, go for it already. Well, that's what you get when you call in the show.


I deliver. It might take a couple of weeks, but I make it happen and you get some water because the salt is just there. I can't go on doing a whole show. Oh, already. Now let's move on. This is a one time thing. It's a one off. But getting into the meat and potatoes of the show, a few segments we scrub clips, we check the news and we do deep shots, sports.


And I think in that order this week, starting off scrubbing clips, scrub Meklit clips. This is a follow up from last week. Switch cameras here. This is a follow up from last week where the clip just didn't show up. The video got taken down on the platform that was hosted on. So I had to go out and find it manually.


It's a new fear that's unlocked and I will show you what I mean right. So there's a diver right here and an ad. What the fuck? So as a diver here and he's underwater, of course, as most divers do, and he is underwater, a lot of glove action right there. It looks like there's like a shipwreck or something, some driftwood that's sunken down.


Whatever's in the water, he's sticking around with it. And more glove, more hand crawling along. It looks like he's kind of going along the seabed on this, like, little rinky dink rope. And lo and behold, above, oh, my butthole is puckering. It's not just the surface. There's this big, large darkness here where you think the surface would be, where you can hear it.


Oh, oh, oh. I know it's a video, and I know it's just on screen and I'm not living it. But this is like a new fear that I had no idea. It's like a tanker ship, like a big cargo ship that just goes off with no idea the diver's there. I mean, how could you? Oh, but you think, oh, I'm like, I don't know why I'm so uncomfortable, but I am like, it's just like the ultimate fear.


Like one thing. Like, I'm not even claustrophobic. I've only been scuba diving in a pool, but still, like, you're down there, you have to control your breathing. You can't go up too fast or you get the bends. It's a trip, right? Humans are not supposed to breathe underwater. And this guy, I think he's doing it professionally. I mean, I don't think many people dove on.


I can cargo ship routes I mean even that noise it sounds like I mean, that's that's the audio that's being captured by the GoPro that this diver is wearing. But it just sounds like it's like just a horror like creepy violin, like me.


We, we, we, we.


Oh, my God.


He turns his camera. I'm still alive. I should be fucking dead. Oh, I'm, like, having a little bit of anxiety right now because I, I oh, I don't even know how I would handle that. I would shit myself. And then the sharks would smell my tasty shit, my vegemite shit, swim up and eat my ass. Because, I mean, at this point, it's like I should have died under the boat.


And you just hear that. You hear the ship just going along. I'm going to go back to where you can see the prop again. I'm going to keep the audio off because that just it's too real. So he's like holding on. He must be getting caught in the tow, the drag, the whatever you want to call. Oh, there's I mean, it's a GoPro, so it's a wider angle lens.


But I mean, he's maybe ten feet from this fucking prop and it just goes over him into an abyss. I mean, you can't see and you see the bubbles are kind of going towards where the prop was. It's like the wake of the ship. Oh, I would eat my weight, whatever my weight is, and grams of Vegemite before I'd have to do something like that.


Holy shit. Oh, okay. I'll check out the next clip. It's a lot less butthole clenching. This was submitted by listener Eric. So if you are just listening, this is a kid playing Minecraft. It looks like with what I think is where you take it on TikTok and Instagram reels, they just throw the audio over it and it's just a big old fart.


Oh, oh.


The kid is standing in the middle of the living room, maybe five feet away from the TV, just staring at it, playing Minecraft and the way that he's standing, even though I'm pretty sure the bed of this audio was put over the original video, the way that this kid is standing is looking like he is properly shitting himself.


He's got his knees kind of bone outwards a little bit. And if I didn't hear that fart sound in other videos, I would think, By God, that kid almost shot himself. And personally, I can relate to this because the biggest fart that I have ever had was when I was just a wee chap, just like this little kid.


My stomach hurt and that's what the caption said. My kid, my tummy hurts. And then that's what happens. It's exactly what happened to me as a kid. I told my mom my tummy hurts and then my mom's just like, okay, cool. Like, you're going to have to deal with that for the rest of your life. Just get used to it.


She didn't know. And then I laid on the ground, killed over in pain for maybe 5 minutes. And then finally, the longest, most acoustically perfect fart exited my body. I mean, I want to say this was a long time ago, but I want to say it was a solid 15/2 fart, just constant out of my ass. So you tell me that the kid did this.


I, I believe it. All right, next clip, more kids sort of wedding more. A little girl behind just throws up. It's okay. Okay. Or action. So at a wedding, the shot is on. The bride and her platoon of bridesmaids. And you have the the little girls here as well. And they're reading it out. I mean, the bride is you know, she's stoked.


She's about to get married. And whether it's her kid or one of the bridesmaids, these kids, it's a partner together with you. She just it shoots out just yaks. There's only kids can, like, kind of tried to cover the mouth but I mean, this is a constant stream and it just looks like it's Pepto Bismol. Like they tried to suppress it before the ceremony.


They're like, oh, whatever, just get out there. Just try to keep it down. If you feel bad, just step behind us, okay? Honey, not enough time. Everyone's been there. Pukes. Come quick So everyone turns around like you're going to ruin my fucking day You little fucking kid And oh, the oh, the groans in the crowd. Like, okay, like just one.


Let's get it over with. Let's move on. It's okay. And then the second wave, at that point, the bride just like, just don't get on my fucking dress. You do not know how much. Just cause you don't want to know the action. She and then the guy that comes over. I mean, this is a parent thing. I can't relate to this.


The guy comes over, puts his hand on his kids mouth, or might not even be his kid, just like, Oh, let's not go for a third time, mom. I mean, kid vomit on your hand. That makes me want to puke. Okay, next clip. This one was submitted by Mrs. Swayze. It's a B on another B, throw in back shot so hard that the frequency that its wings are buzzing, the bumblebee buzzin is changing because it's just him getting that bee dick in.


I mean, listen to this. Oh, you know how bumblebees, you know, they say that if they sting you, that's like there were their one shot. Like they get that in and then they die. So it's seem to become like the bee nuts in a lady bee. Is that it? Does it just instead of, you know, the stereotypical dude finishes and then oh, so tired and then falls asleep because of all that energy expelled through the penis.


Is it the same as bees bee busting nut? And then just. Oh, I'm just going to go lay down and die. You take care of the kid. It pukes at the wedding of your next bee husband. It's not my fucking problem. I don't know. That was wild. I'd never seen bees fucking you. Probably haven't ever either. But now you have next clip.


Here we have a reel of I mean, just watching it, you would assume, like, why the hell is it just a guy on the beach and in his backyard with his shirt off? The crazy thing about this is this guy used to be a woman, but as standards go in 2022, the nipple is free if you identify as a man because his nips are out, you wouldn't think twice of it.


You have it. That first one here, let me cycle back. The first one, they're kind of taped off like earlier in the transfer mission of, you know, doing the hormone therapy and all that stuff on the beach, enjoying life as a man. And then a little bit later, no need for tape. Let them tits out because you're a man now.


You don't have to worry about it. Instagram's not going to give a shit that your tits are out, because guess what? You're man now you got to be a man to show them tits Instagram. Okay, woman keep it veiled behind a very thin layer of cloth. Just ride the line a little bit. So that was pretty cool. I mean, Instagram's all about equality.


We got tits out. Now, the next step is just to free all nipples everywhere. It doesn't matter what you identify as. Take your tits out. And now, rounding out this clip, speaking of tits, there is a moist clip that we're going to get to right now in the moist clip, this next clip.


Mm is so moist.


There's a reason why most of these clips are blurred out on YouTube. It's pretty much just to protect from copyright infringement. Even though I'm providing commentary I'm not going to get into. My lawyer said don't talk about it, so I'm not. But there's going to be extra bloggers on this one because there are going to be lady tits.


I can't show the lady tits and show the guy tits all day long, but this is a lady. And if you or someone you know, a loved one, friend and acquaintances ever gotten a boob job, you're aware that they cut open the titties, they put that spongy bag in your tits and make them look bigger. The thing that most of us probably have not seen what happens when one of them titty bags goes and pops and these people were kind enough to show you the terror of such an event.


Take a look.


It's actually fucking sick, right? Oh.


What? Oh, so this lady is in her bathroom, but ass naked. I know it's a lady because you can see her vagina. I don't know how she identifies, so I apologize if I jump to conclusions, but I'm pretty sure this person was born a woman and her tits are out and her tits are leaking and she's squeezing it out.


And it.


Like right now, I mean, is this.


So this is what £15,000 gets you? And then when the doctor turns around and says that you got to pay to have it redone, he left you like that.


One of her titties is done. Normal looks like a successful boob job. The other one is two times the size, not what was requested in the initial consultation and leaking. Was it silicone? Whatever it is.


This is the top doctor.


And she's just squeezing it out of her tit, like draining out her tent. And I'm like, this is what, £15,000 get you get your pop to that gravel pocket.


Yeah.


Oh, oh. And this idea that you, uh.


I shows the ground. It's not clear. It looks like the water and flint. It's like a murky brown. That's what's in your titties when you get a boob job.


And see their right. Because the. Oh, it left you like that.


And it's up, like, right on like the side of the titty. Oh, fuck. Mm. Well if you have your tits done, I mean hopefully they're staying strong and not leaking and if you're thinking about getting a boob job, maybe think twice because £15,000, whatever that is in USD slot, things can still go wrong. Sometimes your tits are like, No, I don't want this.


Or the bubble bursts or you flopping them around too hard, whatever. Then your titties go bursting and Oh my God, that's tough. That's really tough. Oh, okay. Well, moving on with the show, tits aside, there's a new segment on the show, and it's pretty much where I tell you where you can buy stuff because needs money to run the ship over the diver.


So this is a dose of capitalism. It's time for a dose of capitalism. Live, buy, consume, die. All right. As I said, money is a big thing. We all live and die by money. 15 grand on a pair of tits or just a few dollars to help out the show. That's right. I'm talking about parade plus shout out to AJ, Joe, Michael Davis, Reverend Tanner, Mills, Quinn, and Hyla, you want to help support the show monetarily at the Sway Unlimited dot.com plus pricing.


Pick a plan that works for you. I will say right now I'm in there taking the idea of starting a Patreon just to move all this stuff over. But for the time being, it's all hosted on Sway Unlimited Rt.com lowest plan, $6.90 per month. Every single dollar comes and helps the show. The next step. There's two things, and I'm always wearing my skin and my Xbox.


Strap this wristband right here. Look at that. Xbox has a wide variety of styles to fit your personality, and they also include an inspiring message on each strap I wear, this one that I just showed every day and the message it's on it is either way, I'll be okay. In all reality, I went with this band because the color kind of matches the sway parade gradient, kind of that trix yogurt style.


But nonetheless, whatever style you have, whatever style you want, they most likely have it. Xbox can make your wrist pop and at a fraction of the cost of other wrist accessories. These things are like $10 a pop. You don't have to worry about buying a nice fancy watch, whether it be a regular one or an apple one. The woop boof, whatever the fuck it is.


You don't need to worry about that. It's a lot cheaper. You don't have to buy. Spend all that cash for someone to be like, Hey, that's cool thing you got on your wrist. It's like ten bucks. And if you're listening to the show, which I know you are, because here you are, I have a code for you to save 25% off of your first order at Xbox Dot L.A. It's not dot.com dot L.A., which is really weird because the company is based out of austin, texas.


But xbox dot l.a. You head there, you pick out the styles you want. Use the code. Dallas 68149. Now, for those of you who are curious, why is Dallas the code? Well, a little bit of back story on country strong cloud. Call them country strong call earlier. His name's country strong clan. That's where he's from. From Dallas, Texas.


Here's the code. The code is going to be on the show notes if you're listening. It's also going to be in the description if you're watching on YouTube and if you just happen to be over on my Instagram, it is in my bio. So check out the link in my bio.


You didn't get to.


Check it out again. Xbox Dot, L.A. saw the situs and code Dallas 68149. I reached out to them. I said, can I get a different code? This is kind of a long and confusing code. They're like, Yes, sorry, but use that code. Dallas 68149 at Xbox. That'll save 25% off of your first order. Next. Just trying to make a living out here grinding, picking companies to see what do I want to promote what I want to try to make a buck off of.


And that benefits your life as well. Well, it's always a good move to go with a local business and seeing how the swap rate is based out of the Pacific Northwest. It's only fitting that this dose of capitalism features a promotion from Amazon, the world's largest small business. They're down in Seattle. I'm close by for a limited time.


I'm splitting all Amazon commissions 5050. When you use my Amazon store code to make an order now, you're probably wondering how does this work? Well, first off, I mentioned that code. You need to use it. You've got to visit Amazon at my store link. I have one. It's again in the show notes on YouTube. It's the link in the bio.


It's all over there. You click on that, you're taking the Amazon from there. Basically everything you purchase from going to that link tracks and gives me a commission of whatever you buy. There's various tiers of percentages of commissions, what have you now where I couldn't find any other creator that is doing it the way that I'm doing it.


They just say, Hey, you can go buy this on Amazon. I get a kickback from it. Thanks a lot. Now I'm offering 5050. Whatever the commission is, I'm going to slice it in half. Half of it's for you. So once you go to the link, Amazon regular looks normal. You do your regular Amazon shopping, you make the order.


And once you do, I need you to take a screenshot of that order and send it to Howdy at Sway Unlimited e-commerce email for the show. Once I see that, that's all your order, I'm going to cross-reference it with my dashboard. See? Okay, this, this, this and this. Here's what I made for commission. You get half of it.


So, for example, the Vegemite right here, if you wanted to get your own Vegemite to try it out, if you don't think that my explanation of how salty it is is that salty, use the Amazon link, order it yourself. We both make a little bit of money. So for example, the commission on this 220 grams of Vegemite yeast extract from Australia since 1920 399 years.


You buy that using that sterling code? I get a commission of $0.09 since I'm doing 50. 59 of course is not easily broken. I'm not going to give you half a cent, I'm going to give you $0.05 back. Now, obviously it's a small percentage, but hey, it might help. And larger orders. I mean, this was ten bucks on Amazon larger order.


So should adds up to funds, beer, money, what have you. Yeah that's the plan. So consider shopping with Amazon with the Sway Parade, custom store code and safe look at that timing to right at the end of the bed. Yeah, it's almost over. I'll faded out though, but yeah. If you have any questions, it's interesting. It's a little bit extra steps, but hey, you get money back just for spending some money and just for helping me out.


Helping a small business out by using a larger small business like Amazon to do so, piggybacking right in the coattails. All right. And that's dose of capitalism. And there's some other offers in the coming weeks that I will be sharing. Actually need to check my phone. Really quick to make sure where I'm at on time. I'm actually smoking ribs right now.


All right. I'm a step away for a quick second. I got to go flip my ribs and then we'll be back with some more parade. All ready. My ribs have been flipped and now we can continue on with the parade. Let's move on to the deep shot. Kurdistan. Look at that big old belly shop. You get the rough.


Was there a deep shot? All ready? Time for the deep shot. And the NFL pre-season is underway and this isn't a bills podcast, but we sure as hell are going to cover bills, especially Josh Allen stuff you could see from this camera angle, the Josh Allen signed football and then up top there's the the facsimile signature big Josh Allen fans over here on the Sway Parade.


And so there's some clips that I just want to share with you what Josh Allen is up to in training camp thus far. Let's take a look. All righty. Josh Allen and training camp getting a little scuffle, kind of a dogpile of sorts. I mean, there was a little bit of a bump there just running through some place.


I mean, this is a team that will be contending for the big game, but I can't say because it's copy written and I respect that. But I mean, the buzz around Buffalo is this team's going to go all the way. And of course, you're going to have players going have dogs out there that want to win and quarterbacks, they wear that red jersey because it pretty much means don't fucking touch the guy.


And so there was just a little bang, wasn't a whole lot of nothing. There's a freeze frame right there, just a just a little bounce. But Josh didn't take a liking to this guy. You see this red shirt? You can't touch me. So don't. Then I got a little frisky, a little shove, but they're teammates. I believe Josh Allen came out and said, Hey, man, I love football Milfs.


And that's the name of the game. And also another clip from the training camp right here. Oh, got a bit of a slip up. And Josh knew what he did. He just slept there. Practice. And it's early in the season. It's not even the season. It's pre-season training camp. But he slips and is just goes face down. It's kind of plays it off.


Like I made a dinky move. I saw a screenshot this though and I got really nervous because it's like, why is Josh Allen dead on the field? But the greater context of things where you go, Oh, he just slipped. He's going to get his footing. Team's going to win the big game and going to be a grand old time.


And more of Josh Allen at training camp this is addressing the media, which I guess you consider I'm part of the media. If I get Josh Allen on the show, I mean, it'd be cool, but I think it'd be a little weird because I would just be doodling. I'm like, Why is you're such a great quarterback. I have so many.


I have things that are signed with you that you actually touched, but also someone took your signature and put it on the print. And I have that, too. I'm. I've been obsessed with you since you were a rookie. Ah. What? What's your favorite color? Might be a weird interview, but hey, if you know someone that knows someone that knows someone that knows someone that knows Josh Allen, they say, hey, maybe go on this podcast lighthearted.


Maybe it fits his brand. Maybe it doesn't. I don't know. I mean, we featured Buffalo RF He was doing shotguns every day until Josh Allen shotguns with him. I haven't checked in on him in a while. I hope he's doing okay. He might still be shotgun. And we were at like day 72, three, four months ago. He might still be going, but nonetheless, your quarterback, you got to talk to the media and this is what happened here.


Josh Allen, have a great year to you all. All NBC's sports bills camp. This is peter king. All the best to you. You still got it? Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. You hold that handshake. There's nothing more awkward than going for a handshake, going for a high five, going for a hug, going for whatever. And you get stood up.


But when you're a competitor like Josh Allen, you lean into it and you wait to be acknowledged and recognized for the handshake that you deserve for doing this interview. That's exactly what it did. He played it off like a champ. Josh Allen, have a great year. Thank you.


All.


For NBC's sports Bill's camp, this is Peter King.


All the best to you. Shake my hand. Thank you. Like the guy on the plane. Oh, shake his hand. And McGregor. And that was Josh Allen's inner monologue. He goes in all ownership, these guys can go on, dammit, just help me out. It should be a good season. Let's go on to this next clip. This was submitted by listener Eric.


He also submitted the kid shitting himself or at least farting himself or at least maybe just a soundbite of a kid shitting and farting himself. But nonetheless, Eric has been active with sending some stuff and I encourage you to do the same thing if you find a clip. Sports Related Clip related. NEWSREEL it doesn't matter. Send it my way.


Chuckling of course way. I will throw it out of the show and I'll give you props. So, Eric, this one's for you. It's a twofer on the show. Oh, I almost missed this clip. Two one of the parade plus members. He submitted this clip. I would have never known about this this botched handshake if it wasn't for Davis.


So, I mean, Miss Sway, like everyone, this is a collective a collective creation. Here you find some weird shit, funny shit, sad shit. Maybe set in my way. Also, don't forget to call the hotline 818275. So I just got to plug that one in there. But Eric is on the prowl for bills. Mafia is also in there training.


As you know, Bills Mafia is known for smashing tables. And I've been saying it, I think, since the beginning of the show, since it started back in February, March, whenever it was that I still owe a debt to listeners who tuned in to the Deep Short when it was a full podcast that I will go and I'll smash the table.


It's still on the table to smash a table, but it's like this here training for there's going to be a lot of smashed tables in Buffalo. If you own a table company in Buffalo New York your stock I mean you know it is bout to be go season this football is right around the corner and this is probably what bills mafia are going through right now just trying to smash tables.


It's still pre-season, still practice in, you know, make sure you to slam through because the best thing about a table smash is actually smash in the table. You actually have to do that to be bills mafia. So this guy, whether if he's a Bills fan or not, he's trying to do Bills Mafia shit and he's got some learning to do.


I hope that on my attempt it'll be a lot smoother than that now, I mentioned the streaming that I want to do for the upcoming NFL season, but also what I am going to do because it's already set up and I want you to participate as well, is ESPN's Pigskin Pick Pickup very simple game. You don't even need to know football because I know some listeners don't give two shits about football, about sports.


This whole segment is just skip through, skip through, skip through. Yeah quit jerking off about Josh on we fucking get it Come on, come on, come on. This is a part where you should stop because you have a chance to win $100 out of my own pocket just for playing this pigskin. Pick up what you do every week.


Or you could do it all at once. At the beginning of the season, you pick the teams that you think are going to win in each matchup, and at the end of it, it's the whole NFL season. Once we get through the whole thing, whoever has the most correct picks, I'm going to give one bucks and it's open.


There's no obligation. Just join in. Pick. I like this team. I think they're going to win. Ooh, I don't really know sports, but a falcon is pretty cool. I think the Falcons are going to win. Whatever your strategy may be, you could win $100. Now, the link to this is in the bio, so check out the link in my bio.


You dingus is. It is also in the show notes. It's on you. Anything where there has to do with a link, it's going to be in one of three places. Instagram, bio, YouTube, video description and the podcast show notes. If you're listening on an audio platform like Apple Podcasts or Spotify, it's all going to be there. So this is how you sign up.


You click the link, it's password protected. That password is Josh is Daddy all under case all one word. Josh is Daddy. 17 You joined that league you pick every week and you could win some money, $100, as I just mentioned. And with that, we're going to go through the picks for week one. It's a little bit premature because week one doesn't start until September 8th.


It is by the time this comes out August 16th. So a few weeks out, we don't know who's going to be hurt. We don't know what team where they're going to be. We're going to start this off. We're going to wait a few weeks. I'm going to be plugging in each week, but I might get my picks out of the way.


Feel free to copy me if you feel so free to do so. But I mean, I encourage you to pick your own picks because I'm going to lean bills because it's kind of an obligation. We did this on the deep shot in 2020, 2020, and we did in 2020. And it was it was a fun time. So we're going to get right back into that.


I'm going to run through these picks. First off, switch cameras over here. All right. Opening this season, game one, the Buffalo Bills and Los Angeles Rams. I got to go, Bills. All right. Next game, Saints and Falcons. I really like that. They say, you know, hey, 92% of people pick this team. I'ma do the same. I haven't done a whole lot of reading.


My fantasy draft for fantasy football is this week and I have not done any research yet. I hope that anyone in that league, if you're listening, it's a little bit inside of that. I don't really know what the fuck I'm going to be doing. I'm gonna go with the Saints. So next game, 40 Niners in the Bears, 49 ers seem to be a pretty good team.


Bears not so much next matchups. Steelers and the Bengals. I got to go with the Bengals. Joey Bart Joseph Burrow. He's a baller eagles in the Lions. The Lions, I believe, are on hard knocks this season, showing how much of a dog shit team they're going to be. Not probably amount to anything. I'm gonna go with the Eagles, I think.


Gardner Minshew, WSU alum. I think he's still. The Eagles will go with them patriots and dolphins oh two are Mac Jones at the quarterback helm I'm gonna go dolphins give me dolphins Ravens and jets It'll be a cold day in hell when I pick the jets jets? Ah, fucking ass Jaguars and the Washington commanders formerly known as the Washington football team.


And before that, formerly known as Look It Up. I'm they would go with the Jags Jags got a new coach that probably gives a little bit more of a shit about their team than the previous dude. Urban Meyer Browns and Panthers. Browns, of course, have Deshaun Watson who has been going through some court battles in regards to sexual assault.


I don't want to support a team that supports a sexual predator. So give me Panthers, Colts and Texans. Texans are going to be good for a while. I'm pretty sure they never really been good colts. So they're ballers. They got JT a running back he likes to run the ball. Seems pretty solid. Giants and Titans got to go with the Titans.


Giants are Danny dimes is not that's if you need a dollar Danny dimes only gets you a 10th of the way there Packers and Vikings. Ooh, that's a tough one. Aaron Rodgers with the mustache and the psychedelics and the COVID drama. He stole a ball or give it to me, chiefs and Cardinals. And we covered it last week.


Kyler Murray for the Cardinals has a stipulation in his contract he's got to do his homework or he don't get paid. You know what? I'm going to go against the grain here. Give me the cardinals in this game. I think Kyler Murray is going to be prepped because it's the first game of the season. I think the Chiefs are you know, they're coming off of being a really good team for the last long while.


I think they're going to stumble and it's week one. I don't think they're going to give too much of a shit. It's outside of the conference. Give me the Cardinals. Raiders and Chargers. You got Sherbert and Derek Carr, who? I think the Raiders are going to be decent this year. I also think the Chargers are going to be quite decent.


So give me the more white decent. Give Chargers, the Bucs and the Cowboys hard pressed to pick the Cowboys. Cowboys are just a disappointment. They're not. America's team red, white and blue. That's in Buffalo, New York. You better believe it. Give me the Bucs and Thomas Brady. And then lastly, this Monday night match up, Russell Wilson going back to Seattle Broncos country.


That's right. 6% of people pick the Seahawks. They're probably all in Seattle thinking, oh, your Drew lock is going to be our guy. We'll be a good team. No, you're not. Give me Broncos. Broncos country. That's right. And here's the tiebreaker. So you usually do this on the pick comes how many total points will be scored in the Broncos versus the Seahawks?


I'm going to go for 42. Why not? Seems like a fun number. Picks are autosave and that is that it's African easy so pick comes again hit the link in the bio and the show and the description wherever password to that again is Josh is Daddy 17 you sign in, you just listen to what I did that whole charade, the whole spiel, that's all you got to do and you don't even have to live.


Commentator Just be like this one. Oh, this one or this one at the end of it, in at this time, like 19, 20 weeks from now, you can have 100 bucks just for tapping some team name. So check it out. Hardy to get you kind of in the spirit of the NFL as it is coming up and kind of steering away from excuse me, the bills, their first opponent, the Rams, they do have a fucking beast of a human.


And Aaron, Donald who will be dominant for years to come, he's been dominant for years. And this video surfaced of him at training camp taking some whimsical number 69. I don't even know who the fuck this guy is calling him over here. Hey, get over here. Meet. I need a train. Okay. What are we going to be training?


Net grabs, which makes me do this here. So because he grabs this dude by the neck and it's doing side shimmies. Choke you out, choke you out, choke you out top move, swim, move. Not so old because I quit. Oh, to be a rookie in the same position as Aaron Donald. I mean, if his neck wasn't sore, then it is now just.


Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fun too because he's got a poofy, a little bit of a fro going and it just has fly flying back is getting choked out by the guy that has been on Madden for like the last five years, put in the 99 club. They get to ratings. Like, what do we do about Aaron Donald? Like, is he slipping it all back knots?


It's getting a fucking 99 game. The cleats send him the fancy cleats already deep shot rounding out you know we got to do we got to get country strong.


Coaches don't play the weight.


And with it being country strong the studio is upgraded. I'd upgrade the wardrobe a bit too, so I'm going to take the headphones off and they're pretty wet because it's sweaty, it's hard out. August I take my hat off, let the sweat pour out and I'm going to suit up. The only way they you should be suiting up when you're country strong, you can get yourself a cowboy hat.


You're going to be looking to play whatever's going on in the clip, in style. You're supposed to be look in the bar. And now I am looking the part because I got myself a ten gallon hat looking like that. Damn it down my hair. Taking a look at country strong boom I try to put these headphones on best believe.


I mean I'm going to show you here for you viewers it don't work too well on on the headphones which were this just goes up it's like the the the bill of the hat Buffalo Bills the bill the hand is what's listen what is I flip it down sideways. They are good. Come and bring around here and I'm going to listen to Sideways because that's all I can do.


I mean, this head is massive and it's still an even from the big dome here. What big below whatever that you better believe you think you can go my head is going to veer. I mean, it kind of fits. It sits on top of my head, but the headphones is a bit problem that when we get to logistics of it all.


Arctic country drone let's check it out. Go in here. Hold on 1/2. Back again, dudes on side of Iraq, could you stroke big out, damn big old splash? It is a compilation of video Kurdish trout man diving into the water. Yeah, my ground. Oh, my goodness. I'm coming over a little bit of a cold, but a Kurdish trout.


Coleman lets out water to drown. Cold air for sure. There's a compilation of water go around the world this man is jumping in new. This man travels the world. He's got to be late for bear. My goodness. And he takes the map. He throws a dart at it. It takes. Where's the next place? I want to jump in the water.


And that's what he does. I mean, look at the scenery here changes. He's on a rock in some desert from brown water country down. He's on a pool. The French have cut his tongue, cut into some another leg with clear water cut down and then some rigging hood, you know, some well, some cave down forever. Waters cut to stretch.


Oh, my goodness. You best believe. I mean, we featured a big boy diving in the water before, but we didn't have. No compilation. We had a profile. We went down like, oh, look, he's in a bowl. Oh, look, he's in another bowl. Oh, my third boy. I mean, you're at the same pool room, same type of depth. This man is a world traveler for countries drunk diving in the water.


I've never seen them like in my life. And that is countries dry dry, hot, humid. Take this hat off and calm down a little bit and I'm just going to go back home. My goodness. Who probably the best investment I ever made was buying that hat. And the best thing about it is one. Oh, my God, there's literal, like, droplets on my headphones.


Fuck me. I'm in the hot hundreds of that piece of shit, but not not fat. I'm not going to call him fat. He's just big down in the water. But anyways, that hat probably the best investment I've made in this whole venture because of one I bought it off Amazon using that store link, made a commission split 50.


If you buy that same hat, I would have sent you like however much it was dollar. They made two bucks off of buying the hat. But also the best part about it, it's a tax write off. You buy a cowboy hat, it's a tax write off. You're in the right space. Whoo! Wow! All righty. Well, only way to follow that is to check out the news.


What's the big deal, fella? It's just a little bit news. Oh, just gets moister. I mean, these last few countries drawings have been getting real moist. Real moist, indeed. Okay, let's check out the news. What's going on here? Well, first story, Klondike looking to bring back Choco Taco after consumer uproar. We know this is disappointing. We've heard our fans and we're hoping to bring this favorite trip back to ice cream trucks in the coming year.


The ice cream dessert maker said in a tweet, A necessary but unfortunate part of this process is that we sometimes discontinue products, even the beloved items like Choco Taco. We know this may be very disappointing and hope you'll try our other delicious frozen treats. This is Klondike parent company Unilever. Unilever, however, you said, I guess this is kind of out of context or not context, out of order.


First they said, oh, this is really it's awful. We have to get rid of it like we're so sorry. And then people are like, The fuck you are. It's the Choco taco dude. And they're like, Oh, you know, we've heard it. We'll bring it back. Here's the thing. I'm not buying into this Klondike, Klondike bars, choco tacos. I mean, they're known for making ice cream and they're just probably looking, hey, how can we cut costs?


Let's get rid of the Choco taco. It's it just costs too much for us to make. Not enough people enjoy it. So let's cut it. And everyone's like, What? Our Choco taco? No, you can take that from us. And the same thing happened with Hostess and the Twinkies. They did the same thing. I think it's a ploy just to boost sales and interest.


Like no one's really talking about the Choco taco. It's one of the coolest ice cream desserts ever made. Hostess, like I said, did the same thing. It's like all the Twinkies, like it's an American staple, but we just can't do it. We're going to take it away. I take I Twinkies don't like okay will bring the Twinkies back just the boosters here for sales only fans did the same thing as well only fans is like well due to our investors we're going to just only fans is going to be no longer adult content and all of the people on only fans because 99% of people are showing their titties on a platform where they can


Instagram I'm still looking at you for that like all fine, then we'll just leave the platform. Good luck with that. And the only fans is like, you can find titties here. Come on in. So, chocolate taco, it just seems like a publicity stunt. Stunt? I've actually never had a choco taco. If you have, let me know if they're any good.


I mean, the idea seems like a stoner's paradise. You take a taco in ice cream. What? But, I mean, I guess I. I have to find it in the coming years. Coming back to ice cream trucks. There's none that come by my house, but I'm just going to go hunt down ice cream truck. Okay, let's check out this wild news.


Oh, I did that. Some war I old news. And this wild news is coming by compliments of Mrs. Sway. She did submit it to the show. Check out this headline. Grandma's dying wish was a giant dick on her grave before her death. 99 year old Catarina ODU Perez had one final wish. A giant statue of a dick on top of her grave.


Her family unveiled the completed monument, a five and a half foot tall cock and balls weighing nearly £600 mounted on her tomb at a cemetery in Mexico. This past weekend, this was a recognition of her love and joy for life. She loved that whiner. And if you don't believe me, there's the clock on top of her grave. A big old honker.


She had a particular affinity for penises and what she believed they represented. She always said in the Mexican sense that we were Virgos. There are few words in the Mexican slang as dynamic as Verga or verga, which is perhaps best translated into English as cock due to its general use of profanity. Depending on how it's phrased, Varga can be a brutal insult, telling someone to go fuck themselves when they Alvarenga or that they're not worth shit Valles Verga or it can be a compliment.


A badge of honor that is something is verga is cool or bad ass. She often used it with that sort of colloquial pride when referring to the members of her family as Vargas. You all are dicks in the good way, according to her grandson, that they were people of moral fortitude with integrity, Kurds, passion, and at the same time love and joy sort of penis meant to this family.


It took nearly a month and a team of 12 people, including a carpenter, a sander, a sculptor and a carver to build dick statue. They got particularly delayed on the ball sack when the first attempt was disfigured and they had to start the process again of melting materials to give it the necessary amplitude so that the testicles could be formed.


This was a this is a whole shebang of trying to make this stick. And can you imagine that request as a sander, sculptor, carpenter, you get this job that comes across your desk like someone, this old lady who passed away once a giant dick. Oh, I mean, we can do it. I just. I need to make some phone calls.


There is a video of the unveiling so you can get a reference because. Right. The picture was just of a dick. You don't know how big it was. But here's the unveiling. First off, I love how they just have the shaft and the head draped over in this red velvet. The balls, you see, it's just like, oh, my God, what is it like?


What could it be? Is she really like giraffes? No, that's a ball sack on the base. Then everyone's coming out for this. A spectacle. They've laid Senora Perez to rest, and now they're going to this deck.


To.


The family. I wish I knew Spanish. This is the deck. This is that Verga. Hello. I had subpoenas collapse all around shout out to the deck. It's kind of opened the door for all of us. If you don't want, like, a normal, boring headstone or just like a basic urn, go all out. If you want a deck, put a deck on your grave.


If you want a vagina, put up a giant on your grave. It you do whatever you want. Finally have the money. And you know someone that has connections to sculpt such a shape that you want. I say go ahead and do it. That's your legacy. You're going to be remembered for. Oh, yeah. You got a dick on your grave or.


Oh, you were related to the dick at the cemetery. That's how you introduce yourself. It's like, oh, hey, like, oh, we're from the same, same town. Yeah. Oh, do you know this person? You know this? Oh, have you ever been to the cemetery? Oh, I go there all the time. I've loved ones that are buried there. Yeah. You know, the giant dick that's there.


Oh, dude. Every time I look at that thing and I'm like, What fucking donkey got buried under that? I'm just like, actually, funny story. That's my grandma. She loved dicks, my verga. All righty. That does it for the news. One thing we skipped over I'm going to put it at the end of the show is the prayer to the almighty algorithm.


I really hope that missing a week. Oh, my God. Excuse me. Is that the Vegemite just coming up my throat? Pap. Oh, my God. Anyways, I hope I didn't piss off the almighty algorithm. I missing a week, but I figured maybe once the show is over, after it's all kind of put together, we pray so that we let the almighty algorithm know, Hey, we're here.


So at this moment, if it's safe to do so, I ask that you back of your heads as we pray to the Almighty algorithm, O Almighty algorithm, we're here again. Sorry for the slip up last week. Nevertheless, we're here to bask in your glory and ask for Your Grace. Getting this podcast off ground, more listeners, more enjoyment of such content, and more witnesses to your power.


Oh almighty algorithm. As we close out this show, we ask that you blessed in all the ways that you know how through the eclipse, through the sports and through the news. This was all for you. Amen. You talk about not breaking focus. I had a beat, a sweat coming down my nose. Am I going to open my eyes?


The face of the almighty algorithm? Hell, no. Oh. All righty. Well, I hope the prayers were answered. I hope that I'm able to wipe the sweat off more efficiently. I hope also that it's going to cool down. So future shows that again are coming out on Tuesday will be less sweaty because that's the goal. But before we get out of here, I just want to give a final shout out to all the supporters.


Spread plus Asia, Joe, Michael Davis, Reverend Tanner, Mills, Quinn and Tyler. Thanks so much, guys, for your support. If you want to hear your name every single week, you want help support the show as well. So Anthem, Intercom slash pricing, that's going to be it for this week. See you next week on the new day, which is Tuesday.


Thanks for watching. And hey, if you can go buy some Vegemite special on Amazon, you'll earn like $0.05. All right, Turtle. See you later.