Here's all the links that we discussed on this week's episode:
Lil Bit'a News
The Deep Shot
Scrub My Clip
Oh no. But Officer, there's a lot of common MI right now, so technically that could.
Developing into a person. So it's this sway parade.
With shark sway.
Welcome into the Sway Parade. My name is Chuck Sway and this is the parade. If you're brand new to the show, well, let me tell you what it's all about. We cover news, we cover sports. And we cover clips in a fun, lighthearted manner, as you would see on a parade ground. It's not for children. It's not that type of parade.
So keep them in the other room in another car. If you're listening while you're driving and enjoy, it's a parade for adults because we do get a little raunchy, but that's just kind of the nature of the game and the brand as it was. So other things that we do here every single week is, well, not every single week because the show still kind of new.
So the hotline isn't ringing off the hook, but every once in a while we do get a caller on the hotline. The phone is right there. It's old cell one, so ones you can turn on if you can hear that. I'm dialing eight one.
275 sway. And even though this is an old phone, it still has the letters on the number. So if you don't know where sway ends up on the dial pad, it's 7929. I mean, to throw a number up for the viewers on YouTube, there's the whole thing. 818275 Sway or 7929. You call that number, you leave any sort of message.
Just be aware there's no screening involved. The caller this week haven't listened to yet, no idea what it's going to contain. And that's just the fun of it. So if you feel so compelled and inclined to dial that number and I'll play it on the show, so this we do have a caller this week. Let's take a listen.
Hey, Ted Austin here. First of all, thanks for playing the what the three year olds see on their iPad. I wanted to share that one. Just just from your experience, I was at a restaurant a couple weeks ago, and basically, I think I saw the kid in that video just about because they were just absolutely covered in peanut butter.
I'm talking there's peanut butter on the iPad, on their fingers, up their nose, and they're like repeating back with the iPad is saying to them while they're at a relatively nice restaurant. Yeah anyways I wanted to to reach out and see if you'd be willing to try Vegemite on the show. I know these these Aussies, they're huge fans of this stuff and I haven't tried it.
And I don't think many of us Americans have tried it. And I really wanted to see what you thought and I wanted to get a live reaction. So maybe you can grab some Vegemite off line yourself, a nice piece of toast and slathered on it. So. Yeah. Thank you.
Austin. Thank you so much for calling. And of course, if you're going to share a clip, piece of news, a little bit of sports, maybe a country strong with me on social media. I Chuck underscore sway. I will happily oblige you and put it on the show if you're not familiar with the clip that Austin is referencing. That's a clip from last week with the caricature of a three year old with a fisheye lens of what the iPad sees, one, two, three year olds using it.
And peanut butter has just covered the face. And that's a very accurate representation as I have personal experience and as Austin has experienced as well. Now, if you were at, you know, a somewhat nice restaurant, you know, maybe a notch or two above an Olive Garden, you should probably just shouldn't bring your kid to that establishment unless you know you want to just take your reputation.
Children from the ages of zero to, I don't know, two, three should probably just be kept at home. Now you're probably thinking.
What about the socialization? They need to experience the world around them. Well, maybe. But maybe you shouldn't give them peanut butter when you take them out. Is making a fool out of yourself. You get peanut butter. Peanut butter is one of the most difficult things to wash off of anything. And so you get that in a baby's hair.
It's a mess. So leading into the question that Austin had posed, kind of going down under with the Australian, it's not peanut butter, but it's a type of spread the vegemite. Me personally, I've never tried it but that request again I will oblige. I am a servant to your entertainment, so I need a head up on the internet and see where I can get some Vegemite.
That's not going to cost me an arm and a leg to import. I will try my best for it to be authentic Australian Vegemite, but I might find some off branded American on Amazon. Who knows? But I will try it of course, Austin, because I mean, who doesn't like a raw experience of trying something? And if it's all sticky, you're going to hear every single flap of my lips on this microphone for you, the viewer, the viewers of the parade.
So, of course. So, Austin, thank you so much for calling. And again, that number is still at the bottom of the screen. If you're watching, if you're listening, grab a pen and paper or memorize it. The number is super easy. 818275 Sway 8182757929. That's the number. Go ahead and give it a call. Pose a question, tell a story.
Do. Austin checked all the boxes. So and we've heard from him before, I think under a different alias. I'll have you go back into the archives and determine who that caller might have been. Now.
Moving on, as.
We do every.
Is we need to tap in to the algorithms, the powers that be that spread the joy and cheer of this show. And how do we do that, you might ask? Well, we need to pray to God Almighty. No, heavens, no. But to the almighty algorithm. But before we do that, this is just my time to tell you. You can pray if you want to.
You don't have to. I welcome all religions, creeds, all that stuff. So don't you know, don't feel uncomfortable, be like, well, God might be mad. It's like he might. If you want to avoid getting smarted, then don't pray to the almighty algorithm. Pray to your God. But we you can do that is a tremendous help is do the normal stuff that the almighty algorithm is looking for that's likes that's reviews, that's subscriptions.
All of that stuff is going to help out. So I ask you whatever platform you're viewing, listening, consuming on.
Hit the follow button, hit the subscribe leave review, leave a nice comment, leave a naughty comment, anything. Let me know what you think and let the Almighty algorithm know what you think, because that's really who we're all doing this for. So at this moment I ask that you bough your heads if you're in a safe place to do so, and we will pray to the almighty algorithm.
Almighty algorithm. I stand before, you know, kneel before you in sheer order of your power and influence that you possess. I am. But who whimsical podcast host on a small show, but I hope one day it goes big and only with your help. Almighty algorithm shall I achieve this goal. Shall the listeners achieve this goal that one day millions of people will be praying to you in your grace.
Amen. I hope that they hear that because it's always from the heart. It's everything that I say. That's that's the only daddy that I pray to. Sorry, God say Jesus, sorry, Buddha, sorry, Allah, sorry.
Moving on as we move forward on the Sway Parade is our first segment and that is the news. What's the big deal, fella? It's just a little bit news. First story Skittles unfit for human consumption.
Nelly Mars, Inc. is being sued by a consumer who claims that Skittles are unfit for human consumption. A lawsuit was filed in Oakland, California, claiming in court documents that the candy contains heightened levels of type titanium dioxide. In a statement, Mars Inc spokesperson In a statement a mars Inc spokesperson said, While we do not comment on pending litigation, are use of titanium dioxide complies with FDA regulations?
Well, you might be sitting there wondering, what the fuck is titanium dioxide? You take different elements from the periodic table. You start saying that it's in our food. Well, that's a scary word. Oxide.
Well, what is it? Well, it's a naturally occurring oxide of titanium. All you chemistry buffs out there. It is used as a pigment under the names. Titanium. White pigment. White. Six p.w. Six. If you're savvy to that. Or cl77891. What is that, a or B color code. Now, the big question, now that we know what it is, is it toxic?
Well, to date, attempt to attach it to titanium dioxide. See, now, already I can't realize I made skittles, but I think the effects are showing to date. Titanium dioxide is considered safe for consumption.
Most research concludes that the amount consumed from food is so low that it poses no risk to human health. Okay, so if it's in more than just Skittles, what else is it in? Well, it's used in a wide range of consumer goods, including cosmetics, paint, plastic and food. That's a great group of things to lumped together with. Just one of them were consuming.
Unless you're into eating paint or makeup or even plastic in food. Titanium dioxide is often used as an artificial color additive and can generally be thought of as a paint primer. A paint primer for food that you put in your body. It often goes on hard shelled candy like Skittles before the color is added to give that uniform shine.
Is it worth it if it's a paint primer? My God. Titanium dioxide can also be found in dairy products to make them whiter and brighter, like frosting or cottage cheese. So don't know how much faith you put into the FDA and their regulations. Also, don't know how frequent of a consumer you are of Skittles, but just keep that in mind.
It does have a paint primer in a safe as this information argues a safe paper primer for you to eat. So proceed with caution. Obviously, this lawsuit has been filed. Nothing's been nothing's come of it yet. But what if it does come out? A court rules Skittles Unfit for human consumption due to paint primer in the color. Skittles are pretty damn good.
It's a good candy. I would hate to see Skittles go away, but here's the thing. And there is more information here that I don't have in front of me, but in reading, I found that the European Food and Drug Administration, they have they're not administrations. They're like a councils or some European word. They're moving to ban this titanium dioxide.
So could be we could the days of Skittles could be nearing an end, or at least the Chinese Skittles. Then you see them on eBay and they're worth hundreds of dollars because over.
Last glassy skittle, it's didn't seem like that big of a deal. I mean, we eat a lot of shit and not just shit in general, just the chemicals and all that stuff. If you're eating Skittles and concerned about your health, you probably don't have your priorities in the place that they need to be. Next story. Pregnant Texas Woman Says Unborn Baby Should Count As Car Passenger After Receiving HIV Ticket.
A pregnant Texas woman said her unborn baby should count as a second pass. I just said that, citing Texas penal code in the wake of the Roe v Wade being overturned. Brandy Bertoni or Brittany, 32, of Plano, Texas, was pulled over June 29th after she drove in the SUV lane. She was stopped by a Dallas County Sheriff's Office, which was looking for drivers violating the age of lane rules.
Now, before I go any further, I just want you to take a second and think how much of an upstanding citizen. Are you sitting in rush hour traffic? You're in the far left regular, poor person lane and directly to the side of you is that sweet, supple, high occupancy vehicle lane. How many times have you just said fuck it and gone into that lane and it's just been.
Listening to the swipe rate. I'm there with you in spirit, but try telling that to an officer. So how many times have you done that? Me personally, never on my life. I obey every single law that's out there. So moving on with this story, the HIV claim requires passengers to have at least four drivers. To have at least one passenger.
It's pretty uniform their across states. When the sheriff's deputy told a baton or a name is about the role, she said she did in.
Have a second occupant in her car, her unborn baby. So with all the crazy people that police deal with, this seems like it would be just a routine traffic stop. Hey, do you know why I pulled you over?
No, I don't. Officer.
I'm perplexed. So while you're driving in the HOV lane and it's just you, you need multiple occupants in your vehicle. But, officer, there are multiple occupants. Officers looking around like the fuck there are. And she responds, My unborn child.
In my, in my tummy.
I pointed to my stomach. This is the the lady, the soon to be mother. I pointed to my stomach and said.
My baby girl is right here.
She is a person. The officer responded that the rule applies to two people outside of the body. Brittany Baton, who is 34 weeks pregnant at the time, told the officers that with overturning of Roe v Wade, her unborn child now was recognized as a living person. Props to this lady for finding.
Loophole of all loopholes in present time. Roe v Wade, of course. That's murder. Depending on who you ask of an unborn child, of a person. And I said a few weeks ago, and I might have misspoke to some of you that in America you're not considered a person until you are assigned a Social Security number and can pay taxes.
That's just my belief, which I still hold true. It's maybe a human that's growing. It'll turn out to be a human. But on paper, when we're talking about the law, those fuckers need a Social Security number. But this argument goes against that. I'm more than open to hearing that out, and I actually kind of make sense in this context of like, oh, no, no, no, I can't abort this.
I don't even want this fucking kid. But I'm late to work. My second job, I had to grab a second job because I got pregnant. I can't get an abortion because it's illegal. So I have to work two jobs. I'm fucking late. So guess what? This baby that I don't want that's inside of me. It's. It's a person.
You said so yourself, so fuck you. I'm not paying your ticket, and I'm going to keep driving in HIV lane. And guess what? When this baby pops out and is assigned a Social Security number, I'm gonna continue to do the same thing. But how deep does this go? Where does life start? So then we can look at what if she wasn't pregnant, but she had a big, juicy load inside her that she didn't take care of.
I guess you're not supposed to. I wouldn't know. I don't venture into that. That is way too risky for me because I don't want to be one. I'm not going to be pregnant with an unborn child and making this argument. But I don't want any sort of avenue. I'm not. I'm a celibate now. Fuck it. But what if she just had some crazy night the night before and was just all Gucci.
Seed? I mean, sperm is half the equation, so you know what? I pulled you over the age of balance, you have to have more than one person. Oh, no, but, officer, there's a lot of come in me right now. So technically, that could.
Developing into a person. So and then on the flip side of it.
Know, I pulled you over. It's age revealing. You have to have more than one person in it. Oh, but, Officer, I'm on my period. I have a fertile egg that is traveling down my tubes that may or may not become a child, might have opened up a can of worms here, I guess. Try it out. Fair Lady, next time you're on your period driving the HIV lane, see where that gets you.
I guess this only applies to women. I was going to say, well, it's like, well, I got come in my balls so that there's life in there. I got to people, but yeah. Women. Yeah. On your period or just had a load dumped inside of you. Just give it a shot and then if it works and even if it doesn't, let me know.
I'm curious now. I'm not condoning breaking the law by any means. This is more of a social experiment. Okay. Next story. Pennsylvania officer shoots 50 foot snake. That wrapped around itself. Wrapped itself around a man's neck. Police officers from Upper Macungie Township Police Department were called to a home for reports of a man in cardiac arrest. When officers arrived, they found the 28 year old man lying on the floor in a midsection of a snake wrapped around his neck.
Whoa. An officer managed to shoot the 15 foot long snake in the head and pulled the man to safety. I swear to God, if this is a black mamba, we're going to have problems. It's any other snake. Fuck it. But police.
Rest in peace, Kobe. The man received emergency medical treatment and was taken to a local hospital in unknown condition. We don't know what happened to this dude. Authorities said the snake was the man's pet and several other snake enclosures were found inside the home. So this was just one of these reptile hobbyists. I mean, I grew up with one.
My dad had a bunch of snakes and he had one that wasn't 15 feet long. It was about half that. It was like seven and a half, eight feet boa constrictor. I'm going to take a leap and guess here that it's not a black mamba, but a boa constrictor, some sort of boa, some sort of snake that isn't venomous but wraps around its prey and strangles it to death, constricts it.
It's what they are. So that's what I'm going to guess type of snake is. Now what is it mentioned here, which I'm curious is if this guy is going to pull through. Obviously still going to love snakes. It's just snakes have no soul, no emotion. They're just animals. They're just predators. I mean, they don't blink. Have you ever seen a snake and looked at it in its eyes?
It's like a it looks like a little plastic shield around their eyes. They don't blink, they just eat, they slither and they sleep. So I wonder how upset he's going to be.
You kill my rosey or my favorite snake. We're hanging out.
You know, tried to kill you.
I know. We were bonding.
So I'm curious on how.
Develop. Will we cover more of this? And probably not unless it becomes big news and it comes on my radar or it comes on your radar. Take the moment now to mention if you find some wild shit in the news, send it my way. Like I said before, the call with Austin Chuck underscore sway should it to me on Instagram on Tik Tok Twitter as well.
Or you can email howdy at Sway Unlimited dot com. Moving on to our next story. Man pulls gun on women who didn't thank him for holding the door open.
25 year old Connecticut man pulled out a gun on two women because they did not thank him for holding a door open. Law enforcement responded to a dollar store around 3:15 p.m. after receiving a report that a man was pointing a gun at two customers outside of the store. When officers arrived, a witness told police that the man allegedly pointed a gun at the women from whom he held the door open.
They told officers he allegedly grew irate and that they after they did not say thank you. When police located the man, they allegedly found a firearm on him and when they arrested him, he allegedly interfered. However, nobody suffered any injuries, said the statement. Now, the behavior here a little extreme, but the motive, I think, checks out. I think I'm in the same boat as far as some common human decency.
Ever since I was a wee lad, I've been holding the door open for people. And actually when I was that, we lad, I was at the old spaghetti factory. It was poppin. Great place to take your kids, because, one, there's no peanut butter, at least that I'm aware of. But also spaghetti. Kids love spaghetti. So we were waiting for our table and I was, oh, what, seven?
And so I'm like, I'm just going to hold the door for people. I mean, there's a lot of people here who's going to hold the door for them. I held them and I actually counted with my mom and I believe my brother as well. How many people actually said thank you? And that number, if you could guess, was not 100%.
You have this little bright eyed kid. I'll get the door for you. And then just these these are just jaded, defeated adults, which I am now one. Just whatever the stores open, fuck it. But even to this day, I hold the door open, and I think it's. It's not. There's also the other side of it where some women like to freak out.
They're like, Stop objectifying.
It's not chivalry. It's creepy. I'm literally opening the door for you, bitch. So when people don't say thank you, it's kind of like, Well, I guess I'll just go, fuck myself. And later on in life, this was probably, oh, five years or so ago, I walked up to work, whatever building I was trying to go inside and there was a gaggle of people behind me.
Let me just open the door. I'm going to hold it for everyone. I'm. I'm in no rush. Right this way, sirs and madams. And really got no no reception to it. Maybe one. Thank you. As 1520 some odd people walked through. And because I wasn't a kid anymore, I was a petty little bitch. I was saying under my breath, Oh, yeah, okay.
I guess I'll go fuck myself. I thank you. Yeah, yeah. I'm just holding this to fuck myself. Yeah. Yeah. So going back to this guy, pulling a gun out on these ladies, again, a little extreme, but maybe he's 25 years old. Maybe he is just like me and has been doing this since he was a child and just wants some sort of acknowledging it.
Decent act of holding the door open for someone. And maybe this was his breaking point. He'd be doing it for years. Well, I see those young 25 years old. He's been doing it for years and he just snapped. And then he thought.
I got a.
Gate on me. I'm going to make these women say thank you. And then, yeah, it proceeded to be it's probably going to jail for that, but I kind of stand behind it, maybe not with a gun, but with your words. So the next time you hold the door for someone, someone and they don't say thank you, don't pull a gun out on them, pull a gun of words out on them.
Be like, Oh, okay. So this is just expected of you. You fuck and just let them know, make them think about it. And then the next time they go through a door that's being held open for them, they better fucking say thank you. Okay.
Rounding out the.
Wild news or the news, we're all spoiler alert. We're getting into the wild news. Let's check the story out. Oh I did that some war.
I old news.
Russia says it's losing because Ukraine has experimental mutant troops created in secret bio labs. Well, that's one argument to make. Russia has concocted a why old new explanation for why the Kremlin's plans for a quick takeover fell apart so spectacularly because Ukrainian troops were turned into superhuman killing machines during secret experiments in American run bio labs. Of course, never mind the myriad reports of Russian troops refusing to fight by the thousands, sabotaging their own shoddy equipment and even deliberately wounding themselves to abandon the war.
Russian lawmakers claim the real setback for Moscow was drugged up Ukrainian soldiers. That claim was made by two Russian lawmakers heading up a commission to investigate bio laboratories in Ukraine. Testing of Ukrainians P.O.W.s blood uncovered a range of diseases that suggests that they were secretly experimented on for military purposes. And we see the cruelty and barbarity with which the military personnel of Ukraine behave, the crimes that they commit against the civilian population, those monstrous crimes that they commit against prisoners of war, confirm that the system for control and creation of a cruel murder machine was implemented under the management of the United States.
Where are your sources? This sounds like and I like to avoid politics on the show because it's I mean, you mention a few key trigger words and, you know, a lot of people tune out. But for this sake and this story and these audacious claims, I want to say a political trigger word. This sounds like Donald Trump is somehow contributing.
The PR of this conflict. Now, I'm no expert in that political drama. Trump's ties to Russia and his pumping the brakes when it came to criticisms of Putin when he was in office. Whatever. If you're privy to that, great. If not, don't take this information from me. But I would like to think that Vladimir Putin or one of his lackeys calls up Trump.
They probably have weekly conversation on this. Vladimir, my good friend, it's good to hear from you. How are things going in Ukraine? Well, Donald, it is quite difficult as you see. You imagine you look at the map. I know you are very smart. The map, you see map, you see Russia, big, strong country. So Ukraine, little, tiny, much smaller.
We thought our initial reports say we take in few days.
Take longer than few days. Do you have suggestion you are a genius at covering such things and having explanations that seem so far fetched, but the fact that you say them gives it power to your people. So what sort of suggestion do you have? How how do we explain to the world that great mother Russia is struggling, taking tiny country Ukraine?
I feel like if that were the conversation that was happening. Trump responds like Vladimir, it's really quite simple.
Easiest actually. It's easiest explanation. I thought of it, too. I'm surprised you didn't think of it. I know you're very smart, but. And not as smart as Donald Trump, you need to point the direction towards super mutants. Okay. When I was in office, we were doing experiment s. We had to make sure.
Our military personnel were the strongest, the fastest, the best you've ever seen. They're huge. They're huge people. I know you don't much like Americans, but have you seen Captain America at the beginning, this small American soldier turns large. That's what we were doing and that's probably what Ukraine is doing. So just say that. I just ask you one thing.
Once you take this country over, you just have to say that Donald came up with this great idea. Let them know, or maybe not let them know I love Russia. And then the call concludes, Oh, thank you, Donald. Great idea. And now Russians are saying mutant troops.
Are your sources? Well, that's an unknown. An informant from America a.k.a Donald motherfucking Trump. Thank you for holding on through the Donald Trump impersonation. But yeah, I guess there's meat and soldiers in Ukraine and that's why Russia is having such a hard time. Well, who would have thought this episode of The Sway Parade is brought to you by support from Parade Plus members Shadow to AJ, Joe, Michael Davis, Reverend Tanner, Mills, Quinn and Tyler.
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You get the rough. Was there a deep shot?
All right. Deep shot time here on the Sway Parade. It's a sports segment. And like most tops of these segments of the deep shot, there's always something to do with Josh Allen. I understand that some of you might not be big football fans, which is why we don't just look at the stats of how great Josh Allen is.
We look at what he does on his day to day, especially in the off season, because football's not going on right now. And this clip that I have of good old boy is with Formula One driver Daniel Ricardo. Now, this is kind of a a meshing of worlds for me because recently starting to be getting into Formula One a little bit more.
Who would have thought racing cars at 200 miles an hour going crazy?
You mean you knew.
Going through turns could be so entertaining I guess I'm late to the party, but this clip here is Josh Allen and Daniel Ricardo. Not just hanging out but playing toss and catch with a lemon. Let's take a look.
I've never seen anyone look so good to me. You've been a part of doing that.
Well, there's your random dose of Internet for the day there at some super nice house. Probably has, you know, big, huge flat screen TV, VR, all the other fun things you could do when you have guests over and they're just in the kitchen. I mean, this is this is what dudes do if you're bored and you have an object that you can just toss, you toss it.
They're probably hanging out like, Oh, man, I'm bored. And I'm a world class athlete. They're both saying that you want to play catch with this lemon it's like, let's do it and back pedals back in and they just play toss and you can hear the dialog on here.
I've never seen anyone look so good to me.
I've never seen a lemon look so good in here. It's like, Yeah, because the lemon just sits on the counter until you go to use it for something. But now it has a whole new purpose.
It's the catch.
It's now toss and catch with two premier athletes, you lose a bit of pepper. And then Daniel Ricardo, being an Australian, doesn't ask for the heat. It's way too fucking hot down there for him to say, Oh, give it some heat now. Give it some pepper, give pepper to the lemon. And Josh owns like every year, Madden gives me a 99 on arm strength.
Are you sure about this? And then he loads it up. I mean, he goes, maybe 20% of that little will side.
And just a immaculate catch. So if you're bored with your boys, grab a lemon, have some fun.
Moving on here in the deep shot, baseball is kind of the only major American sport that's going on right now. And I will say, just a little free press to Formula One. I don't really need it. It's a huge sport, but Formula One is going on right now. So you could watch racing, maybe keep an eye on Daniel Ricardo, be like, hey, that's Josh Allen's best friend.
I want him to win the race. But baseball for a lot of people and I'm I'm telling you about the racing because, hey, you can spice up your sports in this dog days of summer.
Something other than baseball. I know it's baseball, but every once in a while, something in baseball happens. It's a little spicy. It's got a little bit of pepper. And this is a shot from the broadcast of the Red Sox and the Yankees playing in New York. And this is just a very short clip of what Fox Sports threw up there to promote their baseball night in America.
Let's take a look.
I'm here tonight in New York.
I know if you're watching on YouTube, these clips have a little bit of a pixelation to them, just avoiding copyright strikes and just being, like I said, a good citizen. I don't break laws, any laws, even when it comes to intellectual property. And if you're listening, you just heard, you know, some music and round of matter where. But what's happening is this is an aerial shot.
It crosses over the Freedom Tower in New York City, in Manhattan, and then shows here.
Tonight, New York.
Pours out there, shows two squares and a little baseball night in America in between the squares and then in the squares are the Boston Red Sox logo and the New York Yankees. Now, if you're not familiar with New York's geography and where this might be in the city where there are two big, just perfect squares in the city.
We were saying when it happened, we will never forget. But I think we're starting to forget about 911, because that is the 911. The fox is just like it's a perfect square. It's oh, oh, my God. Yeah. Let's put the Red Sox logo right there. And the Yankees logo right there. And everyone will want to watch baseball. I mean, what else brings people together than baseball and a terrorist attack that changed the outcome of our country?
So just throw it on there. It's going to be great. We're going to get so many viewers. They're going to going to be watched. They don't want to watch racing. They won't watch baseball. 182 games a season one of the slowest sports. They they want to watch it because we want them to think when they watch baseball. We wanted to have as much excitement and drama and even sheer terror as the attacks on 911, Fox did respond to the critiques.
Such a display, which seems appropriate. It's like, Why are you advertising baseball where thousands of people died in a terrorist attack? And they said during last night's telecast, we used poor judgment on the use of a graphic. No, I just think they didn't give a shit. They're like people forgot, right? They don't. It's just squares in New York.
So only New Yorkers care about this. And it's like they got the Yankees. I mean, every New Yorker loves the Yankees, right? And a Fox spokesperson said in a statement or poor judgment, we sincerely apologize and regret the decision. That's just canned response. Can you comment on you superimposing baseball team logos on the 911 Memorial? Oh, yeah. Sorry.
That's that's you. Check out the game, though. I mean, made you watch, right? I now seems kind of empty. As empty as where those towers used to be, where those squares are now. All right. Next story here on the deep shot. Going back to the NFL, a little bit light hearted. If I lost you at the 911 stuff, this might when you're back.
JJ What helps pay for Grandfather's funeral service after fan tried to sell shoes to cover cost? JJ What if you don't know is a fucking beast of a human being just a workhorse on the defensive line he played for the Texans for years. Now he plays for the Cardinals. He's over the hill. He's an older player, but he's still kind of known to help out people in his community.
He's just a overall good guy. Jennifer Simpson lost her grandfather a day after Father's Day, and her family had been struggling for weeks to come up with the money to put him to rest, to gather funds. Simpson tweeted that she was putting a woman's edition of the Reebok JJ Watch Shoes Up for sale for $60 in the caption, They're great shoes.
I'm only selling because we're raising money for my grandfather's funeral, she wrote, adding that she was also selling a Houston Houston Texans jersey of what so big? What fan got his shoes, got his jersey, but grandpa passed away. And these are just things I want Grandpa to have be able to be laid to rest at a nice place.
And the tweet is here. JJ What caught wind of it? He's like, Not on my watch. Ha ha. Such a pun, guy. So the tweet again, I have a pair of J.J. Watt Women's Edition, Reebok shoes size nine $60 and the Jersey extra large Texan's jersey for $30. Anyone interested? So she is just trying to drum up money wherever she can to help pay for Grandpa's funeral, which is we.
It's a struggle. That's tough. And, JJ, while, like I said, not on my what a sub tweeted it a quote, tweeted a quote, retweeted it, said don't sell your shoes in Jersey will help with the funeral. I'm sorry for your loss. Prayer emoji. There's more information here as to JJ. What's a charitable contributions? It's not the first time that his generosity has been put on display in the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey.
He donated $100,000 and set up an online fundraiser to help victims, which eventually brought in nearly $42 million. So did you want overall? Good guy. But I would like to think, as I do, there's no merit to it. But I would like to think that J.J. Watt, as I mentioned, he's getting older, especially in the NFL. He is a geezer.
He's been in the league forever. He's been terrorizing offensive lines and quarterbacks. And he might just want to be.
Holding on to that relevancy. And he's probably scours Twitter, has a team that's like if you see anything that is in regards to bashing me or selling my shit. No, because when they sell that, I lose. I need that exposure.
JJ, we, we just saw a tweet this this woman is she's trying to sell her shoes. And in Jersey, they're yours, your signature shoes in Jersey to help cover a funeral. And that's what tingled in his mind. He's like, don't let her get rid of that merch will pay for it. Fuck it however much it costs, make it work.
Same thing with Hurricane Harvey. It's like, Hey, I need to help you guys out because you guys are going to come to my game, right? I mean, a hurricane came through and fucked up Houston. But if I start this fundraiser, say, hey, tell them JJ Watson. And then you come and you watch me.
Me play. I don't think he's that big of an ego head, but.
You never know. Moving on here in the deep shot with more news. This story dates all the way back to, I think, episode one of this show, one or two back in February in regards to Brittney Griner. If you're not familiar, what's been going on with her? Well, she's been sitting in a Russian jail for since that time, February ish, because she was caught with weed in Russia right before the war started.
And now going through court and trial and all that, she has presented a doctor's note for cannabis use. A lawyer for WNBA star Brittney Griner at her drug possession trial in Russia gave the court a U.S. doctor's letter recommending use medical cannabis to treat pain. It's all fine and dandy in the U.S. Oh, Russia's going to stand up for that.
They're blaming the United States for mutant soldiers in Ukraine. They're going to toss that note out quicker than shit. Griner was arrested at Moscow's Sheremetyevo airport in February after customs officials said they found vape canisters containing cannabis oil in her luggage, luggage, luggage. She faces up to ten years in prison if convicted on charges of transporting drugs. In court last week, Griner pleaded guilty and acknowledged possessing the canisters, but said she had no criminal intent and said they were in her luggage because she packed hastily in her return to Russia to play for the women's Russian basketball team in the league in the WNBA off season.
Now a lot of good players in the WNBA, they go and do this, they go play overseas, play in Russia, they play in China. When the WNBA is not going on. And they do this not I mean, probably for the love of the sport, who doesn't love to get paid to play basketball, but also because their salaries of the WNBA are pretty dog shit and they actually make more money playing overseas.
And so she had her trip set up to go to Russia and she's like, Fuck, I'm late to my flight, pack my shit up. Forget that. Her weed's in there. Honest mistake.
I don't know if Russia will feel the same.
In Russia's judicial system admitting guilt doesn't automatically. And the trial. Since the plea, her court sessions have focused on in-person and written testimony to her good character and athletic prowess. So it really depends on what kind of Russian judge you got here. But, uh, I mean, they love athletics, but yes, I can see she's good and strong. She's however.
Mm. Six foot seven. She's tall, she's probably very powerful in basketball court. But that doesn't change the fact that she brought in I can't even say the word that is like our country's Voldemort, that evil plant, evil sinister plant she brought in and the argument that you are in they rush to get to the motherland here is thing.
Rush herself to come. The greatest country in the world.
This is Russia.
You should have checked your bags. The attending physician gave Brittney's recommendations for the use of medical cannabis at her lawyer, Maria Blaue Gove. Lina The permission was issued on behalf of the Arizona Department of Health. This seems like a stretch. Like, is there any more things you would like to present to the court? Yes. Your Honor. We have not from state of Arizona saying she is okay to use in state of Arizona.
Will this accept? Will you let her go? Yeah, I don't know. Maybe if if Russia didn't have such animosity towards the US. Oh, Arizona. I love it. The big desert, large cactus. It's crazy. They see it in there. Like Arizona, like the state in America. This is not we will not accept this. This is this is worth shit.
This is not good. I mean, they're trying they're throwing everything at it. And what they're also trying to throw at it. There have been reports for a prisoner swap. Russian media has speculated that Griner could be swapped for Russian arms dealer Viktor Bout, nicknamed The Merchant of Death. And this isn't like a nickname on the court. Kobe Bryant, Black Mamba.
LeBron. King James. WNBA. Sue Bird. Flappy Bird. Whatever her nickname is. Sorry, I just don't know. This is a nickname in the streets, in the arms, dealing the black market of buying and selling guns and munitions. That's the trade that they want to do. He's currently serving a 25 year sentence in the United States after being convicted of conspiracy to kill U.S. citizens and providing aid to a terrorist organization.
So Russia is playing hardball here. They call up the embassy and like, listen, I have tried the proposition. I a little bit of basketball myself. I know that this can be you know, you have Blair you have I have player. I have. What if we exchange them and then it makes they go play for you? They come play for us, and it's all good.
Except this isn't just in the confines of sports. That call is more like, Listen, we have your pride and joy in WNBA, Brittney Griner, and you have our pride and joy in smuggling drugs. I'm not drug smuggling gun. Sorry. I'm thinking of someone else smuggling guns and selling them to fringe terrorist groups. So I would like to propose.
Little hail, you say a sweeping.
How does that sound? I mean, here's the thing, too. You talk about the discrepancy between pay between NBA and WNBA players. Also talk about the discrepancy in Revere. Right. You say the name LeBron James. Basically anywhere in the world, they're like, oh, yeah, he's a good basketball player. You say Brittney Griner. I mean, I know who she is, but does the majority of people.
So it's like lawyers like Brittney. I'm so sorry we tried, but the trade, this it this too too big for your country. They they do not value you. It's like you get to entertain in the WNBA doing your thing. I mean, she's a hell of a basketball player, but in exchange for someone that tried to kill US citizens and provided weapons and aid to terrorist organizations, that's a tough sell.
You may have to add some draft picks to that one for that to make sense. Our next year in the deep shot Quidditch is changing its name to quad ball to cut ties with J.K. Rowling. Quidditch real life sport inspired by the airborne game played by young wizards and every potter is ditching its whimsical name. Now athletes will mount broomsticks and play quad ball, U.S. quad ball and Major League quad ball.
This is legitimate sports leagues. The sport's two governing bodies in North America both announce the new name of quad ball this week, which is set to go into effect this summer. The International Quidditch Association plans to adopt the new name to the organization, said there were two reasons for the name change. Per the governing bodies, the sport wanted to separate itself from Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling and her anti-transgender rhetoric.
Also, neither organization owns the Quidditch trademark that's owned by Warner Brothers or whoever owns Harry Potter and all that. So it's like, you want to be legitimate. You can't use just some fake name and a fake name, but a name you don't own. It is a fake name, but one you don't own, so change it. Quad ball. Both organizations denounced her position, saying that the sport was one of the most progressive sports in the world on gender equality.
Referencing a rule that requires teams to have no more than four players of the same gender on the field at once. So Quidditch now quad ball played by Muggles, is all inclusive. Hey, can you mount.
PVC pipe stick and run around with a ball?
Come play with us now. This was news to me that, you know, I had heard. Maybe it's like, you know, there's this crazy Harry Potter fans are like, oh, will play Quidditch and would do it. And then they just start dicking around. But since its founding, the sport has expanded to 40 countries and nearly 600 team boys, according to the governing body.
So they're legit. It's a legitimate organization and they don't want nothing to do with J.K. Rowling or the lawyers at big Hollywood movie studios for a copyright infringement and trademark violation. Now, we do have this clip of it. One, Charles Barkley, somewhat out of context, but it kind of applies to this. You know, J.K. Rowling kind of in in hot water.
I honestly don't know what she said about transgender people, but it's a negative rhetoric, according to this article. So here's Charles Barkley at some sort of event. Again, no context, but I'm applying it to this. So imagine that this is Charles Barkley at a quad ball banquet. Maybe he's a huge Harry Potter fan. You never know. Chuck, what do you got to say?
I want to say this. If you're gay and transgender, I love you. And part of you should you tell the truth. But you.
So J.K. Rowling, Charles said, fuck you.
Let's move on here.
That deep shot. Of course, it is now time to get.
Country studio coaches don't play the week. All right.
It's time to get country strong. And it's been a whole collection of taps eclipse week in and week out. And it just seems to not change in being changing it. You understand what I'm saying? So this clip here.
We're getting we're getting modern and traditional in its country, strong. Let's take a look at this here clip. This is New York Police Department now New York in the Big Apple, a huge city. If you've ever been there, you show up and you're like, wow, I hope they get them building so damn tall. And you got it's a forefront of technology and humans coming together.
It's a massive city, but there's mostly cars and there's mostly people walking about. What you don't expect to see in this clip here is going to show.
Transportation methods from back in the country. Country strong days back when there weren't no internal combustion engine, none of that. We used horses as well. Someone didn't tell the New York City Police Department that they could use cars. So what do they do? They use horses. And this is a body cam of an officer on a horse, New York City.
This guy takes off running, trying to get away from the cop to go to town. This horse is often running. It is trying to get apprehend this suspect in the middle of a metropolis, one of the biggest metropolises in the world in America by easy stretch. And he's riding the whole country strong, trying to get this man going again, traveling and then foot offshore, grab you get this drone that holds a drone waiting for mega or bust.
Swear to God. Oh, my goodness. This I never I never would have thought. I thought horses were just hobbies for rich people. No, this is a technically on a technicality. That horse is a police officer, that a horse could arrest you if it had thumbs it done. I mean, this hot pursuit, you see that horse, see that guy running?
He's like, come on, let's go get him. Go. Come on, this. We're going to get this guy. We can only pick him up. He stole some or whatever was going on. We go get him. Get me a go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Come on, come on. Here we go. Here we go. Yeah.
Country strike. Oh, oh.
I broke a sweat round. No mercy.
There, there, there. There's country, country strong. I would have never expected New York City, the Big Apple.
And you go a horse cop. My goodness.
All righty. Well, that does it for the deep shot. Let's move on.
Scrub in some clips, scrub Meklit, clip, rounding out the show this week with some clips to scrub. And the first one we got here, I'm a big old fan of SpongeBob SquarePants phone case is Patrick Star. I'm actually wearing I'll show you what I'm wearing right now. Actually, just to give some context, I have on my feet.
Croc sandals with little SpongeBob charms on them. And that's still is just a taste of my level of dedication and borderline obsession as an adult with no children, no plans to have children with the child. Cartoon SpongeBob squarepants So I just try to fit things in that may be related to SpongeBob. And this first clip does just that.
Mr. Krabs has moved away from the food industry, seemingly in the sea and has gone into dentistry. Let's take a look up areas.
He's got it blue or yeah you want to get the other one? You get it. I think you're the first kid to ever a crab rip out your two.
So as the dad just said, yeah, they took a crab. They're out on the boat crabbing.
Fine or Eugene crabs. They're like, hey, little Kyle, you got that loose tooth you've been you've not shut the fuck up about the tooth fairy. You want your money? I get it. Why don't we take this crab and extract your tooth? Little did they know they were dealing with Eugene Crabs. D.D.S., the dentist and the crab pulls the tooth out up.
Here he goes. He's got it there.
It's almost swallow the tooth. When it popped out, his head's kind of up and the tooth came out. I mean, it could easily just fell back there.
Choked on the tooth. No tooth fairy for you. She needs the goods before she pays up. All next clip. Oh, no. This is an officer of the.
Down on his luck because he is flipped over. It looks like he tried to hop this gate. His feet got cut or caught, rather, and he went over. Now he's hanging upside down. His pants appear to be at his ankles. That might have where he got caught. And he's hanging upside down. He's got his police shirt on the back.
It's upside down. But you flip it around, says police and people are just kind of looking at him. Is he reaching for something that's his gun? That's probably his radio and he's trying to just get out of this predicament and nothing. I mean, he is right stuck. I mean, he is looking like Luke in Empire Strikes Back when he's in that ice cave.
He got hit on the head with that yeti. He wakes up and his light saber is on the ground. He's reaching for it, trying to use a little bit of force that he has to get his light saber to free him. He's but we're not in that galaxy far, far away. So this guy doesn't have the force powers.
He's not force sensitive. But it appears as we get closer, it appears that he is sensitive in another way. And that's in the digestive sense, because as he is hanging down pants at the top, out his legs on this on this gate, we see the wide tights of the law.
With some doo doo. So this cop was in pursuit of someone, I don't know fucking about doing whatever tries to jump the fence, gets flipped over, loses his pants, and probably in that process pooed himself a little bit. Maybe he was running to try to get to the.
And oh, that is just one. You're wearing white tights, which seems like a total cop thing at this point. No briefs. It's like I wear my whitey tights and I persecute people of color on the daily because I'm a cop and he's still trying to use his force powers to reach. Yeah, it is his radio. It's like it's not a gun.
God, if it was a gun and he gets a hold of that because that's the thing. The people that are walking around here, they're not helping him. They have their phones out. The person that took this video not doing anything, there's no audio, so I can't hear what's going on. He's probably like asking, Hey, can you fucking help me?
This is awful. They're like, No, this is your reckoning, you fucking pig. And there's a another. There was another. Yeah, there was another shot. I can't find it here, but there's people on the side of the street. There's another guy on the other side of the gate and they're just looking at him. And this is supposed to be a public servant, a protector of the community.
I don't think a community gives a shit. They're like, No, you can hang there. We gonna fucking hate you. And this poor guy. And again, the guy that took the video just walks up. There's another phone there.
I just want to see the shit in your pants. You think this is embarrassing? Now wait until I put it up on the internet. And I mean, this video is going to end and there is. There's no aid. He can't reach his radio. He's got poo poo in his pants. Pants, and now it's over. I mean, he's still might be hanging there.
You never know. Okay, next clip.
Oh, so I'm I mean, abortion might be coming in to back into state laws here soon because of the overturning Roe v Wade. But that doesn't mean that once you have a kid, you can just kill it. That is still and always will be and always has been very illegal. And when we have on this video is this guy just takes his toddler by the leg and tosses him into a pool.
Now, before you freak out and think you're showing a kid getting senselessly murdered by drowning. No, because it's one of those things. It's like training the little kids how to float if they fall in the water and the kid does a great job. I just haven't shown that yet. Let's take a look. Baby flips over.
But look, so the water safety classes for the baby, that's the idea. Baby falls in and then it and it's taught I teach a kid this is actually pretty impressive. It's taught to flip around and spark and float because that's where the air is. But the toss is aggressive. Like, I know it's supposed to be a simulation of if your baby child falls into the water, but how many times is a kid going to fall in the water in the fashion in which this video shows dad kisses, brings him down, grabs him by the ankle and just hits him into the pool.
Those are Oh, no, this is part of training. You never know when someone's going to grab your kid's ankle and just you. They've got to be prepared for everything. Unbeknownst to whoever heartless person wants to do that, they're like, Well, fuck you, baby, you're gone. Tosses them and they land in the water. Like, I'm a sick and perverted person, but then they start floating.
It's like, What the fuck? How do I kill this baby? You don't. You shouldn't.
You should do as. This next clip shows is use your kids in different ways, like as a weapon to ward off people that are trying to kill your kids. Oh, so this is a street in a city in a country somewhere? No idea. I don't think in America. And there is whatever events transpired before the camera started rolling, we'll never know.
But this woman, this mother supposedly takes her kid, flips her around, puts puts the child behind her back and starts charging this guy.
Swings on this dude with the.
It's like you tried to drown my kid one it's water safety trained, certified. But two, I'm going to make you regret even having thoughts of killing my kid because I'm going to beat you to shit with my kid. Oh, that's a terrible thing to do. If you have children, protect your children. Don't use them as the weapon, but just the visual of it, it's fucking hilarious.
And the guy's gone. He took it, took some toddler feet to the head, and he's like, I mean, I can't defend myself with a person armed with another person, the smaller person. So he's gone next look. Ooh. Before I get into this one, actually, I do want to set the scene. There seems to be a recurring theme on this show of animals, dangerous animals and episode code 14, I believe it was titled Animal Kingdom.
You can go to the news segment there. Watch it, listen to it if you haven't already. It is the percentage of Americans that think they can take on various animals that get more and more ferocious and dangerous and I throw this back up on the screen, Oh, I can't scroll, but this is pretty much it if you're looking at it.
So just to recap, starting in a rat, 72% of Americans believe they could beat a rat in one on one hand, a hand comment, combat go down the list, the very bottom one and all the animals that were surveyed here was a grizzly bear. 6% of Americans think, yeah, I could beat a grizzly bear with my bare hands.
Well, my hands and his or her bare hands. You go what I'm saying. So this clip I have found someone who is in that 6% thinks that they can take on a bear, a grizzly bear. I think this is a grizzly bear in this video.
So this is in the woods that looks like a big fucking grizzly bear. So so this.
I think it has to be a guy like that. There's a reason that us guys live shorter than women, because I'm to go in the woods. Oh, look, a fucking bear. Let me get my phone out and go kick it in the butt. He does.
And as the bear rightfully does, turns around and is like, What the fuck that? Then we go back to the kick. This bear is minding its own business in its natural habitat. He just gets.
He kicked a grizzly bear.
So all of the.
The bear thought for a second, made some little bear rumbles and then the hunt was on. The guy kicked the bear and didn't didn't take a step back, just stood his ground like these are my woods. We go back to that moment, there's a kick. The bear says.
Uh, I think the bear won. Now, it doesn't get doesn't get really graphic after that, the camera's moving, shakin around, but then you see that it's just on a tree trunk. The guy is not moving, at least not moving away from the bear. And the bear's still making noise. I think the guy's fine, probably, but I'm going to chalk this round up to the bear because the bear one.
What a fucking Dyngus. Next clip. And this one. I would like to think it doesn't really happen because Mrs. Sway isn't too active on social media. But I would like to think that this is how.
Would respond if she got DMS that were solicitations for sex, nudes, whatever. So now this, this is Mrs. Sway.
So this is just a PSA to all you creepy ass white dudes that keep coming up in the midterms. I'm Mary. I have been married for almost 18 fucking years. Hi. What's up, homie? Watch out. Just go away. That shit is so gross. And also it's called soliciting. You offer money you like, you lie like bill away. You sell away.
I met just over a year one of marriage. So I have 17 years to go before, you know, we probably both look like this super ironic thing too is Mrs. Sway works in dentistry and this representation of Mrs. Sway in this hair clip doesn't go to the dentist at all. But 17 years. We have a lot of time ahead of us and maybe it'll come to that and I think Mr. Sway will you know, die on that hill protected.
But like now he's my man. I'm I'm not available. So thank you, Mr. Sway, for your loyalty. Okay, one more clip before we get out of here. And it is the moist, this one.
This next mm. Is so moist.
That's taking a look at this. I do want to give a shout out to my good friend Caleb, who sent this video to me. I don't know if he that it's getting put on the show, but credit where credit is due. Let's take a look.
So who who that boneheaded.
This guy is piping down the tailpipe of a car like with his dick. He's fucking this car.
I call my dodge. Go in there.
You know, when someone comes up to him and I like, Hey, why are you fucking this car? He's like, I was a fucking this car.
I walked away.
I was just like down the street and off into the sunset. Didn't even get his nut. He got blue balled by this guy. He was just trying to get some carbon build up and all those fumes on his dick. Feels really.
I play this back again because you could see he's this is not like a this is a car lower to the ground. He is squatted down with the front most part of his body where his junkies this is kind of an awkward position but he's ooh, he's getting that in broad daylight to just to set the scene. If you're listening, it is daytime in this town, wherever this is.
And he's like, I just I'm so backed up. I just, ah, fuck anything. Even a car.
And then he said or his friend said someone said Bet. And he's like, oh my God, fuck this car right now. I know a great one on 78.
And he just, you.
Know, you know, you know, you know.
He's fucking a car. I had never seen nothing like that in my life. And he gets up and he's like, Nope, wasn't me. Have a good day. All right. Well, that does it for the show this week. And I'll take the time now to say thank you so much for watching and listening all the way up to this points full show.
It's actually the attention span of people right now. Where you able to hang on that long? Thank you. Thank you so much for doing so. And we're going to do the same thing next week. So until then, bye bye. I'll see you then. Take care. Don't go fucking.
Cause and I.