Here's all the links that we discussed on this week's episode:
Scrub My Clip
Lil Bit'a News
The Deep Shot
If you don't know what noodling is, it's when you take your finger in you and your noodle and into a hole underwater. And as you're noodling, catfish will see your little noodle. And then they'll swim up and think that it's an edible noodle. And then when it both latches on, then you pull your whole hand out and you just noodle the catfish.
At least that's how I understand it. It's this sway parade with shark sway. Welcome into the Sway Parade. My name is Chuck Sway, and this is the parade. If you're new to the show, well, here's what we do. We cover news, we cover sports, and we cover clips from around the net in a very fun and lighthearted fashion because it's a parade.
It's supposed to be a fun time. And if this is your first time tuning in, welcome. If you're returning, it's the same old parade that you already know and hopefully love. Now, before we get into all of the segments in the show, I do want to take a time, as I do every single week, to give praise to the almighty algorithm because without that algorithm, the show would be nothing.
So I pray, what can you do? You might be asking yourself, Well, you can like, you can share. You can subscribe. Leave a comment. It's on YouTube. It's on all of the audio platforms and what you contribute to just saying, hey, this is worth, worth a listen. Worth of view helps the algorithm tremendously, but I am just one person I can't like and share and subscribe just to me be a little self-centered.
I would think so. I pray. So if you are in a spot that's safe, I ask that you now bow your head with me as we pray to the almighty algorithm, O Almighty algorithm. Here we are again in a new week, but the same praise to you and your power. We give mind, we give body and we give soul to you so that you may notice and sort a little higher o almighty algorithm.
We are pawns to your game, but we would like to be kings and queens one day. And so we ask you, as we always do, to bless us, lead us, guide us to glory. Amen. Ha! Feel on the spirit of that. I hope you feel it as well. All right. Well, let's get into our first segment in this week's show, which is scrubbing some clips.
Scrub my clip. Clip clips for you this week, curated by me for the most part. But if you find some clips out there that you think, hey, this belongs on the show, send them my way, and actually has a few bits of clips that were listener and viewer submitted. So I encourage you should a DM on social media Chuck underscore sway or add swipe or a pod and be like, hey, I think this would be really cool for the show and I'll like the comment.
I'll be like, I agree, good sir or madam, you'll see it soon. So let's take a look at this first clip. What do we got here? Stop, stop. Well, that ain't Christlike, if you ask me. This is at a church. The kids, they're out there praising to the Lord and Jesus Christ or whatever, whatever religion this is, I would assume this is for the Big God.
And the kids are singing Hallelujah, hallelujah. And then this kid in the front notices, Oh, Mom's recording me. Well, let me get you a little something extra that extra sauce stuff. And he breaks his Jesus praying character, takes his hand, cups his boyhood, which will in time become manhood and just jar shakes it. That's for you, Mom. I didn't want to wake up at 7 a.m. on a Sunday to go to church, but here we are.
And this is what I think about it. I've been in this situation before, too. I mean, when your mother is at an event that you're performing at and she has a camera out and time to act a fool. I wasn't in church when it happened for me. I was playing the viola. My one bit of experience in playing a music musical instrument was the viola.
The violin was too small and the cello was way too big. So I played the viola and I had a recital and my mom had her big old camcorder in hand up in the stands. And I saw her and I'm like, okay, this viola is now a guitar when I'm not playing. And so I was acting for I didn't grab my nuts like this kid did, but I salute him.
You're your mom trying to capture a moment in your life. I'm like, now I'm going to make it more memorable. I'm going to grab my nuts next look. Oh, there there is a dinger. I think that's so if you're listening, this is pre pinata, which might be the most dangerous time in a pinata fear pin pinata pinata fiesta.
Because opinion is not up in the air. You're still getting all set up and you're blindfolded, which seems to be the first step when you're participating in bashing a pinata, which I would suggest from this video. That is the last step, because this lady is blindfolded, she's got her bat. A pinata is not up in the air yet.
And who comes up? Oh, little old Kathy. I mean, this is is this a church event as well? Kathy comes up and is on the fence. She's not committing. Do I go close enough to touch her, to let her know, hey, I'm here? Or do I stay far enough away because I know that she's going to start swinging and she starts swinging and little Kathy gets a bat to the head and goes down.
It was all fun, music's bumpin and then, Oh, that's not good. Look, she bends this makeshift bat, and right at these two kings here at the bends, that was Kathy's head. That's what caused that. I think the party's over after that. I mean, that is that is the form of a major League Baseball swing. And it looks like the lady who was blindfolded put her hand up like, oh, that was a good fit, huh?
It's like, yeah, maybe in this little group, this was a hit. And the lady who was blindfold, that was just the fall, fall woman there are people that aren't fond of Kathy. They think that she cheats during the chili, cook out the bacon pies, whatever neighborhood the homeowner's association is not a fan of. Kathy. We can't get rid of her, but we can arrange to have her hit in the head at the pinata party next weekend and it'll look like an accident.
Everyone just kind of after that settled. I mean, we can't see Kathy, maybe the corner of her head right there. It looks like she's up and she's fine. She grabs a rope for the pinata and she's like, All right, one practice swing. So dazed and concussed, just one swing. Okay, pinata time. And at the very, very end, one of the one of the guys, the husband of who knows who comes up and he just grabs a bat, you're done.
We're done. Funds over. I still have my beer in my hand. I can have a fun time, but nope, you're done. And as a one strike in, you're out. Pinata party. What else we got?
Well. Oh, yeah.
They cool. This looks to be karaoke night when karaoke isn't going on. They got a I want to say Shania Twain. It's not your night Twain. It's about, you know, the I will always love you. It's that lady she's playing on the speakers of this here bar and this old timer, you know, he's an old timer because he's wearing straps.
We're going to think of words right now. Shania Twain and overalls are and he's probably had a few too many, but this might be his favorite song. And so he's singing along with the crowd. I want to get some applause at the end. Let's hear it again. He's completely off key, off tone. I mean, no question. But off key.
The chorus was already going for a few seconds. An old bob here, it's like, I'm going to get in on this. Everyone wants to hear this bar.
Oh, oh, oh.
Seemingly how sauce this guy is. It looks like he's standing at the bar not sitting down, which is very impressive. But this last little outburst of Whitney Houston, there's a name it finally came to me. That last outburst is going to be her and he's going to be out. He's going to fall. We don't see it in the video, but I would like to assume I was on here totally, madly.
Yay. So this video, this little clip here, let's grab my clip was submitted by listener Austin. Austin, thank you for sharing. It is a fisheye lens of an adult older person with peanut butter smeared all over his face. And the caption P.O.V. what a three year old iPad sees. And this this could be accurate. I think it is because just a few days ago I went over to my cousin's house and she has three kids, a five year old, a three year old, and close to be one month old or one year old.
You don't say that, though. It's coming up on 12 months. He's 11 months right now. And of course, they had an iPad. And the first thing when I walked in the door, they were on it and they started showing me some Minecraft videos. Now, thankfully, the peanut butter had been tucked away, so it wasn't covered in peanut butter.
But this is accurate fruit all over the face downtown. And my cousin's kids are the only children I come in contact with on a regular basis. So what they do is my reference point to what all kids do. And as I mentioned, there is no peanut butter smeared all over the face. But they had an iPad and they were doing everything on the iPad.
They were playing games, they were watching videos. The Minecraft is still huge, which is cool because Minecraft is awesome. So yeah, this this seems to be kind of what I saw, what I would assume the iPad sees on other days, on the off days or on days, depending how you put it. When there's peanut butter, food, whatever. I mean, they're just they're boys, too, so they're messy as all hell.
So thank you for sharing. Awesome. And I'll take a moment to mention, if you are watching on YouTube, you might see that the videos over here are all blurry. And why is that? Well, it's because I don't want to get hit with a copyright strike, even though I'm providing comments. It's fair use. My lawyers advised me to do that.
So what is the alternative? Well, you can go to Suzanne Ltd dot com slash blog and you can find all of the links to everything featured on this show, every previous show, every show in the future. Up until my lawyers say, hey, just go ahead and do it. Not that big a deal, but I want to maintain the sanctity of this channel, so I continue to blur it.
But you still kind of make out what it is the next clip. Ha! So I feel like at most gyms in America and I feel this way because I don't frequent one because I'm fat piece shit. But in most gyms there, I would guess at least once a day there is someone that goes in there, looks at the equipment and says, I'm going to use this the way it wasn't intended to.
And then they do their fitness, or at least what they think their fitness is. This video is no different. This is a lady I mean, just doing snail trails. I mean, that's not even a real workout. What it appears to be my knowledge of fitness. But she has her shins rolling on one of those rolling, hot rolling pins, the things they use for yoga and back stuff.
So she's kind of just dry humping it gyrate ing on this pin while another one is holding her up and just rubbing her snail juice all over this piece of equipment that is probably shared by all the patrons of this gym. I mean, is she you're trying to make sure that everything is nice and lubricated for plans that she has later in the day?
I think only she knows. That's a bold move, though. Open gym people are working out and then they see you just want what, all across this pit? I mean, as a good Samaritan and hopefully the person that took this video when she's done wiping her butter all over this thing, the the right thing to do would be to locate wherever it goes and just wipe it down.
Because even if she does, it's just not the same. You want to wipe it down, make sure no one else is is dealing with this butter on the on the rolling. It's on a rolling pin. I keep wanting to call it a rolling pin, but the thing the workout thing, like I said, I'm a fat piece of shit.
I don't go to the gym, but I mean, the next person is going to go up and use it for like back stuff and be like, Oh my God, what is that? What is that stench? That's like, pussy. You look around, not a pussy in sight. At least one that's given off that kind of odor. You turn around on this rolling thing.
Oh, you have no idea. And I think in part, the person that took the video or anyone else that saw this, if they didn't do anything about it, it's partially their fault. Next clip. There's audio on this one that I don't want to play, but the visuals are all right here. So this is a gaggle of frogs or whatever frogs are referred to in groups.
And the caption here on the video says Mating in frogs occurs in the form of orgies in large groups. In most species, the females release the eggs, which are then immediately covered by the males in their sperm for fertilization. The white foam in the video is caviar wrapped in semen. It's not a foam party, it's a gangbang. And that's exactly what you see.
All these frogs are slowly kicking their legs and just nodding over themselves all over their fellow frogs and most importantly, on to the eggs. But the little thing in nature, I don't know if you knew about it. Male frogs just trying to spread their seed. And it doesn't matter if it's a orgy type setting. It might even be prettier, might even be preferred.
I'm flustered because that's a lot of cum all right, next clip there. What the fuck, man? What the fuck do while they all get all grown to 26 like this? That. So for the listeners, this video is on the other side of a highway on what was it, two 2226 to 20 second. Yeah, it is 222 and out in the distance on this grassy knoll and this hill here you see a little pixilated figure or two figures based on the commentary here that male.
Would you see some thrusting in there. Two people just banging up on the no right off for 2/22. They get covered all over. There's always and the language you just heard wasn't me that said it. It was the commentator. And I think he has the social greenlight to do so. I just want to point that out. Not dropping that word.
CO No, find out they both work at the McDonald's. Hey, your burgers got meant a lot. You know, the veggies were up. Oh, my God, this is funny, but I don't go to the McDonald's, go to 20. Say your brother got an ass burger the nut and ask burgers and the McDonald's on to 22nd There's a level of MC horny that I don't know how often does it go on?
I mean, you have coworkers that you're flipping burgers with, taking orders, working in fast food and hey, look at the time. It's time for our break. Do you want to go out? Out back, right? I mean, I know this beautiful spot overlooks to 22nd. It's divine. And I think we should just go there and fuck. What do you say?
And the feeling was mutual because that's exactly what they did. Clap and cheeks on to 22nd. I love it. All right. Let's move on to the moist. This clip in the Scrub My Clip segment. And it's quite similar to this one just a little bit moister this next clip. Mm is so moist. Breaking news. Wait till you see this.
Lindsay, you see this I breaking? Oh, yeah. This is supposed to be breaking news. This was me breaking news right now. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Breaking news, then. Backs being broken. Is that guys laying pipe? So this is, as you heard, breaking news in apparently Philadelphia and police. Two officers shot on Ben Franklin Parkway.
You know, not it's not the type of story we cover on this show by any means. That's we'll go somewhere else. But as the live feed the camera is showing, the surrounding area on the road on Ben Franklin Parkway. Breaking news. They're going around and showing the buildings and the camera moves or at least it stays. A person taking the video of their TV pulls in on one of the top floors in in that top floor.
Dude is just swinging hips. The lady is going for a ride missionary style on the news. So everything else. So we're going to take a look at this building that was right in front of where these officers were shot, not take into account that it is in the evening. And some people might want to be getting a little intimate without the curtains up or the curtains are up, rather.
Pardon me. This would be breaking news right now.
I mean, Kennedy. Are you kidding me? All right, we're just at the very top. Just the sliver. I mean, feel like you have to be on the lookout for things like this, because most viewers might not have noticed that. They're like looking at that headline, oh, no. Two police officers were shot, but this guy's on horn patrol. So, hey, if it's live news, chances are there might be some people fucking.
And that's what makes it the most is clip. Moving on, let's move into the news. What's the big deal, fella? It's just a little bit news. First story here on the news, it's a follow up from a story back on the week of June 9th, six nine, if you recall, the story was that the gas station manager down in Rancho Cordova, Cordova, accidentally set the gas prices to $0.69 instead of $6.99, which for California or anyone for that matter.
That's cheap as hell for gas. And so he was fired by a mistake. It was determined that they lost about $20,000 in sales because they sold gas for $0.69. The good old oopsy whoopsie. But this is back here in the news again because the gas station, it was a shell, I believe refuses to go fund money to make up for the 69 cent gas mistake.
So this guy gets canned. Honest mistake. Just missing a decimal point. I actually for my day job was adjusting prices of everything in our catalogs. And I had in my head I was like, all I would have to do is just get sucked into the no one's role of updating these prices. They miss a decimal point and all of a sudden we make a shit ton of sales but at a big old loss so it can happen to anyone.
This guy gets canned, him and his family start a go fund me. It's like, Hey, this wasn't our fault. Please help us out. We got some press. We were in the news, and so they raised like 24, 25 K and they reached the $20,000 that the gas station said, That's how much you owe us. You're fired. So good luck working to make that money.
But that's how much you owe us. And now they're like, Oh, wait, you have the money? Oh, no, no, no. We're not going to take. That needs to be your money, you piece of shit. Not money from strangers on the Internet. Let's get into the story. John, I tried his name before. Go back to episode. Whatever. Try to listen to me.
Say it. It's says Chen Sia. Ooh, I don't know. He was fired after he said he accidentally said pumps the $0.69 per gallon at the gas station in Rancho Cordova. And the guy, John, I'll just go by his first name because his last name is impossible said he was responsible for entering gas prices that day. And simply put the wrong does someone like that.
It could happen to anyone. His family immediately started a go fund me to pay back the $20,000 the gas station lost in the several hours. Prices were wrong in just a few days. Here we go. Over $24,000 was collected. But the company said it doesn't want the money. The gas company. Why why you make up for the the loss?
You now have more responsible employees like the thing, too. It's like if you make a mistake as a worker and provide it, I mean, I guess this is a big mistake, but that's the thing. If they were to hire him back, you can rest assured he is going to make sure all the decimals are going to be on the dime, pun intended for these gas prices.
But instead they fired him and said, Fuck you, we don't want your money or we don't want strangers money. According to go fund me, the company the organizer will be required to post a clear update to keep donors informed if the gas station company refuses the fund and the money will be refunded. So according to that Go Fund Me terms and conditions, you know, scroll through it.
Did I read it of course I read it. They didn't read it. I guess if the money isn't going to go to what the whole go fund me is for, then they got to return it. So they've gone through all this trouble raising more than enough money to pay back the gas station and then go fund me. Has giving them the double shaft on this one be like, Oh yeah, if I'm not going to take it, you just have to give it all back.
Like that's why you raise the money. And if it's it's fact, it's all sorts of fact. The guy, John, the former manager, said he hopes the company will accept the money because it would give him peace of mind. Yeah. Can you imagine one day you going to work and then later that day you no longer have work and you owe $20,000.
That piece of mine. Yeah. He's currently applying for jobs and said he hopes something great is on the horizon. I hope the same for you, John, and hopefully you're not applying it to the gas stations because fuck them, drive an electric car. That's how we got to get back at Big Oil. Fuck you in. Want to buy your gas?
You don't care about your employees. Do you have a charging station? All right. Next story, Nasser. Well, it was in the news. Big, huge photograph came out and it was from the James Webb Space Telescope, and it delivered the deepest and sharpest infrared image of the distant universe so far. And I have a very compressed version of that photo right there.
Wow. The universe. And so looking at this, it's like, oh, yeah, cool. There's a bunch of stars and light. But to really understand how impressive this is, this image was a sliver of I can't even I don't want to do the big squares. I just BPP little square. It's the equivalent of looking up at the sky, taking a grain of sand, extending it arm's length and to that little portion of the sky is what they took a photo of which is insane that this image I'm I go back to it this image is not just stars in our galaxy the bright ones because they're closer was more exposure when the image was taken.
Those ones are cool. There's a few of them. Big old bright blue ones. But like all of these little tiny orange and yellow and all that, those are galaxies. Galaxies we live in one of them, and we've explored just a teeny weeny, itty bitty part of it. Everything out there, or galaxies filled with hundreds of billions of trillions of stars.
And it leads me to the question, and I've had this conversation ad nauseum with one of my friend groups shout out the my boys. The question is, are there more grains of sand on every single beach across the world or stars in the universe? And since day one, since this was brought up, I'm seeing stars in the universe and we can't even comprehend how many stars there are, let alone that one image was galaxies full of stars.
And you have to think I mean, sure, there is a lot of grains of sand on all the beaches in our world, but there are more stars and I'll die on that hill. And the fact too, and it's in the article, you can check the link to that. All the links like I said so and ltd dot com slash blog go to this episode episode 20 and look it up.
The fact that they used that grain of sand to explain how much of the sky was sampled in this image is a piece of sand. The argument is over. If you think, Oh no, no, no, a grain of sand and you think there are more stars than grains of sand on every single beach? Oh, yeah, 100%. Don't at me.
Or do I mean, I'll argue with you too. The cows come home, but you're going to lose because this is the first image of probably many. Because, I mean, you got to think how many little sands you take. One picture there, one there, one there. Poop. I mean, it'll take forever and you'll find out. I mean, if you do the math, what's the average amount of stars in a galaxy?
How many galaxies in just one fucking image did we just take? There's more stars than sense. The next story. BMW makes heated seats an $18 a month subscription service. Well, if BMW didn't want to add to their reputation that rich fucken pricks drive their cars now it's just that much more. BMW is toying with charging monthly subscriptions for certain digital connected drive options for a few years, testing the waters in different markets with different features.
Korea is the latest market for subscription based options, and customers can now pay monthly for physical options, such as heated seats and a heated steering wheel. So we are entering the time in history where even when something tangible that you acquire, you get it, you bought it, there's still special features that need to be unlocked. Good old fashioned micro-transactions, as cynical as that might sound, which yeah, it is fucking cynical.
Korean owners aren't forced to pay monthly for heated seats. Oh, yeah. No, you just get to freeze your ass off or any BMW has other available options, but monthly payments can be made to try those out. So I guess we're doing an optional like, hey, you've already paid 50, 60, 70 K on this car. Do you want to pay monthly for heated seats?
That option's given out. I don't know who's taking it because, like. No, I bought the car with heated seats. I can just remotely shut it off. Heated seats, for instance, cost 24,000, uh, currency I'm not familiar with, but the conversion by $18 per month. But you also pay you can also pay for the one year subscription, $176 a year for heated seats, which you've got to think about it.
If you do have heated seats, you only need it like maybe half of the year. So now you're doubling up if you're going to pay for heated seats every month. And the dog dick days of summer this 95 out it it's not yeah it's not a good plan it doesn't have use all year long or you could do the three year subscription $283 again three years comes down to one and a half years of actually needing those heated seats.
And you could buy the heated seats permanently for a very reasonable fee of $406. Get fucked. BMW, some other options available with monthly or yearly subscriptions are high beam assistant who cares about safety as long as you don't pay for it. Fuck you, BMW is driving assistance plus software, a heated steering wheel and an artificial noise generator to give it electric cars like the I4, M50, a sci fi noise while driving.
Oh wow. You went to you chose electric because you said fuck the gas stations, John can't get a job back. He owes him 20 grand. So I bought this electric car, but oh, boy do I miss the sound of an exhaust. So I'm going to pay BMW so it can sound cool and even sci fi noises. Get a fucking spaceship.
Those will be available for different fees, of course. Nickel and dime, nickel and dime. And some can be added to a customer's car immediately via computer or smartphone. So if you have the cash and you have the app, just activate the BMW plus, which there's a plug in later in the show where I'm going to do a little ad spot on the paid subscriptions.
You can contribute to this show, but I think it's a really, really good timing to let you know about it right now because it's not like, oh, if you pay by a parade plus subscription, it's not like you have to do it to listen to the show. No, it's just it's optional and it helps out. Hash tag small businesses instead of BMW, huge car manufacturer.
That's how it should be. Hey, do you want a premium option? Heated seats. They've played their carts. They've had heated seats in cars for 20 years. Standard or standard? Premium? Premium plus. But now you have to fork out more money. You don't have to fork out more money for this show. But if you want to, that's my approach.
Okay, next story, Albuquerque erecting statues of Walter White and Jesse Pinkman in a move to reveal what is likely the first ever municipal statues honoring meth manufacturers, the city of Albuquerque is unveiling status statues. Jesus Christ, statues dedicated to Breaking Bad characters Walter White and Jesse Pinkman, according to a press pool press release. Oh, my God. I'm out here now working the statues were originally commissioned from sculptor Trevor Grove in 2019 by series creator Vince Gilligan, who is donating the statues to the city alongside Sony Pictures television.
Over the course of 15 years, two TV shows and one movie, Albuquerque has been wonderful to us. I wanted to return the favor and give something back, Gilligan said. These larger than life bronzes of Walter White and Jesse Pinkman exist thanks to the generosity of Sony Pictures television. And thank you. Our corporate sponsor and the artistry of sculptor Trevor Gore, as I mentioned.
And I love them. And it makes me happy to picture them gracing the Duke City for decades to come, attracting busloads of tourists. I mean, I guess it makes sense. I picture what you knew about Albuquerque before 2007 whenever the show started airing. It's now it's like, oh, Albuquerque, New Mexico, Breaking Bad. Better call Saul. Yes, they make sense it's ironic because they dealt meth and killed people and it wasn't like, oh, happy go lucky but I'm sure Albuquerque, New Mexico are like, yeah, we want that.
More than a decade after the release of their original show, Breaking Bad continues to drive tourism to Albuquerque, not the least because of the show's Greg gorgeous, gorgeous cinematography. I swear to God I read these beforehand, but my tongue sometimes is a little slow, portraying its stark desert vistas. So yeah, according to all the shots in the shows, if you've watched them, it looks beautiful.
Looks need a shit. The statues will be displayed inside of the Albuquerque Convention Center after being revealed on July 29th, which aren't coming up. So we might have a follow up to this actually show in pictures. Hopefully they do it right and I'm thinking of the Renaldo bust, the statue that doesn't look like him. You can look that one up.
So hopefully they get you know what? And I wonder what Walter they're going to use. Is it going to be like end of the series Heisenberg or is it going to be like chemistry teacher Walter White? We'll find out. Okay. Next story, Russian mother arrested for selling newborn baby to pay for $3,600 nose job. Oh, this one seems a little juicy.
The woman who is 33 years old and whose name has not been made public by Russian media, has brought has been brought into custody at the end of May on suspicion. Again, I apologize. It's an off day suspicion of being involved in the trafficking of human beings. Well, it is reported that the mother gave birth to the baby boy on April 25th and then sold him off just five days later to a local couple that was wanting to become parents.
On the same day that she allegedly gave up the boy over to his new parents, she allegedly provided them with a waiver for the rights to the child, which I guess you can just print that out in Russia and exchange a modest upfront payment in the amount of 360 was made to her on May 26. Less than four weeks later, it is believed that the woman received the remainder of the cash.
However, the police were tipped off shortly after the transaction was completed. It is unknown who called the police, but the woman, along with the man and woman who had unlawfully adopted the newborn son, was hauled into custody. Also, immediately after the call was made, the woman is said to have given the newborn child to the new parents along with the baby's birth certificate.
So, I mean, I guess you could just go. Here you go. I do not want them any more. It's the Russian way. But the new parents denied having paid any money to the woman for the infant. They reported that the mother then requested 30 $200 USD to cover the expense of a nose operation for the sake of improved breathing and that they were pleased to comply with her request.
So this appears to be in the motherland you can just buy and sell child it's it is completely up to you you need nose shop sell your kid according to additional statements made by officials, she is accused of committing a felony under the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation, which is the buying or selling related to a person who is in a known condition of helplessness.
Now, this is interesting to take apart the penal code in Russia, because this part of the criminal code is the buying and selling related to a person who is known, who is in a known condition of helplessness. So a baby. Yeah, baby can't decide. Would you like to be sold? Well, like they don't know yes and no yet.
They are they don't have any concept of what a monetary transaction is. So Yes, they're helpless. But what about the people that aren't helpless? What if, you know, you reach adulthood in Russia and then you just want to sell yourself, not for sex. You just want like, hey, fuck my parents. I do not want to live with them anymore, but I'm old enough to make decision for me, which is why I have listed myself for sale.
You can buy me well. How well will they contribute to your family? Well, they will take a bed. They will eat your food. I will be good addition to family. Just give me a shot. And that's not illegal in Russia, just when they're helpless. Well, where? Next story. Oklahoma man says Bigfoot made him kill his fishing partner. Larry, 53, stands charged with first degree murder for allegedly admitting first to a family member and later to police to killing his noodling fishing partner.
Jimmy, if if you don't know what noodling is, it's when you take your finger and you go and you noodle it in the hole underwater. And as you're noodling, catfish will see your little noodle. And then they'll swim up and think that it's an edible noodle. And then when it both latches on, then you pull your whole hand out and you just noodle the catfish.
At least that's how I understand it. Larry had claimed he wanted him dead by the hand of the mythical monster Bigfoot. Police told local media that Larry, quote, appeared to be under the influence of something. Yeah, probably when he told police that he had struck, strangled and then drowned Jimmy. So his statement was that Mr. Jimmy had summoned Bigfoot to come and kill him.
And that's why he had to kill Jimmy, said the local sheriff. He added, You still have to prove all the elements of the crime and what the suspect is telling you. You have to prove that that's what actually happened. So what the sheriff is saying is, without saying it directly is, I believe, Larry, we have to make sure we are find Bigfoot and see if he's out there and ask him, hey, were you summoned to kill this this feller?
This guy might be awaiting trial for a while. A lawyer's got to get all the evidence in order, and that's pretty much what that's what he's saying. You still have to prove all the elements of the crime and what the suspect is telling you. You have to prove that that's actually what happens. They have to go out and find Bigfoot.
This will be an open case for years. The sheriff said that the local prosecutor would likely push for the death penalty if Larry is found guilty in the case. So chances are in this investigation, they're not going to find Bigfoot. They're going to have to move on with trial and depending on the jury, on if they're Bigfoot skeptics or not, they might rule it as guilty.
You killed this guy in cold Bigfoot blood. You're getting the chair. And can you imagine, right? Bigfoot was summoned. Kill him. That's why he felt like he had to kill his noodle and partner. He goes to the chair. Lethal injection. How are they off people? Capital punishment in Oklahoma. Can you imagine? It's electric chair. And right before he goes and he looks over and it's Bigfoot Holden holding the switch often.
That would be hilarious. But also, like, he looks over at his and that's him.
And, I mean, then it was all true that Larry or no Jimmy that Jimmy had actually summoned Bigfoot. It just took a while. He had to get through all the legal stuff, and then Bigfoot struck the electric chair. Okay. Let's check out this next story, which is the last one on the segment. And it's some wild news. Oh, that's some war I old news.
Two men catch fire at Gwyneth Paltrow's goop store in the Hamptons. Huh? Two men attending the event at Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop store in the Hamptons, as I mentioned, caught on fire after rubbing alcohol caused an explosion on the premises. The two men were extinguished with a fire extinguisher. One of the men was in serious condition after the incident and medivaced to Stony Brook University Hospital with burns on the back and face.
The other man suffered facial burns and was transported by ambulance to a hospital. Officials say they are unsure of the current condition. This isn't the first time the actress's brand or candles have been linked to fire. And if you're not familiar, Gwyneth Paltrow, she plays well. She was in that country strong movie that I told you was not worth your time to watch.
But she's in it. She's in country, Tyrone. But she's she's Pepper Potts in all of the Iron Man Avengers and all the Marvel stuff. She came out with a candle for semi recently and then the last few years smelled like her vagina. Apparently, maybe it was the the lady from that gym clip rubbing her snail juice all over it.
Maybe she's trying to do the same thing. Make her own candle. The Texas man or a Texas man. This is previous stories linked to Fire for the Pussy Candle. The Texas man sued Goop last year over the brands of vagina scented candle that he claimed exploded on his bedside table. He filed a class action complaint and sought damages of $5 million, alleging that this after alleging that after burning the candle for 3 hours, it became engulfed in high flames and left a black burn ring on his nightstand.
So he bought this Percy candle thinking, I want to wake up and go to sleep, smell Gwyneth Paltrow's pussy. And the candle said, Well, just a little. It's used in moderation. It burst into flames, allegedly. However, a warning on the $75 candle called this. This smells like my vagina, as I mention, urges users not to burn it for more than 2 hours at a time.
Or why it's a candle. Are you just trying to, like I was mentioning, savor the stench of pussy 2 hours a day? I mean, any more than that, that's a lot of pussy. It's too much. Our research shows that most people can't handle it. So 2 hours earlier in the same year, a woman, one Yeah, she won the same vagina scented candle in an online quiz.
Like what? Smells like my pussy. It's my candle. You win. Congratulate She, too, claimed the risque product cause chaos. After lighting it, the candle exploded and emitted huge flames with bits flying everywhere. She told the Sun in January 2021. I've never seen anything like it. First off, I've never seen a candle scented like a vagina. But also I've never seen a candle scented like a vagina bursting into flames.
Oh, the whole thing was ablaze and it was too hot to touch. There was an inferno in the room. So if you are sitting at home, relax and candles lit and one of those candles happens to be Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina candle. But a timer on the bitch because it might go up in flames. This episode of The Sway Parade is brought to you by support from Parade Plus members.
I mentioned it earlier in the show and here is the full plug. I want to give a shout out to AJ Jo, Michael Davis, Reverend Tanna Mills, Quinn and Tyler. If you're interested in helping support the show in a monetary fashion, head on to sway unlimited dot com slash pricing and choose your plan. Lowest one starts $6.90 per month and then that top one parade plus infinity is $0.69 a month for 69 years.
Everything's paid up front access, perks, all that stuff. That information is there. But ultimately you get a good feeling for help support the show. And speaking of the show, let's get back to it.
Look at that big old belly. Chuck, you get the wrap. Was there a deep shot? Okay. Segment here on the Sway Parade, it's called The Deep Shot, used to be a full podcast. And now it's not just a little segment, a little bit of fun. First thing here on The Deep Shot is a clip. And it was support supported.
It was provided by Orson. Again, this whole episode, I didn't really thumb in and craft my words. I'm sorry. Maybe I'm maybe it's a hydration thing. Maybe I just need some water, some of chuck secret stuff. Oh, maybe that'll do it. This clip was submitted by listener Austin in addition to that three year old iPad P.O.V.. And let's take a look at it built and then go.
And that one is belted to deep left field and that baby is gone. So this is a fun cut because this isn't what happened in the actual game. I believe this clip actually might have been covered on the deep shot when it was a full show. At least this first part do gets hit by a pitch and the thickness of his behind.
He just had a lot of junk in the trunk and that ball went flying away. But then the fun added of this is that pitch bounced off his ass and went yard. Oh, and that one is belted to deep left field and that baby is gone. Went yard on that ass. So thank you, Orson, for submitting that clip.
And again, open season. If you find anything sports news or clips related and you want them seen on the show, send them my way. Take a look. More in the deep shot. We have a clip here. Another one. Let's see what this is all about. This is at a L.A. Dodgers game staying in baseball and people are throwing drinks, dumping them on people.
They're trying to calm these ladies down. There's a lady that comes around the corner and oh, it is on ding, ding, ding. Fists are being thrown. So I've been to this point, it's it's just a altercation at a baseball game. They happen it looks like they're fans of the same team, the Dodgers. But something developed that caused drinks to be thrown, which is I feel like it should take a lot.
Are you spending $20 for a little 12 ounce of beer? So and I saw at least 150 $200 of beer and liquid being thrown. So something I mean, this heated, they're going at each other and then it cuts. Here's a snap. And this is actually how I found this clip captioned here on the snap, pervert old man goes and pinches one of the ladies in the scuffle on the upper inner thigh, really close to the danger zone of straight up Trump and her grabbing her by the purse.
She's grabbing it. It looks like the fight is kind of over. And these guys are just trying to corral these women. So, hey, it's baseball. It's Pastor Karma. Fuck down. It's. And you got security involved. The the girl who was up top, it was basically the only one when this fight started who had the high ground. She's just kind of like, whatever, man.
That's whatever you got. Security things seem to have calmed down a little bit and they're trying to explain, hey, this guy, look at your watch and what time is it? It's Dodger time or whatever. I don't know. So going back to the part of the clip, the pervert old man. So I have a theory here. I'm not saying it's right.
I'm not saying it's accurate. He could have very well just been a shark blood in the water. It's like there's a pussy right there. I'm going to go grab it. But I think it's a little bit different. Obviously, the scuffle has been going on because the video then cuts and then shows this pervert old man clip. And while close to the lady's lady parts, it's not there, you can see that he's visibly trying to pinch.
And given the the look of the old man let me get back to he's an older he looks like he works for the post office with those pants and the tucked in shirt. And then he also has like the military buzz cut that you see in the military and people who just were around in the 1950s and sixties.
So my theory is, is that he was going to pinch to try and like distract or break up the the scuffle. So unfortunately, he went pretty high. So it's those kind of blurred as to what his intentions were. But I recall my mom doing same thing to me, not in fights, but in if we were misbehaving, if I was misbehaving, she would go into my inner thigh meat, which is pretty sensitive place to get pinched, and she'd pinch me and that would make me stop misbehaving.
Whatever. Going back to the kid that was grabbing is his junk. So they half naked mom. He probably got his thigh pinched after the fact for being a little shit. So that's my theory. But again, I could be completely wrong. This guy could actually a pervert, but I think that he was trying to do a little bit of good.
It's just how that was displayed was not so good. But he is just trying to pinch and less and it cuts away here. You can't see he gets that last little pension. Now, if it was on video that he did that and then went, Yes, pervert, old man, 100%. But I don't know. Remains to be seen. What do you think?
Let me now, moving on here we some stories that are sports related. First one, Indian farmers streamed fake pro cricket matches to Russian bettors for two weeks. A group of Indian farmers set up a fake Indian Premier League cricket tournament, so convincing that they managed to trick Russian audiences into making real bets. The fake game took place on a farm in the village of Gujarat, with 21 farm laborers and unemployed teens who were each paid ₹400, which is about $5 USD and tasking and tasked with impersonating pro cricket players from well-known Indian teams.
The farmers reportedly live the tournaments to YouTube over the course of two weeks and even set up a telegram channel dedicated to the games. This is where they took bets from Russian gamblers located in to ver bore ruins and Moscow. I know that one. Despite the fact that the actual Indian Premier League 2022 season closed out in late May.
So if you're a sports gambler and you're betting strictly over the Internet, make sure that whatever you're betting on is actually still going on. But the farmers managed to dupe its Russian audience anyways. Thanks to some clever thinking and makeshift setup, they set up five HD cameras and halogen lights around the field, as well as added sound effects and mimic the noise from a real crowd.
So this was this was elaborate, to say the least. Players swap between jerseys belonging to the show Shacknai Super Kings, Mumbai Indians and Gujarat Titans. While an umpire paraded the field sweeper. It with walkie talkies. As the game progressed, one man took on the role of famous cricket commentator Harsha Bhogle. I apologize. I just don't know how to speak Indian.
If I do, it's very white. Who actually acknowledged the group's epic scam on Twitter, showed Dev DAVIES again stumbling through this whole thing. One of the masterminds behind the phony tournament fed instructions to the umpire based on the live bets they received from the Russians. Oh, so they might have been doing what are they, prop bets or what?
Like, I bet that this next again cricket. I really have no idea but it's wrong. I bet that the next cricket throw is going to be a the the thing a cricket why they call it cricket. This next toss is going to be a cricket. And then they get that bat and he's like, Hey, make sure this next toss is not a cricket the empire will then make a signal to the batsman or bowler to steer bets in their favor.
Indian police busted four of the savvy con men during the tournament's quarter finals and quotations quarter finals who were just taking delivery of ₹300,000, which is about 30 700 USD American dollars from Russian bettors before the shut downs. Oh my goodness. That's it. Goes back to it. If you're going to bet on sports, just make sure you have a reliable feed.
Also make sure when the league is going on, it's like right now, oh, hey, the bills. The bills are playing the Patriots. I'm going to bet on it. So that guy looks like Joshua. Why does it seem to be in a form that's not buffalo? Just. Come on. I mean, these although these bettors were duped, they kind of deserved it.
Do a little bit of research. All right. Next here on the deep shot, Baker Mayfield moving on to football in the NFL. Still in the off season. Nothing's going on right now except some trade, some signings and some rumors. New report. So Baker Mayfield was a Cleveland Brown and then they cut him for a song alleged sexual like serial sexual offender Deshaun Watson.
We covered him a few weeks ago make of Baker Mayfield has a new team Carolina and some reports are now starting to come out that while he was in Cleveland he wasn't the best person to deal with and not what you want in the quarterback of the team the what's supposed to be the de facto team leader. Browns are saying that Baker Mayfield was viewed as childish and immature and his behavior divided locker room per report.
Now, this report was pretty brief, but there is a tweet that I'll get to here in a second that kind of lends some credibility to it. During his time with the Browns, Mayfield was widely viewed as childish and immature and Mayfield's behavior annoyed teammates and divided the locker room. And he was reportedly often difficult to coach. And there is a tweet here that, like I said, sheds a little on to how Baker Mayfield might have might have been as a teammate for one, an NFL franchise.
So here's a screenshot of a tweet. This is just a regular this is Zane's Twitter on Twitter tweeted out, this was Christmas Eve of 2021. I just played ten games of Halo with Baker Mayfield and he added me, what the fuck? And then the next image on the tweet or the next tweet, next image of the tweet is retweet, a quoted retweet.
Pretty much going by, you know. Baker Mayfield was difficult to deal with as a teammate. And the caption or the quote on the tweet. True Story Week. We played Green Bay last year, baker home that week with COVID. They sent him game plan all week for him to study on his own. Browns find Baker played Halo ten plus hours each day Wednesday Thursday and Friday shows up Saturday in Green Bay.
Green Bay not knowing the game plan for interceptions. So this kind of adds up. Granted, it's on Twitter. It's not verified, but it sounds like it makes a lot of sense. Baker Mayfield just spending all that time playing Halo, not preparing for the game, then shows up to the game. They, as Russell Wilson says, the separations and the preparation and he wasn't prepared.
He was to mark on some kids and do T-Bag Holmes on Halo but not to play NFL football. All right what else do we have here on The Deep Shot? Ah, yes. Right before we get in the country strong, we have probably the biggest story of the NFL in the last week for sure. Last two weeks going on it now.
It's a little dated, I'm sure you've heard of it. But if not, Zach Wilson's ex accuses him of sleeping with his mom's best friend, Zach Wilson's ex-girlfriend. And this is the quarterback for the New York Jets a a Jets fans would say it's a rivalry with the Buffalo Bills, but it's not. The Jets are dog shit. Zach Wilson also got drafted last year, played his rookie season out of BYU.
You know those good boys out of BYU? Those Mormon boys. So this is juicy. His ex-girlfriend appears to be dating his college roommate, Washington commanders, wide receiver DAX Milne, me, Milne, Mar, whatever his name is. After she seemingly accused the Jets quarterback of cheating on her with his mom's best friend, a cougar fever. I mean, he went to BYU and they are the Cougars, so maybe that's some of that repressed energy.
Milne We're Just going to say that this his old roommate, DAX Milne, it goes by. Milne appeared to reveal his relationship with his one time best friend's ex, Abigail, with a romantic Instagram post on Saturday, Word on the Street, he wrote alongside two photos of him on a beach, holding hands and cuddling with his new flame who never showed her face.
Oh, the site, stated Kyle, who split with Wilson, her high school sweetheart, earlier this year, confirmed their relationship in a video on her Instagram, which had been deleted by Monday. In the sense deleted comment, she said that Wilson, quote, was sleeping with his mom's best friend and that's a real homie. Harper And that was in response to this post with Milne.
Melanie I'm like, Oh, you hopping around like that was Zach Wilson's roommate. No, you're fucking him. Like, Well, first off, we're not talking because we're Mormon. We have to get married first. But second, there's a reason we broke up. And it's because Zach went the non-Mormon route and had sex with his mom's best friend. So peace. I'm not in the wrong here.
Wilson's mom's best friend was never identified, and the quarterback does not appear to have commented on the rumor. Hey, probably won't. Meanwhile, Wilson's mom influencer Lisa Needleman Wilson posted an emotional nearly 30 minute long Instagram video Sunday decrying the evils of social media and online predators. Instead of referring to her son's love life, however, she spoke of the pain of her daughter turning on her and hating her because of Satan working through social media.
Now, I pulled this video up. It was nearly 30 minutes long and I wasn't going to watch the whole thing, but I scrub through it. And something in there about Roblox being the evil that is out there and strangers on the internet. I didn't get to the part where Satan had turned her daughter into hating her. Maybe because she's a professional looking the other way.
I mean, her best friend allegedly just got fucked by her son. NFL quarterback. But we'll see how that develops. I think Zach Wilson has some reputation repairing to do this offseason going into the season, but I'm sure we'll be making jokes about him the most. I mean, if you're quarterback for the Jets, you already are a joke. So this is kind of on brand.
Okay. Let us round out this episode by getting country strong. Coaches don't play the week. Oh, Roddy it's a time of week. Many of you favorite parks probably for the country strong. Now I had screened this clip before I show to you I had screened it to one of the listeners. They they'd seen it. I'm like, this here is going strong in it.
And they responded and they're like, hang out. How is that coach was strong Saudi it leads to an important conversation that needs to be had. What in the hell is a country strong? Well, the rundown is we haven't seen all the clips. It's usually a showing, a strength, a showing of just grit, a showing of animals, just being strong.
It's strength. It's really just what it comes down to is if the clip is strong, then it has a chance to be country strong. And there's a bass in that bass is put in by myself. I mean, I'm six foot five over £300. So if I'm going to give all the shine a country strong, it's most likely going to be the big people that get that type of shot.
So I just want to put that out there because you might be watching this clip here in a second and thinking how is that country strong? Well, if you really know what country strong is, the question, it's undeniable. And this year is country strong? This is on a highway on by this man. How is this man riding this by?
He's got to be like five, six on a pilot. I've never seen anything like in his reign. And two, it's rains coming down and he's just on the back. At that point, you would think with riding a bike, you need some sort of balance, especially motorbike. I mean, you're going 55 down the highway. But my thought is, is that this man is so country strong in so large that he implements his own gravitational to keep him low to the ground and not crash on this here by.
But that is his country's strongest background I've ever seen. That's a wide bike as it is. You have your two wheels, you have your handles, you got your wheels, you got all of that. But you also have those little sad travel bags. I mean, it's raining out. He's not just going out for an Sunday ride. He's going somewhere and he is wider than the bike.
And that's a big old bike. This ain't a small bag, as I just explain. And that is why he's hurt, too. It's dry. Oh, oh, oh, oh, man. At some point I will do a probably for the year. So near the end of this year do a country strong ranking and go through them all. I think at this point this one's up there that's most definitely up there because it's no go back to it again.
You got to try such a large man on such a medium sized bike. Really, it's a big bike, but he makes it look like it's big. Okay, well, that pretty much does it for this week. I'm going to get out of here. I do want to give a final shout out again to AJ, Joe, Michael Davis, Reverend Tanner, Mills, Quinn and Tyler for being monetary supporters of the show and kind of out there too if you want to help support it's here Swain Ltd dot com slash pricing where you can check that out but yeah that pretty much does it for the show this week.
Thanks for viewing. Thanks for watching. Be sure to hit the subscribe. Leave a review if you liked it. If not, I mean you can leave me in comments too. I'll take any comments at this point. I'll give a shit. So. Okay. Until next week. Bye. Bye.