Sway Parade #2 Show Links



Sup y'all!


Here are the links for the Sway Parade Podcast: Episode 2

 

Lil Bit'a News


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-Teacher left classroom on stretcher after 5-year-old student’s attack

https://www.local10.com/news/local/2022/03/04/teacher-hospitalized-after-5-year-old-students-attack-in-broward/










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-Woman quits job to breastfeed boyfriend full time

https://www.mystateline.com/news/weird/woman-quits-job-to-breastfeed-boyfriend-full-time/?fbclid=IwAR3ihFu5kLB_4zMvbYv4O-7f6zDirhksubrl1db6MdvmqNyBvwSpsC-aX5I


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-Mail carrier accused of beating wild turkey to death in California

https://www.oregonlive.com/nation/2022/03/mail-carrier-accused-of-beating-wild-turkey-to-death-in-california-but-was-it-self-defense.html



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-Quebec diner drops word ‘poutine’ over dish sharing name with Russian president

https://globalnews.ca/news/8654811/quebec-diner-drops-word-poutine-over-ukraine-war/




-French poutinerie tells customers it's not linked to Russian president after threats

https://montreal.ctvnews.ca/french-poutinerie-tells-customers-it-s-not-linked-to-russian-president-after-threats-1.5804493?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark

 

The Deep Shot


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-Russia Says It Has American Basketball Player in Custody

https://twitter.com/hoopfeed/status/1500161350693126146?s=20&t=EFaLnAHIpzwZmsj1qDWQOQ




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-EA Sports to remove Russian teams from FIFA, NHL video games

https://www.axios.com/ea-sports-russian-fifa-video-games-b4a310c6-4d83-409d-89fe-c922806fb98e.html




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-Vladimir Putin's Black Belt Revoked by International Taekwondo Organization

https://www.newsweek.com/vladimir-putins-black-belt-revoked-international-taekwondo-organization-1683304









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-Combine Stud

https://twitter.com/coreyelliot/status/959623694472630276?s=21






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-Country Strong: A woman amongst girls

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CaqIYq1laeH/?utm_medium=copy_link





 

Scrub My Clip

Sign up for Parade+ to watch uncensored!



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-How the sausage is made

https://www.instagram.com/tv/Cask0m-JPWe/?utm_medium=copy_link








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-Airplay stays on during porn

https://twitter.com/kallt0/status/1497736248181547008?s=21


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-Recommended disposing before disposing

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CYXLsZ_MkBt/?utm_medium=copy_link







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-Death wish in the big blue

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CQ1mWzIHZQq/?utm_medium=copy_link






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-I hope a cute alt gamer girl came to his rescue

https://www.instagram.com/p/CXtxMSzp9g9qKiN36vs42u-HsN_whoVOiRKbEU0/?utm_medium=copy_link







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-It’s the wools thiccness for me

https://www.instagram.com/tv/CXeWPn-ocjYUmJV4xfNyVwN3tiTpU8j7F4Um3A0/?utm_medium=copy_link







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-Paul Giamatti’s favorite deli meat

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CVyCNenJhQc/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link






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-The boy becomes a man

https://www.instagram.com/tv/CWdyYJBMLLN/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link







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-Don't Be A Weekend Parent

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxJrLaKxZJg




 

Transcript


I would like to think that when they announced this, Putin was in his war room, in his office or whatever, talking to his generals. And it's like, this is the next step we must take. And then he just goes, oh, no, oh, he keeled over and pain. The general Bolton, what is wrong? What what do we need to do to help you?




Oh, I can feel my like quando was dissolving it's this sway parade with shock sway welcome into the sway parade. My name is shook sway. And here for another week of clips and sports and news and all that fun stuff. But before we begin, I really want to let you know that you can help support the show on SwayUnlimited.com.




Now, it's kind of like a patron, but it's hosted directly on this site. I'm a cheap son of a bitch trying to keep the minutes clean of language, and I don't want to pay patriotic cut. So I decided to do it. My swell. My swell. You call the sweet tree on? I guess so. You can go there. Sign up.




There are a bunch of different options to choose from starting a parade, plus starting at $6.90. a month and going all the way up to a one time payment of $69 for a parade plus infinity membership. So log on and take a look. And I also want to talk about the Sway Parade Discord server. There's a whole bunch of fun stuff here that will be populated in time, I assure you.




I'll be just taking a look at it. It's a full blown server. Full blown channel. You got rules basically. Just don't be a piece of garbage. They that hard important links to the Sway Parade podcast. You can see all these different channels. First and foremost, I should mention Sway call into the show all play whatever you leave on that voicemail on the show.




Next we have writing into the show you can send an email at Howdy at SwayUnlimited.com or find the link here right in the discord. And then what I'm thinking of doing in these other text channels is basically giving you a little bit of insight of what you might see on the show just to give you kind of a little prep as well as the show notes.




So the one thing if you do not have a parade plus membership, totally fine. I get it. You have dollars going other other places I post all the show links at SwayUnimited.com. We get them, we plug in that URL like our mother. So they're all going to be there. But also in the discord you'll have those links.




So instead of being blurred on YouTube or if you're listening, you use your imagination, you can find the links on the discord as well. Taking a look at that. There's also a guest request channel if you want to come onto the show. This, you know, we're two episodes in. It's only been solo runs thus far, but guests are definitely in the agenda at some point in time.




And we also have this channel called Live Recording and what that's going to be. Now, just to give some real time reference, I'm recording this the second episode of the Sway Parade, even before the first episode launches. So Discord is kind of dead. It's kind of the first. I'm talking about it, but that live recording will be a stage channel that you can tune in in real time.




It's basically a live stream of the episode being recorded raw in all of its glory because there's some flub up. So it is what it is. It's before it reaches the post-production editing bay so you can listen in and you won't get the visuals. But here's what it is. You use your imagination, you're listening so you can engage there and then last is the guest room.




If we do or when we do, I should say, get around to doing guests. That will be a potential avenue to go into that channel and we record the podcast there straight from the Discord. So yeah, the sweet break discord definitely something to check out now, something that's open to the general public that is a fan of the parade.




We have all these different channels, your general channel introductions when you join and then the new sports and memes and even the rabbit hole. These channels, when you find something that you want to share, share right here, and there's a very good chance that it'll end up on the show and then we have here this channel. I have not reached minutes yet, so I can't say the full name of the channel, but it's thick pooh.




But the alternative curse to that, and that is the mass of W channel. So we'll get a little alteration there. Yeah, there can be some nasty things in that thick channel. There's also a voice lounge if you want to chat among yourselves and hop in there too from time to time. And then there's, you know, some links uh, another thing here project that I've been working on that is not yet available.




So yeah, check out the Sway Parade on Discord and it's going to be the, the main landing for this entire show. Best place to connect, but also social media at Chuck's Way. And let me back up at Chuck Underscore Sway because Chuck's way was taken. I would also sway for a pod on Instagram and I've made the executive decision yet, but I want to say tick tock as well.




Chuck's way is now on Tick Tock. You got to do it for the for the numbers yet. I am not a child with children. If you want to watch, why not? So yeah. And that being said, all of that, the support is driven by you, the listener, by you, the viewer. And so what you can do that doesn't cost you anything.




You don't even have to join parade. Plus in any of its different types of plans, the best thing you could do is like unsubscribe, hit that link down below, hit that bell notification because that supports it. And we need to tap in to that algorithm as best we can. But then also, of course, we're doing it every week.




We need to say our prayer to the almighty algorithm.




Algorithm. It's me again.




Hoping and wishing your grand power can bring us success. And virtue and the spoils of a top tier podcast. Oh, mighty algorithm. We know that you have so much to sort, but it is our request that you sought us a little bit higher amen.




Hopefully the algorithm gets that because we're really counting on it. I'm getting tapping into the spiritual side, trying to to get in the good graces of this algorithm for this sorting. Let's take this thing to the moon. Okay? What's that? Oh, out of the way. Let's get into some news. What's the big deal, fella? It's just a little bad news.




Okay. Our first story teacher left classroom on stretcher. After five year old student attacked the student use fists and feet to hit his teacher in the cooldown room. After he and a four year old started to throw things around and flip chairs, according to the incident report. And Officer responded to the classroom and found that the teacher sitting on the ground against the wall, she was feeling faint, weak and dazed before she started coughing and dry heaving again.




According to the report, and the student. Oh, my goodness. The five year old student, just a wee chap, is facing a charge of aggravated assault with hands, fists and feet. What in the actual how dumb did he do a five year old beat his teacher within. They they had to break down his weapon. Whose hands fists and feet so I guess hands the slapping the crime of the slap and fists.




The crime of the punch is really what get getting him in a whole lot of trouble. Now, I do remember when I was probably five around the same age as this child that I got put down in a I put I got put in a cool down room, but I don't recall ever getting that aggressive, especially the point where I beat the everlasting crap out of my teacher.




You'd imagine what that situation was like. Oh, no, Timothy. No, no, come down. No, don't don't do that. And just the rage just building up in this five year old and it just like little mini hulk just snapped, slapped, punched and kicked in was just going all crazy. I'm curious. They didn't say in the report how old this teacher was at that, you know, stage in education, preschoolers, you don't really need any sort of orderly C's to maintain the peace.




So I would assume is probably an older woman that's just like, yeah, like I have I've been teaching for years. I've seen it all and all of a sudden slap in your face. Oh, that's I don't even know how like that's a hard kid like going like just mean mugging. Just chest out. Little Timothy, you've been charged with aggravated assault.




How do you plea? I even know what that word means. Plead. Get out of here. So, I mean, hopefully the teachers. Okay, but I feel like it's one of those situations, especially in today's day and age, where the parents of this child will blame the school. And it's their fault because you can't hate kids anymore, mostly for good reason.




But sometimes kids need to get slapped around. But in this case, the kid slap back hurt our next story um, this one is interesting. This is why it's on the show. Some dudes use powder. That's for sure, but this guy needs it straight from the source. And talk about trying to build your body up, get nice, and being cut and yoked and all those other words.




Woman quits job to breastfeed boyfriend full time. She left her job because. Well, let me make sure that I'm at my time. I think I'm right at minutes she left her job because she needed to give more attention to her tits and her boyfriend. So we got here a woman in Atlanta says she had quit her job in order to pump enough breast milk to feed her bodybuilding boyfriend every hours.




Now it's a little different. I will say. I'm not heard of any sort of story like this before, but in the grand scheme, of things, as far as commitment goes to this relationship, she's she gets a passing grade that is dedication, like babe, a more milk trying to get there. It's like, my God, I have to go to work to enough to feed us.




I don't care about normal food, your food right there in your tits. And I want them. So, okay, I'll talk to my boss and he'll leave my job. Yeah, she said she was single when she found a website about adult breastfeeding relationships. Parentheses of the Abby are a part of that community. Which, I mean, , . Are we really surprised that there is a entire community for people that want to be in adult breastfeeding relationships?




She said. I've taken a break from my job because I wanted to develop, devote pardon. I want to devote everything to making this work. And she believes adult breastfeeding will create a, quote, magical bond between her and her boyfriend and hopes nursing will give his body health benefits now I haven't sucked on a titty for nutrients for close to years.




I feel like I'm doing pretty good. I think most of you have not sucked on a titty for nutritional purposes for since you were just a wee little lad or lad debt. So I don't really understand how we're just okay. It'll be a magical bond between us. Sure, if you're sucking on someone's titties, you better have some sort of mutual respect and understanding between each other.




Because it's special. Who doesn't like to suck on a titty or get their titties sucked? But the fact that this guy needs it to get big and strong when he's a grown ass man moves us more suss of that for sure. And yeah, where's the science? Like, I think it'll I think it'll help him. They'll give health benefits psyched.




He doesn't need it. He's growed. He's all grown up more. So the previous story with the five year old probably got a little bit too much breast milk and a slap, and teachers around this guy just wants to build up his body. And he he I'm curious, actually, who came up with the idea was a herb like because she's into the the Abby are the adult breastfeeding relationships.




She's like I think you know I know you're super fit and I just want you to be as strong as you can. And I was wondering maybe you could how many tits and drink the milk can make you stronger. He's probably like, hmm yeah. Wave protein and creatine and all that other good stuff. It does a job, but I mean, I can suck on your titties and maybe get more built in my body, but I don't know.




Curious to find out if you or someone you know is a part of and a, b r let me know in the Dischord. Shouldn't email it. I can even call it an sway. Be like I've been sucking on titties for nutrition for the last years with my wife, and I'm healthier than an ox, if not sort of suck on titties.




Well, nevertheless, like I said, it's a little weird. I don't do it, but good for them. I mean, it's all about trying new things and being comfortable. Okay, next story. Mail carrier accused of beating Wild Turkey to death in California. California wildlife authorities and the U.S. Postal Service are investigating reports that a mail carrier beat a wild turkey to death in Sacramento County.




Witnesses report in post on social media that a mail carrier, after being accosted by a particularly aggressive turkey, retrieves a pole or stick from his vehicle and use it to fatally beat the bird Listen here. Birds. Wild birds are fucking terrifying. When I was a kid, I was attacked by a rooster that I just heard this story recently from some family members.




I provoked it. %. I'm poking at that cock. Yeah. Stupid chicken. Stupid chicken. And then I turned around and that Russia was like, Fuck you, I'm going to fuck you. Shit. And it came up and it launched as high as a chicken can go in. It clasped its large talons into the back My back and was just like the fucking teach you.




And I guess I was running around while walking. I was trying to get this rooster off of me. And since then, I have not trusted chickens at all. And so, I mean, would I go as far as grabbing a pole or a stick to beat a turkey senseless? I don't know. I've never been in that situation. So it might be just.




It might not be it might be some animal cruelty, but turkey's bigger than a chicken, and proportionally it's about the same. If I find myself in that situation, I had a stick. I'd defend myself and the boss staff just going toe to toe with this target. What do you mean? I guess turkeys are assholes, so. Yeah, I don't know.




I got to find a turkey Here's a quote. We are currently launching a thorough investigation of the incident. Mico Patton, a local U.S. Postal Service spokesperson, said in an emailed statement. Our employees have had several altercations with aggressive turkeys in the area, including a recent attack on a letter carrier. We have been working with the Department of Fish and Wildlife to mitigate the issue.




Do you think that, like the central sorting hub and the post office, they have pictures of the turkeys of like a warning like please stay clear. This is their last known location. They are aggressive. They want to fuck you and your mail and our the people's mail the public's mail. I mean, when you put it in that perspective, I think you can make the argument that these turkeys are public enemy number ones.




So do I feel particularly bad that this one turkey got its absolute shit rocked? Not really. I said birds are scary. All right. And to round out the news, we got some wild news. And it's a twofer idea that some wild names Two wild news stories this week, both related. First one, Quebec diner drops word poutine over dish sharing name with Russian president.




Quebec Ian. I don't know if that is the proper term, but it's one that I put in diner accused last week on Facebook are announced. They announce they're accused that they have a dish named after Vladimir Putin. But they announced last week on Facebook it was temporarily temporarily removing the word poutine from some of its online branding to express its deep dismay over Russian aggression in Ukraine.




In French, Vladimir Putin's last name is written and pronounced poutine, exactly like Quebec's signature dish. The restaurant has since deleted the post, but its Facebook page still describes it as the inventor of the fries, cheese gravy rather than poutine. That's it's a very small casualty in this entire conflict. But the fact that they have to divert the main name, one of Canada's greatest inventions and call it an alternative like it is some sort of off brand molto meal dish of fries, cheese, gravy.




I mean, come on, really put poutine. You think of poutine, you think of Canada, you think of the great white north, you think of fucking hockey. And Sirup and very kind and nice people. So why would we think that a Canadian staple product that is embedded in the Canadian DNA is in a homage to a Russian warlord? That doesn't make any sense.




In the second story, it's equally as ludicrous French poutine. Tory tells customers it's not linked to Russian president after threats. They're basically coming out and saying, Hey, Dick wads, this is a dish with fries, cheese and gravy. Oh, and by the way, it is delicious. Not Putin. It's not named after Putin. Chain of restaurants in France. This is a little bit of a cross over here, kind of the the parent saluting the the child because of French, Canadian, French, Canada, and then France, French, France, specializing in the Canadian delicacy.




Poutine is distancing itself from the Russian president, Vladimir Putin and his regimen after it says it has been getting threatening calls from the public since the invasion of Ukraine. Again, read a fucking book if you have any knowledge actually let me back up. If you have knowledge of what's going on in Ukraine and the involvement with Russia, you should already know what Putin is in that it is completely removed from that situation in every single way.




I know people are getting upset. They're trying to go after Putin. I tell you what, I was in Vancouver right before the Pandi started. Like literally, like there were reports that it was making its way through the planet, through the world. We went up to Canada and I had poutine. I was there one night, two nights, I was there two nights.




I had poutine. For every meal I had traditional poutine. I had Thai fusion poutine. And then even when I got back across the border into the good ole U.S. away, I stopped at a place near near the border and ordered poutine. And at no point back then was I thinking, man, the Russian, Canadian French minds. And that got put together to make this dish.




Oh, fantastic. No, it's French and it's Canadian. It's not fucking Russian. Okay, I want to go get some poutine and try to get some poutine tonight. And it's not Putin cheese. Well, that's the news. Kind of symbolically dropped some some gravy out for this drama. That poutine is being put under poutine, not Putin fuckers. Okay, let's get to some sports of the deep shot.




Good like that may go belly shock. You get the wrestler very deep shot okay. When going through this week and trying to find topical stories that are fun and can have fun poked at them, it's very difficult to avoid the entire Russian news bubble so we got a lot of Russian stories. I said last week that, hey, this is not the place for up to date news updates of what's going on in the conflict.




In the the ins and outs and all that stuff. Now we're going to take the stupid shit. We're going to make fun of it. Okay, real shit's happening on real shit is going on. Real people are dying. It's fucking terrible. But the world is responding in interesting ways that aren't as terrible. First, this is actually kind of terrible.




It's actually really sucks. Russia says it has American basketball player in custody. They didn't say who, but there are some sources that have confirmed that that is Brittney Griner. If you don't know who Brittney Griner is, she is an absolute monster basketball player. She went to Baylor, ran the tables there. Now she plays for the Mercury, the Phenix Mercury.




She's won WNBA titles. She's Olympic gold medalist, multiple times. And she is she's huge. She's like six foot seven and can just she's she's a hoop or she is a fucking baller. Well, she made a not so baller move in Russia, which at this point, why the fuck are you in Russia? Get the fuck out of there. Let it blow over and then go back and do your business whatever you need to do.




The Russian Federal Customs Service said that its officials have detained an American basketball player after finding vape cartridges that contained hashish oil in her luggage. First off, international travel and you're bringing drugs. They have TV shows, seasons of them, with people telling their stories of how they tried to do that. And they ended up in some fuckin gulag because they had a little bit of drugs.




I was just trying to help a friend out or just thought it would be a little bit. There's actually a video security footage of this ordeal. The original link that I had just the poof vanished. And I put it in here not half an hour ago before I started recording. It's gone. It's already being silenced. But here she is.




You can get a sense for her size. She is extremely tall. And extremely bold for trying to get hash vape pens, a weed pen in or out of Russia. So here she is loading it up on the conveyor belt to go through the the X-ray scanner. And then it cuts here. And they're looking in her bag and says, well, what is this This bag here?




What it's smell. The video I had originally, there was a dog that came up to them and she's like, oh, puppy. And then the dog handler is like this, not puppy. This going to fucking the guarantee. But this guy here, first off, I would expect, you know, as strict as Russia is and their culture and their government and just how they do business, that this is the their their lead TSA agent or whatever the arts say.




And he's just wearing a casual pullover sweater and he's looking at this bag like that's their main guy that they bring in really But yeah, so they're going through her bag. And for reference, because more news could have come out of this by now. It is now March th, the time that this is being recorded. So, I mean, hopefully she's going to be okay.




But now, yeah, they're putting in the evidence bag sealing it up. And then there was yeah, basically here he pulls out this form forms like you see here, banned banned contraband you cannot bring here. Did you read this form before? You came to country? Because it's right here. Right see? Right here. Yes. You need to sign the agree that you have made the big mistake big.




No, no, and yeah, it's this fine print right here in Russian. You want me? I have a translator here. They can tell you that you have done big fuck up. So a wishing all the best to Brittney Griner because that's a tough one. That's a real tough one. I also went back into the Deep Shot archives from season three, to find a little bite that might suggest that the deep shot as far as that brand is and now it's kind of a subbrand might have been on Russia's radar since that time.




So I pulled the sound bite. Let's let's take a listen. Tell me about us Putin. They listen to this podcast. They totally make fun of Senator Trump we must execute the deep shot back then it was just all fine and dandy. Russia is just this idea now. They're this whole blown thing. And so what's happening in the sports world among all the other worlds as we covered with the Putin?




Putin they're trying to they're trying to really crack the whip of what they're doing with sports and really bringing the hammer down on Russia. So this story here, a sports to remove Russian teams from FIFA and NHL video games. Here's my take on this. I said earlier, the stuff that's going down is it's awful. It's terrible. I wish it wasn't happening.




It's giving a lot of people all over the world anxiety because it's like this is usually how these WorldCom flicks began is just the first piece. So everyone that is trying to take a stand like we're with Ukraine, this is terrible. I agree with that. But to basically crack the whip and bring down the hammer on the entire country when I would like to think I've seen some reports.




Right, of Russian nationals protesting the bold face in front of their government. It's like, hey, what the fuck? Why are we doing this? So for a sports and here's an excerpt from the article, they will move the Russian national team and all Russian club soccer teams from its FIFA video game franchise and remove all Russian and Bally Russian hockey teams from the latest NHL video game franchise My take on this is you shouldn't be.




It's a can of worms. I get it. But go after the sons of bitches that are making these decisions. Target them, don't target the whole country. It's not all of Russia's fault. Did they vote to black? Hey, do you want to go and try to fuck up Ukraine and take it back and reignite the Soviet Union? Most women were like, I'm not really like, Oh, well, sorry.




Now you can't play as your favorite team. I mean, the next step to that it's a slippery slope is like, well, and this is right up here. Sports is Ali like, well, we started with the Russian teams, but now we're just we're just going to remove all Russian players from all the rosters and they just could change to like player one, like just some John Smith or Sergei Smith come up with a more Sergei, even Russian.




I say Vladimir, but that's like the lowest hanging fruit. But they'll change it. And then like they're trying to cancel one of the biggest countries in the world. It's just not going to happen. Now, this next story is what is a good thing is what should be happening? And that is Vladimir Putin's black belt revoked by international taekwondo organization.




Yes. Again, target the individuals. Take his black belt away and see what we got here. World Taekwondo label as the international federation that governs the sport and is a member of the Association of Summer Olympics International Federations and International Paralympic Committee. What a fucking mouthful that was announced. It had revoked Putin's honorary Ninth Dan Black belt that was given to him in November of .




Now obviously it's a ceremony will revoke revoke revocation revocation I got to read the dictionary more it's ceremonial they're taking a stance but I would like to think that when they announced this Putin was in his war room in his office whatever talking to his generals and he's like this is the next step we must take. And then he just goes, no.




Oh, he keeled over and pain. The General Bolton, what is wrong? What do we need to do to help you? What I can feel might be like quanto powers dissolving, like we can just keep the peace. You must be strong in front of your people. Please I don't know how to counter a punch. Now, if that happened, I think the conflict would be over.




It'd be really cool. So hopefully there's some some truth to this. To them taking away his black belt. Like I. Putin, we're going to get you just in a room with a fight, because I think he was a fighter. It's like we're going to have you fighting. It's like, I don't know what to do anymore. I forget all my moves.




That's what we want. Don't cancel the entire country. Cancel Putin and cancel x, y, and Z. I don't know any of the other names. I'm not very well read on the situation. I'm just very equipped to make fun of it. The next thing we got going on. So the NFL combine is underway, and I found this clip. It's not from this year, it's from a few years ago.




But Cody O'Donnell, he was a lineman. He was a guard on offensive guard for Washington State University. Win or lose, could still boos and this is a bootleg of his combine one of his combine workouts. So let's take a look All right. I'm going to start with the the tire flips, big ol truck tire these kind of try to go through those I don't know you know, what they're called and he's oh, it's going to try to hit the block on the pole and just oh, he misses it at this point.




He's like, I'm just trying to have fun. Oh, just big and just clumsy. Pick up the bag, run around the corner, just and pick up the ball. No, or grab the ball. There was a fumble. You should have recovered. Take it to the end zone. Go to the hole. Oh, then, yeah. Roll it out. Celebrate in the end zone.




When I first saw this clip, I thought this guy looks like me.




And I have been this clumsy at times for sure, but just like big old meat legs, just except in the fact that he is just blowing this. Last I read, he doesn't play in the NFL. And it's too bad because you wish the best on the trip. There is. He's trying to go down the field picking up the ball again.




That's just tough, right? You started in peewee football. You played in junior football, you played in high school. You were good enough in high school to get a look to go to college. Which Washington State University? I've never been there. I graduated from there, but I've never been there. But I mean, win or lose could still lose. Why wouldn't you want to commit to a school that has that as their mantra, official mantra?




You get to a Division one school, you play college football, you play college football well enough in division one that you get looks. It's like, hey, we want you to come to the combine. We want to see what you're made of. And we might have a spot on an NFL team for you. And to get to that point, get to the combine back.




All right? Like this is the next step. It's a tougher thing to get to. Like no one ever makes it. The NFL of the tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands of football players. There's a couple hundred that are pro. And he goes out and he puts on that kind of display. Tough, real tough, but real fun to watch.




Okay, let's before I run this actually this was going to be the country strong, but then this club showed up and coaches don't play the week. So I talked a little earlier about Brittney Griner and just being an absolute baller, I found another absolute baller in women's basketball. And she is country strong. She does this woman or girl, this is high school, is just a monster, a frickin monster.




Look at this. Just getting it down on the post lane. It up cannot be stopped. Poor girl falls down, looking good, strong block of just an animal. Just an absolute animal that can't be stopped. Cannot be something. This this right here come for the ball. These girls are just. What else can they do? They're putting their hands up.




They're like, I'm going to do the best that I can. And this one right here where I have a pause. That's kind of John at her. And she's like, Do you understand? Are you can you see these? See what you have to guard right now? And I've been in this situation I have played against a guy who was six foot seven and probably £, six foot eight, even his name was Horse like everyone called him House because he was a fucking house.




And I was like, these girls. I was just like, I fucking like, not fast, not quick. But big as all hell and white is all hell. I'm, I'm down trying to play defense and my, my wingspan is not even extending the width of his mouth. So yeah, now they're total baller coach strong nonetheless and with that, that's a deep shot.




Let's move on to scrub my clip is scrub my clip clip all right. We got a bunch of fun clips this week. Friendly reminder that you can view these unedited, uncensored swayunlimited.com with a parade plus membership as I have right here on the pages, what the page looks like on the website, uncut, unedited. We're seeing exactly what we're talking about.




Or I've posted all of the clips that we showed in this week's episode. That's way in limited e-com. Just click this corner right here. Here, I'll show you. Click that little toolbar, go down to show links. Dove right in Follow along. It's a little clunky to watch everything, but that's free. $6.90, though. Can't really be that okay.




First, in this week's edition of Scrub, my clip is basically a breakdown of how the sausage is made. And by sausage, I mean farts in jars. So this is yeah, this is a nice girl, which first takes a piece of her hair, puts it in this jar, making sure that's the first piece of the recipe. Now let's set the jar down and hunch over and one made to order fart.




Just rip an ass into the jar. We only got wow and sealed to retain freshness and then signed autographs and sent off to her loving fans this is actually I feel like in this space with the only fans and offering these kind of kinky services. Transparency is key. I've never seen anything like this before, but if I'm ever in the market to buy Jarred farts, I'm probably going to go to her first because I know, hey, you showed the process.




You're actually ripping ass into this jar, which leads me to a personal story. Literally. Last night, my wife had a pair of her use. Nikki's listed on Facebook. Got a message with the question Hey, do you have any old and worn shoes available? And she responded, She's like, Well, I could wear these more and he responded, Well, I just I want to get ones that are, like, really stinky.




And I told her to lean into. It was like, you are in a very advantageous position to make something like, this is the sugar daddy that we need the both of us to buy a house because there's no other way to do it. So she came back. She was like, Okay, well, it's going to be $160 because obviously he played his hand.




He's like, I want your shoes so I can smell them and feel good about myself because a woman has put her sweaty feet and worked out in them and he turned it down. It's like come on. Like, how much, how much is this jar far cost, really? So, but for her, thank you for sharing. We now know how this is done.




And obviously this is not the only person that's doing it. There's a demand for this. I might think about let me know in the discord in the general channel if you want me to sell my jars of fart because I'm not attractive like this lady. So you're going to get a different brand of farts. But I can tell you what, I can make some fucking stinkers so if you're interested, I would be willing.




I'm willing to do almost anything for a nominal fee. So if you want my boy farts, let me know and escort okay. What do we have here? Oh, this clip. I'm just going to play it, and then we're going to break it down. On a oh, my days. This guy's. He's gone to the toilet. He's just gone to the toilet.




And if he's forgotten, this phone is connected to the TV. I go, not going to go look so this is where you want to go. You're oh, mortified. Absolutely mortified.




He left the airplane on his phone if he didn't gather from the audio and it was still playing on the TV and he's got a Bang Bro's video that is starting the play. Went to the bathroom for a little wank, if you will. And, oh, I thankfully have never been caught in the act of pornographic viewing. And I can only imagine just the terror of someone that, you know, I would rather have a stranger open the door my foot.




Sorry, I never have to see you again, but like these are probably his roommates or his buddies. Now they know what he's into a oh, my days Latina ass. It looks like you just you got it. You got to check. You got to do your due diligence. This is a rookie move. This is along the lines of when I was younger, we had it's before we had laptops before I was old enough to have my own computer.




We had the family computer sitting in the kitchen. And it was my main line to all of the wonders that a middle schooler could ever want to look up. But it was open spaces in the kitchen. There was my brother was sleeping in the room just right down the hall. My mom was a little further down the hall in her room.




And I was like, I have Joan's in for a wank. And so I improvised. I took a comforter. I put it over the monitor, I put it over me.




And I did my business. That was the closest that I got. Thankfully, nothing like this has ever happened to me. Hopefully nothing like this has ever happened to you, because that's a terrible thing. That's just it's especially if, like, these buddies know, oh, he went to the restroom not to piss her shit. But to just rub one off.




It's like, I understand when nature calls, nature calls. And if you have any sort of ability as men will go to great lengths to get a spanking so yeah, it's tough. Make sure your airplane is off. All I can say with that one, the next clip we got here, this is a bag of yellow liquid, and now it's an empty bag that had yellow liquid in it.




It looks like those are to the brim, full catheter bags like full gallon of piss. This is the second week now that we featured some sort of piss related content. But what I don't get is that they're outside of a gas station they're going over to the trash to throw this away. Wouldn't it be more convenient for all parties involved to keep the piss in the bag and just throw it away instead of slapping it literally right by the front door?




It's either gas station or a I don't know. Don't know what that is as far as that establishment. But right by the front door, the first parking spot to go in, you pull up your car, you get out and it smells like piss. And this car is driving off. You have you none the wiser, have no idea what happened.




If yeah, there's a lot of pissed too. That looks like the the truck that she's sure he they that they're coming out of it's pretty dirty that might be an entire weekend on the road that's like we're only stopping for gas and only gas pee in your bag. And when we finally get close enough to our destination then you can violently slap it on the ground for it to explode I don't know if it's pass.




I just I'd like to assume that it is. I would have got to hear the next clip it's a big shark. That's a really big shark. And that's a dumb guy. That's a really dumb guy. Oh, my goodness. Here, let me run it back with audio on cue. Oh, boy. Oh, my God. Oh, four. Oh, you got to do oh, my God.




I was sick all these years. You slept. Knocked off for that shark is like feet how did they not die?




Holy shit. I don't know why this is the danger of the social media age. Like, oh, beforehand be like that's a cool shark that sharks actually fucking huge it shark is almost bigger than this boat only. Roll up your disposable camera be cool. We'll get it developed in two weeks and I'll tell the story. No, no. We all have phones.




We all want to be seen. Dude, what if you jump in and try to get the shark? Cool. Good idea. You get a lot of views. I mean, hey, it worked. It's right here on this paper. In our next clip, Mike for a woops. Looks like a drop in. I hope a Q oh gamer girl doesn't come back and pegged me I say I hope a cute gamer girl doesn't come behind me and peg me.




Got I hope a cute all gamer girl came up and pegged him. We're highlighting and celebrating a lot of kinks this week. We have farts in jars we have gamer girl pegging and we have what was the abbreviation A, A, B, ABR, a double breastfeeding relationships it's a human race. We're all special in our own ways. Good for him.




I hope he gets his pegging and do, um, spins. Speaking of pegging, um, do you ever taken a look at a sheep's hindquarters? Because the whole thing of some groups going in and fucking a goat or lamb or sheep. This video kind of gives an argument of why they might have done that. Those are big fake like that.




That is some fucking cake. I had no idea Damn okay. What else we got here? Oh, speaking of cake, that a ham sandwich she's smothered in there. Roast beef, maybe Paul Giamatti, his favorite deli meat. So if you're listening, this is a woman doing. I even know what the Jim move is. She's got a bell. She's bending over, and there seems to be something pressing out near her hind quarters.




Looks like some beefy meat curtains. And the thing that really makes this video, two things. One is the pants that she's wearing are kind of like a soft salmon. And so it almost looks like it's skin, so it makes it pop out that much more. And the second part is the fact that this Paul Giamatti looking motherfucker is given some commentary that a ham sandwich she's smuggling in there, a roast beef, maybe the little like side eyebrow twitch nice.




All right. Next clip. Um, this is pretty sexual this week. Honest. Very sexual. This one is a I don't know whether this is a wedding or a bachelor party or something. There's this mascot here with mascot titties. Big, huge mascot titties. Uh, let's see what the audience is And bounce and mascot titties. And a child struck with the wonders of the female form.




Or whatever he was doing on that phone. He's not doing it anymore.




Jaw dropped. Just at his oh. He has taken oh. I'm just getting the mascot motorboat. And the end of that if I had a kid, probably not a place that I would take him, but at some point, they're going to learn. And this kid learn real young All right, next, we have one of the best commercial songs I've ever heard if it gets stuck in your head.




You're welcome. This is a commercial for a divorce lawyer in the Seattle area. And I have only seen it in the wild, not on television, but at a movie theater before the trailers start to roll. They do local ads of local businesses. And this is one of them. It's my Gallagher. And he specializes in divorces. And the song, honestly, kind of makes me want to get a divorce just so I can call Mike Gallagher.




Let's listen you belong to society because you how? Get out of it by Mike Gallagher gone like if you want my city right where windows five ten you got on a guy by Scarlet Guy is a new one. And Tom Gallagher he nailed the URL, too. Dontbeaweekendparent.com. I'm going to go off the script just for a second.




I'm going to see if this URL still exists. There it is. J Michael Gallagher, divorce attorney. You're gonna want to call my daughter You imagine you're just completely disgruntled with your spouse, and you have to get to the point that you do have to get a divorce. And you have children need to figure out what's going to happen with them.




You say they're my kids, and they say they're my kids, so I can't go to court. Fuck it. We're going to make this one ugly. And you show up to court, you have your lawyer, you're feeling confident, you got a good job. Your kids like you better than your spouse. And you're like, I got this. Then your spouse soon to be ex spouse walks in with fucking J.




Michael Gallagher. You look over and you're like, oh, fuck, I'm going to be a weekend parent, aren't I? Well, you should have called Mike Gallagher. Like I said, I hope this one gets stuck in your head because it's it's a jingle. And especially if you want to get divorced in the Seattle area, you're gonna want to call my Gallagher the last clip this week in the Scrub My clip segment is the mostest.




This next clip is so moist This is another kink, a recurring theme on This Week, if you hadn't guessed it this is a true beanbag, a true punching beanbag. Let's take a look at that.




Now that oh, if you're watching, you know what's going on. If you're listening, play it one more time. I just want you to use your mind's eye. Try to imagine what what's going on in this video. And then I'll tell you that that that one more time is your imagination. And if you're watching, just just enjoy it. These sounds are fantastic.




That they're okay. I won't hold the suspense any longer. It's a man making those grunts with his legs up. I'm not flexible enough. I can't do it, you know, on camera. But his legs are up, and a woman is sitting on his chest with her legs on top of the back of his his thighs of his hamstrings, says legs are up in the air and she's her back is to his face.




And directly at the center of that woman right below on the guy is his beanbag and she has boxing gloves on it. His just the right round punching the absolute shit out of his sack. And there's a guy closer in the foreground on the side with a camera just trying to get this has to be an adult movie.




It has to be. But on side with a camera trying to get the perfect shot of the balls just being crushed and punched and destroyed kinks. They span far and wide and that if I haven't tried to sell it enough parade plus swayunlimited.com signing up for that it's a monthly subscription honestly $6.90. just to watch this I think it's worth it or again you don't have to pay any money go this swayunlimited.com click on the show links this video will be here and you'll be able to watch it and you'll be able to cringe or if you're into it you'll be able to dig a little bit deeper and find




out where you can have this done and it looks like it's at like a dojo yeah. Well, with that being said, the only thing we have left to do this week is the end of the line bite too. I take a random sound bite from the depths of my soundboard that I have here and I play it and out the show me.




Cue this up here swayunlimited.com I've said about times already, follow me if you feel so inclined to check under score, sway Twitter, Instagram, Tik Tok and in the Sway Parade Pod Sway Prayer Discord, you can find those links in the links in the bios on all the social pages as a link to their. It shows you where everything is going join.




Oh, I forgot to mention this at the top of the show. If you've made it this far it's very valuable information. There is going to be a giveaway for the first people. First people that join the discord and the email list, which you'll get some newsletters. It's not going to be spamming. I promise you. Four people are going to be put in the running for a $50 visa gift card.




So go nude that do that. That's all you have to do. You do the math. You get $50 in a visa gift card. You could buy still. Let me do the math for you. $50 divided by 12.. That's seven months and some change of premium content on swayunlimited.com. So check it out. I'll play the soundbite.




I'm going to get out of here and I will see you next week. I'm not a racist. People would think that I'm racist. I'm not racist. I'm a believer in Jesus Christ. Bye