Here's all the links that we discussed on this week's episode:
Scrub My Clip
Hold the line
Mike Tyson on wheels
An elevator tale
This here truck be backwards
MOIST CLIP: Skin and bones
The Deep Shot
Thunder Thigh Josh Allen
A little queasy
Josh Allen old tweets resurfaced
As well as his driver’s license
No fat chicks for Conor McGregor
COUNTRY STRONG: Bull Strong
Lil Bit'a News
SCOTUS Overturns Roe v Wade
US Marines honor Pride Month with rainbow bullets
Postmates releases 'bottom menu' for Pride
In a pinch, you might be able to breathe through your butt
Police Called After Woman Takes Too Long In Toilet
Florida man who called cops to check quality of meth could get case dropped
11 people and monkey in ‘bulletproof’ vest killed in Mexican cartel shootout
WILD NEWS: Thousands Of "Penis Fish" Washed Up On A Californian Beach
I don't I don't have the means to take care of a child.
I don't want to.
Just, like, put it up for auction or whatever they do to adopt them. It's this.
Sway parade with shark sway.
Welcome into the Sway Parade. My name is Chuck Sway.
And this is the.
Parade. Happy summer, everyone. A busted up a tank top this week. So you get to see my hairy shoulders.
If you're new to the show.
Well, you get to see my shoulders for the first time.
But what is this show about? Well, we scrub clips from around the Web.
We head up deep shot sports. We've got that coach, a strong segment, which is my personal favorite. And we have news. Crazy, weird, wild news. Well, we also have is an homage to the almighty algorithm, because this show is still in its infancy. And I have to do whatever I can do to up that ranking. So what can you do to help?
Well, let me tell you. Share it. Like it. Leave a review on the platform that you're listening on. If you're watching on YouTube, be sure to, like, subscribe. Hit that bell notification and we'll keep ranking on our butts.
The almighty algorithm is who.
We have to back into, and that's what we do every week. It's this week is just the same. So please, at this moment by your heads and we will pray.
Almighty algorithm, o almighty.
It is the Sway Parade at your doorstep once again looking for blessings.
And all the other good stuff because we serve you. We offer you premium content for your pleasure and sorting and all that. We ask Almighty Algorithm is that you rank us just a little bit higher on those search results. You tinker with the echo, you do everything that you can to show that.
All for you. Oh, almighty algorithm. Amen. Already before getting in the show, me turn my phone off. That was almost very rude to the almighty algorithm. Thank. Thank the Almighty algorithm that that was at the tail end of it. Before we get into the show, I just want to remind everyone there's a hotline number you can call. It's the parade hotline, 818275.
Sway or telephone right there behind me. Call that number. Leave a message of how whatever you see fit, whatever you want to say, it doesn't get screened until it gets recorded each episode. So leave a little surprise. Tell a little story. Just call that number and then save it. Speed dial if you still got a flip phone, if not, just put in your contacts.
Okay. I think I'm going to call up the parade. All right. Let's get.
To the clips.
And scrub my clip. Clip.
All right. Let's check out what we have on deck for these clips. This first one was submitted by Caleb. Now, if you have stuff out there that you find, you think, hey, I want to see that on the show. Send it my way. Social media Instagram at Chuck Underscore Sway. Tik Tok as well. Same handle or go to sway unlimited dot com.
Well, let's check this out now, Poppy. That is the definition of holding the line. And that line seems to be out of subway, some sort of sandwich shop. And the the worker behind the counter is dying on the hill of protecting their employers best interests. And I think it's a she she has a garbage can and it's just bonk.
Bonk, bonk, bonk.
As you can hear on this clip, I don't know this customer, what they're trying to take. There's no back story as to what led up to this. But sometimes you just have to protect what you love most. And this woman, what she loves most is her job as being a sandwich artist. And she will do anything that she can to protect that customer, tries to clap back, throw the cookie shelf or whatever that was.
I just copy.
You, stupid. Let's see her. We know we're not running out of time yet. I'm trying not to swear the first 10 minutes, which thankfully there was.
Some censoring on this clip.
So this is just shows, you know, passion, passion at its rawest form. Hold the line next clip with oh.
I hope I'm not. Oh, oh, oh.
So we're listening to Sounds like a dog barking, right? It can't be that eventful, can it? Oh, no. Oh, contraire, it can. This pooch, this is a Sharpay is barking, as you heard.
But the other thing.
That's going on in this clip, right, the sound the vocal cords of this dog are going through its mouth, doing its bark, but the dog is facing away from the person that took this video and what is most visually present is this dog's meal, its pooper, and that.
Noose is actually doing a little bark.
But every time a bark comes through.
Whoa, that b whole is puckering. So, you know, I mean, this this puppy this dog looks like a puppy a little younger. So just giving it, it's all in the bark through its whole body channeling to make sure whatever is on the other side of that fence knows that, hey, I'm here and I'm going to protect this. I mean, similar to the last clip, I'm going to die on this hill.
And then behind this is I wonder if this is, you know, in the animal kingdom, a dog's signaling of like, hey, stand behind me and my flexing pooper. And that's a signal when you see that puckering, you know, I'm giving the bark my all. And so when you see my butthole pucker, that means you're protected. I will stand between anything that gets in the way and comes into this yard, and I'll make sure it won't get past me.
I mean, that is some extension on the B hole. It it's I mean, it looks like it's a piece of gum just being stretched out or taffy rather.
I'm I'm not. I mean, this little bill is.
Barking almost as much as the front end.
Of. Oh, wow. Next clip, working wheels.
Call me Mike Tyson. I just heard works already.
Is this also out of Subway? Are these hidden themes here in this week? Whatever the case may be, wherever this is, this gentleman which at the very beginning of the clip, you can hear his nickname Wheels. So what happened? Wheels? This guy is, you know, bound to a wheelchair for reasons unknown.
But you get a.
Little hint as to why he might be in the wheelchair, even though they're not directly related because he doesn't have anything below his forearm, he doesn't have hands, and he's being passed a little.
Tobacco stick, I'd say Jewel, but I know they're outlawed. I saw that story. It's not cover this week. Don't worry. So he's handed it, and then I'll just let it play again. Call me Mike Tyson. They call me Mike Tyson. Word that I will never say, nor have I ever said outside of my car, listening to music that has that word when I'm just the only one in the car, I think that's acceptable.
If not, let me know. I'll stop even doing that when I'm singing along. But he's, you know, call me Mike Tyson.
And he starts throwing jabs. Yeah, yeah. But you know, like I said, with without hands pretty much for I'm just giving it. And he didn't have a shirt on either, which is not a problem that I run into really ever. You know, the no no shoes, no shirt, no service type of thing. This guy waltzed right in here, no shirt on, wheels waltzed.
He rolled in, making it accurate. And I don't think anyone said anything because the homies that he's with, they have food. He's got food on the corner. They got drinks. And he's you know, they're just at the at the restaurant, just kind of playing around. But no shirt on bound, no wheelchair, no hands, but still trying to make someone catch a fade.
Welcome to my abode, everybody. Welcome. Oh, just a little speech, if.
You guys don't mind.
This one is a little bit longer. I am going to let it run, but I'm just going to set the scene really quick. This is in an elevator and wherever it may be and people are funneling in. It's a good size elevator. It's not your standard, you know, apartment or small building elevator like this. Is this is a large area, perhaps a a transit station, a train.
Say something like that. It's a large elevator. And the person behind the camera is the first one. And everyone's piling. And I'm just going to let it run. And just for a second, imagine you just getting into this elevator. And if you're listening, you know, just imagine you're looking down at your phone and you're just you have your eyes down so you can't see what's happening.
But just listen to to what goes on in this elevator.
It's going to come it's going to get significant because.
This and I don't suppose you guys have heard a story about a man called Microsoft here. Let me go ahead then. Mike Kozlowski, a little creature who would perch beneath a tree. I would greet him on a day off. Mike, how are you? Mike would respond with one sound.
Maybe I'm going to be like I do. Admittedly, I'm.
Mike. Why would you do that to my mother? What is wrong with you? You don't just slap ribs like that without consent. Yeah, I got up. Thank you all for listening. You have been educated by the Don.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you for listening even though you had no choice. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks, lads. Thank you. Have a great day.
I was shocked.
So there's that elevator ride is a short one too. Maybe a42 and they all were stuck to hear that story of Mike Wazowski and not.
A lot of fun characters out there in the world. There's a guy this is on Instagram, which is a perfect point to let you know all the links to all this stuff will be on the show. Notes at Sway Unlimited dot com so you can check it out on YouTube. It is partially blurred because I just don't want to get flagged for copyright issues.
I don't have a lawyer yet. So, you know, I just want to, you know, do what I can protect the channel. But if I could scroll and if you go and watch this, there's a tall chap, one of the taller ones in the elevator that is standing there, you know, face away from the guy taking the video. But then he like like death side glares.
Like, what the.
Fuck is going on right now? Get me off this elevator and say, no, you are trapped.
So given the.
The accent, this sounds like it's overseas, maybe in the UK, in Great Britain. But I'm curious to find out if this guy has told more more tales in more elevators around the area, because I think this is this is grand. What better way to entertain people than when they don't have a choice? And the elevator is the the best place to do that?
I might start doing that, you know, find elevators and then just take this show, start playing at my Burberry. It's a slavery in the like what's going on. I just have to have a condense version of it and okay. Thank you again. Subscribe only a limited archive. Please listen to me.
Oh, did we lose it? There's more to it play. Oh, it's not loading. At least we got to the part that I wanted to share. This guy is in his home home gym. He's doing push ups.
£45 plates on his back. Let me do a quick refresh, see if we can get the aftermath of it. But he's doing push ups and they're not straight up and down because part of the one side of his shoulder dips and those plates slide off. And with his hands down on the ground, it lands like straight on his finger.
His little finger is okay. Vissel, we have the full clip now that comes up. Oh, he doesn't even dip. He just kind of loses his balance, crushes his finger, painful.
And he's like, oh, that hurt. Yeah, yeah, that really hurt. Okay, that's broken.
And then he shows you his shattered ring finger. He's like, okay, it's. It's broken. Look at it. And yeah, that looks to be an indent in that digit that was not there before. Finger He's like a broken finger I guess that I'll go to the hospital. Okay. Video over next clip.
Oh, oh, oh.
This goes back a few episodes ago. There's a small percentage of Americans that think that they can fight a grizzly Bear Grylls. The Grizzly Bear, one on one. I'm flustered, even at the thought of it. It's moronic. Wolf, another story. My grizzly bears, I think the number was 6% or so of of Americans surveyed thought, yeah, I can take on a grizzly bear easy, you know, unarmed, hand-to-hand combat.
Yeah, well, this clip pretty much shows that if you think that you are a fucking moron because these are two grizzly bears going at it. Oh, standing straight up.
Going gung ho.
Oh, trying to, you know, get the upper hand, you know, territorial, probably standing straight up. I mean, these things are like nine, ten feet tall. So you just take a put a man right where this cursor is. This is where your average man is. You don't have a shot. Let's see how these bears settle their differences or.
Oh, you know, a little shove and.
And all the while, I mean, they look like they're about to bear French kids.
But that's not a signal of affection. That is a signal for fuck you.
Oh, fuck. Yeah. Oh, oh. And ring.
The bell rings at some point here.
Oh and they're locked in. Oh there's some biting. That's a powerful jaw back end of the one bear. Oh. And taking it down to the ground. Oh that I mean that quick bear on bear though the whole fight was over release for the video sake in 10 seconds. What's a bear, though? The one that I think was the victor locked on.
And then they bear hugged him, locked on, backed him up. I mean, those jaws are unforgivable. Imagine if that was a human. That video would have been I'd say it's 40 seconds long. That video would have been 38 seconds shorter.
You can't fight a bear. You can't fight a wolf, though. Again, there's a hill that I will die on. Next clip.
This guy's driving backwards in that car. No, I struck him.
That's why his name stuck it out. I grew up. Oh, my gosh. I ain't that cool.
So this is why it's made. This is a truck. An older truck, probably from the forties, by the looks of it, except it has one very distinct characteristic. It's backwards. So the what would be the front of the truck is now the tail, then the bed is now the front and the guy driving it, it looks like he's sitting backwards in the truck.
But then when he goes forward, it looks like he's going in reverse. But he's he's turned around backwards. Like he's like this. Like if I did the show like this, that's how he's driving. And the commentary on Here is Golden.
This guy's driving back and this guy's driving backwards, no truck.
And he had a truck.
Sticking to him. Check it out. That's the way it's made. Oh, that's why you should maybe take a look at that. Oh, my goodness. Check it out. Check it out.
That's almost country strong. Like, in a sense. Okay, let's run of this segment with a moist clip.
This next clip.
Is so moist.
And I should warn you, on the YouTube feed, this is going to be blurred a little bit more because it's oh, it's disturbing for your ears if you're listening, don't worry. The actual audio of the video isn't going to do anything to you. But when I explain what this is, you might, you know, scowl a little bit because it's it's gnarly.
Let's take a look.
You know, that that my family's way did it to.
Make it very fresh here. This scene to be shown in all of the HD.
You know, we had to.
Know it's going to blur itself because it's that fucking disturbing.
That ham lumpy alien. Why Bobo.
So right audio of itself and the self blur the video player to do it doesn't sound you know too bad at all pretty harmless but when you actually watch it go to the beginning of the clip.
There's a so obviously hurt by the language also given the setting looks to be somewhere in Asia. Forgive me for not being familiar with the language of their speaking or the because their looks to be I mean, I only want to call it a Buddha. There's some sort of shrine behind the subject in this video. I don't know where it is.
I'm sorry. I'm a dumb white American. But anyways, it's beside the point. There's a person in a hospital bed. It's got the rails on the side and it's got, you know, it's it's upright. So it's, you know, the.
Sitting position but still laying down the hospital. I don't know if that makes sense. But anyways, there's a little girl on the side of the bed and the person in the bed is, you know, just probably family this point and beating around the bush. I'm just going to get to the point. The person in the bed is.
Skin and bones. Like the fact that this person is still alive is my mind boggling because the cheeks are sunken in like.
The the skin.
Is now forming into the bone in a sort of mummification. But they're still alive. They're kind of making noises. They're moving. I mean, there's there is no more.
On the bones, which makes me wonder, the big question is, if there's no more meat on the bones, how is there still gas in the tank.
To still be kicking?
I mean, you can see they're moving their hand, this little girl, probably granddaughter. Great, great, great, great, great granddaughter. Most likely.
I mean, this is ancient. This looks out of a movie. We blow it up. I mean, there is no there's no cheeks. They're gone. The arms are just little flaky.
Piece of jerky.
Like that's what it looks like. And there's no.
From what it looks like on the video, there's no equipment. And the EKGs, whatever they're called, to keep this thing alive.
This just an old.
Dead body that's still animated. That's I mean, it doesn't even look like it's like they're enjoying their time with their FA descendants that they should have never met. But they stuck around for 230 years. So I know this subsegment is called the moist this clip, but there's no there's no moisture in this clip. I mean, this is I have never seen this in my life.
This episode of The Sway Parade is brought to you by support from Parade Plus members shout out to AJ, Joe, Michael Davis, Reverend Tanner, Mills, Quinn and Tyler. If you won't help support the show, aside from listening and watching of course head on the swine ltd dot com slash pricing. Select a plan that fits your budget starting as low as $6.90 a month and going all the way out to $0.69 a month for 69 years.
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You spend goes through that portal, goes to directly benefit the show. Like what I'm thinking today is maybe installing some sort of air conditioning unit in here because as this show goes on, I'm just getting sweatier and sweatier. So things like that, I'm never going to pocket it. It's going to be right back into the show. So again, if you're interested in supporting monetarily sway, unlimited dot.com slash pricing, go to the store.
Look at that big old belly shop. You get the rough, dirty shot.
All right, sports segment here on the Sway Parade. It's called The Deep Shot. As you can see or as you've probably seen or as you know, there is a ridiculous infatuation with the Buffalo Bills quarterback Josh Allen. See here, there's a sign and helmet. There's the photo on my left stage right. I think that's how that works.
And what we.
Had last week, I mentioned it briefly, was his thunder thighs. I didn't pull a photo up, but I have it now. And this was the screenshot I was talking about. Josh Allen appeared on the bus and with the boys podcast with Will Compton. It's usually Taylor Lewan, the offensive lineman for the Tennessee Titans, but the fill in co-host on this episode, I For the Life of Me could not remember his name.
I was like, It's.
Greg. It's George Kittle. Tight end of the 40 Niners or is it Greg Kittle? I get the names mixed up. I'm pretty sure it's George Kittle. So the three of them, we're on a podcast. I listened to it this past week. GM Josh Owens talks about what a good guy he is pretty much not leaving college a year earlier because he felt like he owed some more work to his coach that recruited him and then, you know, went to be a first round pick.
It's a good lesson if you want to check it out in this in the episode, if you've listened to it or you're going to listen to it, just know that Josh Allen is not present the entire time. And when I listen to it, I was in my car, so I didn't really see, you know, why. You know, all of a sudden he's like, All right, boys, I'm out of here.
See you later. And when I went home and pulled up the video just to see, you know, maybe, you know, why could it have been that Josh was, you know, it seemed like he was having a good time. Let me go back to the picture for a second, too. You can see on the table they have big ole bottles.
Excuse me, of Pedialyte, which, you know, might have been a sponsor or whatever. You look at that firsthand or whatever. But here's this clip. And this gives some context as to what might have been going on before this podcast.
I stole your Gameboy dude Nintendo, but I felt that that changed a lot of lives. Oh, it did. It did. And those games are in front of my parents. I'm like, Oh, yes, no. Where are you doing all right. Yeah, we're doing great. Doing great. You know, Josh, it's Josh's first day, his first time in that first day ever in Nashville.
So I think there might have been a heavy flow of alcohol the night before. Josh wasn't looking too good, but, you know, I'll give him credit. He's stuck through it as long as he could on the show. This was the first time he had stepped out, and one would assume he stepped out and just by.
He got back on and then he wasn't talking much. And that's actually one thing that I was kind of questioning. I was listening to it. I was like, Oh, this conversation is, you know, back and forth between the three of them. And I was like, Oh.
I feel like Josh, I wasn't.
Talking that much going back and watching this, and I'm going to scrub this back just a little bit, turn the audio off. If you're watching here, we see Josh on the left and he's just listening and then he just kind of looks down, is pulls the mic away and just kind of when it's a boy or is a signal, it's like I'm a stepper as just the golden child that he is as polite as he can be, like, I'm, I'm going to step out.
I need to throw up real bad. One thing that they did talk about is some old tweets that had come up pretty much on draft day for the the cancel committee, you know, just came across that agenda. It usually happens in the draft. It comes about and they're like, hey, you tweeted some some shit, you know, seven years ago.
Do you want to explain yourself now today as a young man, when you were just a boy, when you tweeted that? And so some of them I pulled them up because I was curious. I don't remember hearing about Josh Allen tweets and it was mentioned briefly on this bus and with the boys podcast. And it just kind of was like, hey, you know, it was stupid.
I should have I should have scrubbed it before I got drafted. But, you know, it didn't. I just want to read a few of them. And this is in the context this is from 2012, their collection forgive me, this is a date range of between 2011 and 2013. So if we do the math there, I believe he's a year younger than me.
So he was 16 or so between 16 and 17 when these were tweeted out. Um, let's just read some of them here. Do you ever have wet dreams of this fat cock retweet if you cried? Every time I cry every time. This seems like a classic. You're in high school in the early 20 tens, someone gets a hold of your phone and hashtag hacks.
They just tweet somehow. I had it happen on, I think, Facebook. It just said I'm gay and it's happened to a lot of people. That's what that seems like. That tweet. Well, there's there's a few more. This is a reply to a user. I don't care what anyone says, I'm going to grow my penis. Well, I think it's blossomed into a big old dong, or at least in the sense of being the best quarterback in the NFL right now.
The other tweet, no bitches. That's all that was cool. Probably just hanging out with his buddies. So another reply to a user dick in my mouth is the best way to make my day. Hashtag just saying, hashtag hint. Whoa again, probably just a hack, you know. And then another one here that this probably was the most fire on draft day when it came out.
This is a reply as well. I don't think you had a word that shouldn't be uttered by such a complexion and a man of such complexion want a troubled son? Um, yeah. That one's kind of unforgivable. You don't. Don't go dropping. Don't go dropping that word.
Um, at any point, even.
In 2012, when you thought this isn't going to catch up with me is what it does. Um, this one is also pretty bad for 2022, but in 2013, on Christmas Eve, a little bit more forgivable punches being, boy, this is another word that.
Know, one should really say. It's it's it's a bad word. It's very derogatory. One may know it, as you know, a bundle of sticks. Um, but it's not used in, in this term. So punch punches being boy in the throat another one haha stanky asshole ho or skanky sorry not even stanky skanky skanky asshole. Here's another one Why are you so white?
If it ain't white, it ain't right There's another one 2022 can't go out saying that that's not cool. And then the last one just to throw in there, like, look what he said. It was so terrible. He goes, I hate LeBron. Hashtag LeBron sucks. Yeah. In 2011 when he was in Miami, who didn't hate LeBron. So it's obviously didn't damage his reputation none really at all.
Which old tweets that are ten, ten plus years old, forgive and forget for the most part I don't know about the the two words that you shouldn't say having those there but still he's he got paid no one. I didn't even know about this. So not that big a deal, but still fun to see. I would I'd implore you to go to my Twitter and see what you can dig up.
I don't think I'm pretty sure I know for a fact, actually, 100%. I know for a fact there are not of you know, those two words on my Twitter way back when just a lot of, you know, hashtag swag. That's what it was all about. Also, in the wake of Josh Allen going on this podcast and kind of being in the the forefront of that news cycle for a few minutes, Buffalo RF with the shotgun that was done a few months back, posted this this got unearthed.
This is Josh Allen's driver's license. The caption of this Josh's old roommate from college posted this on Bills Mafia Facebook group. This looks like 16 year old Josh just getting his driver's license and the kind of crazy, you know, 16 year old right there blossomed in to be just a tree of a man just slinging footballs. I know that was kind of fun.
What else do we have here.
Of our favorites. From The Deep Shot was a full blown podcast was Connor McGregor. And one rule that we had on that show when it was a full show was we just didn't want to to curse. We wanted to keep it to a minimum, keep it family friendly, but there's always loopholes when it comes to language, especially the English language.
And this is a break for a sweat wipe. Oh, toast. Whoa, Steve, there's always loopholes in the English language. And so while we couldn't say fuck and shit and, you know, all the other profound words or profane, one of those two we stumbled upon a clip of Conor McGregor, and with his Irish accent.
He doesn't say fuck, he says fuck.
So we thought, Hey, you know, we're going to have to swear, we're going to say, fuck you fucking idiot, fuck to Mayweather's so Conor McGregor near and dear to the deep shot heart at its core he surfaced recently. Let's see what Connor has to say.
If you want to come. Yes, I invited. Of course you're invited. Yeah. No, no, fuck takes it. Don't bring Mrs. Helwani. Well, now, you may have crossed the line, my friend. I will beat you down. I'll beat you where you stand if you want to come. Yes, I invited.
I don't think that's. That's a person that you want to tell them. I'll beat you where you stand. It's Conor fucking McGregor. Okay.
But, but you know.
Conor doesn't miss a beat with. He's not bashful if you know anything about Conor McGregor. So he's like, Oh yeah, you can come. No fat chick. So leave the missus at home, you fucking idiot. Next here.
On the diddly.
Diddly deep shot. This clip was submitted by listener Taylor. I believe.
Know, speaking back into the history of the deep shot. This was featured long ago, but I am more than happy to run it back again. Taking a look here. Well, these are it's basketball, but it's a different take on basketball because everyone playing the game is in leotards and it's really just wrestlers who were playing with the ball and different rules in this game, I would think, because as we let it loop, there's no there's kind of dribbling.
You get about 20 steps per dribble as opposed to two. But this guy here at the very side of the frame coming around these taking, you know, he's at 18 stepsisters within the rules get to go up for a layup and just gets checked in mid air this razzle ball this was this was close very close to country strong and I believe when it was on the deep shot way back when it was a country strong clip but there's something a little more country strong.
Take a look at that.
Coach don't play.
Colorado has the same as every week we get here country strong. Take a look at a clip that is just defies what you would think is possible for the larger beings in our planet. Mostly it's people seeing what they could do. We had that gentleman, David board. He was massive and still Elgin as ever. We've had a large country, strong man at a skatepark on roller blades.
It just does a backflip without a shirt on. And then a little more recently, we had bison that were fighting it out there in Yellowstone. So it really transcends not just people, it's also animals. And this week is coach strong animal. There's also a little sprinkle of people. But just keep in mind that B-Boy country strong in this video taking a look here these balls Oh my goodness that came on way too fast.
I got to I got to set this up. This is bowls. It's some sort of running of the bulls.
And one bowl.
Misses the other. Bull done pretty much all that I can say the country strong. Oh, my goodness. And then all the other bowls come through. I'm just going to keep running this back, first of all. And Mrs.. And could you.
Oh, so the first ball came in was like, I'm a pitcher. I don't know you personally, but I'm, I feel like I need to get you. And the man dodges jism and gets our way. But you got to have your head on a swivel when you're dealing with a conscious, strong situation. And that's what this man did not do.
I got to see it. For me, it is fast. These are real fast. Let it loop again. Let it go frame by frame. Can I can I slow this down? I can just change quality. So frame by frame, as quick as I can or slow as I can. Rather Pardon me. Apologies dodges the one here and as he's looking down at the one he just dodged, probably in his own hubris, like, yeah, I know Beau can get me to.
The scrub back here. I want to get the impact. Body starts to turn, hips are opening up like, Hey, I just dodged you. I don't want anything to do with you. I'm going to go this way. And that's what he started to do.
Oh, my goodness. Keep losing it.
It's so fast. It's good. You're strong.
I want to get that moment. Here's the moment. He's turned his body. He's just now moved his head and he ain't looking down now, you know? You reckon balls hands are about belly level and that is just there is a mode I just.
And then gets kind of double, double hit with the ball that missed for the first time. So that first ball came through. So I'm gonna get you, I'm a fuck you up. And then it's like, damn, I missed that turn. Sees its brother in his eye. Let's do this country star in the first one hits and the second one hits and they just topple this poor, poor man.
Some developments in the footage that I had not seen before. This was in a team effort to topple the man. These muscles are going strong at each other. The managers got in the way and he they seemed to be okay. A little rattled for sure, but he seems to be all right.
But the bowls, they're fighting each other. He just got in the way.
Or maybe I mean, this hit on the ball and it looks personal one more time.
He got to show. Well, yeah.
You know what they say. It's an old saying and it's a well-known saying. When you mess with the ball.
You the a whole.
All right. Let's move on to the news.
What's the big deal, fellas? Just a little bad news.
So the big story this week, which we've known for a while, it leaked a few weeks ago, a few months ago, sometime in the past, the Supreme Court of the United States has overturned the 50 year standing Supreme Court ruling that abortion is a right for all. They have reversed it. It goes back to the states. They get to.
Whether for abortions allowed or not. This really isn't a political podcast. Even then in the news segment, it doesn't get very political, but it's something to take note of. And if you're coming here to get a take on Roe v Wade for me on the parade and this is your first point of contact, you see the news break on Twitter or wherever, and you're like, oh, I wonder what this way parade is going to talk about.
You're in the wrong place. Take those thoughts, go back and find some reputable articles and some people that are actually, you know, in the shed of it.
White, male with a penis. I don't this this doesn't directly affect me. But that's not to say.
Still doesn't affect me. I have a wife. She's a woman. And there's one thing that we agree on most of all is we're not going to have fucking kids now we do what we can to be safe. Usually we just, you know, line up back to back and look opposite directions and then do it that way. So there's no no case, no chance.
And thankfully, we're in a state where it's abortion's going to stay legal. But there millions of people in the country now that are going to have to familiarize themselves with coat hangers because they can't go to a safe place to do it. And this is really kind of a mega wild ruling in today's day and age. You think, okay, you know, we're about progress and moving forward.
We're moving back. And what I can say or what I can pontificate on and think as to what might be the logical thing in reversing this. If I'm just going to put my head in as I'm a Supreme Court justice that wants to overturn Roe v Wade is one and this is me thinking is as one of those Supreme Court justices, one I hate women.
And you know what? If we look back, look at all of the shitty things that have happened since we gave women rights, like when they were allowed to vote. Like it's just how we've had, you know.
Nuclear bombs going off.
You know, we've had wars, we had a pandemic, all because women had rights. So how do we get back to.
The way it.
Was? How do we get back to getting home, having your dinner ready because your wife's not allowed to leave the house?
How do we get back to that?
Well, let's just strip their rights and say fuck them. Literally, half the population, fuck them. It's abortion. It can be a touchy subject, right? It's not a fun thing if someone has to go through and get an abortion, that's not just like a shit. Okay, well, just turn on the vacuum or whatever the fuck you use for it.
I don't. I don't want this now. It's a tough decision. And just on your body too.
But you still.
Should be able to do it. I mean, think of all of the shitty people you have ever come across in your life. Now think about how much better your life may be if all those shitty people were aborted and never existed. That's what is now taken away. We're going to get we'll get great people. Sure. That aren't planned and they have to come to term.
And now they exist in the world. They'll be good people, but they'll also be shitty people. And why flip that coin when you can't make it happen like if my wife were to get pregnant, if Mrs. Zwei were to be come impregnated with spawn of sway, I don't I don't have the means to take care of a child.
I don't want to.
Just, like, put it up for auction or whatever they do to adopt them.
So, like, why can't me?
Why why can't Mrs. Sway my wife make that decision? But like.
I don't know this kid.
First look at his father. It's bad, bad set up there. But second off, I can't take care of it. I don't know. Like, what am I? I don't know what to do. So I'm going to. It's a tough decision, but I'm going to have to get it sucked out.
In a lot of states as this develops, you won't be able to do that or you will be able to do it, but you'll go on Craigslist, on some code word and go to someone's garage or basement and be like, all righty.
I did this long before.
You know, this was outlawed in reverse. It's like, Oh, can I see your credentials? Like, it's not a problem. So you bring the thousand dollars that I asked for this procedure.
I really can't have the kid. And then people are going to get hurt. People are going to die, and now, like the people that are living that are making the decision, fetus can't make a decision. It's not doesn't have a Social Security number yet. There's your argument, too. Where does life start? And I might ruffle some feathers here, but I think that life starts when you're assigned a Social Security number in America, at least in other places of the world.
You know, figure it out. It's subjective. But in America, if you ain't paying taxes or set up to pay taxes, fuck you. You're you're you're not a person in America's viewpoint. It's just what I'm thinking. So, I mean, it's it's pretty fucked. It's really fucked. I don't have a story for it. I just wanted to go off on a little tangent and just, you know, ignore college.
Hey, if you're pregnant with a kid and you don't fucking want it, you should be allowed to not have it, you know, return policies for all the stores now. Oh, I, I realize I don't want this product. I'm going to return it. And for the most part, I mean, Amazon largest retailer in the world will like, okay, yeah, we'll take your return.
Why can't you return a baby that isn't a baby yet that you.
Don't want or.
Whatever? Let's move on to the other stories with it being June. And this is the last Monday of June, right? When this comes out. Yeah, June is at the very end and so is pride month for this year. It's, you know, cyclical. We'll see July 1st, all the companies who change their logos to rainbows will go back to normal.
The the rainbow thing in the year is almost out or almost to the end of it. And there's a few stories that are very present for this pride Month. And the first one is the US Marines. They honor Pride Month with rainbow bullets, the US Marine Corps recognized the state of the start, apologies, the start of Pride Month by posting a picture of a combat helmet with rainbow colored bullets.
And let's take a look. There's the tweet right there. It's a camouflaged helmet, proud to serve. And it's got one bull that's red another that's orange, yellow, green.
And purple. And the tweet reads, Throughout June, United States Marine Corps takes hashtag pride in recognizing and honoring the contributions of our LGBTQ, which I learned recently. There's a few more onto that. I think it's LGBTQ. I a plus.
Keeps getting longer service members. We remain committed to fostering an environment free from discrimination and defend the values of treating all equally with dignity and respect. I mean, cool to say you support, right? You can. You can. The Don't Ask, don't tell no longer an issue in the military. And you can be a part of any of the letters here and serve your country.
But if you get pregnant, you can't do it. You got to keep the kid. The only issue is, is they had the rainbow colored bullets. Now, when I first saw this, I thought of like the mortar shells and the bombs that they dropped from planes and all those in World War Two that were addressed to Hitler or to Mussolini or other insert other World War Two Axis Power character.
I apologize. It was addressed to them because it was like, Hey, this bomb is going to blow up and hopefully it's, it's for you, our Hitler minefield.
So a little bit out of.
Taste for the Marine Corps to be like, well, we have rainbow colored bullets. It's like, are you saying that those are for the LGBTQ A-plus community? Probably not. But still bad luck because, you know, 70, 80 years ago you were right and Hitler on your bombs. And I don't think you liked Hitler too much. Next story. Also in reference to Pride Month, Postmates releases a bottom menu for Pride.
Pride campaigns are cranking up with sexual innuendo. Burger King, Austria, for example, released their Pride Whopper featuring burgers with either two top buns or two bottom buns. That's fun. Postmates is now taking it a step further with Eat with Pride, a bottom friendly menu. Postmates partnered with anal surgeon and sexual health and wellness expert Dr. Evan Goldstein to develop a menu for those who want to be penetrated during anal sex without the mess.
This is an advanced marketing campaign, but a practical one. It's not just changing your photo to or your logo to a rainbow. Want to be like Gay Pride Month? Are you going to buy some shirt or what? Oh, Postmates is like, yay, pride month. Hey, if you're thinking about getting fucked in the ass, check out the bottom menu.
If you're a top, it seems like you can eat whatever you want, says the ad narrator comedian Rob Anderson. But if you're a bottom, you're expected to starve this, right? If you eat anything, you're going to shit it out. No one wants a shit on their dick. Not this pride, says the ad. The ad goes on the list.
Some of the foods that a bottom should avoid in the day before. Sex. Whole grains. Cauliflower. Legumes. Anything that contains insoluble fiber. This means they can't dissolve in water and are harder to flush out. And I always think of the Zach and Mary make a porno movie. The Seth Rogen and the one lady, goddamn it really bad with names are always seems to be one week in and week out but there's an anal scene and on the pull out the guy was taking the camera and then the shit just falls all over his face in camera.
If that's a spoiler to you. The movie's old enough. Just. Yeah. I mean, still go watch. It's a great film. Dr. Goldstein recommends foods with soluble fiber and protein such as white rice, citrus and fish assist digest easily and slowly. The menu will offer bottom friendly dishes from restaurants in New York and Los Angeles. So they really only do this two cities, but still the most populated cities in America.
There's got to be a healthy amount of gays that want to get in the ass, especially in Pride Month. Check out the bottom friendly menu. But also this is anal. Sex is not just for the gay community, it's for anyone and everyone that wants to partake. So this is this is good information to know me. I don't give a shit because.
I don't want to be in the shit at any point ever. But let me read these again. If you're trying to get fucked in the ass, you want to eat soluble fiber and protein, white rice, citrus and fish. They're easy to digest and slowly, if you're trying to get fucked in the ass and you have recently eaten, where did it go?
Whole grains, cauliflower and legumes, things like that don't get fucked in the ass. Wait a little.
So happy pride month, everyone. You learn something.
Every every pride year. Every year the pride comes around like, you know, LGBTQ I a plus, whatever it is or whatever it's it has to be. If something gets added and I find out that that's what it is. I mean, again, going back to the Roe v Wade, the woman doesn't want to carry a child to term. They should have that choice.
If someone prefers sucking dick as opposed to eating pus, so choice then do whatever they want. So on to get.
Fucked in the ass and.
You're fucked in the ass at any point in time. But again, eat the right foods if you do so. Next story staying on the bottom side of things in a you might be able to breathe through your butts. Getting the oxygen needed for survival is achieved through various processes in the animal kingdom. Insects gather oxygen through holes in their bodies known as beer coals.
And some vertebrate vertebrate animals can breathe through their butts. Sort of this what is up to humans. So in the winters, turtles slow down their metabolism and get most of their oxygen through their cloaca. In a process known as local respiration, other reptiles and amphibians use similar respiration techniques to breathe without using lungs if you happen to be a mammal.
However, it's long believed that if your lungs are out of commission, then you are out of luck. At least until recently, we've long known that the intestines can take up chemical components and deliver them to the rest of your body. That's one of the ways that your gut microbiome communicates with your brain. It is, but it was unclear if the same or similar process could be able to get oxygen into your bloodstream.
And we all know where the intestines lead out to. It's your butthole. To test the hypothesis, scientists created a scenario in which pigs and mice in a laboratory were deprived of normal respiration and ventilated via the intestines to improve the likelihood of oxygen uptake. Some animals had their intestines scrubbed in order.
To thin the.
Mucosal lining its mucus and reduce the barrier to the bloodstream. Unsurprisingly, control animals who were deprived of respiration and received no intestinal ventilation died after about 11 minutes. Animals who received intestinal ventilation without the intestinal scrubbing survived almost twice as long, about 18 minutes indicating that there were some oxygen uptake. Lastly, 75% of those animals who had been scrubbed and received pressurized oxygen into their rectum, their butthole survived for hour the total length of the experiment.
So if you find a way to scrub your intestines, which, you know, going back to the bottom friendly menu, something that's going to just tear through there and clean everything out. And then you stick an air hostess in there in your bum. You could you maybe survive. Maybe it's still science. We're still at the pig and mice stage.
But it is possible. This seemed to prove that mice and pigs are capable of intestinal respiration under the right conditions, giving researchers reason to believe that other mammals, like humans, have the same capacity. Well, the effect has not yet been tested on humans. It's common. Scientists suggest it might serve as an effective alternative respiration technique when conventional methods like mechanical ventilation don't work.
So if you're in a pinch and you need some sort of ventilator, but that is not working holes in your lungs, whatever, and then they bring it to bat. They're like, well, just we've got to go through the AC.
I don't know if I want to consent to that. If I'm not breathing through my lungs and you got to put something on my butt. Mm mm. I don't know if I'd want that. I think, you know, that's just my time. It's also possible that introducing high levels of oxygen in the digestive tract will have a negative impact on the microbiome.
Most likely, but that's generally a secondary concern if you can't breathe. Further testing is needed to determine if intestinal ventilation may might be an effective life saving tool. And people again, I don't I don't think I would want to partake in that if they're like, oh, the respiration is not working, put it in this. But I mean, that would wake me up enough in that situation to rip it out and be like, Let me die.
Our next story here, police called after a woman takes too long in us. Take away toilet. I don't want to take away toilet is this is an international article but let's take a look. A woman found her privacy shattered when local police banged on the door of the toilet and forced her out of the cubicle for taking too long.
She had only given gone into the subway after the zip and her dress broke and she asked staff if she could use the restroom to have some privacy and to try and fix the problem. But she says that not only 5 minutes after this, police were forcing her out of the cubicle, leaving her body exposed to diners. However, a subway spokesperson responded by saying that employees had checked on the woman, but having received no response from her and concerned for her welfare, called the cops in for help.
5 minutes, though. That's a pretty short time to be in the bathroom. My average trip to the bathroom, Vietnam in public is at least 10 minutes. If it's in public, I'm actually you know what? I think this is making more sense because I try to go as quick as I can in a public restroom setting is don't want to be in there.
Just the thought that other people spend time in there pushing shit out of their butts. I just want to be gone. So maybe 5 minutes is a long time. When the cops twigged that she was exposed, they said again, this is overseas. I have no idea what twigged is. They said that she should be allowed back into the restrooms and then left.
The cops are like her tits are out like she's just trying to fix her zipper, let her back in. But after that, this woman says that the subway staff ordered her to get the fuck out. So even her zipper was not fixed and she still wasn't allowed to use the bathroom. Well, after it was found out, oh, she's just in the bathroom trying to fix the zipper.
They're like, No, fuck you. Get the fuck out. Next story, Florida man who called cops to check quality of meth could get case dropped. Now, this is a follow up from episode three. Quite while ago, but if you recall, there was a man that bought some meth and he didn't think it was legit, so he called cops and say, Hey, man, I don't think this is real.
Cops tested it. It was meth. He gets arrested, but this case might be dropped. And why, you might ask? Well, he really recently agreed to a pretrial intervention contract with prosecutors that could see all charges against him. Dismissed. The contract requires the man to perform 25 hours of community service, which really isn't that much for meth. I mean, meth is a hard drug, as we learned from how my mother would handle such a situation if I.
In her house and also pay $700 in court costs and fees. He also must refrain from consuming alcohol or illegal drugs. It's probably pretty hard to do if you're addicted to meth and submit to regular drug testing for 24 months. So pretty much two year probation just for trying, you know, get to the bottom of, you know, this meth might not be legit.
If he successfully completes the pretrial supervision, the case essentially disappears. So we just have to forget about it in two years. But if he violates any of those terms, then he faces a felony, which, you know, all power to this guy. But also, it doesn't sound like a very smart chap. These calling the cops be like, hey, test this fucking meth because I don't think it's meth.
Like, Okay, well, if you promise to be good for two years, we'll just make this whole thing go away, like. AA. Yeah, I'm just not going to buy the meth from the guy that I bought it from originally. I'm going to buy it from who I trust.
Oh, oh, no.
Next story, 11 people and Monkey in bulletproof vest killed in Mexico. Cartel shootout. Yeah. Yeah, you heard that, right? You thought that was wild news? No, not yet, but Here's this monkey.
This little innocent monkey that was.
Killed in a cartel shootout. It it has a little novelty bulletproof vest or there's a small plate in there to protect the monkey from bullets going into its vital organs, which ultimately rest in peace. Monkey. It didn't work. A spider monkey dressed to resemble a cartel mascot, complete with a hoodie, bulletproof vest and a diaper, was killed in a shootout in Mexico.
Poor monkey, go back over here again. No, just to show this was real spider monkey member of the cartel. According to the AP, 11 suspected gang members were also killed in the shootout. A photo of the deceased spider monkey with its gear was later released to the public and declared authentic by Mexican authorities. So, I mean, the people wanted to know like.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa. A cartel shootout, you know, whatever. We're kind of used to that at this point. But a monkey.
Did you say a monkey now, like. Yeah.
Scrolling through the notes of the report. Yeah, right here. Monkey in Spanish, whatever that word is.
Yeah. No, there definitely was a monkey that was killed in the shootout, and the people are like, Well.
You have to show us this.
Needs to be authenticated. If the cartel is now coming and picking up poor, innocent monkeys, which I mean, you never know. This monkey could have been a deck monkey could be running the whole operation.
All right. I will.
But it was authenticated. There's a real monkey. There's a real dead monkey. Now, an autopsy will be carried out on the animal by a veterinarian. Specialize in this species. I think if this monkey died in a shootout and it had bullet holes in it, think it's that easy to just go? Gunshot wound, fatal gunshot wound, case closed. But monkey rest in peace.
Sorry, had to get wrapped up with such trouble. Okay. If you thought that story was wild, let's round out the segment with the actual.
Or idea that some more.
Then I want to take a quick second before we get into this wild news story is if you find some weird shit, wild news out there on the web, send it my way. Same handle that you're going to send, you know, fun clips, deep shots, taking all that stuff at check, underscore sway the sway unlimited dot com is a contact button or you can even email it to howdy that's sway unlimited dot com.
Now let's take a look at the story. Thousands of penis fish washed up on California Beach and people love it, urges Kalpoe, better known by its more phallic name for fairly obvious reasons, is a species of marine spoon worm that spends most of its life burrowed in the soft sediment in the seabed. It's also known as the fat innkeeper worm.
And if you're wondering if we have images and videos, well.
We do look at this.
Penis fish. And that's that's what it looks like. It's just a big old downer fish. And here's the beach where all these penis fish are washing up. And this is a beach full of dicks.
This is Dick Head Beach. I mean, there are so many.
Of these things. These birds are just having a heyday, just gobbling down all these penis. There's a video here, too, of, oh, the penis worm and its natural habitat and oh.
Oh, my God. What the fuck was that? Oh, there was like, a little claw that came out.
Oh, my God. That thing does look like a dick.
Uh oh, you can eat the penis worm.
The animal kingdom is wild. Yeah. Let's get back to the story here, learn a little bit more about this. Penis worms. These worms can live under the sand for up to 25 years, their own business and feeding on plankton, bacteria and other small particles that fall into their mucus traps. However, these ten.
Appear to have been disturbed, picked up from their quiet life and strewn across the beach as far as the eye could see, urchins has four species of penis fish urchins. Kalpoe is the only species that is found in North America, and the other three are in Asia. And where they're eaten as a delicacy, as we saw from that video.
So they're just.
A bunch of dick worms out on the beach in California. I mean, what does it say in here that people and people loved it? I mean, it's just funny. Is it just everyone just kind of covering the mouth.
Like, hee hee hee hee, they look like dicks. Well, I.
Mean, kind of if you hold them like that. But if we go back to this video, I want to see if I can posit if I can get this this little hook or.
So they look like if you're listening, they look like in the old time cartoons when there was a.
And the water was coming through. And instead of like, you know, how hoses work, it's just you can't you don't know if it's on or off unless you touch it. But in the cartoons there'd be those bubbles and they would just be going down or like lumps in the hose that would just be going down just to show that there's something running through it.
This is what these penis fishes do and how they move. It's it's pretty gnarly. And so.
Ow. That makes me cringe for some weird reason. So the, the, the penis fish is doing its root bleep, bleep, bleep moving. And then all of a sudden this little hook thing, and I think that's how they eat, just pops out of its fleshy pink surface. Oh, that's vile. That's very vile. I thought the only phallic marine life was the gooey duck.
But lo and behold, there is a it's it's literally called the penis fish aside from the purchase corpo, which if you're a nerd, um.
People love it, I guess. People love a good penis fish.
There it is. Let's wrap up the show. I want to give a another special thanks to the parade. Plus, supporters, AJ, Joe, Michael Davis, Reverend Tanner, Mills, Quinn and Tyler. And I want to thank you for watching and listening this whole episode, and I hope you'll be.
Back for more next week.
On the Sway Parade and every week for the rest of forever, hopefully. All right.