Here's all the links that we discussed on this week's episode:
Lil Bit'a News
Man dies searching for Frisbees in Florida lake amid alligator warnings
Study reveals fish in Florida waters contaminated with pharmaceutical drugs
Missing Pet Tortoise Found In Attic 30 Years Later — Still Alive And Well
Woman in Her Underwear Chases an Eagle Away from Goose while Breastfeeding
WILD NEWS: Six Percent of Americans Think They Could Beat a Grizzly Bear in Hand-to-Hand Combat
The Deep Shot
The Match - Aaron Rodgers, Tom Brady, Patrick Mahomes & Josh Allen
Deshaun Watson Offered Plaintiffs $100,000 Each
DeShawn Stevenson Auctioning 2011 NBA Title Ring
COUNTRY STRONG: World's Strongest Man Competition 2022
Scrub My Clip
Butt Flex for Pride Month
Teas for tiddys
Ashes to Ashes
Planes, trains & Officer Friendly
This here’s crab turf
MOIST CLIP: Gator Baiter
12% of Americans said they can take on a wolf. I'm part of that. 12%, but I'm not part of the previous three. The chimpanzee, the King Cobra and the kangaroo I'd lose that. But one single wolf, unarmed.
I think I could do it. It's this Sway parade with Chuck Sway.
Hello, chums. My name is Chuck Sway, and this is the Sway Parade. In a brand new studio at that, look at all this fun stuff.
Later on in the coming weeks, I'll post a video of this whole tour. And if you're listening head on over to YouTube and check it out because it's it's kind of neat how everything's set up. You'll notice some things that were in the old studio and some new items as well. So for your viewing pleasure, it just got that much enhanced.
And if you're brand new to the show, well, let me tell you what's in store for you. We cover weird news we get a deep shot sports and we round it out with scrubbing some clips. But before we get to that, there are some things we need to address. First off, the caller lay 18275 sway on the hotline.
We do have a caller. We've been dry for the last couple of weeks.
But we finally have a caller. So let's look and see.
Or listen rather what they.
Had to say. Hey, man, I'm a big fan I just been wondering, what's your opinion on the go fucking goat, man, goat fucking.
Interesting question. Good question. Nonetheless. But my opinion on it. Well, I think it was, I don't know, the second or third episode of the show. We showed a sheep or a goat and one of those livestock with some thick cheeks, they were bouncing. My opinion, though, on the goat fucking itself. Now, you weren't very specific caller as to what kind of goat fucking if one goat fucks another.
I say that's just nature. The birds and the bees and the goats, if you will. But if a human gets involved, my opinion on that would be don't tell anyone if you're doing it. And if you have the urge to do it, try to refrain from it. I used to spend my summers in Florida, and there's a lot of wildlife in Florida, and we actually have some of the content in this week's episode.
Highlights that wildlife in Florida. And there was a park in the neighborhood where I would stay out for the summer, and it had a sign at the head of the park right when you were coming into the parking lot, something along the lines of Don't Fuck Animals in the park, which makes you think.
They have to put that sign up? I thought that everyone in their right minds is like, I'm probably not going to fuck an animal. Let's see a gator. Or That's what I thought as a kid. It was like a cricket. So who's going to put their dick in a cricket but a goat? And there were no goats in this park.
But if I saw someone fucking a goat, I would probably call the local authorities, so. Good question. There's my opinion. Don't fuck goats. And if you do don't tell anyone about it. So if you want to ask a question like that or anything else under this glorious sun, 818275 Sway, call in. Leave a message, ask a question and you can get my take.
Raw, uncensored. I was not expecting a goat fucking question, but now you know, you can check that one off the box. If you're thinking about calling in and asking it. Now, let's move on to giving some praise to the almighty algorithm. And if you're new to the show, the almighty algorithm is the entity that sorts all the podcasts, all the content out there in the universe.
And we get spiritual and we pray to the almighty algorithm. Now, up until this point, I have been giving my own prayers, bowing my head, lifting my hands to the algorithmic heaven and saying a blessing. But this week, I'm going to put this on you, the listener and the viewer. I'm going to play.
The hymn Nick.
Music. I don't even think that's a word, but.
Chanting of the almighty algorithm, the anthem, if you will. And I would just ask for you to take a time to say a few words of your own. Now, if you're by yourself driving in your car or you're at the gym and there's people around, really doesn't matter, just say it under your breath if you don't feel comfortable shouting it out to the heavens and if you have the wherewithal to record it, just shoot it to me.
Deem it Chuck underscore sway on all social media's and I'll be sure to feature it. But we you take this time now.
To pray to the almighty algorithm and you have about 30 seconds or so so in what you have to get in. All right. Back your heads please for all right I'm sure what you said was lovely and beautiful and hopefully your calls for praise and glory, the almighty algorithm will beckon them now without all the way. Let's get into the news.
What's the big deal, fella? It's just a little bit news.
This week, a man dies.
Searching for Frisbees in Florida Lake amid alligator warnings. I mentioned that we would be getting into Florida and wildlife. And here we are, the number one story a man died searching for Frisbees in a lake at a disco, of course, where people were warned by signs to beware of alligators. Didn't mention don't fuck them. But I can probably guarantee that there was probably that sign as well.
The unidentified man was looking for flying discs in the water and a gator was involved the Largo Police Department said in an email. People who frequent the discourse said it is not unusual for someone to look for lost disks that could be sold for a few dollars. These are people that are down on their luck. 1056, told the Tampa Bay Times.
Sometimes they dove in the lakes. They pull out 40 discs and you may sell them for five bucks apiece, and you may sell them for ten bucks apiece, depending on the quality. And the man that decided to jump into the lake was worth a little bit of scratch to ultimately get eaten by an alligator. Alligators were once considered endangered animals in Florida, but have since flourished.
They feed mainly on fish turtles snakes and small mammals. However, they are also known as opportunistic predators that will eat just about anything that comes their way, including carrion rotting meat and pets and people looking for discs in a lake or pond in Florida. And alligators have no natural predators in the wild. So you're in their element, buckaroo.
You gonna get eaten by a gator? Next story study reveals.
In Florida. Stand in Florida, Florida, Florida waters. Pardon me. Contaminated with pharmaceutical drugs. This is a very Florida story. A recently published three year study out of Florida International University discovered pharmaceuticals present in the blood and tissue of bone fish living in the South Florida coast. Reached researchers at the university's.
Fish and Tarpon Trust. Betty said in February that only. Not only did each of the 93 fish sampled contain drugs.
But the fish averaged seven pharmaceuticals, each.
With at least one containing 17 different substances. So going back to the last story, I'm curious what drugs were in this man's system and what did this gator consume and if the gators are going out into the the coast, are they getting some narms and some bonefish and the drugs that they got on them? Let's read a little bit more into what is in these fish.
Examples of drugs found in the fish include blood pressure medication, antidepressants, prostate treatments, antibiotics and pain relievers, research researchers said it was noted that many of these drugs were also found in common bone fish prey. So it's all up and down the ecosystem Taken as indicative that the fisheries were the bonefish were tested is not the only region affected by similar human based drug contamination.
So next time you're in Florida and you order some bone fish, I don't even I don't even know if you eat bone fat. I don't know what a bone fish is, but there's drugs in it. And if you play your cards right and roll the dice, you could get a little bit extra in that fillet. Next story. And you're probably noticing a theme here.
A lot of animals. This is say animalistic episode. We're dealing with missing pet tortoise found in Attic. 30 years later, still alive and well growing up Natalie de Ami, our media pardon me heard stories from her mother about a beloved pet tortoise named Manuela, whom she'd had as a child in the early 1980s. The stories, however, were always tinged with heartache because they lost it one day in 1982 when Almeida's mom was just eight years old, Manuela had gone missing at the time.
Manuel, his family assumed the tortoise had wandered away from home. Which really you had plenty of time to catch it on. It's escape. It's a tortoise, mind you, never to be seen again. But they couldn't have been more wrong. Flash forward 30 years to 2013. Ahmed, his grandmother or grandfather, had recently passed away and her family gathered at her mom's childhood home.
To sort through his possessions and meet. His grandfather had left behind a very cluttered attic and as the room was cleared and things moved out for sorting someone noticed something.
There in the box. An old wooden speaker in an old wooden speaker was a tortoise whom they recognized incredibly, the tortoise had somehow managed to survive three decades trapped inside the storage space. Her family suspects by eating termite larvae in the overfilled room. How survived nearly ten years after being found in 40 years after going missing. Manuela has never been better, though, since later being identified as a boy tortoise.
He now goes by Manuel. And if you don't believe me, there's a photo. There's that tortoise in the attic. Right there, surviving for 40 or 30 years now. I had something similar happened to me when I was but a wee lad. I had a pet chameleon named Turbo Panzer Fun Turbo had gotten out. Now this is about the same speed as a tortoise.
Chameleons are not very fast, and we didn't know where Turbo was, but it didn't take 30 years to find it. It showed up a couple of days later behind the TV. Had some dust on it. We put it back in its cage, but this tortoise, Manuela slash Manuel, got some survival skills. Next story a woman in her underwear chases an eagle.
Away from goose.
While breastfeeding. A woman in Canada was in her house nursing her baby when she saw an eagle swoop down and carry away her pet goose. Next thing you know, she's running out the front door in her underwear, baby a breast and chasing the eagle away. Reports say that the goose was OK. And there is a video of said goose.
Take a look at this right away.
Well, I tried to think.
But I think there's a delay in the audio and the video on this clip, which, by the way, I should mention, you can see all of the clips, everything mentioned here without the blurred genitalia, genitalia effect, a sway element, a dot com in the show notes every single episode go watch it. Providing that link still exists. And this one as of right now does.
So this woman, this mother is just feeding her child Ed.
And then here's the goose, starting with what's the name of the goose? What does it what's a sound make a honk, goose's honk. Right. The goose started honking because.
Bald eagle swooped out of nowhere, tried to steal it right away. They right there came in hot and tried to grab the poor thing by its neck and fly away.
Now I don't know.
It's it's heroic watching it again, right? Like, if if she would have been more concerned about the baby having a suckle.
Of her teeth.
Then the goose, then the eagle might have gotten away with it. It did fly off without getting its prey.
But good on.
This woman. I mean, mothers do a lot, a lot of multitasking. I reference the episode of SpongeBob where he has, like, 500 different arms and he's trying to clean and do laundry and all this stuff. And this lady is trying to breastfeed and fend off a fucking eagle from her goose. So good on her. That's a good mom.
Happy belated Mother's Day to you, Canadian mother. Next story. And it's a wild one.
Audie. That's some wild names.
6% of Americans think they could beat a grizzly bear in hand to hand combat.
Before we get into this, I've mentioned it multiple times on this show on previous programs that I have made. I've never said that I could think I could fight a bear, but a wolf, one single wolf. I will still defend that and die on that hill. I think I can take one single wolf. And according to this study, 6% of Americans think they can take on something far larger than a wolf and there's actually a chart here.
I'm going to throw it up on screen and then we'll get into this story a new study shines light on the depths of delusion and wrongness in the heart of man, as YouGov has released a new study on just what members of the animal kingdom Americans think they could take on. A male grizzly bear can weigh up to 1700 pounds and 6% of American boys.
You might be listening to this program right now. Think they could take on a grizzly fucking bear? Surprisingly, the survey didn't find much statistical difference between men and women toward the top of the scale, which means that crazy does not see sex and gender. Well, men are quite a bit more confident in their ability to handle smaller animals than women are.
They were equally deranged when it comes to grizzlies, lions and the like. When I go back here, I'm going to throw this up and we're going to break this down so we start as small as a rat. 72% of Americans thought that they could take on a rat I think one single rat. That's pretty easy. I mean, they did get us down bad with the bubonic plague, but for the most part, one single rat, not that harmless Next, we have a house cat.
We've shown a crazy house cat on this show before, and it fucked up a man in his little dog. But again, it's a small house cat. You can take it on. We're just smarter creatures. A goose. Well, if you can protect a goose like the last story with the breastfeeding mother, I think you could take on a goose.
Really? Like they're going to. They're going to put their wings out and they're going to honk at you all aggressive, but they just one good boot into the the breast of the goose. They're probably gone. Next is a medium sized dog. 100%. You could take on a medium sized dog. It's actually one of the easiest things you could do.
Maybe easier than a cat, I would argue, than an eagle. Oh, funny how Goose and Eagle are both on this list. 30% of Americans said that they could take on an eagle and beat it in a fight. Now, it doesn't specify what kind of eagle, but I'm going to just play off of the story from before with a bald eagle.
They're massive. I actually.
I was driving to work and I saw a bald eagle land into the road. And the reason I knew it was a bald eagle. Aside from the big bald white head in the power of freedom that I got, the sense of when I got closer was the wingspan. It's huge wingspan and big ol sharp talons. So I'm going to chalk it up as an eagle would be difficult because they're big and they can fly.
So you get a good swipe at them. They get a good swipe at you. Those talons are not going to feel good. Next. 23% of Americans said a large dog. Again, just get it around the neck. You hold on until it stops fighting and you win. Not that challenging. Next one. 17% of Americans said they could take a chimpanzee on one on one and beat it.
You're fucking deranged. If you think you can do that, chimpanzees will fuck you up. And I'm not getting into the Joe Rogan level of explanation and fascination with chimps. You have your own time to do that. You should know, though, just in general, chimpanzees will fuck you up. The only way that you would have a shot, and it's a long shot at that would be in water because chimps, they're big ol arms, big long arms.
They can't swim too well, but they still, if they're panicking and flailing to try and get out of the water and you're like, I'm going to take my shot and give a little punch, you're still probably going to get fucked up Next on the list, King Cobra. 15% of Americans think they can take on a King Cobra. Now, now we're introducing snakes into this.
You've seen the slow mo of a snake being threatened, winding up and striking the shit is lightning. So if you have an that's actually one thing that isn't brought up in this study is, is this hand a hand? Oh, no, it's right here. Never mind unarmed. You think you'd be the King Cobra unarmed? It's 11 mistake, and you're done.
You go for a punch. I don't know why I try to punch a snake. I'd go for the kick personally, but you try to punch you, miss you're bit right in your arm. You better start sucking or saying your prayers and preparing to meet whatever. Preparing to meet the almighty algorithm. If you will. Next on the list, just 1% lower than the King Cobra.
A kangaroo kangaroos. I'm sure you've seen the pictures of the.
Old buff who's jacked. Just looks like they go to the gym every single day and know that's just how nature made them. And they have a kick that can send a football like 500 yards to a goalpost. I'm going to say, no, you can't. You can't fight a kangaroo. Now, you would say that there is that video, that guy with the dog, the dogs are getting attacked by the kangaroo, got the dog in a headlock.
That's like a medium sized dog. So it's kind of an easy target. Then the guy comes up, frees a dog, gives you all one, two to him. But that was just self-defense to get away. It's fight to the death and I think a kangaroo would outlast you. Now to the two, the one the hill that I'm dying on.
12% of Americans said they can take on a wolf I'm part of that. 12%, but I'm not part of the previous three. The chimpanzee and the King Cobra and the kangaroo. I'd lose that. But one single wolf unarmed.
I think I could do it.
Next here is a crocodile, the man who jumped in the lake looking for disks was wrong. He might have been in that. 91% because 9% of Americans think they can take a crocodile. Now, I'm sure we've all seen our fair share of Steve Irwin clips. Live Animal Planet Rest in peace. And he makes it look easy and you learned a lot about alligators and crocodiles.
And one thing you if you remember I know I do, is that alligators cannot open their mouths if you hold them shut. But the problem is you have to get their mouth shut. If you tape that up, if you're able to clamp on to the mouth and then get on top of it and try to stop the death roll, you're then you're gator wrestling.
I don't know how you would then kill it. It's got big, huge armored scales. I mean, it's a fucking dinosaur that still exists, for Christ's sake, for the algorithms sake. My apologies. So I don't know how you would go for a kill shot on a crocodile if you were on top of it. One arm with its mouth over its mouth.
So can't open it. And then what? You're just going to like squeeze its gullet and be like, yeah, you're going to run out of air eventually. They live in the water. They can hold their breath a long time. So I'm going to I'm going to say no on the crocodile now we're getting into the crazy stuff. 80% of Americans say they can fight a.
With their bare hands and win. Now, it's one thing to be confident to take on a chimpanzee, but a fucking gorilla. Those things are like £1,000. Like, there's a video out there. I've I'm sure you've seen it where it's a group of photographers with National Geographic or whatever, and they're out photography, photographing for photography, being gorillas, and this gorilla just kind of walks by, nonchalant, just grabs one of the guys by his foot, not even aggressively, just just starts pulling him along as it's doing its little gorilla walk and then just lets him go.
And he's like, Yeah, just so you know, I can fuck you up. So we're getting very delirious now. Next one on this list, an elephant was this 8% as well. The Americans think they can take on an elephant. This is the biggest, biggest land animal in the world.
Like, how are you going to do that?
They're also very smart and very sensitive and very gentle. If you don't piss them off they're sensitive creatures.
What how how are you going to do that with your bare.
Like that doesn't make any sense.
And the next one that doesn't make any sense. And also, 8% of Americans think they could do this.
Is a fucking lion, a lion yeah. Do you not watch Tiger King? You see how stupid.
That is to go toe to toe with one.
With your bare hands? You're not going to have hands left if you go up.
Against the lion. And then last the grizzly bear. 6% of Americans are out of their fucking mind thinking that you take on a grizzly bear it's these last what? Gorilla, elephant, lion, grizzly bear. You don't have a fucking shot crocodile. Maybe if you know what you're doing and if you're big enough, me being the stature that I am, I think maybe.
Maybe I might get lucky. Wolf. 100%. I've talked about this, and I'll continue to talk about it. I can take on a wolf easy. One single wolf, bare hands. I'm actually looking into it right now. Kangaroo. No. And then we, you know, it gets easier and easier, but those last four maybe four and a half want to count crocodile?
Shot. OK, you think I'm delirious saying I can take on a single wolf? Why don't you talk to the guy or girl? Because it's equal at that point. Take on a fucking grizzly bear. And there's actually a chart to share here.
Oh, this is.
Actually a different one. I forgot about this. So which animals would win in a fight? They did all these animals on a head to head battle. So respondents were asked to choose which animal would win in a fight. In a series of head to head matchups, figures shown are the percentage of times each animal won the fight, starting off with elephants.
74% of the time. Then a tiger. 70%. That's not a chimp. Is that a baboon? Oh, no, that's not a hyena. What the fuck is that? These are different animals. A certain mouth, different owls. There's a cobra. 54%. And then 14% of Americans say that a goose would win in a head to head and come out on top yeah.
This is a completely different, less thrown me for a loop. I mean, where was Americans thinking they could turn on like a rhino or a tiger, a leopard, a panther cheetah, all these big cats? It's not going to happen. You're done. Don't even try. And a anaconda and a condor anaconda. Probably not a hyena.
It's kind of the same thing with wolves.
They work really well in packs, but by themselves. Maybe and then eagle kangaroo, honey badger. It's a it's a weird kind of break down of the list. But where do you fall in this? Like, where do you stop let me go back to the list. Are you where's that? 50% mark. So we'll say medium sized dog. Are you on the side of the fence?
That you can go a little bit further than medium sized dog or just stick him with rat house cat and goose? I'm curious. Let me know right in call a fucking 818275 so you can write in email howdy at Sway Unlimited dot com. If you go down to the contact at Swain Ltd dot com all that stuff is there it's it's easy to get in touch with me I swear.
But yeah, I would like to know where you think you could stack up against these fellow members of the animal kingdom. This episode of the Sway Parade is brought to you by Infinity Plus Member Shadow to AJ Joe Michael Davis, Reverend Tanner, Mills, Quinn, Tyler and Dan the dad. Thank you all for supporting the show with your monetary donations.
And I will see that special promotion right now. All these people, they don't know yet, but they're going to get it. But if you sign up within the next week to any plan that Lois one $6.90 parade plus are all the way up to the $0.69 a month for 69 years comes out to like $532.73 something like that and we'll get you a framed and 100% sign photo of me walking through the woods eight and a half by 11.
Put it up anywhere in your house it's a great centerpiece really ties a room together. Without further ado let's get back.
To the show. Good, good strong look at that big belly shop you're getting the restless a deep shot.
So like most weeks, we cover Josh Allen. Mostly it's a it's not a Bills podcast. It's not a football podcast. It's a sports segment, but it's highly focused on the one Josh Allen, quarterback of the Buffalo Bills. And of this last week, there was the match, the amateur matchup between professional quarterbacks. It was Aaron Rodgers and Thomas Brady versus Patrick Mahomes and our boy Josh Allen.
And we got some clips to show from this event, mostly focusing on Josh. So let's take a look.
First one at his actual size right out of the dome took a little piece out of it.
So Josh Allen shown off his accuracy with the Charles Barkley, another Chuck in show business a little bit more prominent of one. I will give props where props are due.
Taking the big Ole.
Chuck head and just taking a little bit of the top off.
Right out of the.
Josh Allen most accurate got the biggest arm in the NFL. There's no surprise. Next clip we have more of Josh on in the match.
Oh my goodness.
Just Payton edges now. That's his teammate Patrick Mahomes who's actually putting fits if you can't see but Josh if you're phone the cursor here and it's not on YouTube just I mean find it the link is there the puck goes in, Josh.
Leg out. One could assume that is nuts. We're stuck on the inside of his leg. I mean, this is in Vegas, I believe, if I remember correctly, it gets hot in Vegas. Even in I mean, June. Yeah, we're into June now. It's it's nice and hot. So it's just a little untuck, a little bit of ball luck for his teammate Patrick.
But those balls were not enough because Patrick just missed the hole, just barely. But talking about missing holes, this is the definition I'm going to play and then we'll get into.
It David, good hit up there. Oh, this is pretty good job on Allen. Oh, wow.
That is a deep shot if I have ever seen one. If you're just listening. The green in which the ball lies and the hole on the green is probably a good I'm trying to count it out here. If Josh Allen was laying down, it probably be like one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight or nine. Josh Allen's laid out and.
He gets he gets this close.
He gets so close to sinking it. And if I remember correctly, there was a bet on this putt. I was like, Hey, Chuck, if I make this putt, you're going to have to, I don't know, kiss Shaq's ring or something or whatever the bet was it was that close to happening? And if it did happen, I'd actually have the information to let you know what the bet was.
But I can't remember now, rounding out the match, I saved it for the end because I didn't think it was as important as these fun clips. But Josh Allen and Patrick Mahomes did lose a very close one to Aaron Rodgers and Tom Brady, but it was a fun one. It was fun to see the old the old guys and the young young bloods in the NFL go toe to toe in a game of golf.
I have a lot of appreciation for the skill that these athletes show outside of their sport because I can't go for shit. The last time I golfed, I was on the driving range and I went down. I wound up. I didn't even think you're supposed to wind up a golf swing. You're just supposed to follow through and do all that.
I wound up, I came down and on my follow through as I'm trying to find a ball, the ball is like I don't know, goes like if we're going to use Josh Allen as a distance, the ball travels like.
I don't know.
Ten. Josh Allen's on a driver. The big the big sticks in golf and a little bit higher up on the horizon. I see the head of the driver going further than the ball so props to these multi-sport athletes you can do what I can only dream of. Now let's get into some more stories on.
Shot. Deshaun Watson offered plaintiffs $100,000 each now brush up on your Deshaun Watson legal troubles.
Well he's had.
A few accusations to say that lately he's had multiple women come forward be like, hey, this guy is not doing what he's supposed to be doing. And behaving how he's supposed to be behaving in front of professionals like us. Most of them or some of them, at least I know for a fact, were professional masochists so whatever the plural is for that.
And Sean Watson made some pretty inappropriate comments when he was getting like a regular massage, not like a turn over and polished off, just regular professional massages for an NFL body. The lawsuit claims in a footnote that last year before cases were filed, Watson offered each plaintiff $100,000 along.
With a, quote.
Aggressive nondisclosure agreement. So he basically said, I'll give you a hundred grand if you promise to not even mention my name. If someone asks, hey, where are you part of that Deshaun Watson business? But no, I've never heard of him. It's like the quarterback. He plays football now. I don't even know football is I don't know what aggressive nondisclosure, but that's in my mind.
That's what it sounds like. It is of course, we know that Deshaun Watson offered each plaintiff $100,000 to settle their cases, but not all would accept the amount due to the aggressive nondisclosure agreement that Watson's team proposed. According to reports, the Dolphins who are interested in trading for the quarterback in 2021 wanted all 22 cases active at the time.
Settled with NDA language before making a deal. So that's a big sentence to unpack. If I'm understanding this correctly, the dolphins are like hey we'll trade for you if you can get everyone to sign the agreement saying they've never heard of you and then we can just pretend like it doesn't exist because that's what NFL teams do. Shit comes down and they're like.
Why did you make it go away?
It doesn't matter to us if it happened or not, but as long as people aren't going to be talking about it, we'll sign. We'll go get the contract, we'll get you paid. Although the civil lawsuits are still ongoing. Let me go back. 18 of the 22 women were willing to accept $100,000 and the NDA. So a chance like 100 grand that you didn't have sorry for the lifelong trauma of just trying to do your job and getting inappropriately hit on and had sexual advances made towards you for from an NFL player but here's a hundred grand should you blow over inflation.
100 grand is like ten grand nowadays what I take it maybe but still four of them for these women we're like no fuck you. Although the civil lawsuits are still ongoing, Cleveland traded for Watson in March and signed him to a five year contract worth a guaranteed $230 million during his introductory press conference with the Browns Watson denied assaulting, harassing or disrespecting any woman as naturally as he should.
He just signed to a team like, Oh, do you want to comment on all these allegations?
I just made $230 million. So it's not really an issue to me. And if you do the math with all $230 million guaranteed.
Tiede he could have.
20 277 more women come forward and be like, I'll give you a hundred grand if you don't talk about it. And he'd still walk out with just net positive or net zero rather in his, in his bank account. So props to the four women that said No, fuck you, I know how much you make, I want more. And also I probably want some justice too because I feel fucking violated.
So to shun Watson, we'll see. He might be suspended for the beginning of the season. A lot of people are upset that he's even playing football in general with all these allegations, whether if they're true or not, I don't know. Surrounding him, but he's got a bag. So if Deshaun Watson comes up to you and harasses you, either sexually, physically, whatever, he's got $230 million to shovel out.
Just know what you're worth. Next story Deshawn different one Deshawn Stevenson's auctioning 2011 NBA title ring former mavericks guard Deshawn Stevenson Stevenson pardon is auctioning off his 2010 to 2011 I can't fucking dunk NBA title ring from Dallas Victory over LeBron James the Miami Heat And the price is already pretty high for the special piece of memorabilia and at the time this article was written the auction was still ongoing.
It is now concluded we'll get to that final sale price here in a minute. Now the ring itself ten K gold ring includes more than 130 brilliant. I don't know what brilliant cut is when it comes to diamonds, but they're they're fucking brilliant. According to you as CPAs auctions there are 31 diamonds that surround the Mavs logo in the center of the ring to commemorate the team's 31st season of the NBA where they won at all.
One side of the ring features the team's motto a time is now accompanied by the Larry O'Brien trophy. And the opposite side includes Stevenson's name and number. Now I mention this auction was ongoing and no longer is this ring sold for $73,000 $27,000 less than what Deshaun Watson would pay you if you accuse him of sexual assault. But this leads to another question.
There's no allegations that I'm aware of, of Deshawn Stevenson being in any sort of trouble like that. But financially.
Most would argue if you play a professional sport and you win the granddaddy of them all in the respect of league, that's probably one of your best accomplished accomplishments of your life. It's the pinnacle.
Sports of whatever sport you play or do.
But not spending your money. Right. Well.
Deshawn, Stevenson might be in a little bit of a rough spot because dude had to sell his championship ring.
Well, what is he.
Doing with his finances? Did he buy all into Dogecoin and was like, why the fuck is it going down? I thought I could only go up 73 K, so it's a lot of money, but the you only get one ring, you can't buy a back. And now, I mean, how are you supposed to survive off of seven? That's like a salary for a lot of people is like I make $73,000 a year.
I barely make ends meet. It's like, well I just made $73,000 selling my ring and I'm going to go buy the most expensive piece of meat I can earn. Dallas, I'm sure fucking Texas I got some good I got some good cuts of meat and beef over there and we'll get to country strong is a little bit of a prelude.
I went and checked to see what else was floating around this CCP Auctions. This is a site that was they list a bunch of sports memorabilia authenticated it's a real deal. There's some real money being pushed around on this site and I went to ring specifically to see, OK who else is down on their luck and has to get rid of their championship ring.
Well Jeremy Hill was a running back for the Patriots in 2018 he's selling his Super Bowl ring and last I checked it was at $83,000 probably more another Super Bowl ring from the 2010 New Orleans Saints victory this was Cortez Kennedy who wasn't a player he was actually an advisor for the Saints. If you know NFL and the long history of it he actually was a Seahawk for about ten years and he passed away in 2017 so this is his estate maybe being like oh this was Cortez a Super Bowl ring but he's not here and we need money so they're selling it that was last checked at $41,000 probably higher and then Eldridge Robinson
wide receiver for the Atlanta Falcons selling his 2016 NFC championship ring that one's not going for a whole lot for four grand almost five grand and then one of the members of the Lakers staff during Kobe Bryant Pau Gasol Lamar Odom before he was going to whorehouses who else was on that team? Jordan Farmar Luke Walton one of the staff members of the Lakers organization 2009.
They're getting rid of their NBA finals ring and that one last I checked of 4.54 and a half thousand dollars. I did check though, I was like, OK, at this point in time, what is the most expensive thing out for auction right now? And it was a Kobe Bryant authenticated rookie worn jersey that was like $1.6 million. I mean, rest in peace.
My God. So I mean, yeah, I mean, some of these athletes I mean, there's we're missing a big side of the story here of like, I mean, do they just not care for material items anymore or do they not have any money left take care of your money, take care of investments, hire a financial adviser. Or if you can't, if you don't want to just learn how to use Google sheets, take care of your money so you don't have to sell your ring the SpinCo in Lynnwood between four or five and five online at CNN.com.
This 14 karat gold piece of hardware I got, I'll never sell this don't matter how tough on my luck I'll get, but I probably won't get, you know, tens of thousands of dollars for it either. So everyone has their price. Right. OK, let's get country.
Strewn who just don't play the week.
Already one would say this week's country's trial did not a single.
One not even a live one.
But arguably a triple shot.
Now what we had over this weekend was the world's.
Strongest man competition. And what I find out is they don't airs on television for months they got to get it all, edit it up. It's just too strong. The show was a life beat. So in honor of 2022 World's strongest man and appropriately country's strongest.
We have a clip here.
From the man on their own, Game of Thrones. And he's getting strong this is back here in 2018 where he won let's take a look at this country drone. Oh he's picking up that anchor and walking across it we're going to set it down who's going to run back.
In it grab a big old anvil that's about the sound of me taking it back put it put him up nicely on the table No he's going all going for the king.
Press £265 picking it up, getting strong, throwing.
Up your friend back. You get two more. I'm glad. Three to £30 big old bear saying or something. I don't even know what it is truly make up one more you got. What is it. This is the latest Mo. It's up to you to put it down. Wow. Oh Dawson and Jen wins the event. Oh, my God. To hold him down.
He did it oh, he is. I'm out of breath. Just call that one here.
Now take into account this is from 2018 this was four years ago. You would think it just gets stronger than that. And indeed it does. This is from this year. We went from big old bills and some kegs and bags of sand and big old heavy items. We got a whole blown motherfucking car here.
Let's take a look Curtis Strong picking up this mug. Ready for the whistle. Let's go. Right. And there it goes. Picking up the mug. Go. Walking it down real near. No interest in that beer. No dream. Mentioned it to me. Don't cut. Go, man. Going down instead of trying to get to the finish line, your guy goes oh, oh.
Felt the power in me. I've never felt before watching these videos.
Oh, my goodness. Oh, that is common trash straw.
I'm actually sweating. It's just so.
Oh, 20, 22 world's strongest man country is strongest thus far. I tell you what, and as I mentioned, they're not going to come out with this on television for quite some time. They need to get everything in order, make sure that it is the strongest that you can make it. But there is one clip from the victor and that man's name is Tom Stallman.
If you recall from a few weeks ago, he was one that was picking up the bowl, setting it up with the high point, picking up another boulder, setting it down at the not so high point all the way down to win Europe. Strongest man. But spoiler alert, if you're setting your DVR as a watch, world's strongest man, he took the cake now he's from the United Kingdom.
Six foot eight.
£8 and he is.
World's strongest man. He didn't get the strong click because we haven't seen the full competition.
This was just fans taking video. But oh, my God, it's real country strong so we take a look at this last clip here.
This is what titled him World's Strongest Man. And we don't get the full story. We don't see the photo finish. None of that. Well, we can see him picking up boulders.
Like we know he can do, going up, getting down low, getting up them Kuchar strong and he wins we don't know what happened on the other side, but Tom Stoneman works strongest man. 20, 22 in this episode. Kershaw strong.
Oh wow. What a bunch of great clips on the Deep Shot. Now let's move on to scrubbing some clips.
Scrub my clip. Clip we gonna get into scrubbing some clips to round.
Out the show.
And what we have here is taking a second to honor Pride Month This is for the month of June. If you're a big corporation you change your logo to a rainbow to support LGBTQ plus communities and their strife. So in LGBTQ plus fashion and Pride Month, this came across my feed this is a butt flex workout video from a while ago trying to make your button nice and tight, going out as a member of the homosexual community.
You got to make sure you're nice and tight. And that actually doesn't even apply towards homosexual men. If you got a tight ass in any sexual preference, you're going to get far. Let's take a look.
It's time for Bud Cap and I have your capsule, but can butt flex squeeze and both. And one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. To the right.
And it's not that much cake. I mean, you get the point, but it won't work out your ass for Pride Month. Here's a video to watch. Really gets you in in the mood for it all. Next clip.
What do we have here?
Oh, there's no sound but this man is on a sidewalk holding up a sign.
Team's for titties.
And some female officers come up and say.
We're going to take you downtown.
I don't know.
What the charges here. Maybe you could order constitutional rights, freedom of speech, or inciting violence. Uh, selling without a permit. I mean, they could tag him for a bunch of different things, but he was just trying to give some tees up for some titties. Now, I didn't say what kind of tees. If it's twisted tees, you got to have a permit for that.
Pretty sure if it's alcohol, but this man just wants to see some titties, but now he can't because he got booked in jail. But I'm sure he'll be out on the street trying his same old schemes in due time.
Next clip, all righty.
Yeah. So the caption on this video, if you're listening, says he cheated on me. So I threw his mom's ashes in the river. And it is a woman with an urn on a bridge and dumping what would be her ex-boyfriend's mother's ashes that's cold. That's real cold. That poor woman, that nice dead woman now is just wow. Dust in the wind, literally.
What did this guy to do to piss her off? Good golly. All right, next clip so there's no sound for the first bit of this, but it's a body cam of an officer, and it looks to be a downed bird, a plane. Oh, and this dude's all bloodied in the face. Here we go to crash a plane, and then here comes a train.
So this guy was flying the plane, then it crashed, and it just so happened to crash right on the train tracks, and the trains come in, and when it's come, you can't slow it down. The one thing that I wanted to look at on this clip, because it's it's wild. Mr. President, get the the moist this clip. So officers trying to get him out of the plane, he's I mean, he's bloodied.
He's probably discombobulated. You were just in the air. Now you're on the ground. Here comes the train. The train just takes it out. I mean, it didn't have time to slow down. Had time to pockets blow its little horn, but they got him out. Very heroic. Now, what I don't get is this little part right here. Let me put the sound on so you hear that?
Yeah. One more time.
So if you're listening you might be wondering what that is and if you're watching and be, like, to watch this happen. So what looks like happened is there drag ing this fallen, this downed pilot away and the officer after the train hits the plane and they know they got him safe, he just, you know, he takes it personally and just does a drop punch right on the guy and just falls on him.
What I think happened was he lost his footing and probably thought, oh, my God, I just saved a guy from a plane. The guy hit by a train. What the fuck? But it looks like he just adds insult to injury and like, fuck you for crashing. You try that again. Not in my town. Protect and serve. So, yeah, that was pretty crazy.
Next clip here. What do we have no sound on this one, but it's a crab and it's a crab. Ooh. Now leaving the ocean floor and chasing after whoever has this camera with its little crab flippers. Just this is like what a turf war looks like. It's like, no.
Remember that get away. You go, go. Fuck. You don't come back. Yeah, no.
Now I'm getting aggressive.
I guess crabs are very territorial. Next clip.
Right now, I do not. First of all, I'm not done.
So just to set the scene, as you can hear, this is not in English, but it's in a car, and it's at nighttime, and they look to be doing some late night drifts, as you know, one would normally do. And usually when it's a video like this and it's only 14 seconds long, the probably something's going to go wrong with the drift.
Let's take a look.
I should make um.
OK so nothing went wrong with the drifter per persay, but something interesting happened that they probably these people doing the drift probably don't normally see and it's a fucking cow in the middle of the road at night and they just drift around.
The jetty tilting down to do.
And avoid the cow completely.
I should think.
But now, hold on. I want to break this down because I feel like this might be what's the phrase doctored using, say, docks, but is it doctored? Do they just Photoshop after effects?
Sun no. And they.
Go back and freeze it.
That looks like a real cow in the middle of the road that they're just.
Deer in headlights. No, it's a cow and headlights. It's a cool thing. This cow seen in its life oh, it looks like a real cow. I think I'll give it to the old one to pass. Wants a real cow and they missed it. Cool. All right, let's check out the the moist clip.
This next clip is so moist.
Going back to Florida. There was in the news. There was in the well, it was in and it wasn't in the sports. It is in the news multiple times. And now it's the Moisés clip of this week. Let's take a look OK.
Jim, I'm German. I'm on my way out fast. You know everybody I know, but I'm making kung fu close right up low and making come to close up. Listen, I'm on, so watch out. Why you OK?
If you are just listening, you heard the copyrighted.
No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.
I can't do anything about that. It's embedded in the video. But what you saw, if you were watching.
Gator. So this guy is out on a boat, probably a little kayaked fishing, and he's reel in his lure in. And lo and behold, a nice Floridian alligator is swimming by thinking, oh, that's a tasty treat. Eat that. Because we learned earlier in the show alligators don't have a predator, and they eat just about anything so it's swimming up.
And he's like, ooh, you see, its tail flopping is going to get.
Me a good snack.
And kind of takes I think they're called the jig I spent like two weekends in 20, 20 fishing, so I know all about fishing.
OK, so the gator lunges at it, doesn't get the jig, guy reels it in his boat or above whatever and the gator wins it realizes it's been a bamboozled turns to the real treat here which is the guy taking the video and it.
Lunges at him and oh the video ends it's like a perfectly cut ending because did this guy make it? Is this the guy was he fishing for Frisbee disks and the news story and this is the actually the video footage that they didn't announce in that new story because it just the gator the gator jumps in the boat.
I mean, I have it frozen on a frame of the gator leg inside the boat. And we go a little bit further. Oh, man.
That I don't what was what was the the stats fucking.
14% of Americans think they can take on a gator for you right there. That's why it can't happen.
That's that they'll.
Fuck you up. It's not going to happen. Be smart and so you can take on a wolf because that one is pretty logical.
This one fucking gators, man. Oh, my God.
Just stay out of Florida. I mean really that's that's all I have to do. Just don't go there. Don't. Yeah. Stay out of swamp. It's it's like it's Shrek. It's my swamp. No. Done, Florida. It's the gator swamp. Just stay out of it. And with that, I'm going to get out of your hair, OK? That was so bad.
Apologies. We're going to end the show for this week. Want to give a another shout out to all the parade plus supporters and their producer roles for the show. AJ, Joe Michael Davis, Quinn Tyler, Reverend Tanner Mills and Dan the dad. Thank you so much for your support and thank you to you for listening and watching. Doesn't cost you a dime and it means the world to me.
Maybe not my wallet, but it means the world to me that, you know, you're actually enjoying it. And I hope to see you next time. Here on the Swift Parade.