Here's all the links that we discussed on this week's episode:
Lil Bit'a News
Tornado hits marijuana farm near Maud, Oklahoma
Ulta Beauty apologizes for perfume promo email
Miata Driver Charged With Felony for Doing Donuts in Empty Parking Lot
Sheriff arrests his own daughter for meth trafficking
Corrections officer arrested & fired for the killing of Carl the Rooster
WILD NEWS: A 26-year-old man volunteered to drink a dysentery smoothie that would give him life-threatening diarrhea to help scientists making a vaccine
The Deep Shot
NASCAR orders Denny Hamlin to begin sensitivity training after 'Family Guy' tweet
USFL: Elite lungs
Puke to points
Country Strong: Big yard turns to big slam
Scrub My Clip
Country Strong personified
Trying to feel young again
MOIST CLIP: Just a suckle
There's no approved vaccine against the bacteria, which is the second leading cause of diarrhea death globally. The number one killer. You might ask is, of course, Taco Bell. It's this Sway parade with Chef Sway welcome into this Sway Parade. My name is Chuck Sway and this is the parade. And it's just like any other parade. Sit back and enjoy the festivities.
We got some wild news, some deep shots, sports and walking around it, our school in some clips. Now, last week was a little bit different. I wasn't able to record a conventional episode of the parade, so I hope you enjoyed that episode I had with Reverend Tanner Mills. And the hope is, is he will be on this show in a new conversation here shortly.
Now, before we get started on the whole shebang, I just want to take a second and plead to you for your contribution to the show. Not monetarily. I've been pushing this a lot, but more so just the easy bit of whatever platform that you're watching or listening on. Just rate it, thumbs up, five star review, all that good stuff.
That helps out the show tremendously. But that's just one side of the coin. The other side is praying to the almighty algorithm. So at this point, I ask that you bow your heads safely as we give our thanks and praise O Almighty algorithm. Here we are again. Presenting ourselves mind, body and soul to your grace and power, your endless quest of sorting audio graphically.
This why we are here. We ask for an increase, a boost, if you will, in these rankings. To show that the Sway Parade is worthy of mass entertainment. O Almighty algorithm as we do every week, we pray to you. We acknowledge your presence and power in return, Your Grace. Amen. All righty. With that out of the way, let's get into the news.
What's the big deal, fella? It's just a little bit news.
Our first story on this week's episode, Tornado Hits Marijuana Farm near Maud, Oklahoma. Authorities confirm to KOCO Coco five that a tornado hit a marijuana farm They have not said if anyone was injured. The weed was injured. And there's a video of it, too. So take a look.
See that fingertip or that little rope tornado coming down? Damon, this one is on the ground again and it's moving towards a more populated area. So definitely be in your in your storm shelters. It's forming precautions because this thing is headed your way to the northwest side of Maud. We're starting to see a lot of emergency lights out.
Now, if you're just listening, there's not a real legitimate tornado quite yet. It's certain forms get little swirls. But you can hear that the reporter on this here tornado is in a helicopter after a during a tornado flying in a helicopter. I don't know how this is a good idea, but to do it for the content, we want to see a weapon, big old tornado from the sky.
Let's continue watching.
Damon now it's forming.
OK, well, it it's trying. This is actually the one we've been tracking. But Damon, let's I want to go to.
The first popped up. It's on the ground.
Just straight north of mine. Zoom out and go right. Zoom out and go right. You know.
Sort of pulling out. Little tiny one. Not really getting off the ground. Too much. So let's pan over and see what other havoc is being wrecked in this storm.
Right in there. There was another one that was just kicking up debris, but that one to the left right there. That's what I was talking about. There was rotation there and there was some some debris in the air, whether it was water or trees or vegetation. Power flashes in the one to the left.
Again, this guy is in a helicopter during a tornado right below what they call, I believe, the cell of the storm, which is absolutely massive there right below that cloud line.
Back to the left. Zoom into that one right there, Francisco. Zoom into that one that I just got power.
Come on, Francisco. So there. Don't focus on flying this bird. Show me.
A neighbor is about some damage on the ground as this was moving into this more populated area. Oh, there you go. So definitely.
There's a wheat farm.
On the ground northwest.
Hardly even a cylinder that's formed with the tornado. But this wheat farm is getting destroyed.
Void roid mod as this thing continues to move through the area. Keep going right.
Through through the night. Vision on.
Let's follow that path. Yeah, there's that.
Oh, no. You can see right there Look at all the lights, the greenhouses, growing weed trailers. I mean, this is as Oklahoma as it gets weed and trailers and tornadoes is.
That's where the tornado is right now.
Oh, it's just destroying it.
Man, just a lot of destruction happening right now on the northwest side of Omaha. I'm seeing all of that debris going right up into the cloud. So it's really carrying it up.
Well, made residents mad. Oklahoma going to have to source your weed elsewhere for the time being because that tornado completely ripped it apart. Goodness. I want to take this time to mention this here is on the feed, on YouTube, on video. See this? But the majority of everything else in deep shot and in script, my clip is blurred out tastefully like genitals in a Japanese pornographic film.
Mainly to avoid getting hit with copyright strikes. But you can view all of the videos in the scrub my clip section Esswein Ltd dot com and all the links are posted if you want to make sure that I'm just not making this stuff up. It's a real tornado. OK. Next story. Ulta Beauty apologizes for perfume promo email on May 1st the first day of Mental Health Awareness Month.
The company invited email subscribers to, quote, Come Hang with Kate Spade talking about a perfume product discount. Now, if you didn't know, Kate Spade is a fashion designer and the founder of the Kate Spade brand didn't spend too much time thinking about, oh, what do I want to call my brand? Kate Spade. There you go. But she died by suicide in 2018.
And she did so by hanging herself. So whoever does that, Ulta making a promotional email at the very beginning of Mental Health Awareness Month. Because clearly if you hang yourself and decide to commit suicide, you have some mental health issues kind of insensitive. OK. They later apologized probably because there was a bunch of backlash, like, wait a second, I don't want to hang anywhere near Kate Spade because I know how that story ended.
So no thank you to your perfume. I want to take the time to acknowledge, too, because we are in May. It is Mental Health Awareness Month that if you or someone you know needs a resource to achieve better mental health, visit the National Alliance of Mental Health on their website or listen to that one logic song that has the name of the phone number, the suicide hotline.
I do want to say, though, the very insensitive Kate Spade, if she was still around probably was not happy with this promotion. But I want to say that if not, if when I pass and however that may be the gates are wide open, please make as many jokes as you can about how I ultimately perish. But I probably won't be a fashion designer I'm not going to be making any beauty products under the Chuck Sway name.
But still, remember Mental Health Awareness Month and think before you make an email next story, meet a driver charged with felony for doing donuts in empty parking lot. According to a Facebook post from Irvine Police Department, a first jen Mazda Amex five owner was arrested last week after said concerned resident emailed police a video of him doing six donuts and what looks to be a very big and very deserted parking lot the charge felony vandalism.
Irvine public works determine the dangerous maneuvers cost over 30 $700 in damage mainly probably rubber on pavement to the parking lot and painted parking lines so oh no our lines and our giant empty lot there they got rubber all over it that's a lot of damage. Well 30 $700 worth in the state of California that's technically a felony so you have now completely fucked up this young kid's life.
I mean, he made a bad decision, no doubt, with doing donuts. Reckless, but still pretty childish. I think personally the worst decision here was deciding to buy a Miata. But that's not a crime. I guess doing donuts is a felonious crime. But check me on if that word is a real one. So here's the penal code 59 for PC.
Felony vandalism is classified as maliciously damaging, destroying or defacing another person's property if that property happens to be worth more than $400. So by my math, and let me confirm that just to make sure because, you know, this is a real crime here and punishments need to be handed out. So if a felony is $400 and total damage was estimated at 30 $700 9.25 felonies were committed this dangerous me out of driving criminal under $400 he would have been a little more lucky because that's just a misdemeanor but all those felonies me Ortiz probably impounded think twice before you want to do donuts in a Miata.
Next story sheriff arrests his own daughter for meth trafficking. Methamphetamine does not discriminate neither do we, Franklin County Sheriff AJ Smith wrote in a post on the department's Facebook page It does not matter who you are. No one is immune or exempt. Now, the sheriff's office conducted a narcotics investigation which led to the arrest of Sheriff Smith's 38 year old daughter.
And this sheriff is known for cracking down on meth trafficking in this jurisdiction. Obviously, his daughter isn't even safe. And the sheriff's department operates with the motto, We don't mess around. Now, my own mother was a police officer for almost 40 years, and I feel like that is right up her alley. On what she would do if I was caught with meth.
I actually want to try to give her a call and see if I can confirm this, because I was never caught with meth. Neither did I ever have meth on my persons. But I'm curious because my mom as a cop was the cop first and a mother second, so give her a ring and see what she has to weigh in on the situation ooh.
I don't know if he got that tummy rumbling. Oh, come on.
Please leave your message for her.
Phone's off or one more time. That was a weird. Took a while for the call to connect. Her phone might be off she can do the same thing.
Criminy come on. Please leave your name.
It's all right. I'll come back to this. I will try every week. Until she picks up the goddamn phone. Well, moving on. A corrections officer arrested and fired for killing Carl the rooster. Carl, the rooster was a precious commodity to downtown Ocean Springs, Mississippi. Quote, He brought a lot of joy to a lot of people down here, said a local tattoo shop owner.
A video surfaced showing what looks like the kidnaping of Carl the rooster and a second video that apparently shows the dumping of his body in Biloxi, in Mississippi, I assume as well, in small town America. Crimes like these, they're getting published. And when they get published, they can end up here on the Sway Parade. But this is poor community rooster.
Whoo hoo hoo!
Would who would want to attack such a precious bird? And there's a continuing theme here on the show in the news segment. There's a lot of there's been a lot of bird stories. This one, I think, is the most tragic, to be completely honest, because this is an innocent rooster. An innocent rooster. That had a name coral. Not many people name their poultry creatures, but this one rest in peace, Carl, the rooster and a corrections officer.
Nonetheless, you think that's a public servant they're going to uphold. They're going to keep these criminals in check. But in reality, this officer was a criminal a poultry criminal. Rest in peace, Carl. The rooster. All right. Let's get into some wild news, Audie. That's some wild news. Now, before we get into this story and round up the segment, I want to remind everyone, if you find some wild news out there on the Web, send it my way.
I would love to throw it on the show. Instagram at Chuck Underscore Sway and add Sway Parade Pod. There's the discord there's Twitter with the same handle, check, underscore sway. Send them my way. I'd love to highlight it, but let's check out this story. A 26 year old man volunteered to drink a dysentery smooch worthy that would give him life threatening diarrhea to help scientists make a vaccine for.
Well, let's unpack this Jake Abbott's drink a shot glass worth of cloudy salty liquid that he knew was infused with diarrhea producing shigella. This is a bacteria that makes you shigella all over the place. He also knew the bacteria would in all likelihood give him an excruciating case of dysentery, dysentery or dysentery. I think it depends on what side of the pond you're on, on that one.
Well, it did ever it's was recently part of an 11 day inpatient vaccine trial at the University of Maryland where he was one of 16 young, healthy adult participants given a drinkable shigella shot, which they all did, swallowing knowing that it would make them violently ill that's a bold move for the sake of science. Even though Everett said what followed were, quote, the worst 8 hours of my life, he said he'd do it all over again, providing that he was paid and he earned seven grand on this trial.
He knew the research was being done for a good cause. Every year, hundreds of thousands of children and older adults around the world die after contracting, contracting, pardon me, shigella. There's no approved vaccine against the bacteria which is the second leading cause of diarrhea death globally. The number one killer, you might ask, is, of course, Taco Bell. No, it's not.
It's rotavirus. But there are multiple vaccines against that. So you make the argument that this is the number one killer you got no way to treat it. You just shoot yourself to death. Every time Edwards had to relieve himself, he put on a white hat over the brim of the toilet. Did his business, covered it with a paper towel or biohazard bag and carted down the hallway for sample extraction.
So I think we've all been in a position where we have excruciating diarrhea. I explained a few weeks back some of my personal escapades with the ailment, and there's many more. I could talk about diarrhea all day long. Personally, when you got to go, that's all you're concerned about. Sit on the toilet, evacuate your bowels, in the most aggressive way possible, flush it and forget it, and just hope that the trauma that it put on your body doesn't translate into mental trauma because of all the pain and pushing and squirting and all of those terrible things.
Well, in this trial, you can just go to the toilet and shit your brains out with the worst diarrhea that you can get medically. He had to put on a little cap and shit into that and then probably ring a bell like I got a sample and I wanna die. You want to come get that for me? I want to see if I can pull up.
There was a picture of that little hat, that poo hat in the article here. Yeah, here it is right here. It's like a little plastic cover for the toilet and you place it over and then it's got measurements of how much volume of diarrhea in the little center catch. I don't even know what to call it. So you play sat down and just shit violently.
Now, the nice thing about a typical trip with diarrhea to to the toilet is you have some space in between your cheeks and the water and then when that just flies out usually has enough velocity. We're not really getting splashed up. This looks like a really shallow catch for the sample diarrhea and I I don't know if I mean mainly if this is going to be the worst diarrhea you can absolutely have with dysentery probably is just straight brown murky water but that doesn't seem like enough.
I've filled up damn near a toilets worth of diarrhea. So I don't know how he managed to keep all the samples in that in that little hat of what they called it. Is there anything else from the story? Yes. His barrage of detailed tweets about the experience while in inpatient care inspired several dozens of others to volunteer to take part in this style of vaccine research.
So throughout the 11 days that he was doing this and dying, he still had the wherewithal to tweet about it. And the people that caught on to it was like, Oh, this sounds great. I'll do anything for $7,000. Sign me up. And yeah, just within a few days of Jake's tweeting, the center had 20 or 30 some people that signed up with an interest in more trials.
So at that facility it's probably going to be dysentery. And I, I would assume in this tweet three out of the 11 days he's saying this fucking sucks, it's awful. I happened to be making $7,000 because of this trial, but this is absolutely terrible and everyone reading the tweets just put their blinders on and was like $7,000 for it.
I don't care what it is, I could use seven grand. That's more than a STEMI though. Well, that does it for the news. If you're interested in doing diarrhea trials where you can check the link. That's why in limited dot com and pull in more information, I stopped in it right there though because yeah, it's better for someone else.
It's, it's a humanitarian work nonetheless. But I have to deal with my own shit literally. I don't want it to be force induced. This episode of the Sway Parade is brought to you by the parade. Plus members shout out to AJ Joe Michael Davis, Reverend Tanner, Mills, Quinn, Tyler and my dad. If you want a weekly shout out on the show as well as more perks with being a premium member, head on over to Swain Ltd. dot com and sign up for a plan starting as low as $6.90 a month.
All right. Now let's get back to the show look at that big belly.
Shop you get the was a deep shot.
First segment here on the Deep Shot NASCAR orders Denny Hamlin to begin sensitivity training after Family Guy tweet NASCAR ordered Denny Hamlin to begin sensitivity training this week after he posted an anti-Asian meme from the television comedy Family Guy. We all know a family is to criticize Kyle Lawson's driving on the last lap. The Talladega Speedway at Talladega.
Larson was in second, exiting the final turn when he made his move for the win. He moved up the track multiple lanes in an aggressive move that caused Kurt Busch. Kyle No Kurt Kurt Busch to crash. Hamlin is good friends with Larson the reigning Cup Series champion who was suspended by NASCAR for almost all of the 2020 season for using a racial slur during an online race.
Now, a lot to unpack if you're not familiar with NASCAR and the drivers so Denny Hamlin tweeted out the Family Guy meme now I'm not going to directly quote it because in 2022 this is insensitive and I also read it might be in here I might be jumping the gun here but I read that this portion of the Family Guy episode has been cut and when you stream it today it is insensitive but it was used as a meme because Larson what's his first name?
Kyle Larson was getting a little too frisky there on the track trying to make his move for the win and in his driving maneuvers caused Kurt Busch to crash. And so Denny Hamlin tweeted out that Kyle Larson, Kyle Larson why can't I remember this name? Kyle. Jesus Christ. Where did it go? Yes, it's Kyle Larson. Fuck, I apologize.
NASCAR fans. I'm still learning tweeted that out and said, you know, this is this is how you drive. This is a joke about your driving. It's not a joke that the driver in the family guy said happened to be Asian. But Kyle Larson is half-Japanese. So that was taken a little rough. Now, going back to Kyle Larson, they were saying he was the Cup Series champion and he was suspended for almost the entirety of the 20, 20 season because he used a racial slur during an online race.
I pulled that up. That's them streaming some sort of racing video game and it was kind of a community event. There was one player on the screen who was actually doing the racing, and then it was Kyle Larson who was sitting in a chair or maybe he was off screen, I can't remember. But then he's like, Hey, can you hear me?
Hey, hey, who said a word that, you know, you shouldn't be saying, especially with NASCAR type folk? It's not your word. So NASCAR was like, no, but now he's on the other end of it. Here's a breakdown of how the meme was explained. For everyone who doesn't know this little bit from Family Guy, the meme reflects a racist stereotype about Asian drivers.
And here we go. I did jump the gun. It's long been removed from the episode on all streaming platforms. How can I how can I explain this clip while remaining sensitive? It is an Asian driver that attempts to make a lane change and in doing so causes some havoc. So in the context of that being tweeted out, it makes sense of someone making a lane change and causing some havoc.
But the fact that there was race attached to it is a no go. It's not OK. Here's a excerpt from the NASCAR rulebook and one of its sections it says, The member shall not make or cause shall not make or cause to be made a public statement to fucking rulebooks. It's going to have confusing language that is confusing me public statement and or communication that criticizes, ridicules or otherwise disparages other persons based upon the person's race, color, creed, national origin, gender, sexual orientation, marriage, marital status, religion, age, and handicapping conditions.
So you broke the rules. You got to go to sensitive trade training. Denny Hamlin. But the thing is, is they're their friends. So if this was just sent directly to him, they'd be like, You piece of shit, you fucking but it was made public, tweeted out so you and got in a little bit of trouble. OK, let's move on.
But stay within racing, go into the a little bit more classy Formula One. This was during a qualifying. This is Charles Leclerc. Coming around the corner in his F1 car and Tokyo drift styles. It saves the turn. Now, these are supposed to be like the top level cars I mean they are they engineered to that is the quickest the fastest everything when it comes to cars aside from the limitations that Formula One gives so the fact that you come around the corner save the drift, flip back around and you're on to the race would have been that much more cooler if it was actually during the Formula One race?
But I believe these were qualifiers or test track, just getting a feel for the track, knowing that now you can drift. That's actually another view here from the cockpit. Ooh, first person view, just hold and on to it. Oh my goodness. That is my only experience with Formula One cars is racing them in the video game Forza and by racing them I tried it out once and I couldn't even keep the fucker on the track and I'm like, I'll just stick to, you know, the, the GTI series of cars.
So very impressive racing. No tragedy and no insensitive tweets. It's a good news. All right. What else do we have here in the deep shot moving away from racing. This is a clip from the USFL we covered this a few weeks ago. It's this new professional football league, and the game is a little bit different. And according to this video, the training is different as well.
Take a look here. Player's going to start his drill and oh, before they go in, are kind of running through plays this guy has a whimsical cigaret hanging out of his mouth, allegedly. Doesn't look like there's smoke coming out of it, but it might be I mean, NFL is trying to be a different breed. Actually, now that I look at this again, I don't it might just be like a little lollipop or something, which arguably would be a little bit more dangerous as you're running through drills.
Because if you got a sucker at the end of that thing and you do a little hop step, get a little contact, a little bump, you do a choke on that. So maybe Cigarets would be more endorse in this situation than a lollipop. Yeah, useful. That's that's what they allow. I mean, there's that picture of, oh, God, who is it.
It's some Jets quarterback from like 1950, whatever that is after the Super Bowl. I'll see if I can find it. After the Super Bowl in the locker room is just smoking a cigaret. Here it is. Those are the jets. Len Dawson who did Len Dawson play for the chiefs after the game in the locker room just sucking on a cigaret but this is in during training now.
I mean we didn't have social media back in the day of 19 whatever black and white picture time but I mean who knows they could have done that on the field but USFL is bringing it back it's old old school football with a new twist all right. Next in the deep shot taking a look at this clip right here.
High school football looks like what it is lining up help. Let me recycle this lining up for a play block puke puts a mouth guard in ball, gets height, runs out into the flag catches it. And that is six points for the puking man. I've been in this situation before. I have thrown up on the field not during a play.
And even if I did, I probably would have just fallen down on the back. Whistles go off. Everyone takes a knee. Oh, he's hurt. No, I just threw up and I'm really embarrassed. So good on him. His toughness real toughness does keep it. Just keep it down after throwing up. And I think that's a perfect transition into a strong play.
Let's take a look.
Coaches don't play too weak.
Our attic country strong. We're moving away from football, moving into baseball. Let's take a look here. Going just.
Once college game goes yard, hits the ball out of the field. Looks like he's going to get a few RB eyes in this one just running around. Ball's gone. You can get home whenever you want to get home and as he's ran and third what's going to happen that.
Absolutely gets leveled by the pitcher. Oh, my goodness. All right. Let's run these back again. So the ball is completely gone. It is. It is in another stadium. And I mean, what do you got to do if you're on both teams? You just got to wait. There goes that ball. Well, watch.
You just got to wait for the batter to take his bases, go home, score runs and just move on with your life. But as the hitter is rounding third, you see right here, the pitcher's like that was too disrespectful. I'm too good at throwing the ball straight and fast for that to happen. So he gets up on a sprint, drops his glove and lowers a shoulder.
Cutters wrong. Yes. Levels a runner. Oh, and he's just in, right, man. Run by the team. Bravo. The team that hit the home run. That was I mean, perfect form shady to do, real shady to do, but perfect form on the come strong tackle. No regard for human life. I tell you one more time coming in under own, you let you know.
You make sure you never hit a home run on me again.
I believe the game was ended after that display of unsportsmanlike, classless decisions by that pitcher. But we get a strong clip out of it. And with that, that does it for the deep shot. Let's move on to screw scrubbing some clips scrub my clip. Clip all right. We got moist ones this week. Take a look. Sees our first clip and scrub my clip.
Kind of a run over from Country Strong. I've kind of dubbed the country strong. When we get in there, that's that's country strong car and country strong car gets real excited. Well, I think in this clip, I found Country Strong, Khalil's brother and or cousin or both, if you get what I'm saying. Let's take a look at this.
This this country boy here.
He did bounce name of God me. You laugh because I got a bad coach.
Baby face here to Bobby. Look at him.
Who hey, coach.
All right, well, if you're just listening, name won't buy me you here. Very ecstatic. Country, country voice. What you're hearing is a man in a pair overalls with straight black snake. I have no idea what kind of snake this is. I'm not a snake ologist, but I would have to guess or assume that that might be a water moccasin.
And a cotton mouth. Those things are super venomous, and they'll fuck you up, and they inhabit the south in quite large numbers. So he's holding this snake. He's like, It ain't gonna bite me. No one about me. Look there. Look at that. And he's like, pushing it trying to provoke the snake to just latch on to his arm.
But he's got the best moonshine around. He pulls out like a gallon a straight gallon.
I've got to make sure.
It was a gallon correction. There's less than a gallon in there now, and we're going to assume where he existing liquid was, where it is now. It's in the man's belly. And so I think the thing is here is the the blood the blood is too washed out with moonshine. The snake's not going to bite is like, I don't want to do that.
I can fucking smell you. Puts it stung. I can smell you from here. I'm going to bite you. And he's just ecstatic. This is the his go to party trick when he drinks and I think he drinks a lot right stays here. The body did do scared me. Now a good bit of fun. All right. Next clip before I play this, actually, I want to give credit where credit is due.
This next clip was submitted by Payton. Now let's take a look. Old man coming in and oh, as an older gentleman on a bicycle and hop to a dirt mound trying to take his bike off of some sweet jumps and misjudges the speed in which he needed to clear that first mound and get over the second one and just hop set it just sliding down.
He lands, he foils his arms back. He's like, I'm too old for this shit. Like, yeah, you should have never got on that bike. Whoever suggested you could take that leap, well, don't listen to them anymore. Our next clip take a listen and take a guess. After I play this, I want you to only guess what it is if you guessed it was the guy who voluntarily gave himself dysentery for science.
You're wrong. This is just a regular dog and probably what is a world record for the longest dog fart. That video is 19 seconds and about 18.5. It was filled with a fart you just see the back of the dog, the tails up. It's probably trying to void its bowels and its normal business. It's on a leash, it's outside.
It's just trying to take a shit. But instead of shit it's just all hot air it's trying to get its back, back feet, trying to get a footing and the tail just kind of keep just pops up like a beer tap. Just pulling it like, all right, more more. Come on, poo. Come out, come out there's so much air in that dog's asshole.
At the very end. He get a little bit of play coming out. Oh, OK.
Next clip famous topic in relation to a car that was driving erratically on Cunningham Highway through the hilly thanks. Can't cope with it.
OK, so this is a Australian police officer making a statement to the press and a car drives by, probably sees, you know, a crowd of people microphones all around and just thinks I would try to do an Australian accent. But every time I try it just it's not they're still working on it and they drive by and he's like I'm going to give them a honk on my right hand drive car because that's all the cars we drive here in Australia.
So the reaction to that in typical Australian fashion is to drop the C-word because Australians love to say on it. So that's what he does. This is a cop giving a statement to the press about whatever the hell's going on. Less entertaining than calling someone a cunt. Car drives by, he makes it. Everyone laughs like this is every day in Australia like you just said, like, thanks bucko.
That's the American translation to what this cop said.
Hilly. Thanks, cunt.
Thanks. Can't we put that on the soundboard? And use it for future clips and the future shows? Hi. Check this one out. One All right. Still sticking with cars. This is another cunt, not the one that's driving, but the dumb ass that doesn't understand physics. So this is a convertible BMD here. And let's see, is this even a four seater or is it a two seater?
It looks like it's a two seater, but the top sound and might even have back seats. I don't know, but this guy here is sitting on the back of it, you know, like you would typically see on on a parade, you know, a float going by a car where, you know, you have your your your but what the fuck are they called?
The the women, the the bells of the ball, the mis miss small town USA wherever or was the town with Carl the rooster doing their parade and they're just, you know, going about two miles an hour. Hi.
Hello. Do you like my sash? But this is not at a parade, but yet someone thought that it was a good idea to be like, whoa, hold on. Let me just sit on the back of your car. This will be fun. And so the driver guns it and as physics go, if you're not connected to the mass that is accelerating, well, your mass is going to accelerate a little bit slower.
And that's exactly what happened. The guy's got his ass on the bag. It's like a slick top, the convertible. And he just he asked just scoots down until he tumbles off and falls and he's gone.
He just recorded top.
Okey dokey. Next clip here. Let's take a look.
Cross watch That's fucking insane, bro. What the fuck?
OK, so this is taking me back. Probably takes you back as well to classmates that you know had. They could do weird shit, right? The one I think of initially is when the kids found out they could take their eyelids and flip them inside out and just live here, what I could do. And then there was also the double jointed folks that are like, hey, look at my hand.
Yeah. And then just, like, flips it inside out, or they're like, look what I can do with my elbows and just, like, touch the other side. They scratch their opposite shoulder or. Well, no, wait, I can do that. They I don't know. They can. Whatever they can contort. And they have the gift of having multiple joints, double joints, if you will.
This kid here is like quadruple jointed. This is add some trampoline park kids just playing around. And then this one girl looks like a girl. She has long hair. And what looks to be a dress? Jesus Christ, she drops to her knees puts her head back, kind of flip around, whatever it's called. When you do the you're like, arch your back.
Another thing I can't do, if you remember the sit in reach, we're talking about flexibility here. The sit in reach as a kid, you put your feet out and then have that board with the measurements and you would. Yeah. Reach as far as you can and for most people, that's to at least to their toes. I can pretty much get to the top of my shins.
I couldn't even reach the measurement because my legs were too long and teachers just like, goddammit, this kid, on the other hand, the exact opposite. So she she flips around and then takes her one of her arms and puts it across and then crosses her arms again, which now she, it looks like she's making an ax and touching her ankles and then flips her spine over.
So now it looks like I just can I know it's blurred out on YouTube, but you have to pull up this clip because I don't know how this is even possible, but she flips it around. So now her head is facing 180 degrees backwards because her spine is just flipped around. And now she's waddling with the tops or the bottom the heels of her feet.
Now it's just it's fucking terrifying. I don't know if I'm doing a good job of explaining this, but it's terrifying nonetheless.
Yeah. Just give it a watch. And hopefully that makes sense because it's like, what the fuck? OK, let's get moist with the moist clip.
This next clip is so moist.
So take a look here.
Sex play against each other in the blast. We've only had 4000.
OK, so this appears to be at some sort of sporting event. They cut to a couple in the crowd. You have this one chap here drinking looks to be a sippy cup, but I would assume that it is not juice in there, at least not kid juice and wife or girlfriend, whatever is kind of leaning up on his on his chest and leaning over and talking to someone that you can't see in frame but as she's leaning over, her bosom kind of goes near this man's head.
And I think he does what all of us would do if we had a pair of titties in our face. He turns and just cups of titty in his mouth. And then she kind of talking to this guy and he's just just.
I'm taking your kidney.
Lol. Who doesn't want a kidney in their mouth? And the fact that this was on camera and good on you production crew, because I know this looks like maybe a cricket game. Yeah. This probably is cricket. I would say soccer, but these are pants. Soccer players don't wear pants when they run around kicking balls yeah. One more time on the titties just I today.
Go like what.
Sounds pretty moist again you get titties put in your face do you have consent? Right. Titties get put in your face that aren't yours or they're not yours to touch. Don't go sucking on titties. But that appears to be that these two are in cahoots with each other. And so he has permission to to do with those titties as he as he sees fit.
You see this still here too? So fucking why here? And what the hell put some titties in my mouth. She just looks kind of like confused is like, fuck is she talking to? Then he comes to and and he's like, you know what? Show him today. And he goes, check and titties.
Check your kidneys all righty.
Well, that pretty much does it for this week here on the parade. I want to give a another shout out to the parade. Plus, supporters, AJ, Joe, Michael Davis, Quinn Tyler, Reverend Tanner Mills and my dad and and I thank you all for watching and listening. And we'll be here next week with another show. All right.
Till then, you new.